Fallen From Grace
by BluestAngelDust
Summary: Taken off due to rating. All chapters are being put up again as they are edited. Rei has fallen into a cycle of destruction since her breakup with Minako, missing the fact that Hotaru is very much in love with her.
1. It All Started With A Picnic

Fallen From Grace

Loving someone is hell. Well, only if you can't have them. Unrequited love, cliché yet at the same time, rather appropriate. Just one more thing to add to the list of tragedies that make up my life.

Perhaps I'm being a bit melodramatic. Well, guess what?

Screw all of you.

"Hey, Hotaru! What are you doing just sitting there for?"

The raven-haired girl snapped around to look at the person calling her. It turned out to be a beautiful young woman, around 25 or so. Her shimmering blonde hair was done in the most peculiar, yet adorable, style of two buns, one on either side of her head. Her blue eyes twinkled as they watched her, an ever-present smile on her pink lips.

"Sorry, Usagi. I was just thinking."

The younger girl stood and felt the blonde link her arm through hers. Without another word, Usagi led her away from the log she sat on and back toward the site of their picnic. Soon, the sound of laughter reached her ears. Even she had to smile at the scene before her.

The blue-haired genius that was Ami Mizuno was chasing Makoto Kino, who had in her procession a book, which would appear to belong to the annoyed girl.

"Mako! Give that back!"

But the brunette ignored the shouts of her friend. Uncharacteristically, Ami threw herself at Makoto, managing to make the taller girl fall, rather ungracefully, on the grass. However, the tall brunette was able to throw the book at Haruka.

"Is this your book Ami?" the blonde teased with a trademark grin.

"Haruka," Michiru whispered huskily as she smiled up at the blonde, "be nice and give Ami back her book."

Haruka looked from the book to her girlfriend, then from her girlfriend back to the book. Decisions, decisions...

Suddenly, a blur appeared out of nowhere and snatched the book out of Haruka's hand. Everyone turned their eyes on the last blonde of the group.

Minako stood there, looking quite smug as she nonchalantly flipped through the pages of the book with a critical eye.

"Ami-chan, it's a BEAUTIFUL Saturday afternoon and you're with your friends. Yet you _still_ insist upon reading? That really hurts. "

Ami hesitated when she saw Minako's quivering lip and heard the pathetic sniffle. With a sigh, she relented and allowed Makoto to drag her towards Haruka and Michiru.

"All right! Let's play tag!"

"Aren't we too old for that?" Haruka asked as Minako began jumping up and down.

"Ruka, it sounds like fun."

The blonde took one look at the expression on her lover's face and relented, ignoring the snickers coming from Minako and Makoto. At this point, Hotaru was being dragged by a very excited Usagi toward the group. She couldn't help but smile at her friend's enthusiasm, however, and had no problem letting the blonde tug and pull at her.

"Hey, guys! Wait for us!"

"Come on, Usa! Hotaru, are you joining us?"

Feeling Minako's questioning gaze on her, Hotaru shook her head.

"No, I'd rather watch."

"But, Hotaru!" Usagi whined, and the leader of the Inner senshi joined in.

"Oh, leave her be. Unlike you, Usagi, Hotaru doesn't want to make a fool of herself."

"Rei! You're so mean!"

The other dark-haired woman only rolled her eyes at the blonde's whining. Really, she was going to become a powerful queen? You sure as hell couldn't tell right now.

With a huff, Usagi dragged everyone else to the middle of the clearing as she began explaining what was safe and what wasn't. Hotaru looked at Rei and gave her a tiny smile.

"Thanks, Rei-san."

The older girl smiled at her. "We've known each other too long for you to still call me 'Rei-san.' Call me Rei-chan or just Rei like everyone else."

Hotaru blushed as she nodded. "Yes, Rei-sa... I mean, Rei."

It was awkward calling the miko by her name and the shorter woman looked away quickly, trying to hide her embarrassment. With a nod to excuse herself, she walked away from the clearing, heading back to her sanctuary.

Rei's brows furrowed as she watched her walk away. What was up with Hotaru anyhow? Sure, she didn't know the girl as well as she used to, but something was definitely bothering her.

Judging from her expression, the far-away eyes, as well as the vibes coming from her, it was big.

'**Well,'** she thought to herself dryly, **'you are a miko. As one, you're supposed to help people. So... move your ass along!'**

With a frustrated sigh, Rei quickly ran to catch up with the woman standing by her only moments ago. She really needed to stop talking to herself... it was getting weird.

Hotaru cursed herself as she sat down on the fallen log. After keeping her secret for years, a single smile from the miko caused her to stutter like a child and her brain to shut down completely. She has never been one to show emotions, or to feel anything except pain so easily. Now after getting to know the senshi and living with Haruka, Michiru and Setsuna, feelings came so easily. Joy, love, happiness, admiration, fulfillment and everything else she's never tasted or felt.

So did it surprise her to realize one day that she loved someone? Not in a family sort of way, but really loved someone?

And is it really surprising with whom it turned out to be? In a nutshell, yes.

Who knew she would fall for her, of all people? She wondered about her sanity for a while. Just like everyone else, she had expected herself to fall in love with ChibiUsa. Who the hell knew she'd fall for _her_ instead?

Life is such a bitc-

"Hotaru."

Rei watched as the pale girl jumped out of her seat. Violet eyes turned and glared at her, the petite body tense. The miko smiled apologetically and walked until Hotaru had collected herself and sat back down on the log to approach and sit beside her.

"Are you all right?"

"What?" Hotaru asked as she looked at Rei, snapping out of her thoughts once again.

Rei's gaze softened as she brushed a stray strand of hair from the intense violet eyes.

"I asked if you were okay. You seem to have a lot on your mind lately."

Damn, so much for keeping it hidden. Was she that obvious?

"No, I'm fine," Hotaru replied quickly, shrugging a bit.

"You're a pretty bad liar, you know that?"

Hotaru fell forward and would have landed on her face if a strong hand hadn't grabbed her wrist. Rei tugged on Hotaru's arm, frightened that the girl would get hurt. The youngest senshi crashed most ungracefully back onto the log.

"Hotaru! Are you okay?"

Hotaru groaned as her hand instinctively reached to rub her sore ass. Then, remembering who was with her, she quickly stopped.

"Um... yeah, thanks Rei."

"For what? Bruising your cute butt?"

Hotaru pitched forward again, down right shocked for the second time in 10 seconds. This time, the miko decided against grabbing her wrist, knowing she might tug on the girl too hard again and cause something to come out of its socket or bruise her butt again.

So, instead, she wrapped her arms around Hotaru's thin waist. With a single move, the violet-eyed girl stumbled backwards.

The younger girl felt two slender arms holding her, strong and comforting. And, she noticed, she was no longer sitting on the hard log. Instead… whatever she was sitting on was very warm... and very soft.

Violet eyes opened and looked straight into a pair of lavender ones. She knew she was staring into Rei's eyes, because there was only one person who could possibly have eyes that beautiful. They were bottomless orbs of purple, a couple of shades lighter than her own. The fire those eyes held both excited her and scared her at the same time.

It was then she realized she was sitting in the miko's lap.

Jumping to her feet, Hotaru bowed as she blushed.

"I'm sorry! Thank you for catching me!"

Lavender eyes twinkled with amusement as she watched the usually calm and collected senshi stutter. The blush on her cheeks was a definite, and cute, contrast to her pale skin. Rei couldn't help but notice how her silky hair fell in her eyes as she continued to bow.

"Hotaru, it's fine," she said laughing. "I'm just glad you're okay."

The adoring blush faded somewhat, though leaving behind a healthy, rosy but of coloring in the pale cheeks. Rei let her eyes wander to the pond.

"It's beautiful here..."

"Yes, it is."

Rei studied Hotaru. Hm… she'd hit another growth spurt. The last time she had seen her, which was about a month ago, the senshi still looked around 17. Now, she looked 19, six years younger than herself. Unlike the first reincarnation, Hotaru's health was much better this time. There was no demon living inside of her, so her growth was for the most part normal. But then again, being a senshi meant there was no normal, ever.

Still, she has matured wonderfully. No longer the shortest, Ami now claimed that title. Her black hair was actually a bit past shoulder length, giving her a less child-like appearance.

"So, what's been bugging you?"

Hotaru couldn't help but sigh. Of course, when has Rei Hino ever given up?

"Nothing."

"I've already told you you're a bad liar."

Hotaru turned and glared at the senshi of fire in annoyance. Rei merely responded with a chuckled.

"Come on Hotaru, you might not think so, but you're pretty bad at hiding it."

"No, I'm not," the embarrassed and annoyed girl snapped. "I believe I'm quite good at it. It's simply that you're a bit more observant than everyone else."

"So, there is something bugging you."

Rei heard an uncharacteristic curse slip from Hotaru's pink lips.

"Come on, you can tell me."

"No, I can't."

The miko frowned when she saw Hotaru wrap her arms around herself. All right, whatever it is, it must be more serious than she had thought. Rei placed a hand on the girl's shoulder.

"Hey, you can tell me anything. I'm always here to lend a helping ear."

"It's nothing really. Just some small things."

"Hotaru-"

Before Rei could continue, a scream shook the park. Her companion decided that she was, for the first, and probably _last_ time, thankful for a youma attack. Her senses were tingling as she and her secret love ran toward the direction of the scream.

When they got there, the other girls were already present, but still in their civilian identities. With one look at the youma, they quickly transformed.

"Mars Star Power!"

"Saturn Star Power!"

The youma's ugly head turned to the two senshi and sneered. Mars looked at the others, puzzled as to why they haven't transformed yet.

"Mars! Saturn!" Usagi yelled, the panic clear from her voice. "We can't move!"

"Shit," Mars whispered.

One looked at the youma and she knew it would take a lot to bring it down. It was the size of three football players for god's sake! And she didn't particularly like that sword attached to its right arm.

"Damn, I thought I got all of you pests!" It screamed, yellow eyes trained on Saturn and Mars.

"We're not pests!" Mars yelled back, already starting to lose her temper.

Meanwhile, Saturn's cold eyes were studying the situation. The youma was about ten feet from the other girls, so an attack would most likely not hurt them. But, she couldn't take the chance, especially not with the Princess standing in the front. Damn, why weren't the rest of the senshi in front of her?

"You are a bunch of pests! All talk and no action!"

"You dumb ass!" Mars yelled back, "THEY CAN'T MOVE!"

"Oh, yeah? I'll release them just to prove my point!"

Saturn could only blink as the youma turned to the frozen senshi and brought his hands up. Suddenly, he paused. Its head snapped back to Mars, yellow eyes narrowing dangerously.

"You bitch! I'm not going to fall for that."

Mars simply sighed. Well, so much for that idea. She and Saturn barely had time to dodge as the youma came running towards them, swinging its blade dangerously.

Saturn felt the blade cut into her calf. Thank god it was both a small wound and not very deep. Either way, it forced her to lose her balance as she fell to the ground.

"Saturn!"

The short senshi quickly rolled to her left as the blade narrowly missed her head. Bringing her Silence Glaive up, she was able to block the youma's thrust.

"Mars Firebird Strike!"

The creature shrieked as the phoenix hit its side and the force of the attack sent it flying through the air. Saturn scrambled to her feet, leaning slightly on her glaive.

"Saturn, you okay?"

The Outer Senshi nodded, eyes still trained on the fallen beast.

"Any ideas on dusting it, Mars?"

"We need Moon to dust this one. Any thoughts on how it's freezing them in place?"

Saturn shook her head and tensed when the youma moved. Her eyes turned to the senshi beside her.

"Negative. But we need to do something, fast."

"How's your leg?"

"It's healed now."

"Good. I don't think it's using anything to freeze them, more like a power. And why didn't it do it to us anyhow?"

"My guess is our powered up state gives us immunity."

The two senshi threw themselves in opposite directions as an energy ball launched by the youma came flying towards them. Without another word, Mars raced forward.

"Mars Celestial Fire Surround!"

Yellow eyes looked around frantically, fire surrounding on all sides. Spotting an exit, it leapt and hurled itself at Mars, sword drawn.

Violet eyes narrowed in panic when Saturn realized the youma figured out Mars' weakness in close combat. The fire senshi dodged as the lion struck over and over again with lightning speed. Who knew this bulky beast was so damn fast?

Purple eyes met as Mars looked over to the youngest senshi for help. The small break in concentration was all the youma needed to send the long-haired fighter flying through the air and into a nearby wall. Before she could even fully feel the force of impact, the world became dark.

"Mars!"

The beast snarled triumphantly at the sight of the unconscious body sliding to the ground, a trail of blood staining the white stone. It didn't have much time to bask in its victory when instincts sent its body springing to the side. Still, cold metal cut through its right arm like a hot knife through butter as blood splattered on the ground.

There was no time for the beast to grief for its loss as the Silence Glaive came swinging towards its head. This swipe it was able to dodge, though losing a few strands of orange fur.

"You'll pay for hurting her."

The beast visibly shuddered as it turned to the remaining senshi. Violet eyes glared at the monster, burning with a cold and vicious fire. Despite the enemy's small size, yellow eyes narrowed in fear. A gloved hand gripped the glaive tightly.

In an instant, Saturn charged, her weapon ready to strike. Without its sword, the youma could only dodge. It seemed like victory belonged to the senshi of Death when the lion youma opened its mouth and out shot a beam of ice.

"Damn," the raven-haired senshi mumbled as it became increasingly harder to kill the enemy. How the hell was she supposed to kill it when she couldn't even get close to it?

'**I can't use my attack,'** Saturn thought angrily. **'It'll destroy the world. Ugh, as if I didn't have enough teen-angst to think about, I have to worry about killing a large monster that has my friends frozen and just knocked out the love of my life. Great.'**

Saturn was quickly forced into a defensive position, playing a game of tag with large beams of ice. Half the park was covered in the slippery substance, everything from the benches to the ground to the trees.

'**Mars could really help right now.'**

At the thought of the older senshi, Saturn looked over at the prone form on the ground. The head wound was bleeding profusely, meaning she needed help, fast.

'**Don't think about the way her silky hair looks. If it hits me with that ice beam, we're all screwed. Moon is the one that's cut out for this whole, "the safety of your loved ones and the world rests on your shoulders" kind of crap. I'm just the girl that cleans up the mess should she fail.'**

The only senshi left mobile gazed at Mars once again. The anger seized her, rushing through her veins in a raging flood. All other thoughts disappeared as she focused on the task at hand. She weighed each option carefully, the possible outcomes, drawbacks and her own limitations. Oh hell, she practically _was_ power. Just charge the damn thing and be careful of beams of ice threatening to turn her into a Popsicle and the slippery ground. And if that didn't work, well, they were screwed.

She broke into a run, her glaive posed. The beast smirked; this was the opportunity it had been waiting for. Slowly, its snout opened. The blue-white beam rushed at the oncoming senshi.

"What the hell is she thinking!" Haruka exclaimed.

"She's not!" Makoto screamed back.

The senshi and princess could only watch as the ice beam headed for their friend. Even stranger, she didn't appear to plan on dodging.

"You're right," Minako whispered, a small smile playing on her lips.

"What are you smiling at? Do you know something we don't?" Makoto growled in annoyance.

The blonde senshi of Love rolled her eyes dramatically. Makoto would've pounced on her commander and beaten some sense into her if not for the fact that they were frozen.

"You mean, Mako-chan, you haven't noticed?"

While the brunette and now Haruka glared at Minako, Usagi observed Saturn. The fire in those violet eyes and the barely controlled rage was unusual for the girl. She had never seen the calm and deadly senshi so... irrational and impulsive.

"Are you two blind?"

"Just tell us, Minako!"

"Calm down," Michiru scolded her impatient lover. She could not, however, hide the amusement in her voice.

"Really, why are you blaming her while you're Hotaru's father and should know what Minako does? You should be ashamed you haven't realized it already."

Usagi watched as Saturn jumped out of the way in the last possible second. However, the youma had already moved its position, making the charge useless. Saturn's actions were being controlled by her emotions...

"Mako," Ami mumbled, something Usagi knew her friend only did when she was embarrassed. "Haven't you noticed that Hotaru's been acting a little weird lately?"

"Ami!" Haruka bellowed, jumping to defend her daughter.

"No, Haruka," Minako sighed in exasperation. "She means how Hotaru's been blushing a lot, stuttering, spacing out all the time and avoiding people."

"Really? She's not avoiding me… or it doesn't seem like it."

"Well," Michiru giggled, "that's because she's only avoiding one person."

There was silence. The Princess took in the sight of Saturn slicing the youma's chest, a smirk playing on the senshi's lips.

"She's in love with Rei."

Usagi felt all eyes turn to her.

"She's in love with Rei, am I right? Minako? Ami? Michiru?"

"Wow," the blonde senshi of Venus whispered. "Usa-chan, I didn't know you'd figure it out before Makoto."

The future Queen ignored the unintentional insult. But she wouldn't have been able to comment anyhow seeing as how Haruka screamed loud enough to wake the dead.

"What? That's impossible! Rei? Why Rei? How?"

The senshi of Neptune mumbled under her breath at her lover's outburst. Finally! It _only_ took an entire year for Haruka to realize the truth.

"Ami?" Makoto called. "When did this happen?"

"About a year ago, I suspect. Or, at least I have evidence of it for only a year. Who knows how long Hotaru's really cared for Rei."

"We're talking about Hotaru here, do you guys know for sure?"

"I'm the Goddess of Love! I should know, Makoto!"

"That," Haruka sulked, "is not good enough. She can't be in love with Rei."

"No," Usagi said, cutting in. "She isn't just in love with Rei... she's head over heels in love with Rei."

Saturn dodged yet another beam of ice. The youma was showing no sign of fatigue. She, however, was starting to feel her body shutting down.

'**All right, let's hope this one works.'**

Once again, she charged. Damn, if her Saturn Death Reborn didn't work, they were all screwed. The lion snickered. This remaining senshi was stupid and young. Her anger clouded her mind much too easily. Using the other one against her was a great idea. It was finally the time to end all this foolishness. Saturn saw the ice beam come towards her and gripped her glaive.

'**Please, work.'**

Suddenly, a pair of hands pushed her out of the way and to the ground. As she fell, her expression twisted into one of horror.

"Mars! No!"

Before her eyes, Mars was enclosed in a thick layer of ice and fell to the ground.

The others watched in disbelief. Mars was frozen solid!

"No," Ami whispered.

"Damn it!" Makoto screamed, trying again to move.

"Saturn..."

All eyes turned to their Princess, confused as to why she whispered 'Saturn' and not 'Mars."

Saturn forced herself to her knees, eyes wide. Slowly, her gloved fingers brushed against the ice that surrounded the fiery senshi.

"Hah! Now that I've got her, she's going to stay frozen!"

"Until you die you mean."

Yellow eyed widened when it heard the cold voice. It soon found herself staring into a pair of violet eyes burning with hatred. And at that point, the youma knew it was going to die.

"This ends now."

Saturn rose to her feet and released her Glaive. The weapon began spinning wildly as an eerie purple light surrounded the senshi. Her tiara disappeared, the sign of Saturn glowing brightly on her forehead.

"Saturn."

The other senshi gasped, the raw power coming from the girl was amazing.

"Hell."

The ground shook violently while the lion youma stood frozen with fear.

"Summon!"

Saturn grabbed the glaive and slammed it into the ground. A large crack raced towards the youma, splitting to surround the panicked beast. Purple light shot from the ground and enveloped it.

As the lights dimmed, the beast was gone, leaving nothing. Minako screamed as she suddenly regained control of her body. But being in the running position she had been in for so long did nothing to help her regain her balance once she was free from the spell and sent her crashing to the ground. While she got up, sore, everyone else ran over to Saturn.

The violet-eyed senshi was kneeling with Mars' head in her lap. One hand rested on the defrosted woman's neck to raise her head slightly while the other slipped to rest on the back of Mars' head. A purple glow appeared, highlighting the unconscious woman's blood soaked hair. As the others watched, Saturn continued to heal her wounded comrade.

'**Let her be all right.'**

Saturn had no idea how Mars survived the severe head wound, much less regained consciousness in time to save her only to be encased in ice. The woman was lucky to be alive. Violet eyes opened tiredly as the glow disappeared. She panicked when she had done all she could for Rei yet the woman was still unconscious.

Ami placed a hand on Saturn's shoulder and knelt down on the unconscious woman's other side. After checking her friend over, the computer genius asked Haruka to bring over her car.

"She's fine," Ami reassured everyone, but looked at Saturn. "She's running a fever and I think she has a concussion. The sooner we get her home and in bed, the better."

Saturn nodded numbly and almost whined when Makoto lifted the unconscious girl from her lap. She scolded herself quickly. Rei was hurt and no matter how strong she was, she would never be able to carry the miko to the car.

A hand appeared in her line of vision, offering to help her up. She looked up to discover Usagi smiling down at her warmly. The blonde then pulled her to her feet.

"I know you're worried," her soft voice soothed. "But you're still in your fuku."

A light blush colored Saturn's cheeks once she realized her princess was. Quickly, Hotaru Tomoe took the place of the legendary Saturn.

Haruka's car pulled up and Makoto placed Rei in the backseat before she got in herself. Ami jumped into the passenger side seat. Rage enveloped Hotaru again before she suppressed it.

'**Makoto needs to be there to carry Rei up the stairs. Ami is a pre-med student. Haruka-papa needs to drive. Who isn't needed? You.'**

Usagi squeezed the youngest senshi's hand as Setsuna suddenly pulled up in a garnet convertible. Her eyes twinkled as they took in the surprised expression on everyone's faces.

"Need a lift?"

* * *

I'm sorry about making up an attack for Saturn. I really didn't want to, but I needed SOMETHING that won't cause the destruction of the universe. No universe, no story.

Hope you like it this fic. Weird couple, yes, but CUTE! At least I think so.

- This was deleted by the staff since I didn't change the rating after the site changed its system. I'd been meaning to edit this fic anyway, so it gave me the perfect opportunity. I've gone through and gotten rid of all the annoying typos and stupid errors I'd been too lazy to correct before. (Eek, I know that was bad, I'm sorry!) But other than that, very little has been changed. I've deleted almost all of the notes that I had at the end of each chapter since they don't really apply anymore. Most of them were responses to reviews and to Ebil-sama anyway.

I suppose I'll add a few more notes for those of you that are actually reading this. I don't think there's anyone out there, right? Hello? Anyone?

Either way, back to the point. I don't really recall where the idea for this story came from. I do know that I'd been dying to write a shoujo-ai fic. My first was Gravity of Love, actually, but the idea of a Rei and Hotaru fic just wouldn't leave me be. I suppose it's because they're two of my favorite characters from all of anime and video games. But I thought they would be perfect together. The two are different and yet, in my opinion, very much the same.

I believe that they are different enough for a relationship to not only work but grow and strengthen yet at the same time similar enough for it to be stable. But in order to get there, I figured their personalities contrasted and differed enough for the road to be difficult and not without a certain amount of grief and pain. But it's those things that make it worth it, right?

All right, I better cut this note off here. I'm sure I've lost the attention of those of you that's actually reading this. Thank you for reading either the story or both the story and the note. -

Disclaimer: All of the characters from the show "Sailor Moon" or "Bishoujo Senshi Sailor Moon" (whichever you prefer) belong to the talented Takeuchi Naoko. So, nothing except the plot belongs to me. Well, in a way the plot doesn't really belong to me either. After all, there is no such thing as a "new" idea in writing.


	2. Put My Mind At Ease

Fallen From Grace

Setsuna stood in the corner, her arms crossed as she observed the scene before her. Michiru was sipping a cup of tea while trying to calm a distressed Usagi. Minako was flipping through a magazine, clearly agitated. And Hotaru? Well, she was staring at the door and has been closed for the past hour.

The door in question suddenly opened, revealing Ami, Makoto and Haruka. The three were shocked to see Setsuna, but before Haruka could comment Usagi spoke.

"Ami! How is she?"

The blue-haired pre-med student smiled softly. Everyone in the room relaxed.

"Just fine, we put her into a hot bath for a while to warm her up and now she's all tucked in. The concussion is minor, but she'll be a bit clumsy for the next two or three days. The fever isn't too high."

A collective sigh of relief came from everyone.

"Really?"

"Yes, Mina-chan. She'll be fine with a little rest."

Usagi collapsed onto the couch and sighed again.

"But…"

The Princess shot right back up at the word uttered by Haruka. Across the room, Hotaru tensed.

"She'll need someone to watch over her for a couple of days, just to make sure. Her grandfather and Yuuichiro are both out of town."

Minako smiled evilly, her eyes meeting Usagi's and then Michiru's. The three women smiled to each other and Ami soon caught on.

"Unfortunately," Minako began, sighing dramatically, "My parents are dragging me to Tokyo as I told you guys before. I'll be gone for over a week."

"And I'm sleeping over at Makoto's for a while to help set up her computer."

Makoto looked at Ami in confusion before the shorter girl nudged her in the ribs. The brunette blinked a few times before nodding furiously.

"Yea, that and the apartment's been lonelier than normal."

"Mamo-kun's coming back tomorrow."

Haruka and Makoto both snickered. The deep blush on Usagi's face was a hilarious sight.

"Well, Haruka and I have been planning a retreat for a couple of months now, but..."

Everyone looked at Hotaru, expecting her to pick up where Michiru left off. Feeling all eyes on her, the girl blushed.

"Um... I can stay to take care of Rei-ch... I mean Rei."

The entire room shared a look while Hotaru turned to Setsuna.

"Care to join me, Setsu-mama?"

Dread seized the other senshi. They had forgotten about Setsuna. And with her girlfriend Minako out of town, she'd have no reason to turn down the offer.

"I'm sorry, but I'm going to be quite busy for the next few days, Taru-chan."

Setsuna smiled softly, but Hotaru knew from her tone that there was no room for discussion. Usagi sighed in relief. Their plan worked.

"Well," Minako said, standing. "Look at the time! We should all get going now."

The blonde walked over and gave Hotaru a quick hug. Her actions were then mimicked by the other six women. Makoto smiled at the younger girl before walking out.

"Take care of her."

"I will."

The last out the door was Minako, ironic since she was the first to announce she had to leave. The blonde winked at Hotaru before closing the door.

"Have fun!"

Before the youngest senshi could comment, the door closed with a soft click. Silence surrounded the princess of Saturn as she paused.

They all knew about her crush.

A groan echoed in the large apartment as a petite body collapsed on the couch Usagi occupied with Michiru minutes ago. Were they observant or was she losing her touch?

* * *

A damp washcloth wiped Rei's face while concerned violet eyes gazed down at the unconscious woman. When was she going to wake up? Oh, what she wouldn't give to see those lavender eyes open right now.

It was strange how similar yet different they were.

Hotaru rinsed the cloth in the basin of hot water beside the bed. Squeezing the water out, she carefully wiped her "secret" love's face again.

Their features were similar. Purple eyes, though hers were darker and dull in color. She was sure people who saw her eyes thought she was the most unemotional person in the world, and they'd be right to a certain degree. She hid everything she felt behind a mask, letting no emotion be shown to the world.

But Rei's were a soft lavender color with hints of violet, darkening and lightening with her mood. A fire always burned within, either hot and suffocating or warm and tender. She let the world see exactly what she was feeling and thinking.

And the older woman's hair was basically raven silk. Light purple in the light with red highlights and rich, beautiful ebony in the dark. Hotaru's was just black, like the depth of space.

Ugh, she needed to stop thinking.

Hotaru growled as she picked up the basin and walked into the bathroom. The water swirled as it went down the sink drain.

A few days with Rei, even if she was unconscious, was simply too much. But the miko needed someone to stay with her, what with her future clumsiness, fatigue, drowsiness and the lack of appetite. That and the 103 degree temperature she had.

Maybe one of the other girls-

Wait. They set her up, so no way was that happening. Even Setsuna was against her this time. Wonderful.

* * *

Hotaru was lying on the couch in Rei's room. She would have liked sleeping on the comfortable bed in the guest room, but feared the senshi of Mars might awake and find herself alone. Of course, all the senshi knew Rei was definitely one of the strongest, tough-as-nails and not scared of anything. But just imagining waking up in a dark room after a fight, a hard fight, with one killer headache, dizzy, nauseous and having no idea where you were sent a shiver down Hotaru's spine.

For Rei's sake she stayed in the room.

For her own sake she stayed far away from the older woman's bed.

Love. It did not fit a person like Hotaru Tomoe. After all, who would ever think the Goddess of Death and Destruction could love? Much less be loved in return? None of the other senshi truly understood her. Yet, they all loved her.

Setsuna, Haruka and Michiru loved her as all parents love their children. Sure, they weren't her real parents nor was she their real child, but they loved her nevertheless. Usagi loved her. But that's no surprise, Usagi loved everyone. The blonde princess had such a pure heart, such a large heart that she loved even the worst people in the world. That list included her.

Then there were the Inners. Minako loved her, but it was the love a leader had for her charge and comrade. Not matter how much more powerful Hotaru was, no matter how much wiser she may be when it came to certain things, Minako was the leader. And as the leader, the bond between her and the members of the team was strong. Minako loved her, didn't know her, but loved her nonetheless.

Makoto loved her. But it was the love that an older sister has for her younger sibling. The brunette could tell she was different from the very beginning and the lack of a parental figure in their lives bonded them. The green-eyed girl always looked out for her, giving her advice or just baking her cookies when she was down.

And Ami. The shy blue-haired genius was always the one Hotaru fled to for shelter. The quiet but wise woman has become her friend, her confidant. Nights filled with confessions of their love. One difference. Ami and Makoto were together. But Rei and Hotaru were not.

And then the miko herself.

Hotaru could never decipher the fire senshi's feelings for her. She knew in the beginning, Rei was weary of her, in the same way that Haruka was. After all, who would possibly trust the senshi of Death and Destruction? She wouldn't have. And the priestess was especially protective of Usagi, in a way that only Mamoru could rival. Hotaru had known that the miko cared for the Princess in a way deeper than friendship since the beginning, or suspected it anyhow. The Inners told her so, and even as a five year old she could tell.

But after a while, Rei began to pity her. Pitied her for what she went through and her life. And because of pity and… well, because the fact that Usagi forced the miko, she slowly started to care for her. The lavender-eyed woman could never refuse Usagi and listened to everything she said, even now.

Then it became a sense of adoration. Rei got closer to her, taking her 5 year old girl self shopping, to the park and sometimes just hanging out with her. When she was around ten, it became a motherly kind of love, the same way Michiru, Haruka and Setsuna loved her. At sixteen, it became the love of a friend, the kind of friends that rarely talked about problems but just enjoyed each other's company. And now...

Well, that's the whole problem isn't it?

Hotaru growled and stood. This was madness. And it is so damn hot in this room.

Without thinking, Hotaru took off the blouse she wore, revealing a black tank top underneath. Damn, maybe she should have worn a skirt instead of jeans. Walking over to the balcony doors and opening them, her petite figure slipped out.

* * *

Rei suppressed the urge to groan as she floated in and out of consciousness. Opening her eyes, she quickly shut them as a wave of dizziness hit her. Why the hell was the room spinning? And the huge headache didn't help things either. Slowly, she raised her hand to her head, though her arm felt like it weighed fourteen tons.

After several minutes of deep breathing and staying perfectly still, Rei figured out three things. First, she felt like hell. Second, she was in her room. Third, there was someone in the room with her.

The aura was familiar, though she was too disoriented to tell exactly who it was. Hell, she felt lucky to know who _she_ was.

Moving her head slowly, the dizzy woman opened her eyes once again. The sight that greeted her was completely unexpected.

A short and slim figure stood on her balcony; the doors open as a cool breeze floated into the room, playing with the translucent curtains. A simple black tank clung to the curvy body while pale arms supported the girl as she leaned against the railing. Shoulder-length black hair greatly contrasted with the ivory skin. A hand gracefully flipped the black silk over one shoulder, revealing a long and slender neck.

The girl was an amazing sight to behold and the miko knew there wasn't another person in the world like her. Lavender eyes closed as Rei's nose was invaded by the intoxicating scent of vanilla and cherry blossoms. Ruby lips curved into a soft smile. Hotaru Tomoe.

Yes, no one in the world could ever be like that girl. Hotaru Tomoe with her violet eyes, dark and seemingly empty, but always captivating. Of course, Rei Hino knew there was so much more in those eyes than most people could ever dream of. The miko regretted treating the girl badly in the beginning; she had suffered too much to be treated like trash.

Her pale skin, no one else could ever be that pale. It was the perfect example of soft, smooth, ivory skin. Sure, Usagi was pale, but there was always a rosy flush in her cheeks that Hotaru didn't have. Hell, the girl had almost no color, though that only contributed to her beauty.

Hotaru suddenly turned around, as if knowing the miko was thinking of her at that very moment. Lavender and violet met, light clashing with dark. It was obvious the younger woman was shocked by the miko's consciousness.

"Rei! You're awake!"

The fiery woman winced at the volume. She groaned softly and held her hand to her head as Hotaru crossed the distance between them.

The miko tried to sit up, failing miserably. Rolling her eyes, the younger girl pushed the stubborn woman back onto the bed.

"And what do you think you're doing?"

The firm tone surprised Rei, giving Hotaru a chance to tuck the covers under her chin.

"W-what happened?"

Both women winced at the sound of the miko's voice. Violet eyes flashed with guilt as the college student helped Rei up slightly and brought a glass of water to her lips. It was emptied within seconds.

"You pushed me out of the way when the ice beam came at me."

"Oh."

Rei remembered now. Waking up with a killer headache, the first thing she saw was Saturn running straight at the beam. Panic seized her and she rushed into action, jumping to her feet. The pain almost caused her to fall to her knees, but she charged toward her fellow senshi. Then, there was nothing.

"Why were you running straight into the beam anyway?"

Hotaru shifted uncomfortably, unable to meet Rei's eyes.

"Well, my Death Reborn Revolution can usually block attacks, and since the youma was pretty weak by then, I figured my attack would protect me. The youma would've been pretty surprised that I charged into its beam and came out fine, giving me enough time to kill it."

"So," Rei said slowly in disbelief, "I threw myself in the way... for nothing?"

Hotaru blushed deeply while nodding slowly, playing with Rei's blanket. The miko groaned and pulled the blanket over her head.

"One of the few times I decide to be chivalrous and it wasn't even needed!"

Hotaru smiled softly, pulling the blanket away to reveal a pouting miko. Her smile widened and she reached over to brush a strand of hair from Rei's forehead.

"Not needed? Perhaps. Appreciated? Yes."

Another groan was her response as Rei pulled the blanket over her head again.

"How about highly appreciated?"

The blankets were pulled down as lavender eyes glared at the amused and guilty but very cute expression on Hotaru's face.

"Squirt."

"Hot head."

"Pale."

"Bad tempered."

"Skinny."

"Stubborn."

"Cute."

Hotaru blushed immediately and Rei smiled despite her pounding headache. That one always stopped the girl in her tracks, no matter what they were arguing about. However, the miko knew it was because Hotaru wasn't used to being complimented in such a way. Despite the girl's much more stable physical condition, her experiences had made it hard to make friends. Being called 'cute' was only something the senshi did. And even then, it was rare.

"Liar."

Rei opened her mouth to speak but was silence by a wave of dizziness. Caught between the desire to comfort her friend and cutting her own head off, she managed to find and squeeze Hotaru's hand. Violet eyes gazed at the miko as lavender eyes opened.

"I think it would be best if you slept."

Underneath the firm and somewhat impersonal comment was concern. Rei nodded, only to groan as her headache and the dizziness worsened. How the hell was she supposed to sleep?

Hotaru released a long breath. No time like the present to test what Setsuna-mama and Rei's taught her. Sitting down on the bed, she cleared her mind of everything. A small hand moved forward, glowing softly. Her fingertips trailed down Rei's face with a feather-light touch. The miko's skin was soft and smooth, just like she knew it'd be.

Rei opened her eyes, gazing at her friend in confusion. Upon seeing the reassuring smile and the purple glow of her hand, the miko relaxed. Lavender eyes closed again, feeling Hotaru's healing energy flow through her body.

The senshi of Death and Destruction was utterly fascinated. Never in a thousand years did she imagine caressing Rei's face in real life. Sure as hell not while she was awake. And for god's sake, Rei wasn't stopping her.

'**You idiot, you're helping her, of course she doesn't mind.'**

Even so, as much as Hotaru hated doing it, she was going to take advantage of the situation while she could. Slowly, she allowed her thumb and forefinger to brush against Rei's closed eyes. The miko didn't move. Feeling bolder, Hotaru traced the curve of the miko's nose, letting it linger at the tip for a while.

It looked like something out of a cartoon actually. A beautiful woman lying in bed, long hair fanned out all about her. A glowing angel caressing the face of a slumbering beauty tenderly, staring with adoring eyes. But she was far from an angel.

Her fingertips continued by brushing against the woman's cheeks. She then traced her jaw, wanting more than anything to touch with her lips and not her fingers. An idea came to Hotaru, but she dismissed it quickly. No, she couldn't.

Rei felt like she was floating. She was completely weightless, a soothing tingle racing through her body. The headache disappeared and the dizzy spell melted away. Hell, was there any other feeling in the world besides what she felt now? If there was, it couldn't possibly compare.

Actually, there was only one feeling that could compare. The feel of Minako's lips on hers.

But that was different. Hm... so very different.

Kissing the blond was like drinking 50 cups of coffee in a row. Her veins would course with energy, like was being charged by a source of raw power. Her skin tingled with excitement like she'd never felt before. When kissing, Rei was ready to take on anything and anyone. Not one but Minako could give her that feeling.

But this, it was the complete opposite. It was soothing and relaxing. Her mind stopped racing at the speed of light, slowing down at the lightest touch. She felt like there was no reason to be so charged, to be on her guard or really to do anything at all. She just wanted to simply be and let go of everything.

The roaring flame within died down, leaving behind warm, glowing embers.

She was very aware of Hotaru's touch yet at the same time, not. Rei knew it was because of this touch that she felt this way: it brought peace and tranquility to the busy world she lived in. And for that, she was thankful.

Hotaru's eyes softened when she realized Rei had fallen asleep. So beautiful. Of course, she had yet to stop touching Rei's face. Hell, seeing her peaceful and angelic expression made her want the fiery girl even more. _This_ was why she kept far away before. Once she was able to touch, she would never be able to pull away.

But since Rei was asleep...

Hotaru's fingers traced the curve of Rei's nose. But this time, she didn't fall back into the routine of tracing her cheeks and then jaw.

She allowed herself to run her fingers over the lips she so craved. Full, curvy, pouty lips that were sculpted perfection. The contact sent shivers down her spine. Soft as rose petals and just as deep in color. Those lips alone should have been enough to win Rei the title of 'Goddess of Love.' Let's not forget her many conquests, both men and women.

But then again, Rei Hino wouldn't be Rei Hino if she were the Goddess of Love. That would make her too gentle and tame. Not that Minako Aino was tame, not at all. But Rei was like a roaring fire, powerful and in your face. That's one of the reasons Hotaru liked her, actually.

Because she was so unlike herself. While she was quiet, Rei was loud. While she kept everything in, Rei spoke her mind, letting people know exactly what she was thinking. While it took a lot to anger Hotaru, the miko would be set off by a single wrong look or word. And when Hotaru did become angry, it is shown in a calm but deadly manner. Rei's anger was flat out explosive. True both their wraths were dangerous, but Rei forgave easily. Hotaru held onto everything, letting it eat her away slowly.

That's why she was who she was. After a few years of suppressing and keeping everything in, it was starting to take its toll on her. That was the reason why she admired Rei. Though cautious, the miko gave her trust openly and wholly to those who deserved it. She shared her burdens, though always careful of how much people should know to protect them.

Ami once said that the easiest way to self-destruction was to keep everything in. Anyone ever hear of implosion?

'**You have someone to take care of, don't think about this now.'**

Taking one last look at Rei, Hotaru stood and walked to the couch.


	3. When You Act Like A Child

Fallen From Grace

Rei sat up and groaned, holding her head. The room was much brighter than she was used to. But then again, the shades tended to be shut, curtains drawn and someone lying next to her in bed. None of that was true this morning.

"You're up."

Lavender eyes turned to the girl in the doorway. Hotaru offered a small smile, which was returned. But Rei's brain was reeling, did she and the younger girl...

"I found this on the coffee table."

The college student had crossed the distance between them and offered her a slip of paper. The miko's brows furrowed in curiosity and she took it from the outstretched hand. Seconds later, she shrugged and reached over to the nightstand. When she opened a drawer, Hotaru saw the slip added to a large collection within, all bits of paper and business cards.

"So, the drawer does exist," the senshi stated in amusement as she sat down on the sofa, "It appears that I owe Mina-san $20."

Hotaru could practically see the wheels in Rei's head turning. She smirked slightly, crossing her legs and leaning back, violet eyes continuing to study the woman in bed.

"Why do you owe her $20?"

The smirk turned into a full-blown grin. "We were betting on whether or not the drawer of phone numbers and names existed."

Rei's mouth parted as her eyes widened with disbelief. Hotaru stood, walking over to the balcony doors. She pushed them open, turning slightly to focus her eyes on her secret love.

"I figured you'd be the organized type and have a whole set of little black books. But then again, Minako does know more about you than I do."

The senshi of fire was silent. Her nighttime habits were no secret, but no one ever talked to her about it. Well, except maybe Minako, though a single glare would usual change that.

"Hm… you must be hungry. What would you like to eat? Keep in mind, your fridge is emptier than the Sahara Desert."

Rei blushed and smiled sheepishly.

"I hope you managed to find something to eat."

Hotaru shrugged and continued her observation of the world outside.

"I found enough to keep me from starving. If I'd been Usagi, however, then you'd have had a major problem."

Rei chuckled softly; the young woman leaning against the balcony doors was a refreshing change from Minako and Usagi, whom she expected to see. After all, they were the "nurses" of the group. She also expected to see Ami and Makoto before seeing one of the Outers, especially this particular senshi.

"Don't take this the wrong way, but why are you here? Where's everyone else?"

"Were you expecting someone else? A blonde?"

Hotaru wanted to take back her words as soon as they left her mouth. Damn it, why did she have to bring that up?

The miko felt a sharp pain in her chest, both from the remainder and the harsh tone. Yes, she was still dreaming, still holding onto that hope.

"Rei," Hotaru whispered, walking over to the woman. She sat down and squeezed the older woman's hand and to her relief, the miko did not pull away.

"I'm sorry, that was wrong of me."

No response. Rei sat there, her eyes focused on her lap while her hair created a raven curtain around her face.

"It's very honorable that you're still holding onto the love you have for them. But there's no place for honor in love."

Hotaru's hand cupped the other woman's cheek. Lavender eyes met her friend's violet, pleading ones. The miko smiled softly, though a bit bitterly.

"All's fair in love and war."

The college student smiled in return. She then blushed, noticing her actions. Before the businesswoman could react, Hotaru was off the bed and already at the door.

"But as for your question," the violet-eyed girl said with a blush, thanking the gods that Rei couldn't see her face, "they all had plans this weekend and-"

"And you got stuck with me. I'm fine, Hotaru, you don't have to-"

"Actually, I was planning to ask you if I could sleep over this weekend anyway. Setsuna-mama's busy and Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama are on vacation. So, it's perfect."

Hotaru didn't wait to hear a response. She was afraid Rei would be able to tell she was lying.

* * *

Rei eyed the bowl before her cautiously.

"Well?"

Lavender eyes remained on the soup, chicken noodle to be exact. She felt Hotaru's impatient gaze burn a hole through her head.

"Is it edible?"

"What do you mean is it 'edible'?"

If not for the murderous gleam in Hotaru's violet eyes, Rei would've laughed at the angry and indignant expression on the younger woman's face. She just looked so cute with her cheeks flushed and her hands on her hips.

"Well, I mean, ChibiUsa is your best friend-"

"And you think some of her and her mother's culinary skills, or lack there of, rubbed off on me."

If possible, Hotaru looked more dangerous when calm than when she looked angry. Wait, very possible. Her voice was flat and all the light in her eyes was gone. Alas, Rei and her big mouth! She looked like a dangerous lion ready to pounce and eat her alive.

"Well, when people hang out-"

"Ami hangs out with Minako and the blue-haired genius isn't exactly becoming the blonde."

"Minako's different."

There was silence once again as Hotaru felt the anger and jealousy build inside her. Of course, Minako's Minako. How could she compare with the blonde? Hell, she dumped Rei and the miko still loved her so. What was up with the world, anyway?

"Whatever. Eat it if you want, but either way, get some sleep."

This was turning out to be the weekend from hell. So far, Rei's only been conscious for a total of half an hour and already Minako's come up twice. They've also just had a fight of sorts. Hotaru's heart was beating like a jackhammer every time she was close to the miko and yet the woman can still only think of the girl that dumped her. Wonderful.

How was she going to survive at _least_ another day? Maybe she can call one of the senshi and say she has to do homework or somethi-

The doorbell snapped her from her thoughts. Hope soared in her heart as she practically ran to the door. _Please_ let it be one of the girls. PLEASE!

She was about ready to burst with hope when she saw Michiru and Haruka standing outside, smiling. The tall blonde smiled and ruffled Hotaru's hair affectionately.

"Hey, how's it going?"

Before Hotaru invited them in, her father entered, whistling a happy little tune. Michiru sighed, but said nothing. Scolding her lover was like scolding a 5-year-old: in one ear and out the other.

"How is everything going, honey?"

The violet-eyed woman turned around, ready to explain everything to her Michiru-mama. Her expression was one of complete distress and her mother's face darkened.

"Bad. This isn't going well. First it was great, you know, with her being unconscious and I didn't have to do anything. And then she wakes up last night, I was so relieved, completely-"

"She's up? Great, Michi, let's go say 'hi.'"

Haruka walked into Rei's room as Michiru and Hotaru stared at her disappearing back. Seconds later, they both rushed in after her. The Princess of Neptune could tell Hotaru was ready to explode.

"Hey, Rei!"

The miko looked up just as Haruka enveloped her in a bear hug. Hotaru shifted and looked at Michiru hesitantly.

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yes, Michiru, thank you."

"We should be thanking you," the racer said smiling. "You saved Hotaru's life. We're in your debt."

Hotaru opened her mouth to speak but was cut off when her father turned and pinched her cheeks. The blonde continued, ignoring the glares of her daughter and lover.

"And now we're asking you to let her sleep over while we're out of town. We're feeling pretty guilty right now. Hotaru explained everything, right? I mean, she could stay alone, but-"

"No, it's fine. I'd love for her to stay."

Hotaru stared at Michiru, looking for answers. Her guardian shrugged and smiled apologetically.

"You're too predictable," Michiru whispered while Haruka and Rei spoke. "Besides, we didn't expect anything bad to happen."

Hotaru groaned and collapsed on the couch. Damn her and her transparent thoughts.

"Is something wrong?"

Violet eyes opened to find Rei's worried gaze on her. She sat up, wishing she could wipe that cocky look off her father's face.

"Um... I just remembered I don't have any clothes or my homework."

Rei frowned, her eyes darkening just a bit. Hotaru sighed inwardly, glad she found an excuse to leave. Now, all she had to do was-

"Don't worry about that."

Hotaru felt her stomach flop when Haruka spoke. Slowly, her violet eyes turned towards the blonde she hated with a passion at that moment. The woman was either very evil, thick or both. But either way, she smiled despite the dangerous glare on her daughter's face.

"We brought everything for you."

The tallest senshi pointed to the small duffle and black book bag by the door of Rei's bedroom. How did she miss it when they came in?

"Hm... Thanks... Haruka-papa."

Michiru shook her head as her lover continued to ignore their child's glare. Haruka, however, looked at her wrist.

"Well, we should get going now. Don't want to be late."

The racer hugged Rei and then Hotaru before hurrying out of the room. Her lover did the same, though she paused for a second to speak to the beautiful young woman she'd raised.

"We're- _I'm_ sorry, sweetie."

The girl nodded, a pout still on her lips as she and her mother walked towards the living room. Dread filled her when Michiru started slipping her hand out of hers.

"We'll show ourselves out," Haruka yelled, shoving Hotaru back into Rei's room. "Oh, Rei-chan, did Hotaru make that soup? Her cooking's great."

Purple eyes met when they heard the front door slam. They could swear they heard Michiru yelling at Haruka. The usually calm girl shook her head. Ah, her loving parents, how she was going to enjoy killing them... slowly. She idly wondered if either Rei or Haruka noticed the blonde wasn't wearing a watch.

* * *

The miko looked down at her soup. She hadn't expected: A) for Hotaru to cook for her, B) To get into a strange conversation about how many phone numbers she's collected over the years, C) for Haruka and Michiru show up, nor did she expect D) being asked if Hotaru could stay over for a while. Oh yeah, she sure as hell didn't think Minako was going to come up over and over again.

Speaking of which, she was surprised that after the mentions of the blonde, Hotaru put up her mask of indifference. The college student got along with the blonde senshi just fine. Perhaps she was disgusted by Rei.

After all, why hold onto a love that will never be?

It was then Rei noticed Hotaru picking up the bowl of soup before her. She felt more than a bit guilty at that point for insulting the girl's cooking.

"Leave it," she murmured softly, touching her friend's hand.

"I thought you didn't think it safe."

Hotaru tried very hard to ignore the tingle at the site of contact while trying to keep her voice flat. But damn, was it hard.

"I'm sorry. I'm just a bit cautious of other people's cooking. But since Haruka-"

Hotaru snorted softly, cutting her off. "Haruka-papa would eat anything, quite honestly. She has Usagi's stomach."

Rei laughed softly, the sound sending shivers down her companion's spine. She fought to stay calm outwardly, though the battle was becoming more and more difficult with each passing second by the miko's side.

"What is it with blondes and bottomless pits for stomachs?"

Hotaru glanced at the sick woman. Was she trying to offer an invitation of peace and ease the tension?

Hopefully, yes, since the whole thing with Minako created an uncomfortable feeling between them.

"It's in the genes."

Rei smiled. Yes, no more weird tension in the air!

"Now, for your soup."

Hotaru watched as the woman she was supposed to nurse dipped the spoon into the soup. Slowly, she brought it to her ruby lips, parting them slightly to sip her cooking. The miko closed her eyes, her tongue darting out to lick her smiling lips.

"This is good."

Violet eyes blinked rapidly as the younger girl nodded numbly. Opening her mouth at that point would probably cause her to spill her feelings to the miko. But, oh god, the sight of Rei sipping soup drove her off the edge! How did she manage to look so sexy while eating!

"D-do you mind if I take a shower?"

"No, of course not, go ahead."

"Thanks."

Hotaru walked out of the room as quickly as possible without running. How was she supposed to last _days_ with Rei?

* * *

The miko continued drinking the soup after the cook disappeared to take a shower. At first, she thought Haruka had complimented Hotaru's cooking just to be a good parent. The blonde really was quite protective and fond of her daughter. But really, it was quite good. She'd make an excellent chef one day.

One day. Not now. The girl was still in her 2nd year of college. She passed high school with flying colors, in the top five of her class, actually. Having once lived half way through high school in her prior life and having Setsuna and Ami as personal tutors didn't hurt. She and Ami were the only ones left in school, but that's since the Princess of Mercury was pursuing a career as a doctor.

What would Hotaru do after college, anyhow? The miko never really asked her before. She was bright, brilliant even. However, her social skills were still under-developed for the most part and her shy personality didn't help either. Maybe Hotaru could be a businesswoman; she had the perfect poker face.

Crystal Tokyo was more than a good ten years away. Ten years. What would _she_ do until then?

It's been made clear by everyone that they didn't like her sleeping around. Who would? Actually, Usagi cried her eyes out when she confronted the miko about it, after hearing it from a friend. But Rei could neither promise to stop nor to even try. She was better than before though. Daily trips to the club have been reduced to an occasional trip or, maybe four times a week. One-night stands have dropped from six a week to two.

Everyone was disappointed in her, though they didn't say it out loud. They didn't have to. She was a senshi, protector of the Queen and the entire world. When Crystal Tokyo eventually forms, she would have to be a role model for the entire world. She was anything but a role model right now.

Rei groaned and buried her face in her hands. Not again. The self-doubt and self-disgust threatened to swallow her whole, as it did every so often. Placing the bowl on the nightstand, she headed for the kitchen for a beer.

Suddenly, the sound of water running in the bathroom reached her ears. Right, Hotaru was here. Rei bit her lip. No, she couldn't drink right now. She already let down all the other girls one way or another; she couldn't let the youngest senshi down as well. So far, she was the only one she hasn't screwed up with. She deserved to see a collected Rei Hino, not a broken and self-destructive woman.

Quietly, the miko made her way back to bed. Lavender eyes began to droop. The realization that Hotaru had put medicine barely hit Rei before she fell asleep.

* * *

In 1085, the Arabs lost Toledo to the Christians and then in 1086, the invaded.

Who the hell cared about Spanish History! They were in Japan for god's sakes! The only reason she took the damn class was because Haruka played a trick on her and signed her up. By the time she realized she was taking Spanish History instead of Asian Literature, it had been too late to change. So now, she was stuck with this class until next semester. The blonde sure paid for it, though.

Hotaru groaned for what must have been the hundredth time and put her head down on the table. Five o'clock in the afternoon already, the day sure has _flown_ by. Yeah, right.

When she came out of the shower, Rei was sleeping like a baby. She took this chance to go out and buy some groceries since the idea of starving to death was rather unappealing. Half an hour became two hours and she got back at noon. Then, for the past five hours, it's been nothing but homework. Ugh.

It was then she noticed Rei's laptop sitting on the table. Maybe she could...

No. Using someone else's computer without permission was wrong. How many times has she been taught that in computer class?

But, she wasn't going to do anything or read any documents. She just wanted to check her mail.

Despite the nagging feeling she had, Hotaru turned on Rei's laptop. The screen came to life and once again, she was thankful Ami equipped their computers with the best programs.

Rei yawned as her eyes opened. She's slept more in the past 24 hours than she usually did in a week. The headache wasn't as bad as before and her throat was still a bit sore, but other than that, she was feeling fine. A quick sweep for her apartment for Hotaru's aura located the girl in her study.

The miko slipped out of bed, wondering why the younger girl felt so unguarded. Even with the other girls, Hotaru's always kept a close eye on the emotions and feelings she was giving off in her aura. So, why was she so at ease now?

Walking into her home office, Rei at once noticed the mess on the desk and on the floor. Textbooks, notebooks and papers cluttered the usually neat area. The miko smiled, Hotaru was doing homework, eh?

Lavender eyes fell on the girl and widened at the sight of her laptop. Rei panicked. No, Hotaru couldn't be reading her files. Anger soon replaced fear as she stormed to the desk.

"Hotaru."

Violet eyes broke away from the screen and met a sea of flaming lavender. A squeak was the slightly taller woman's only response as Hotaru desperately tried to close whatever it was she was staring at.

"What are you doing on my laptop?"

"Checking my email."

Hotaru was careful to keep all her guilt out of her eyes. If it were anyone else, they would have believed her. But, Rei wasn't 'everyone else.'

The raven-haired senshi grabbed the laptop and turned it to face her, ignoring the rather loud protests. Dread filled the lavender-eyed woman at the thought of which document she'd see open.

_Welcome to Neopets! SaturnzAngel was hungry, now she's satiated!_

Relief and shock wiped all thoughts from the fire senshi's mind. She openly gawked at the screen. Sure enough, a cute little yellow monkey was staring back at her.

"Neopets?"

Hotaru felt her cheeks heat up.

"Y-yeah?"

"Neopets?"

Violet eyes glared at the speechless woman. The college student crossed her arms and pouted.

"All right, so you know my secret. I'm obsessed with Neopets, big deal."

"Neopets?"

"Will you stop that already!"

Rei blinked at the angry girl. Wow. Hotaru Tomoe liked Neopets. Who would have thought? For the second time that day, the miko felt completely guilty. She shouldn't have even _thought_ her friend would read her private files, much less act on the suspicion. They all knew better. And she should know better than to suspect them.

"Rei?"

The miko refocused on the girl sitting in her large chair. Despite the annoyed expression on her face, the concern was clear.

"Sorry, Hotaru. How about I cook you dinner?"

The look of concern on the shorthaired girl's face worsened. She stood, marching to the other side of the desk and turned Rei around. Without another world, she pushed the confused woman out of the study and toward her bedroom.

"Oh, no you don't. You shouldn't even be out of bed!"

Rei giggled softly, letting the shorter girl push her into bed and tuck her in.

"What would _you_ like to have for dinner?"

The miko paled slightly at the thought of food.

"All right, porridge it is."

"No, no porridge!"

Hotaru placed a hand on Rei's forehead, frowning just a bit.

"You don't feel that hot anymore. But, just to be on the safe side, no solid foods for you just yet."

The younger woman was sitting on her love's bed, the miko glaring at her while pouting like a child. The shorter girl just smiled and gave the other woman a pat on the head.

"Now, be good while I go make porridge."

"Yes, mother."

Hotaru glared softly but then smiled sweetly. A little too sweetly.

"Good baby."

Rei's eyes widened as the shorter girl pinched her cheeks… hard.

"Hotaru Tomoe!"

Too late. The college student had already run out of the room. The long-haired woman smiled despite herself. When was the last time she joked like that with anyone? Especially with Hotaru Tomoe?

* * *

"Open up so the airplane can get through."

"Hotaru Tomoe, I'm going to-"

The miko was silenced when a spoonful of porridge was shoved into her mouth. Her eyes blinked before glaring at the smiling girl sitting on her bed. She swallowed slowly.

"You're so dead-"

Another spoonful was shoved into her open mouth.

"Hota-"

And another.

"I'm going to-"

Hotaru smirked as she shoved the fourth spoonful of porridge into Rei's mouth. Well, she would've if the annoyed woman hadn't grabbed her wrist and stopped her. The girl blinked as the spoon was shoved into her own mouth.

"Rei!"

"You started it!"

Hotaru glared again. She'd been doing that a lot lately.

"You're such a child."

"You're younger than me."

"You're more immature."

"You're shorter."

The two stopped and started laughing. Oh god, this was what they're reduced to now?

"I'm sorry."

Hotaru shook her head. "No, I am."

"I am."

"No, me."

They paused again and burst into giggles.

"That was fun."

Rei nodded and took the porridge from Hotaru's hand. The other senshi smiled as the sick woman started feeding herself. Well, maybe she wasn't completely happy. Part of her still wanted to feed the stubborn senshi.

"Good to know you're fine."

Rei smiled and winked. "With your help."

The commented caused Hotaru to blush. It soon faded upon inspecting the patient's slightly flushed face.

"I was so worried."

The spoon paused in its journey. Hotaru's eyes clouded over to guilt as she shut down her logical side, which protested furiously to what was coming out of her mouth.

"I was so panicked when I saw you were frozen solid. I went berserk."

"The youma didn't last for long?"

Hotaru shook her head. "No, it was dusted pretty quickly."

"I wish I was there to see the whole fight."

"Nah, you would've found it to be too slow."

Rei raised a brow in question. "Really? Why do you say that?"

The younger girl shrugged and placed her feet up on the bed, wrapping her arms around her drawn legs. Violet eyes gazed evenly at the sick woman.

"You're quick-tempered, and as the senshi of fire you're supposed to be. Quick to anger, quick to forgive. Your temper is as hot as the element you control and your fuse is plenty short."

Long purple hair brushed against Rei's shoulders as she cocked her head to one side. "So?"

"So, you prefer to kill immediately, getting rid of the threat as quickly as possible."

"Don't you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Hotaru looked away from her fellow protector. "I like to make it suffer for the pain and damage it's caused. I want it to know the fear it caused, the feel fear. I want to avenge those it hurt."

This confession understandably shocked Rei. She suddenly understood why Saturn always fought with the youma for a pretty long time, usually toying with it. The spark of delight in her eyes had always been mistaken for disgust. But now, she knew differently.

Her thoughts stopped when Hotaru rose from the bed, violet eyes refusing to meet hers.

"I'm not like you guys. You kill to protect and you hate the idea of taking a life, as evil and undeserving as it might be. I kill for revenge. I feel a tingle go down my spine when I land the killing blow. After all, what good is the Senshi of Death and Destruction if she hates the idea of killing?"

"And what about Rebirth?"

Hotaru paused at the doorway, surprised by Rei's question. Rebirth, an aspect of her powers that she often forgot. A bitter smile played on her lips as her eyes darkened to a murky black.

"Without Death, there is no Rebirth."


	4. A Matter of Opinion

Fallen From Grace

Rei sat on her bed, eyes taking in the movement of the people on the TV screen.

Taking in but not processing.

Hotaru's words from earlier that evening plagued her even now. The girl she has come to know, love and respect was not who she thought she was. No, that's not quite right. She's Hotaru, and she's always been Hotaru. Difference was, Rei now knew that there was far more to her than she'd thought.

All the girls hoped that Hotaru's second childhood would dim the pains from her first life, but it would appear that they were mistaken. They knew Hotaru would always be quiet and shy, but perhaps her perceptive of her duty and her purpose would change.

It hurt to see Hotaru grow and slowly revert back into her former self: a girl who lived in a world of darkness and isolation.

Okay, so she was exaggerating. She was a lot better than before. She had some friends at school, was a bit more active in sports and in clubs and has come to love the arts. Great improvement, actually.

It was just that she was a great actress.

Or did Rei just not notice?

'Without Death, there is no Rebirth.'

Rei squeezed her eyes shut. No, Hotaru had been reborn to give her a second chance at life. A second chance to thrive.

But her past wouldn't let her.

The miko checked the clock: one in the morning. Hotaru would be asleep by now, or so she hoped. She was much too tired to hit the clubs now. Besides, the younger girl would sense her leave and kick her sick ass to Mars.

"But something to drink might help."

The miko quietly slipped out of bed and headed for the kitchen. She paused at the guest bedroom. Good, it was completely silent, Hotaru must be sleeping.

Rei continued her journey. Should she get a beer or something with more of a punch?

'Without Death, there is no Rebirth.'

Vodka it is, easy decision. She opened the door of the cabinet beside the refrigerator, retrieving a bottle and a shot glass. Rei soon entered the living room and situated herself by the fireplace, in front of the coffee table.

She was 25 this year. Eleven years since she discovered the existence of monsters trying to take over the world. Six years since she graduated from high school. Two years since she graduated from college and a month since she got her Masters degree in business. Now, she was working for a new but quickly rising company. Actually, she was one of the owners, but that didn't matter too much.

Where was her love life? Where was her _life,_ period?

She wakes up, goes to work, comes home, goes to a nightclub, have sex and then the routine starts all over again. Some people would have no problem with it. Well, she did. At least, now after five years she did.

Rei remembered when she used to care more about getting together with the others and being there for people who needed her than going to a bar. She used to care about life. Now?

She was a shadow of who she once was. No, she wasn't even a shadow; she was a completely different person.

At the thought of her pathetic existence, she downed her first shot of vodka for the night.

Alcohol. Five years ago she barely touched the stuff. Now it was as much a part of her as being a miko was.

Anyway, back to the failure she called a life.

Rei Hino used to love, wholly and completely. Hell, she's loved two people with all her heart. Neither of them worked out so she closed herself off from the world. Why want love when she could have sex?

A bitter smile touched her lips as she downed another glass. Sex. Her drive, her fuel. Men and women came and went. Has she ever been with anyone more than once? Aside from Minako?

Probably. Even with Tokyo being as large as it was, there were only so many people.

She reached for the shot glass again. Vodka, some of the best stuff in the world, as disgusting as it was.

The glass was taken from her hand. Lavender eyes looked up to discover a certain violet-eyed girl polishing her glass. She was both openly shocked and amazed. Hotaru placed the glass back on the table.

"I figured I'd stick to the weak stuff, since it is your house, after all. But since you've opened a bottle, mind if I join you?"

Rei blinked a few times, confused. It was then she noticed the beer bottle hanging limply from Hotaru's left hand.

"Go get another shot glass."

Hotaru placed one on the coffee table with her right hand. The miko arched a brow in question, but did not speak. The other girl pulled over a chair and sat down.

"So, why are you up?"

Rei shrugged and poured her temporary nurse a glass of her favorite colorless liquid. She didn't even bother commenting about how the girl was too young to drink legally. But then again, they were in the privacy of her home, weren't they?

"Why are _you_ up?"

Hotaru cradled the beer bottle in her hands while Rei eyed her carefully. Violet eyes looked up with a mischievous twinkle.

"Would you believe inner turmoil?"

"From you," Rei stated dryly, "yes."

Her companion frowned slightly but remained silent. Rei understood her silent question and smirked.

"Me? I just have too much on my mind."

Complete silence. Hotaru picked up the shot glass and stared at the colorless liquid inside with interest.

"Any of them have something to do with a blonde?"

Rei bit her lip, willing herself not to snap back. She couldn't let Hotaru know the comment struck her hard. The girl clearly said it to get a reaction out of her. No way was she going to give Hotaru the satisfaction.

"Which blonde?"

Hotaru frowned once more. Mocking herself now, eh? No matter, she could play the game just as well, if not better.

"It doesn't matter which one, I didn't specify. Besides, whoever it is, still falls under the 'yes' category. So, either way, I'm right."

Rei's eyes closed, trying to hold in her annoyance. What did Hotaru want anyway?

"You'd be both right _and_ wrong."

Dancing around the subject? Not like Rei Hino at all. Hotaru brought the beer bottle to her lips and sipped. She studied the woman before her, the flames from the fireplace highlighting the streaks of purple in the miko's hair. Captivating.

"How can that be?"

Gee, the girl was an expert at sounding casual. But Rei already knew that. Question was, how badly did her companion want to know?

'**To think,'**Rei thought dryly while downing another glass,**'Haruka raised her. The blonde knows no tact. Should I be thankful Hotaru didn't pick that up from her?'**

To say the younger woman was annoyed was an understatement. She put down the beer and reached for the shot glass.

Rei found the tense situation strangely comforting. It felt good to be the one in control of a conversation of wits. Not to mention the fact that the other was a master of understatements and keeping her cool.

Besides, there was something beautiful about the way Hotaru downed her vodka. The way her hair brushed against her cheek, black against the smoothest ivory. Ah, she has finally ruffled and untouchable.

"You know what, Rei? You're full of shit. That was complete bullshit."

The fire senshi quirked her lips upwards in a smile. Yes, she was in control this time. The power she held over Hotaru was intoxicating. It almost seemed wrong to hold any power against the quiet and indifferent girl, but the rush she got from it was indescribable.

'**She's glaring at me,'** Rei thought, staring into the narrowed violet eyes with a hint of amusement. **'Not out of annoyance or embarrassment but out of pure anger and frustration.'**

She vaguely registered that that was not a good sign at all. The girl sitting across from her was rarely frustrated and never angry. The miko was treading on dangerous ground. And she loved it.

"It's true."

Hotaru decided against speaking and just stared at Rei. If her words didn't work, her gaze always managed to unnerve a person.

Rei smiled smugly and relaxed in her chair. Hotaru was resorting to her ultimate weapon, her eyes. No one can resist those intense violet orbs. She could find the deepest and darkest part of a person's soul.

After a few minutes, the short-haired woman realized Rei wasn't going to be the first to speak. With a defeated sigh, though glare still in place, she asked how Rei could give such an answer. The smirk on the miko's face almost caused her to pounce on the woman and strangle her. But, she wouldn't give Rei _that_ much satisfaction.

"I'd have to say yes, since there isn't a moment when I'm not thinking of one of them."

Hotaru clucked her tongue at the confession and picked up the vodka bottle, pouring herself a glass. After the flustered girl downed the alcohol, Rei continued.

"But I'd have to say no since they're not the main things running through my mind and keeping me up."

The younger woman shifted and reached for her beer bottle. She paused and eyed the empty shot glass. Deciding against both, she leaned back in her chair.

Rei could read her actions. Was she going to stuck with the safe path and not ask, or drink the vodka and go on a limb by asking? Hotaru was clearly dying to know. But the unknown scared her, and she was highly cautious of it. Outwardly, she was always indifferent. But that was how she did everything, staying safe and never venturing too far into the unpredictable. Hotaru always wanted to be in a place where she had control.

Rei almost felt guilty for putting the girl through the inner battle that was made clear by the dark look in her eyes. It really _was_ hard for Hotaru to venture out of her safety zone.

"What," the college student whispered, allowing her uncertainty to leak into her voice, "is the main thing you're thinking about then?"

Rei looked up, her expression grim. Hotaru almost shuddered, but didn't look away.

"You."

Lavender clashed with violet as the art-lover gaped at Rei's answer. Never, in a million, no, a _billion_ years did she expect that! Rei was thinking about her?

"And about what you said this afternoon."

Her heart dropped. Wasn't it funny how a person can go from so high to so low in a few seconds? Rei only thought of the brief moment when her inner thoughts and cynicism surfaced. Why think positively of her? No one thought anything well of her. She was only worth their time if she showed her uglier side.

Rei saw the emotions tumbling inside Hotaru's eyes, mixing into a chaotic mess. What else did she expect? Hotaru Tomoe would never think anyone's been thinking of her. The miko's heart sank. No. That much was clear from the anger, disappointment and self-loathing in those violet eyes.

No one's ever given her anything but fear and disgust in her past life. No one took the time to know her. But they destroyed her, crushing her slowly from the inside out.

Even now, with everyone's love, Hotaru still doubted herself. She lived just like before. She felt just like before. And not for the first time, Rei wanted to kill everyone that hurt, including herself.

"Hotaru?"

The girl only shrank away from the touch when the woman placed her hand on her shoulder. God, how could she even bear to touch her?

The miko cursed herself into the next century. Now look at what she's done. Yeah, that's it, destroy the poor girl even more. You've been showing her a great time so far. She'll be dying to sleep over again.

"Hotaru-"

"I'm sorry."

Rei stilled at the sound of the quiet whisper.

"I didn't mean to say those things."

"It's-"

"I was caught up in the moment."

Hotaru stepped away from the woman she loved. The miko would've thrown herself out the window, if not for the desire to the comfort her friend.

"I-I thought I could tell you."

Did she say window? Let's try flying to New York, going to the Empire State Building and throwing herself off of that. No, she'd probably die of shock before she hit the ground. What the hell did she do?

"I've never been able to tell anyone."

Rei moved over and wrapped an arm around Hotaru's shoulders. To her relief, she didn't pull away this time.

"I can't tell Haruka-papa, Michiru-mama or Setsuna-mama. They'd blame themselves for not showing me a better life. That's it, isn't it? You think that I think this way because of my past life?"

Rei swallowed, hard. Was she wrong? Even when she was trying to help she does something wrong. Argh.

"It is partially that, I suppose. But this life has been much better. I had a much better childhood and friends, friends that I love and adore. But no matter how happy I may be or how much I have, that doesn't change the fact that I **am** the Goddess of Death and Destruction. Nothing will ever change that. It is my duty, my purpose, my curse. I never _ever_ want to sit down with Usagi and talk to her about it. She'd blame herself, even though it's not her fault that I'm Saturn. It's my destiny."

Yes, that did sound like the Princess. Rei found it to be one of the most admirable traits about her.

'**Focus,'** the miko screamed at herself within the confines of her mind. **'This isn't time to think about how great Usagi is. This is Hotaru's time.'**

"I can't tell Makoto. She'd panic and get really worried. That and bake me cookies until I swear off all treats. Ami's out of the question too. She'd get all logical on me. I don't need a psychiatrist. And then there's Minako..."

Rei didn't have to hear why Hotaru would never tell the blonde. The woman would be concerned, of course. She cared for Hotaru, like she cared for all the girls. But she is the leader of the Princess' Inner court and the leader of the entire court, for the most part. And, as the leader, it was unacceptable that a senshi would rather avenge those hurt than eliminate a threat to their charge as soon as possible. They all know Hotaru loved Usagi, but on the battlefield, only action mattered.

"Hotaru-"

"But you, you're different."

Something in the miko stirred at the statement. She was different. But was she? She was just a person that's lost her way, lost her purpose for believing.

"I feel like I can tell you anything."

Hotaru unconsciously snuggled closer to her secret love. All right, the miko was only wearing a short silk robe, but she just had to deal with it and keep her mind out of the gutter. If it were under normal circumstances, the college student would never allow herself to get this close to Rei. But nothing about this was normal. Right now, she needed warmth. And the miko was always very warm, she was the scout of fire after all.

The smile on the younger girl's face grew when Rei's arm around her shoulders tightened.

"Sure, sometimes you're a bit judgmental. You're also really stuck to your own ways, sometimes…"

Rei shifted slightly. The girl just hit two of her worse attributes.

"But you still care, no matter what you say. If you didn't understand and connect with people on a level, you wouldn't be a very good miko now would you?"

Hotaru laughed quietly at that. The other woman, however, did not appear at all amused.

'**Well,'**she thought dryly.**'You tried.'**

"I'm sorry if my statement from before bothers you."

Rei suddenly found herself without a small and seemingly fragile body against her. She missed the sensation, but didn't have time to dwell on it since Hotaru was now walking away from her.

"Maybe I should go..."

When there was no response, the confused young woman raced out of the room. Of course, did she expect Rei to answer? Did she expect her to tell her to stay?

The miko cursed herself and sped after her babysitter. She was such a moron sometimes.

"Hotaru."

The college student didn't respond and continued stuffing books into her duffle at high speed. Rei reached over and touched her shoulder. The book in the quiet senshi's hand stilled.

"Hotaru."

No answer. Rei walked over and wrapped her arms around the small body. She was completely still.

"I didn't say leave."

'**You didn't say stay either.'**

"I was... shocked. Yes, most definitely shocked."

'**Shocked by the real me. Disgusted by the real me.'**

"You certainly don't give a person a lot of time to process things."

'**Time,'** Hotaru thought, staring at her bag. _'_**Even with time the reactions are always the same.'**

"I didn't know what to say-"

"Rei, don't. I know exactly what you'll say. Let me save both of us the time and-"

"How can you know when I don't even know myself?"

Silence. Finally, Hotaru turned around, Rei's arms still wrapped around her. She ignored the warm feeling she was getting.

"They always say the same thing when they see the real me. It's _always_ the same."

Hotaru pulled away from Rei's embrace, eyes glazed over with tears.

"They are _disgusted_ by me. They wonder how anyone like me can exist. I'm a monster, a blood thirsty monster-"

Rei pressed a finger to the moving lips. Her gaze was firm, her own lips pressed into a thin line.

"Don't _ever_ think that about yourself."

Hotaru looked away from the lavender eyes that now stared at her with a blazing fire.

"What am I suppose to think? That I'm a normal, happy girl with a normal past and a normal family? That I have a perfectly normal and dull life? You don't know how many times I wished I did."

The tears threatened to fall, but Hotaru wiped her eyes quickly. A tremor passed through Rei as she watched her friend wrap her arms around herself. The girl didn't deserve this.

"But I don't. And that will never change. No matter how hard I dream, I hope, I pray... I will still be me. I will still be-"

Rei walked over and gathered the shaking girl in her arms once again.

"Someone with a bad past, but parents who love her and who will do anything for her. A smart and caring woman whose friends care for her and love her so very much."

Hotaru kept her head down as Rei slowly turned her around.

'**Don't say these things. Don't make me feel better about myself. Don't make me feel like you care. Don't give me hope that we can be together. Because you will never be mine. You will always just be a friend. Don't hurt me.'**

Rei took Hotaru's face into her hands.

'**She's so small.'**

The miko closed her eyes slowly. The girl's always been so small. She always seemed to be so fragile and breakable. Now, the usually deceiving appearance was true.

"Hotaru."

Violet eyes squeezed shut. Why can't Rei just leave her be?

"Ru-chan..."

Rei's soft whisper almost sent Hotaru off the edge. That voice... so caring, so soft... so loving.

"My little Firefly..."

Violet eyes slowly opened. That's what Rei used to call her, before they started drifting apart. She was always 'her little Firefly' and none of the other girls dared call her 'theirs.' It was one of those unspoken things really. Though, Rei did glare at Haruka once when the blonde called Hotaru 'her' Firefly.

"I'm not your little Firefly anymore. At least, not the one you know."

Rei cupped 'her little Firefly's' cheek and met her sad eyes. She only smiled.

"Then which one am I talking to?"

Hotaru could almost close her eyes and pretend they were back in the old days. The days when everyone forgot about youma and evil. The days when she was just a teenager with a weird but very loving family. The days when she didn't love the woman before her with a passion.

"The one who gave up a long time ago. The one that has learned nothing in her life ever goes the way she plans. The one that knows she has only one purpose in life... to protect and to serve."

Rei wondered how she could not have noticed how lost Hotaru's become. She blamed herself for not looking carefully enough. She's been so absorbed in her own problems for the past five years that she forgot about one of her best friends.

Damn the Fates for giving Hotaru such a life. Damn Destiny for making her the Scout of Death and Destruction.

'**And Rebirth.'**

Rei smiled. Ironic, isn't it? She almost forgot the very thing that started this mess.

'**No, not mess. It's another opportunity, another chance to get to know Hotaru. A chance to help her.'**

"I see someone very different."

Hotaru saw herself reflected in Rei's half-closed eyes. The miko looked at her with the tenderest gaze she'd seen from her in years.

"I see a Firefly that's turned into a beautiful young woman. You're so deceiving, you know. Your appearance hides your inner strength..."

Rei tucked a strand of hair behind the hurting woman's ear. The touch was gentle, causing the college student to lean into it unconsciously.

"I see a girl that has discovered a love of photography and writing and is damn good at it. A girl with a not so average family, but one that loves her more than life itself. I see a girl that has survived her past and has become someone much more than anyone predicted. You're..."

Hundreds of words passed through the miko's mind, yet nothing seemed to fit. How can she describe Hotaru?

Her strengths, admirable. Her faults, nonexistent. Her determination, unwavering. Her dedication, moving. Her past, painful. Her progress, indescribable. Her soul...

Hotaru was starting to lose hope. How can anyone think well of her? Rei couldn't even think of anything positive. She thought she couldn't drop any further than where she was before. She was wrong. She was plunging, fast. The pits of despair welcomed her. Nothing worse than listening to the one you love struggle to describe you in a good way.

"You're beautiful."

Rei watched the shock and surprise play out on the young woman's face. She smiled. Finally, she was getting somewhere. And Hotaru looked so adorable with a look of complete disbelief.

"W-wha-what did y-you just s-say?"

Did Rei just call her beautiful? No way. No way in hell. She didn't. Damn, not only was she wallowing in self-pity and despair but she was hallucinating now, too. How can anyone call her beautiful?

"I just said, 'You're beautiful.'"

Hotaru blinked, once, twice. Okay, so, she wasn't hallucinating. But Rei must be delirious. The concussion must have caused more damage than she thought. Yeah, that's the reason. So, she should call Ami immediately.

Hotaru placed a hand on Rei's forehead, forgetting their previous conversation. With her free hand, she picked up the phone. Rei blinked as the girl began dialing a familiar phone number.

"Who are you calling this late?"

A growl of frustration sounded from parted lips. She dialed the number wrong, damn.

"Ami."

The response earned another blink of confusion from the miko.

"Why?"

"Because that hit to your head must've been worse than we all thought. You're not burning up, so I can't blame it on a fever."

"Blame what on the hit to my head?"

Hotaru looked up and held the phone to her ear as a ring came from the other line.

"You're delirious."

"Oh."

Rei understood perfectly. Hotaru just called her delirious-

"Hey!"

The miko grabbed the phone away from the younger girl's hand.

"Hello?"

They both blinked once, then twice. Shit! They accidentally pressed the speakerphone button!

"Oh my god, Ami, I'm so sorry!"

"I didn't mean to call this late!"

"Forgive me!" Rei screamed, the both of them sprawled on top of the couch, screaming into the phone.

"Rei? Hotaru?"

Wait, that wasn't Ami's voice. The young doctor was much quieter, with a soft tone and slight accent. This person had a much deeper and huskier voice. And she sounded pissed off right now.

"MAKOTO!" the two women screamed at the same time. "What are you doing at Ami's house _this_ late!"

A nervous giggle and shuffling came from the other end. Hotaru and Rei looked at each other, eyes wide.

"Honey," came the soft and annoyed voice, "Who the hell is it?"

Did Ami just curse?

"Er... it's Hotaru and Rei."

"Oh. Oh... WHAT!"

More shuffling and a sudden crash, like a body hitting the floor. Hotaru was now laughing hysterically, her hands holding her sides.

"H-hey, Ami! Aren't... aren't y-you supposed to b-be over at Makoto's! Not the other way around!"

By now, the 'delirious' miko was laughing as well.

"Um... hi, you two."

The two dark-haired women could image the dark blush on Ami's cheeks.

"S-sorry for... for disturbing you two!"

"Very funny, Rei. I'm glad you're awake."

From the tone of Makoto's voice, she was anything but happy.

"Rei? How are you feeling? Any headaches or dizziness?"

Hotaru could hear Makoto mumble in the background as Ami fell into her 'doctor' mode. She opened her mouth to speak. After all, she did call for a reason.

"Ami, I think Rei's-"

The woman in question clamped her hand over Hotaru's mouth.

"Rei's what, Hotaru?"

"Nothing, Ami. I'm just fine."

Hotaru pulled Rei's and away from her mouth. "She's delirious."

"Oh?" they could see Ami frown, her brows furrowed. "Why do you say that?"

"Oh, because she called me-"

Hotaru's mouth clamped shut. Because Rei called her beautiful. Ugh, Ami and Makoto are going to kill her.

"Yes? Called you what?"

Hotaru shifted, glaring at Rei's smirk. Ami sounded really concerned, as she should be. The violet-eyed girl searched for an answer.

"Err... Setsuna."

"What!" Rei screamed, ignoring the fact that she was probably waking her neighbors. "I did NOT! You little liar, Tomoe!"

More shuffling and mumbling came over the line as Rei and Hotaru glared at one another.

"You two, it's way too late for this."

Ami sounded like she was barely controlling her annoyance and anger, not that they'd blame her. More mumbling in the background. Hotaru could have sworn she's never heard such colorful words used in that order before.

"I'm sorry, Ami-chan. But you know how Hotaru-_chan_ can get sometimes."

The girl glared at her friend for that comment. They heard some more shuffling and then a giggle. It was Makoto who spoke this time, and Hotaru did NOT like her tone.

"Yes, we all know. But she's only like that when you're involved."

Rei blinked, lost. Hotaru, on the other hand, was seeing red as her cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Maybe Ami will scold Makoto for her.

A giggle came from the other end, and it was not Makoto. Hotaru groaned.

'**Or not.'**

"All right, we're- I'm hanging up now," Ami said, correcting herself quickly.

"Yeah, sorry, Ami. Sorry, Makoto," Hotaru apologized, eyeing the smirk on Rei's face.

"Yup, sorry we are, you two. We'll let you return to your NC-17 activities now."

"REI HI-"

That was all of Makoto's scream that they heard before Rei hung up. The miko and the college student were silent for about half a second before laughter filled the apartment.

The raven-haired woman was still sprawled on the couch, her sides aching. Hotaru was laughing softly on the floor, still in disbelief that they caught Ami and Makoto in the act. Rei suddenly paused and looked at the giggling woman. Feeling an intense gaze on her, the girl turned and raised a brow in question.

"What are you looking at?"

Rei smiled softly and tilted her head to one side.

"It's the first time I've really heard you laugh since you were little. I forgot how beautiful it sounds."

Hotaru looked at the fireplace, hoping the glow would hide her dark blush. Ah, the word that caused everything top start. Ironic that they'd return to it, no?

Meanwhile, the miko tried to imprint the sound into her memory. Hotaru's laugh was soft and breathy, unlike Haruka's throaty laugh and definitely different from Minako and Usagi's insane, almost out of control laughter. Actually, the younger girl's laugh was more like Setsuna's chuckle and Mona Lisa's smile. They were hiding something, something that no one except them knew. Something they will never share with anyone else.

But, at the same time, amazingly, it was surprisingly innocent. It was like ChibiUsa's laugh or a newborn baby's first giggle. So pure, unhampered by the world, allowed to laugh to the fullest.

'**Okay, you're analyzing your friend's laugh and comparing it to other people's. Maybe Hotaru is right, you are delirious.'**

For a split second, Rei considered calling Ami. But both the shy girl AND Makoto will be breathing fire and promising a painful death. Especially when she tells them the cause of her deduction.

'**I analyzed the way Hotaru laughs,'** she imagined herself saying. **'I have determined that it's a mix between secretive and innocent!'**

Yes, the couple would most definitely kill her.

And there she sat, the cause of her insanity, looking so innocent with her legs drawn to her chest, hugging her knees. Her black hair touched her knees as she slouched over, cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Rei's eyes moved down her friend's body. Oh, how well she's developed.

Hotaru, on the other hand, was starting to fidget. Her love's been staring at her for an awfully long time. What exactly did she find so interesting in a girl like her?

"Rei?"

The miko turned her attention back to her companion's face. She prayed there was no guilty blush on her cheeks.

"Yes, Hotaru?"

The girl stood, stretching lazily as she picked up her beer bottle.

"We should be going to sleep."

"Huh? Oh, yeah, you're right."

Rei, completely flustered, stood and gathered the vodka bottle and two shot glasses. As she walked by Hotaru, she paused for a split second. The shorter girl cocked her head in confusion as the miko smiled at her.

"Yes, my little Firefly, you _are_ very beautiful."


	5. The First Temptation

Fallen From Grace

Rei snuggled deeper into her covers.

"Come on, Rei, wake up."

The miko groaned and lazily opened one eye. Spotting her guest, she opened the other.

"What is it?"

"I have something to show you."

Rei groaned again and pulled the covers over her head.

"Go away, I'm sick."

"Funny," Hotaru snorted, "that's not what you told me yesterday."

Another groan. The college student smiled softly and shook the bundle.

"Come on."

The miko growled in frustration as she sat up, half-closed eyes glaring at the disturber of her sleep, the intruder of her peace, the interloper of her silent conversation with Morpheus, the- why was she completely unfazed by the promise of death on her face.

"What time is it?"

"Five forty-eight."

"Oh, hell. You're kidding me," Rei moaned, collapsing on the bed again.

"No, I'm not. Now up!"

No movement what so ever. Hotaru mumbled something before ripping off the covers. Rei simply rolled onto her stomach.

"Rei!"

An incoherent mumble was her response. Hotaru sighed and sat down on the bed.

"Try that again? In a language I can understand this time."

Rei picked her head up and glared.

"I said, 'why do you want me up so early?'"

"Oh. Well, to watch the sunrise with me."

"To watch the sunrise with you."

All Hotaru did was nod. At that point, Rei buried her face into her pillow. Hotaru sighed and got off the bed, ready to leave when Rei suddenly popped into a sitting position and threw herself out of bed. The college student blinked, eyeing the annoyed expression on Rei's face.

"Well? Come on, I'm up. Let's go watch your sunrise."

Hotaru followed quickly, racing out of the room. The miko was sitting on the balcony that opened up to the living room, mumbling about something or other. Just as she started to wonder where exactly was the cause of the early start to her day, Hotaru sat down beside her and draped a blanket over them both.

"It's chilly out. And you're sick."

Rei opened her mouth to protest when their conversation in her bedroom resurfaced. Instead, she glared at the cocky girl.

"Haha, very funny."

Hotaru wrinkled her nose and smiled. "Glad you think so."

"You..."

The younger girl opened her mouth to comment about the lack of a proper retort, but decided against it. After all, Rei was nice enough to watch the sunrise with her.

Rei was about to comment about the lack of a retort to _her_ lack of a retort when it began.

"I forgot how beautiful sunrise is."

Hotaru looked at Rei for a second before turning her attention back on the spectacular scene unfolding before her. There were no words to describe it. Even a picture couldn't capture its true beauty.

"Yes, well, with your... activities... it's hard."

Hotaru ignored the hesitation she sensed from Rei when she mentioned her "activities." She also ignored the dark look in the miko's eyes. Don't do it if you can't talk about it.

"I know."

Rei sighed and looked away from the sunrise to Hotaru.

"Everyone knows."

"Well, in such a tight group of people, it's hard not to."

"Hm... but none of them say anything."

"Well, we figured you'll talk about it when you want to. The last thing we want to do is push someone like you."

"Someone like me? What's that supposed to mean."

Hotaru shot Rei a look but then returned her attention to the sunrise. "With your temper, we expect you to blow up in our faces."

Rei quieted immediately. The girl had a point.

"What does everyone think about it?"

"We all have different opinions."

The miko arched a brow. Were they going to play the game they played last night?

"Like what?"

Hotaru paused, looking thoughtful. Rei waited, patient for the first time in her life.

"Well, Michiru-mama and Haruka-papa are both very worried. But, they figure it's your life and you know what you're doing. Ami's worried about your health, she also doesn't approve, to be honest. Setsuna-mama, she's worried but not overly so, since she knows the future and all. Minako is kind of like Papa and Michi-mama. But she probably got the future events out of Setsuna-mama. Makoto's ready to kick your ass into stopping. And Usagi? All out worry and trying to get you to stop. Thankfully not as violently as Makoto though. Or else you'd have everyone breathing down your neck since at her word, the concern will result in force."

Rei nodded. They cared about her so much, but that she knew already. And she already figured Makoto wanted to beat her into submission- not the kinky kind of submission.

"And how do you know this? Do you guys talk about it?"

"No, but I can tell."

The miko nodded again. "What do you think?"

Silence. Rei's heart dropped. Sometimes, Hotaru was just as traditional as Ami, though she obviously had no problem with a woman sleeping with another woman. Sleeping with many of them, however, was a different story.

"It's your life," Hotaru said finally. "But I hope you'll stop. It kind of hurts that you feel like you can't come to us for help and have to turn to that. I mean, we're all family."

Rei could barely keep the tears from falling. She was hurting all of them, and not just herself. Was she stupid or just selfish for not seeing it before?

"We all care about you, love you."

Hotaru turned to Rei and smiled softly. The miko looked away, trying to hide her tears.

"Even me, if you can believe it."

The older senshi smiled, nodding while silently thanking her friend for ending the conversation.

"So," Hotaru started, "what should we eat for breakfast?"

Rei looked at the sunrise for a brief moment. "Why don't I make you my famous omelets?"

To her amusement, Hotaru's eyes lit up with excitement. She hadn't had one of Rei's famous omelets in ages! What with Rei's never staying late in the morning during sleepovers and all. That and the fact that their lives were just all so busy now.

"Great. Let's go now, I'm starving."

Hotaru rolled her eyes at Rei's comment. Sometimes, she was as bad as Minako and Usagi. Either way, she followed the miko back into the apartment.

* * *

"Hm... oh god, I forgot how good this was."

Rei smirked smugly. "Of course it's good, I-"

"-made it, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the drill."

The sight of the very fragile looking senshi inhaling any kind of food at high speeds was enough to make Rei smile. Hotaru paused in her devouring of the omelets once in a while to stuff some rice into her mouth.

"Why aren't you eating?"

"Oh, I'm not that hungry."

Hotaru blinked, and then frowned. "But you said you were hungry a while ago."

Rei debated whether to be nice or mean. Looking at the confused expression on Hotaru's face, she didn't have the heart to tease.

"I just wanted to see you eat, you know, without having to use force."

Hotaru blushed; who knew the miko could be so sweet?

"But then again, anyone would lose their appetite if they saw you eating like you've been starved for centuries."

All right, so she did have the heart to tease. But it was fun!

"Hey!" Hotaru exclaimed. **'I should have known 'sweet' wouldn't last for long when it comes to Rei Hino.'**

"So, what do you want to do today?"

Violet eyes looked up with a protective gleam. "You're still sick."

Rei rolled her eyes at the comment. "With my healing abilities as well as the healing powers you've been using on me, I don't think I'm sick anymore."

Hotaru felt a piece of omelets go down the wrong pipe. Without warning, she began coughing like crazy. Rei reached over and patted her back while handing her some water. The liquid was gone within seconds.

"You okay?"

Hotaru noted the concern in Rei's voice and nodded. She looked at her meekly.

"You knew?"

"Of course," Rei mumbled indignantly. "I _am_ a miko. I _should_ be able to feel energy other than my own in my body."

"I hoped you were too out of it from the concussion to realize."

"Why would you do that?"

Hotaru blushed. "Well, you don't like getting help from others and I figured you'd be annoyed if you found out."

The miko smiled softly and ran her fingers through Hotaru's hair.

"You know, I _am _stubborn but I _do_ like it if someone helps me cut down the time that I feel like shit. I won't _act_ like it, yeah, but I still appreciate it.

Hotaru's blush darkened. "That would make sense."

Rei laughed, surprising the college student. The color on her cheeks darkened, if possible.

"I'm not _that_ stubborn."

"Well..."

"Don't start."

Hotaru smiled and nodded. She felt Rei place a hand over her own.

"Now, finish eating before the omelets gets cold."

* * *

Since Rei cooked, Hotaru insisted that she do the dishes. Rei, however, knew it was because the girl thought she was still sick. Oh well, no dishes for her to do.

"What do you want to do today?"

"Hm... I don't know. I suspect Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama are coming home tonight."

"Oh."

Rei tried not to sound disappointed, but failed. Hotaru looked at the woman in the doorway. Somehow, Rei looked pretty lonely. Whoever thought the powerful miko would look so down?

"But," Hotaru started, "I don't have school after tomorrow and I only have three finals and a paper to hand in. I've studied for the finals more than enough. Haruka-papa and Michiru-mama could probably use some more time alone."

The miko's expression brightened as she practically beamed at her friend. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by the phone ringing.

Hotaru watched as Rei ran off to get the phone. She came on Friday night, dreading the time she'd spend here. Well, half-dreading. After all, who wouldn't want to stay at their love's house?

Since then, they've already hit four awkward moments, interrupted Makoto and Ami as well as discussed an off-limits topic for each of them. All within 32 hours. Not a great track record considering Rei was unconscious for about... 20 of those hours.

And her fear's come true.

She was falling deeper for Rei Hino.

The woman could make her feel special. She called her beautiful! The less rational side of her mind decided this meant Rei liked her in return. She also bickered with the miko constantly, though it was their way of conversing and it was definitely fun. Rei's also been nice, cooking her breakfast and all. The miko even woke up at an ungodly hour to watch the sunrise with her. Not to mention let her drink, something that Michiru and Haruka never let her do. After the confession, there was no running for the hills or disgust. And she was forgiven by the hot tempered woman for touching on the most delicate subject of them all.

Damn, falling deeper in love every second.

"Hey, Hotaru."

"Hmm?" Hotaru mumbled as Rei reappeared in the kitchen.

"Looks like you don't have a choice in the matter."

"What are you talking about?"

"Ruka and Michiru decided to stay for another week or so. And your keys are in Haruka's car."

Hotaru blinked. Oh, how convenient. The keys that were in her coat pocket Saturday afternoon were in Haruka-papa's car when the last time she rode in it was a week ago. Uh-huh, they were so dead when got her hands on them.

"Oh, I guess I'm staying for a while. Is that okay with you?"

Rei nodded, trying not to break her face by grinning. "Of course. Have you finished your report?"

"Shit! That's what I forgot!"

Hotaru groaned and dried the dishes quickly.

"How much more do you have to write?"

"Only five pages or so."

A fine brow arched in question. "Only five?"

"Yeah. My whole paper's 38 pages."

Rei stifled a cough. Thirty-eight pages! She was almost as bad as Ami! God, genius, go figure.

"You can use my computer. I'll finish the," Rei looked at the empty sink, "already done dishes."

Hotaru grinned and unconsciously hugged Rei. The miko blinked, feeling the slender arms wrapped around her body. When was the last time she and the college student hugged each other?

"Oh my god, I'm sorry!" Hotaru gasped as she pulled away.

"Huh?" Rei asked, dazed. "It's perfectly all right. I can't remember the last time you did that."

Hotaru blushed at the soft smile on the miko's face. "Um... I'm going to do that report now."

At lightning speed, the girl disappeared into the study, leaving one confused miko in her wake.

* * *

Rei watched as small hands gathered the papers from the printer. Carefully, they made sure all the sides were even before stapling the sheets together.

"Thirty-eight pages, huh?"

Violet eyes glared at the miko slightly before flipping through the pages of her report.

"Well, it's only a few pages longer than I thought."

"Seven to be exact."

"All right, it's a lot over."

Hotaru pointedly ignored Rei as the woman approached. She felt a hand force her to turn around to meet a pair of amused but apologetic eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm only teasing. It's good."

And was Rei telling the truth. True, she wasn't as qualified to judge papers or as smart as Ami was, but she hadn't been a bad student in her time either.

- Flashback -

After half an hour, Rei peaked into her study to find her friend typing away furiously. The books from the other day surrounded the desk, accompanied by piles of papers.

Another half hour later, it was pretty much the same sight that greeted her.

She checked up on Hotaru three more times at half hour intervals. Each time she found Hotaru hard at work. Finally, the fourth time, she was surprised to see the typing had stopped. But the writer's eyes were still glued on the screen.

"Don't stare."

The comment caused the engrossed student to jump. Rei smiled.

"What did you say?"

"I said," the miko repeated as she approached the desk, "'don't stare.' It's bad for your eyes."

Hotaru stretched and suppressed a yawn. "I know. But I have to proofread this."

Rei pulled Hotaru out of the chair, despite the violent protests. She held up a hand, silencing the stressed student.

"I'll proofread it. You haven't moved in three hours. Go get something to drink and freshen yourself up."

"Thanks."

A smile of gratitude was returned by a grin.

"Now, go."

When Hotaru returned fifteen minutes later, sipping a Coke, she found Rei engrossed in her report. To call her nervous was severely understating her anxiety. She was a complete wreck. It's not every day your secret love reads your paper.

"Wow," was all Rei said after she finished. "It's very good. As good as Ami's I'd say."

Hotaru blushed, playing with the paperclips on the desk.

"You're exaggerating."

"No, really."

"If you say so, Rei..."

- End -

And now, Hotaru was playing with the cover of her report while the miko laughed at her anxiety inwardly.

"You'll be fine. And your teacher will love it."

Hotaru couldn't help but smile, though somewhat weakly.

"And if she doesn't," Rei continued, "Haruka and I will mess up her car."

"Rei!" Hotaru scolded, though she was unable to prevent herself from giggling.

"All right. We'll only slash her tires."

"You're impossible."

"I know."

The statement earned the miko a slap on the arm. A smile blossomed on the beautiful features as bright eyes focused on the young woman.

"You'll be fine."

Rei's heart quickened when she saw the appreciative smile. Damn, why she didn't notice how beautiful Hotaru was before? She forced herself not to dwell on the thought and crossed her arms while looking at her guest.

"So, what now?"

"No idea," Hotaru answered, putting her paper away in her book bag.

"Is there anything in the fridge?"

"No, not really. I think you used everything for the omelets."

"Come on, then."

"Where are we going?"

The miko turned, eyes twinkling with mischief.

"Grocery shopping."

* * *

If anyone ever told her she'd be pushing a cart in a supermarket on a Sunday afternoon while Rei Hino dumped things in like a child, Hotaru Tomoe would have thought they were in serious need of psychiatric help.

But sure enough, there she was.

"Rei! That's not healthy!"

"So? It's good."

"Ugh, Minako and Usagi have rubbed off on you."

All Hotaru got in response was a grin, causing her to abandon the idea of Rei and healthy.

"Let's go to the fruit section. That ought to please you."

Hotaru groaned as Rei disappeared behind the isles. Pushing the full cart along with some difficulty, the college student took her time.

The sight that met her when she found Rei caused her to stop.

Since she was sick, Hotaru made Rei wear a jacket over her black blouse, despite being almost summer. There she stood, holding a melon to her nose, sniffing like a cute little bunny rabbit. With a frown, the miko picked up another while her hair caught the light, framing her in a sea of dark lavender.

Upon realizing that she was admiring her friend pick out fruits, Hotaru gave a soft groan and slammed her head repeatedly on the handle of the cart. She was doomed.

"Hotaru? Are you okay? What's wrong?"

Black locks went flying everywhere as her head snapped up. Damn, Rei even looked cute gazing at her in confusion, her lips forming a slight pout, her head tilted to-

"Huh? Oh, nothing."

'**I am even more screwed than I thought.'**

"Are you sure?"

"Um... I just remembered that I have to pick up some film for my camera."

"Oh," Rei said pausing, "there's a photo store next door. Why don't you get it while I pay for the groceries?"

Hotaru felt Rei move to her side and push the cart towards the check out counters.

"You sure? I mean, I don't really need it."

The miko waved dismissively as they began unloading the cart onto the counter. The elderly woman began ringing up the groceries as Hotaru gazed at her companion hesitantly.

"Yes, I'll be fine."

"But... you still have a slight temperature."

"Hotaru!" Rei growled in pure annoyance while rolling her eyes. "A slight temperature will NOT cause me to forget how to pay for food."

"All right. I'll be right back."

Hotaru rushed out of the store, causing Rei to smile and shake her head slightly.

"That will be fifty-one forty, please."

The miko took out the money from the pocket of her jeans and handed the woman some money.

"Is she your girlfriend?"

Lavender eyes stared at the cashier with the kind smile in pure shock. Her lips were parted as she openly gawked.

"Excuse me?" she managed to croak, but just barely.

"The girl that just ran out, your girlfriend?"

Rei barely grasped the question. Hotaru. Her. Girlfriend. She realized seconds later the woman was still waiting for the rest of the bills in her hand.

"Um... no. She's just a friend."

The woman gave her the change and a warm smile.

"I'm sorry, dear. You two make a cute couple, that's all."

The miko nodded numbly and grabbed the groceries. She headed for the photo shop just next door, spotting Hotaru through the glass.

The girl was leaning against the counter, looking a bit annoyed. Her violet eyes browsed the small shop, pausing for a few seconds on the many photos on all sides. The gray sweater hugged her form, revealing curves Rei never noticed before. Her arm supported her head, while a foot tapped the floor with the tip of her shoe.

She looked so innocent, her pink lips pursued, hair getting in the way. So perfectly undisturbed.

The man soon returned and handed Hotaru a small box, for which she paid quickly. It was when she turned around that she discovered that Rei was staring at her.

"Done?" she asked softly, taking two bags from the miko.

"Yup."

Hotaru nodded as the two walked down the street, side by side. They remained silent, enjoying the natural and comfortable quiet. But it was impossible to relax completely, since the scenes they saw today refused to leave their minds.


	6. Meeting the Friends

Fallen From Grace

"One _teaspoon_ of baking soda! Not one _tablespoon_, Rei!"

"Well, I'm sorry."

Hotaru eyed the monstrous shape before her. It did not look like bread, no matter what the miko said.

"I don't understand why you want to bake bread when we bought it just today," Rei mumbled, chopping the vegetables.

"It's better homemade," Hotaru explained for, to her, what seemed like the thousandth time.

The shorter woman moved to dump the "bread" into the trash. Both she and Rei winced when it stuck to the pan.

"I'll get that," the miko offered.

"No, no," Hotaru said grabbing a knife to cut it out of the pan. "I'm starting to think you're worse than Minako and Usagi in the kitchen."

"I wouldn't go that far."

"You're right," the college student replied, causing Rei to grin. "Usagi's cooking _looks_ bad but it's edible. Yours…."

They both looked at the blob that clung relentlessly to the pan.

"Well… yours is not, let's put it that way."

Rei stuck out her tongue. "I can cook you know. I just can't bake."

A protest died on the tip of Hotaru's tongue when she remembered the omelet.

"Fine, I admit it. You can cook."

"Thank you," Rei replied, smirking smugly.

"But, I have to tell the other about this… this… _thing_ that won't get out of the damn pan!"

The miko walked over and took the knife from Hotaru's hand. Violet eyes glared at Rei's failed attempt at baking. The pan was carried to the sink and ran under hot water. This time, the knife cut through the "bread" and it was tossed into the garbage can. Hotaru's glare worsened when Rei smirked at her.

"It's your fault."

"Yeah, you're _real_ mature," Rei teased.

"Argh!"

Hotaru threw her hands into the air and stormed out of the kitchen. The miko smirked and continued to chop the vegetables. Seconds later, the college student returned, looking pissed.

"Forgot you're cooking dinner?"

A glare was the only response.

"You're most definitely feeling better."

"I told you I wasn't sick."

"Right. And the barfing in your sleep was just to scare me and an excuse to make me clean up."

Hotaru turned to discover Rei staring at her intently.

"Did I really throw up?"

"Yeah, only the first night though."

"I'm really sorry. You were stuck taking care of me instead of doing… well, anything else."

Hotaru walked over, stopping only centimeters away from Rei. The miko felt her heart speed up as her friend leaned forward.

'**Oh god,'**Hotaru screamed in her mind, _'_**what am I doing? This is way too close to Rei!'**

The older woman could feel the other's breath on her neck. A shiver ran down her spine as she realized a small hand was brushing against hers.

They just stood there, staring at each other. Hotaru closed her eyes slightly, cheeks flushed. How she's dreamed of a moment like this.

'**I could kiss her.'**

The thought shocked Rei even before she finished thinking it. She could. Oh, could she ever. It would be too easy to lean forward- just a tiny bit since they were so close. The smell of vanilla and cherries invaded her senses, leaving her nothing more than a puddle of mush. To her surprise, she felt the fire within her die down. The heat was replaced by a calm, comforting feeling.

Hotaru leaned over further into Rei's body. It would be so easy to just kiss the woman already. They would get lost in the passion. The look of hunger in those beautiful eyes was swallowing her whole. She was drowning in the need to be together, the need to touch and to hold. She could imagine Rei's lips on her skin, surrounding her body with warmth and blazing into her soul in a burst of wild fire. And she would give in, letting the miko claim her, mark her and make love to her.

Make love to her but not love her. There was a difference. Rei Hino didn't love her. She only loved two people, both blonde. She loved them completely, leaving no room for another. And in the end, Hotaru would probably end up on her bed despite knowing this. She would moan and pretend the miko loved her. But not matter what, she would just be another name on the long list.

'**No,'**she cried, _'_**don't do this to yourself! Stop dreaming!'**

Rei was barely breathing. She could smell Hotaru's scent, hear her gentle breathing, see her beautiful eyes twinkle and feel her body press against her own. Hell, she could practically taste the girl's mouth as she imagined their tongues dance.

Was she a pervert? Yes, she was. This was her friend. One of her best friends. She watched her grow from an adorable infant into a cute toddler into a wise teenager and into a beautiful woman.

Now she wanted her?

Wanted her the way she's wanted every other pretty girl or hot guy. She wanted to crush her in a tight embrace and to bruise those pink lips. She wanted to throw her onto her bed and have her way with her.

She was a monster. To see your friend as another play thing? Was this all she was now?

Rei was shaken from her self-disgust when she saw Hotaru's hand move upwards. Her heart hammered. God, was Hotaru offering herself to her? If so, would she accept?

Hell yes. In a fraction of a second.

But the lustful thoughts came to a screeching halt when Hotaru reached past her head and opened the cupboard behind her. Disappointment coursed through Rei's veins.

God, she was so stupid. Why would Hotaru ever give herself to someone like her? All she had to give was sex. Not commitment, not a relationship, not love and not even a promise to stay loyal.

No, Hotaru Tomoe deserved much better, much more. She deserved someone that would give himself completely to her. And Rei? Everything she was belonged to Minako and Usagi. Whatever was left was sealed away, especially her heart. Did she even have a heart anymore?

Hotaru tore herself from Rei, the hardest thing she's ever had to do. Taking the salt bottle in her hand, she turned to add it to the chicken on the stove.

Rei's eyes were engraved in her mind. The lust and desire were so strong. And they were for her. How she's dreamed of such a day.

Hotaru always thought that she'd give Rei her all, even if the miko just wanted her body. But now, seeing the look in her eyes, she couldn't.

Because Rei didn't love her. She never will. The love for the two blondes has crushed her, making her a shell of who she once was. Hotaru would do anything to change that.

But she knew she couldn't. The only way to get the old Rei back was for Rei herself to let go. She needed to open up and love again.

But who would love someone like Hotaru Tomoe?

* * *

They ate dinner in silence. Neither of them had spoken since the incident in the kitchen. Somehow, they managed to silently communicate everything. Of course, no touching or eye contact involved. Neither of them could take it.

Hotaru was trying to get a hold of Haruka, Michiru or Setsuna telepathically. No success. She wanted, no, needed them. She needed out. She needed to get away from Rei. To see what she wanted but could never have was killing her. It would be so easy to give in.

"I have to go to school tomorrow."

"I know."

Silence. Rei wanted desperately for a way to ease the tension.

"Why don't I drop you off tomorrow?"

Hotaru gulped. No, don't be nice.

"It's all right. I can get there by myself."

"I know you can. But I want to take you. Besides, I'm dropping by my office anyway."

The miko found herself the recipient of one of the college student's famous glares. She relaxed slightly. At least things were somewhat back to normal.

"Rei, you're still sick."

"I'm going just to check up on things. I won't do any work, I promise."

Hotaru relented with a soft sigh. "All right. I'd love to have a ride."

"Good."

Fine, not on best terms again just yet, but much better than before.

* * *

"Hotaru? Hotaru! Get up."

Violet eyes blinked drowsily. Once they opened fully, they focused on the woman by her bed. Rei stood there, coffee mug in one hand and a phone in the other.

"Yeah?"

"Morning, sleepyhead. You best get up. It's 7:58."

"What!"

Hotaru was now completely awake, scrambling for the bathroom. Rei smiled and shook her head.

Minutes later, a still sleepy but fast moving Hotaru ran into the dining room.

"Something to drink?"

"No, thanks. I need to get to school."

"All right. Come on."

Hotaru followed the miko down into the garage.

* * *

At 8:25 AM, Rei's silver Porsche pulled up in front of Tokyo University. All eyes turned, admiring the beautiful car. The passenger side door opened and out stepped Hotaru Tomoe. She shut the door and ran of the base of the stairs, where three girls stood, gawking.

"Hey, guys. Let's go."

The brunette Hotaru was pushing away shifted and walked back to the car. The blonde and the other brunette followed. Hotaru groaned.

"Hotaru-chan, nice ride," the shorter brunette whistled.

"Yeah! Did Haruka-san get a new ride?"

"No, Sara. This is my friend's car."

All three girls looked at their nervous looking friend and then turned their attention back to the car. The driver's side door opened, causing the four girls to step back.

"Staring is a bit rude, ladies."

None of them knew whether the woman was talking about them staring at the car or at her. Either way, Rei was leaning on the hood of her ride, an amused smile on her lips. The blonde, Sara, gawked at her.

"W-wh-who…"

"W-what…." the shorter brunette continued.

"Hotaru?"

The girl in question smiled nervously. "Umm… guys, meet Rei Hino. Rei, my friends. The blonde's Sara, the shorter brunette is Megumi and the tallest one is Hikari."

Both Sara and Hikari bowed politely, amusing the smiling miko. Megumi offered her hand, which Rei shook. The three college students then returned to staring at the woman. She was gorgeous!

"It's nice to meet you ladies. Hotaru, here's a floppy with your report on it. I thought you might want it, just in case you wrinkle your report or something."

"Rei…"

"I have to hurry to the office now. It was a pleasure meeting you ladies."

Hotaru sighed as her friends just nodded quietly, still in awe. The miko smiled and waved as she stepped into her car and drove away.

A few minutes later, Sara turned to a fidgeting Hotaru, smiling sweetly.

"Hotaru, when did you get a girlfriend?"

"What! No! She's not my girlfriend!"

"Really?" Sara asked eagerly. "Can I ask her out then?"

"Sara," Hikari scolded gently.

"Yeah," Megumi said smiling. "I don't go that way and I have a boyfriend, but she's hot!"

Hotaru stiffened. She turned to her blonde friend, expression grim.

"I don't think you want to go out with Rei."

Sara arched a brow in question. "Why? You like her?"

"I knew that was coming," Hotaru mumbled under her breath. "Yes, I do."

All three college students opened their mouths to say something. But Hotaru held up her hand, silencing them.

"But, that's not the reason I don't want you going out with her."

The youngest senshi could tell Hikari and Megumi were getting curious and Sara flat out annoyed. She took a deep breath.

"You'll get hurt," she whispered so softly that they barely heard her. "Rei's not… loyal. She sleeps around, promising each girl or guy forever. But forever doesn't even last a day, much less weeks."

None of the girls has ever heard Hotaru in so much pain. Her eyes were distant, hands held close to her heart.

"She doesn't love anymore. She doesn't care if what she does is hurting people."

Violet eyes turned to Sara, almost knocking the blonde off her feet with their intensity.

"Don't go out with her. I don't want you to get hurt too."

"Too?" Megumi echoed, brown eyes darkening. "Did she hurt you?"

"Did she?" Hikari pressed.

Hotaru shook her head, thankful to have so many good (protective, but good) friends. She smiled and walked up the stairs.

"Come on, we'll be late."

* * *

Hotaru walked down the stairs with Hikari, Sara and Megumi. Their finals had been easier than they'd expected, but by no means easy. They were chatting about the newest movie when Hotaru saw her.

Rei was standing at the bottom of the steps, talking on her cell phone. The college student wondered how she can look that beautiful wearing just a white blouse and black pants. Her friends noticed her silence and followed her gaze. Megumi straightened to her full height, 5'3", but none the less intimidating because of the look in her eyes.

"Parker, I don't CARE how, I want it done. Yeah, so what! I'll fly to Canada if he doesn't want to come. All right, do what you can."

Rei shut the cell phone off, mumbling in annoyance as she turned around. She found four college students walking up to her and smiled.

"Oh, hey Hotaru, Megumi, Sara and Hikari."

Megumi just nodded while Sara and Hikari bowed. Rei's eyes narrowed slightly, why were they being so cold now? Hotaru spoke up first.

"What brings you here?

"When Utena and Kenji found out I was sick this weekend, they demanded I go home. But, then I figured today's your last day of school so I should take you and your friends out for lunch."

"Oh."

Hotaru wouldn't admit it, but she was really touched by Rei's gesture. Megumi, however, just became even more suspicious.

"Do you all want to? I mean, I understand if you have prior arrangements," the miko continued.

The youngest senshi looked at her friends, who all nodded.

"Sure."

Rei smiled. "Great. There's a café two blocks from here that Usa-chan said… no, more like exclaimed, was pretty good."

"That sounds like her."

Rei shook her head as the four college student began walking next to her.

"You know her. That bottomless pit knows every restaurant, deli, café and fruit stand in city."

They all cracked a smile, even the sulking Megumi.

"How did you know when we would be out?" Hikari asked, speaking up for the first time.

"I called the office and demanded they tell me."

All four of the students stopped, gaping at her.

"You're joking," Sara croaked out, shocked.

Rei chuckled and winked. "Yes, I am. I've been waiting out here for about half an hour, hoping I didn't miss you."

It was clear from the expression on the blonde's face that she was trying not to go "awwww." Hotaru reached out and touched the miko's arm, causing Megumi's eyes to flash. She told Sara not to fall for the older woman, but it was obvious she herself was falling.

"You didn't have to. And you don't have to take us out for lunch, either."

The somewhat cocky expression became a gentle smile. Rei reached over and brushed a strand of hair behind her friend's ear.

"I know. But I want to. I know Ruka-san, Michi-san and Suna-san always take you out for dinner. The first two are out of town and who knows where Setsuna is. So, you'll just have to settle for me this time."

Hotaru looked into Rei's lavender eyes, her emotions displayed clearly for all to see. Her classmates knew now for certain that she didn't just like Hino, she loved her. Something that shocked them senseless.

"I'm not settling. You're great."

"Hm… good to know. But, let's keep walking. I'm sure you're all hungry."

Hotaru snorted as Rei started walking again.

"You want to hurry because _you're_ hungry."

The miko turned, flipping her hair over her right shoulder and just smirked.

"I never said I wasn't."

* * *

The girls were sitting in a booth near the back of the café. Megumi sat across from Rei, displeased that Hotaru was sitting to Rei's right and Sara on the miko's left. The blonde and Hikari made sure to pin the short brunette between the two of them to get her to behave.

"Please, order whatever you want."

Megumi opened the menu and tried hard not to gawk. The prices were very high. Sara was perfectly at ease, talking about the different selections with Rei. The blonde was rich, downright loaded. Hikari didn't look too shocked either, her green eyes scanning the menu.

"Rei."

"Yes, Hotaru?"

"I appreciate what you're doing. But it's just the last day of sophomore year. It's nothing-"

"It _is_ important."

Hotaru sighed. "No, not really."

"Ru, it's fine. We eat at Tower all the time, so I don't see why this is a big deal."

The Tower, one of the most expensive and classy restaurants in all of Tokyo. Megumi knew Hotaru was well off as well, but this was ridiculous! She'd have to save her allowance for a year just to get a table there!

Hotaru, noticing Megumi's stare, blushed. She knew Sara wouldn't be any help judging by the delighted expression on her face. Hikari, however, seemed to catch her friend's distress.

"Hino-san-"

"Rei's fine."

"Rei-san."

The woman being addressed was clearly amused by Hikari's manners. However, she remained silent and watched as the brunette cast a worried glance at Megumi.

"Rei-san, we don't want to be a bother. We could have enjoyed a hamburger or such-"

"Don't worry," Rei cut in, smiling. "I have enough money on me to feed four college girls."

The four blushed, reminded of the fact that they were merely college students. Hotaru began playing with her napkin, hoping Megumi wouldn't take anything out on Rei. Out of the four, she was the poorest, her parents working full time to support her family.

"Besides, I have enough credit cards to pay for the feeding of an army of starving teenage boys."

Megumi shook her head. This was ridiculous. Her parents worked hard to send her to college and here the woman with her could pay for twenty people's education. Hotaru and Hikari didn't flaunt their wealth, since they knew she was sensitive when it came to money. Sara wasn't as careful as the other two, but not intentionally to hurt Megumi. It was just her lifestyle. And it seemed Rei Hino was exactly like the blonde.

The waitress came and took their orders. Megumi eyed Rei evenly.

"Rei-san, do you mind if I ask how old you are?"

The miko smiled whilst Sara and Hikari wanted to hit their friend for her bluntness. Hotaru groaned inward and sank into her seat. And so begins the interrogation.

"No, of course not. I'm 25."

"Six years older than Hotaru. Would you mind if I ask how you two met?"

Hotaru was now ready to pounce on Megumi. Talk about overprotective.

"No. We met because of our common friend, ChibiUsa."

"Yes, ChibiUsa," Hotaru cut in. "She lost her hat and I got it back for her. We became friends. And through ChibiUsa, I met Rei."

Talk about a condensed version.

"How old were you then, Rei-san?" Hikari asked, becoming interested as well.

"It was eleven years ago, so I was 14."

"I see. And how did you two become friends? I imagine it's hard for a 14 year old and 8 year old to really become friends."

"Well, Megumi, I was friends with Hotaru's guardians, all three of them in fact."

"Oh? How old were they then?" Sara asked, oblivious to the nervous look on Hotaru's face.

"Sara!" Hikari cried, though somewhat halfheartedly.

"It's fine," Hotaru said. "Haruka and Michiru were 16 and Setsuna was 21."

Rei looked at Hotaru, arching a brow as if to ask, 'So that's the story we're going by?' The younger senshi nodded and hoped none of her other friends read anything from their eyes.

"Wait. They're not that much older than you," Sara said suddenly. "How did they come to be your guardians? I've always been curious."

It was true. When the three met Hotaru a year ago, the girl told them she lived with her guardians. But they never learned how that came to be.

Hotaru and Rei's eyes met again. The former was clearly hesitant to go into her past. The miko smiled, her gaze reassuring her that her friends wouldn't judge. Not that it's the entire story they'd be hearing.

"My father…"

At the word "father," Hikari, Megumi and Sara perked up. They've never heard Hotaru talk about her father before.

"My father owned Mugen High school. Haruka and Michiru were students there. Since I was usually around the school, my father asked them to be my babysitters during school hours."

The three college students nodded, motioning for Hotaru to continue.

"My father was later in an accident, leaving him unable to care for me. Setsuna was a teacher at Mugen, whom my father and I knew well. She was Haruka's guardian and I already loved her like a mother. So, my father made her my legal guardian along with Michiru and Haruka, when they turned 21."

"So," Sara whispered, saddened by her friend's story, "they raised you?"

Hotaru nodded. "Yes. Along with Rei, Ami Mizuno, Minako Aino, Usagi Tsukino and Makoto Kino."

"Who?" Megumi asked blinking.

"We know Rei-san," Hikari stated. "But who are the other four? Wait, did you say Ami Mizuno? As in the most renowned doctor in Tokyo at 25?"

Rei laughed, her eyes dancing with mirth as she shook her head. Hotaru smiled.

"Oh god," the miko said, wiping a tear from her eyes. "I want to meet _one_ person who doesn't know who Ami is."

"You're right. If I had a penny for every time I hear someone mention her, I'd be rich."

"You guys have a pretty diverse group of friends," Megumi said simply, though everyone could hear the slightly suspicious tone in her voice.

"Megumi," the miko said, addressing the brunette. "You remind me of my friend, Makoto Kino."

"How so?"

Rei knew she had to approach the subject with care. Megumi was practically promising death in her eyes.

"Well, she's a brunette, first off. And very protective. She'd do anything so that her friends won't be hurt. She's really tough too. Heck, she's a master of martial arts. And judging by the way you carry yourself, you practice it as well."

Megumi leaned forward slightly, interested. Hino knew more than she looked like she did.

"But, she's really a big softy on the inside."

Hikari and Sara had to restrain their friend from pouncing on Rei. The miko, however, had no fear whatsoever.

"Mako-chan lost her parents when she was young. You have a big family, don't you?"

Rei took the heated stare from the young woman as a yes.

"You both learned how to take care of yourself when you were young. And how to take care of others. For you, it's siblings and for Makoto, it was us. But we are like a family. We're closer than most real families since for most of us, we don't have a very traditional family."

Megumi stopped, hearing the pain in Rei's voice. Hotaru closed her eyes and leaned against Rei.

"I grew up with my grandfather. Minako's parents were neglectful. Ami lived only with her mother. Haruka didn't live with her family and never discussed them. Michiru was the same. Usagi's the only one with a real family."

Lavender eyes bore into Megumi's. The college student almost gasped. They burned with an uncontrollable flame. It was both scorching and comforting, easily swayed to either side. Rei Hino was as protective of Hotaru as she was, no, more. And she cared for her friend.

"We wanted to give Hotaru what most of us didn't have. Sure, we're not a conventional family. But we tried. And thank god she turned out the way she did."

Hotaru refrained from hugging Rei right there and then. Despite the fiery attitude, the miko was still a kind and caring person. And she cared about her. God, she cared. The young girl covered her friend's hand with her own, causing the miko to look at her. Rei reached up and touched a slightly pale cheek, eyes twinkling.

"Thank god."

That was all Hotaru could stand. Without a word, she leaned over and kissed Rei's cheek. Lavender eyes closed, relishing the feel of those soft lips on her skin.

Three pairs of eyes watched the touching exchange. It was painfully obvious the attraction that existed between those two. And it went beyond the whole "family" ties they spoke of. For reasons unknown to Megumi, Hotaru Tomoe loved Rei Hino. And to her annoyance, those feelings seemed to be reciprocated.

And they had no idea of the other's affection.

The brunette groaned out loud. The two involved in the little drama were too busy to notice. Hikari and Sara, however, were not. Two pairs of angry eyes turned to the brunette, promising death is she interfered.

"All right, ladies. Sorry to keep you waiting."

The waitress' arrival snapped Rei and Hotaru from their trance. They moved away, blushing. Both pairs of purple eyes turned away from the other.

"Who ordered the Supreme Mocha Cara-"

"That would be her," Rei interrupted, pointing to Hotaru.

Sara was touched by the fact that the miko knew what her friend ordered. As the waitress walked away, her brown eyes turned to Rei.

"Rei-san? Did you know that's what Hotaru ordered since you know her so well?"

The older woman felt four pairs of eyes on her. She smiled sweetly, though the gleam in her eyes told them she was anything but that.

"I wish," she whispered, sighing dramatically. "But alas, that is not the case."

"Then how did you know I ordered it? You weren't paying attention when the waitress was getting our orders."

"It's simple. Only Hotaru would order something with such a long name it would take more time to say it than to enjoy it."

Hikari, Megumi and Sara found it hard not to twitch. Rei, on the other hand, was smiling so widely her cheeks hurt. She could feel a pair of glaring eyes on her, trying to burn a whole through her head. She turned to her right, looking into the annoyed face of Hotaru Tomoe. The miko gulped and smiled weakly.

"Rei…"

"Umm… hi, Hotaru."

The disbelief the other three girls felt disappeared when they saw the panic in the business woman's eyes. The confident woman moved back from the youngest senshi.

Hotaru suddenly calmed. Four pairs of eyes stared as she sipped her drink. Violet eyes turned to Rei, a smirk on her lips.

"This is from a woman who orders black Colombian coffee every time."

Attention was refocused on the miko. The three students of Tokyo University found the exchange to be amusing.

"What can I say? I'm a creature of habit, Firefly-chan."

Annoyed violet eyes met smug lavender ones. But, it was obvious Hotaru wasn't about to let Rei get the best of her.

"I find it rather dull, Hino-chan."

"Yes, perhaps, Firefly-chan. But at least I won't order a dish cooked completely in milk by accident."

"Ouch," Sara mumbled. Everyone knew Hotaru hated milk. The short black-haired woman opened her mouth to retort when a smooth voice cut her off.

"Well, I'd never thought I'd see the day when the Rei Hino is out with four college girls. Too young, wouldn't you say?"

Everyone turned to see a tall woman with flaming red hair and mocking gray eyes looking at Rei. Her red lips were twisted upwards in a condescending smile. Hotaru felt her friend tense besides her.

"Naomi," the miko greeted coldly.

The woman, Naomi, looked at the college students and stopped when she got to Sara.

"Ah, only one girl wouldn't mind going out with you." Then she turned to Sara. "She's your type, isn't she, hon?"

Sara blinked in confusion and turned to Rei for help. The miko glared at Naomi before returning her attention to the blonde college student.

"Don't mind her," she said dryly. "She can pick up every lesbian or bisexual girl within a radius of five miles."

Megumi and Hikari squirmed uncomfortably as their friend blushed.

"You shouldn't be talking, Hino. Your radar's set for ten."

Rei stood, ready to pounce on Naomi. The only reason she didn't was Hotaru's hand on her arm. The redhead's smirk widened at the sight of this.

"Naomi-san!"

A cute and perky young woman bounced over to the booth. Naomi's eyes softened immediately.

"Mika-chan."

The girl turned to Rei, staring at her. Naomi's eyes narrowed at the sight of the miko's twinkling eyes.

"Mika-chan, wait for me outside."

The girl nodded and walked out. Cold gray turned to blazing lavender as the miko sat down. The calm before the storm.

"I never thought I'd see this day," Rei snarled. "The day the famous Naomi Nagi falls for a straight girl. Quite smitten over her, actually."

Naomi's eyes flashed. She turned and walked towards the door.

"Good day, Hino. This isn't over."

The bell over the door sounded when the redhead walked out. All eyes turned to Rei. The miko seemed completely unaffected as she sipped her coffee.

"Rei-san," Sara said finally. "Did you know all along I was a lesbian?"

The blonde was blushing furiously and looked down to avoid the twinkling lavender eyes. It was obvious from Rei's gaze both the answer to that question and to the next. Nevertheless, Sara decided to ask.

"Did you know I was interesting in you?"

Rei nodded, smiling brightly. Megumi practically jumped out of her chair when the miko touched the Sara's hand.

"Once you have enough experience, it's easy to tell with most people."

Hotaru looked away to hide her own blush. Does that mean Rei could tell she had a crush… no, that she loved the miko? Hopefully not.

"Besides," Rei continued as she pulled her hands away, seeing Megumi's glare, "I'm flattered."

"I don't know why. You're gorgeous, I'm sure you have people chasing you all the time."

The miko actually blushed. Hikari noticed both Hotaru and Rei stiffen the same time Sara did.

"Yeah, well…"

The group fell into an uncomfortable silence. Soon, lunch was finished, yet no one said another word. When it came time to leave, the four students stood outside while Rei paid the bill.

"So," Hikari said to Hotaru as Rei walked out, "are you coming home with us, Hotaru?"

The miko stood to the side, waiting for Hotaru's answer. It was clear Megumi disliked her. Sara was… well, Sara. Hikari felt awkward around her. Rei sighed and looked at the direction of the university. She wanted to make a good impression on Hotaru's friends. Once again, she totally messed something up.

"Actually, I'm staying with Rei."

Hotaru winced when she saw the shorter brunette's eyes narrow. The dangerous vibes coming from the woman was quite scary. Rei didn't as much as look in their direction, trying her best to give them some privacy.

"What? When did this happen?"

"Ru," Rei said calmly, ignoring Megumi's exclamation. "I'm going to get the car."

The violet-eyed girl was glad Rei took the hint and left. She sighed and turned back to her concerned friends.

"Rei was sick this weekend. I stayed with her and my guardians went out of town. Rei offered me a place to stay."

"What!" Megumi screamed again. "That's not good."

"Why not?"

"Well… argh!"

"What she means," Hikari interrupted quickly, "is that we don't think it's a good idea."

"Why not?"

"Hotaru! It's obvious you love her! It's like putting your head into a lion's mouth! Not the smartest idea!"

"Guys, I know you're worried. But Rei would never hurt me. Trust me on this one."

Megumi growled and stomped off. Just then, Rei pulled up in her car. Hikari and Sara thanked the miko for lunch on both theirs and Megumi's behalf. They gave Hotaru a hug before running off. The young woman got into the car, upset. Rei sighed and drove home.

* * *

Hotaru walked into the apartment, put her stuff down and went straight to the guest bedroom. Rei sighed and walked into the kitchen to get some water.

Today and last night had not gone well. She needed advice. She needed…

Without another thought, she crossed over to the phone and dialed a number. The phone rang twice before it was answered.

"Hi, Setsuna?"


	7. Past and Present Collides

Fallen From Grace

"Rei, do we _have_ to go?"

The miko sighed softly and looked at the annoyed girl standing at her bedroom door. Hotaru stared back with flashing eyes, her white pin striped blouse unbuttoned, revealing her black bra. Rei tried hard not to imagine running her hands along the girl's flat stomach and caressing her-

'**Oh my god, STOP RIGHT THERE! This is WHY I'm in this mess!'**

Despite the mental torment, Rei managed to smile at her guest through her mirror.

"Yes, Hotaru. I promised my friends."

The annoyed senshi walked in and sat down on Rei's bed, legs crossed neatly. A gulp came from the other woman. Damn, Hotaru looked so very enticing.

"But they're _your _friends. Why do _I_ have to go?"

The miko shook her head at Hotaru's groan. This was more like the young girl she watched grow up.

"Hotaru, it's ONE dinner. It's not going to kill you."

"How do you know?"

"Look, you're my guest. I can't leave you home while I'm out."

"You can be nice and be a bad hostess."

"Come on," Rei said sighing as she stood.

"Fine. But I won't enjoy this!"

The miko watched in amusement as Hotaru threw on the leather jacket she loaned her. First, she thought how perfect the girl looked in that outfit. Yes, they were going to classy restaurant which called for the slightly formal attire. But it made her shiver to see the girl dressed so professionally. Rei almost wanted Hotaru to graduate and get an office job already so she could see the younger girl like that every day. And the black pants clung to her long legs as she stood and walked out, hipping swinging rhythmically to the music inaudible to her unworthy ears…

Hotaru tapped her foot, arms crossed. What was taking the damn elevator so long? Just then, Rei walked out of her apartment and locked the door behind her. Hotaru stopped in her impatient tapping, eyes narrowing slightly to inspect the miko better. A dark red turtleneck hugged the woman's curves and the black leather pants looked painted on.

The soft ding of the elevator doors opening caused Hotaru to divert her attention. She quickly walked in, hoping Rei didn't see the lust in her eyes. The miko herself soon followed, both looking straight ahead.

"Ru, look in the mirror."

"What? Why- OH MY GOD! WHEN WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME MY BLOUSE WAS COMPLETELY UNBUTTONED!"

"Hmm… maybe when we got to the restaurant."

Hotaru was still fuming by the time they arrived at the restaurant. Rei had to practically carry her in. Finally, as they waited for the hostess, the miko turned to her, a slight frown playing on her full lips.

"Tomoe, behave or else I'll _carry_ you all the way to the table and sit you down like the child you're behaving as."

Hotaru scoffed, but nonetheless straightened and followed the hostess that just arrived. Between spouts of her anger, she wondered why the restaurant looked so familiar.

"A private room, as you requested, Hino-san."

The miko shoved her house guest into the room. Hotaru opened her mouth to yell at Rei when she noticed two very familiar people looking at her.

"Suna-mama? Mina?"

It was then Rei and the blonde sitting at the table burst into laughter. Even Setsuna was having trouble hiding her chuckle at her daughter's shocked expression.

"Close your mouth," Rei teased softly as she guided the girl to the table. "You're attracting flies."

Hotaru snapped out of her shock to glare at the miko as she was seated next to her guardian.

"There are no flies in… where are we?"

Setsuna arched a fine brow and looked at both Rei and Hotaru. Lavender eyes twinkled as the miko put her hand on the youngest woman's shoulder.

"Ru, we're at the Tower."

"What!"

The room was filled once again with laughter as Hotaru looked around. The Tower? She came here once a month, at least! It was Makoto's restaurant, after all.

"How did you not notice?" Minako croaked out between giggle fits.

"Umm… I was mad at Rei."

"What? Why?"

Hotaru blushed under Minako and Setsuna's inquisitive gazes.

"Well," Rei said, grinning like a crazy woman, "it's not big deal. I didn't tell her she walked out of my apartment without buttoning her blouse. But I did tell her to look in the mirror in the elevator."

The blonde and her girlfriend were completely silent for about half a second. That is, before laughter rang loud and clear through the entire restaurant.

"Oh god, Rei!" Minako yelled as she clutched her stomach. "That's great!"

Hotaru glared at the three older women who were having a field day at her expense. It wasn't as effective as usual since she herself was blushing deeply. Setsuna placed her hand on the girl's shoulder, laughing along with the other two, though in a far more subdued manner.

"Hotaru, at least you noticed before anyone saw you," the garnet-eyed woman comforted.

Violet eyes narrowed dangerously. Great. After becoming Minako's girlfriend, her guardian's teasing became more and more frequent.

"Minako's done worse."

The blonde stopped laughing when she heard the low and secretive voice of her lover. Lavender and violet eyes turned to the leader of the senshi, twinkling with curiosity.

"Do tell," Hotaru murmured softly, glad the spotlight was off of her.

"Setsuna Meioh! Don't you dare!"

"Well," the oldest senshi began, ignoring the glares of her blonde girlfriend. "We were at my apartment. I forced Minako to wake up early and she wasn't fully awake. I was in a hurry and went downstairs to wait for her. By the time I saw her when the elevator doors opened, I saw six shocked faces and the four men had nosebleeds."

Hotaru inched forward, hoping to erase her embarrassment. Minako had her face in her arms, cursing in every language possible. The miko, however, was anxious while she smiled in amusement outwardly. She still felt the stings of betrayal. But nothing was going to ruin tonight.

"It turned out she had dressed quickly and left her left breast hanging out of her halter top."

The blonde groaned loudly. Rei and Hotaru blinked once. Twice.

"WOW! How could you not notice?" Hotaru asked incredulously.

"I know you love attention, Mina-chan," Rei wheezed out between her laughter, "But that's ridiculous!"

The blonde woman smacked the miko sitting next to her. This made the two outer senshi laugh even harder. Minako smiled evilly and Rei felt her stomach drop at the sight. Oh… no…

"Rei's done worse!"

The whole room silenced, waiting for Minako's story. Meanwhile, lavender eyes looked around the room, trying desperately to remember the embarrassing things she's done. Oh god, there were too many, first of all. Second, she never could remember any of them!

"Well, this happened when Rei and I were still together."

Hotaru glared at the leader of the inners when the miko stiffened besides her. When those two were together. Everyone thought they were the perfect couple, a match made in Heaven. The powerful leader of the Inner Senshi and one of the strongest fighters with a passion for protecting the princess that made her someone to be feared.

Both were extraordinarily beautiful: Minako in a classic Pop Idol kind of way, what with her golden locks and Rei, the mysterious, beautiful priestess whose sex appeal lay in her dark features and pale skin. Together, they were a team to be reckoned with, both on the battlefield and off. They were clearly close, the sexual energy bouncing off of them.

But, it was not meant to last.

"We were headed for one of my concerts and we were… playing in the limo."

Currently, the youngest senshi was really trying her best not to jump the fighter she so respected. Playing. That was the politer and edited version of: "fucking like jackrabbits in heat." Minako and Rei were the most sexually active couple, beaten by perhaps only Michiru and Haruka. It was like a slap in the face for Hotaru. She could never have that with Rei, whether relationship-wise or just plain sex kind of way. Not in a million years.

"And when we were at the parking lot, Rei was getting a lot of looks. She realized a few seconds later she was only in her underwear and no pants on!"

Hotaru giggled weakly, noticing the hurt and betrayed look in the miko's eyes. Minako gulped nervously. She had forgotten how touchy her old girlfriend could be.

For once, Setsuna found herself mad at her lover. It was insensitive to remind the miko of the former relationship they once had. Especially since Minako hooked up with her only weeks after the breakup.

"Excuse me," Rei forced out as she stood, "I need to use the restroom."

Although there was a bathroom in the private room Makoto built just for the senshi, Rei rushed out of the room. A sigh broke the silence as the blonde star looked at Setsuna for support. Instead, she found herself staring in the glaring eyes of one enraged Hotaru Tomoe.

The youngest senshi was barely containing her rage. Minako was the reason Rei did what she did: sleeping with different people each night and drinking. The miko wanted to feel loved, in any possible.

"Aino-san," Hotaru whispered fiercely as she jumped to her feet, causing the leader of the Inner Senshi to shiver at the sound of the cold voice. "Please be careful with your stories. If you and Setsuna-san would excuse me, I will be back."

With that, the college student slipped out. Minako leaned against Setsuna, feeling her lover's arms wrap quickly around her.

"I'm sorry. I didn't want to bring you into this."

Ever since Setsuna and the blonde announced their relationship, there would be hot and cold times with the oldest senshi's adoptive daughter. While Hotaru was happy her guardian found love, she obviously hated the fact that she broke another senshi's heart in the process. Especially one she felt was a close friend and someone she loved.

Yes, Minako and Setsuna knew long before anyone else that Hotaru did indeed love Rei. They probably knew before the youngest senshi herself knew.

"It's okay, Mina-chan."

"I never meant to bring our relationship up," the blonde star whispered. "I never meant to hurt her."

"I know, I know."

Hotaru nodded greetings to the staff members that knew her while she searched for the fire senshi. Finally, after what seemed like hours, she stopped the hostess. The older woman bowed politely.

"What can I do for you, Hotaru-san?"

"Aya-san, have you seen Rei?"

The hostess thought for a second before nodding.

"I saw her rushing to the bathroom. I was a bit worried about her."

"Thank you," Hotaru whispered, nodding before rushing away.

The bathroom. Geez, that _was_ where the woman said she was going. But no. She just had to think Rei would be difficult and go somewhere else. Panic makes you really illogical.

"Rei?"

Hotaru was met with silence as she opened the door of the ladies' room. Violet eyes scanned the area and finally settled on the prone form on the comfortable couch.

"Rei?"

A twitch of the shoulders was all the response she received. Hotaru was shocked at how much anger coursed through her veins. No matter how much she loved and respected both Minako and Setsuna, her love for Rei was dominant and taking control.

With a soft sigh, she sat down on the edge of the couch, her hands resting on the miko's shoulder. Again, there was no response, causing the usually calm girl to panic.

"Rei-chan?"

The miko suddenly sat up, brushing the tears from her cheeks as she threw a fake smile in the direction of her friend.

"Sorry, Ru. I didn't hear you."

That was the biggest lie either of them had ever heard. Nevertheless, Rei begged to every deity in the world that Hotaru would let it slip. She did.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah, course. Why wouldn't I be?"

Neither of them said anything for a while.

"Rei, Minako didn't mean anything."

"I have no idea what you mean."

Hotaru's eyes narrowed slightly. She wasn't going to let that one slip.

"Stop lying."

Rei's only response was to look away.

"Was I that obvious?"

Hotaru smiled and instead of answering began running her fingers through the dark tresses of the hurting woman. The miko calmed at the touch, eyes closing slowly.

"Well, bolting like a bat out of hell wasn't all that discrete."

Rei cracked a small smile at the sound of the shorter girl's soft giggle. Even when she felt like shit, her friend's laugh still struck her in a way nothing else did. A soft sigh slipped from her parted lips. It was time to stop pretending.

Violet eyes watched as Rei's mask fell and her body slumped, revealing her fatigue and emotional distress. The miko leaned towards her and Hotaru responded by wrapping her arms around the waist of her host. A warm feeling coursed through her frail looking body when a head topped with lavender silk was placed upon her shoulder, forehead pressed against her neck.

"Rei," Hotaru sighed. If it weren't for the circumstances…

"I loved her. I really loved her."

The girl only bit down on her lip, squeezing her eyes shut. God, there was nothing that could describe her feelings. Yes, she knew, but it didn't make this any easier. Damn the blonde. For having something she's dreamed of for so long but so carelessly threw away.

"I promised myself that I would only love Usagi. Hell, I hid my love for her for so long that I became numb. I didn't think I could feel anymore."

"Don't stay that. You loved all the senshi."

"No. I really didn't know how to love anyone. Not until Minako came and told me she loved me."

What if it had been her instead? True, at the time Hotaru Tomoe possessed the body of a 5 year old. For once, she found herself cursing the chance given to her to start over. If she had stayed in her old body, she would have had a chance to help Rei. And to be with her. A slim chance, true, but a chance none the less. Then, maybe the couple of the moment would have been Rei and her, not Minako and Rei. Hotaru knew she'd never hurt the miko the way the blonde did. Never.

"But then she left me. And I find out later she was with Setsuna only days after."

A bitter laugh shook the body of the distressed woman. Hotaru did the only thing she could, she tightened her arms around the woman she loved to tell her she was there.

"Don't get me wrong, I love Setsuna like I love Makoto and Michiru and all the senshi! But Setsuna! Setsuna!"

The student reached up and began to stroke the miko's hair again. Rei snuggled against her.

"I can understand, I guess. Setsuna's very beautiful. She's got that whole mysterious aura about her. I'm nothing compared to her."

Rei suddenly found herself pushed away from her human pillow. She barely registered that she missed the warmth before finding herself staring into violet eyes that burned with an unusual but beautiful fire. She was even more shocked when a dangerous growl came from the throat of the pale girl.

"Don't ever say that. You _hear_ me, Rei Hino? You are both very beautiful. In you own way, true, but beautiful nonetheless. Believe me, Minako's decision might have been based on a lot of things, but Setsuna being more beautiful than you was NOT and _could _not have been a factor."

Rei felt tears stinging her eyes again. God, she thought she'd stopped crying permanently. She stopped years ago. Enough! Everything hit her like a tidal wave and the dam broke.

"Then why! Why did she choose Setsuna! Was I just someone to entertain her while she worked on getting her? Wasn't I good enough?"

The miko's arms wrapped tightly around Hotaru's waist and hurried her face in the girl's shirt. Violet eyes closed, trying to hold back her own tears as her arms wrapped around the sobbing woman, whose entire body shook.

"No, don't ever think that."

Hotaru didn't even have to look up to know who the voice belonged to. The sight she saw when she did, however, was unexpected. Minako kept the bathroom door open with her hand while the other gripped the doorframe tightly. Tears welled up in the baby blue eyes that captivated millions as the blonde shook her head. The pain and self-hatred there was… heart breaking. Perhaps just as much so as the sobs coming from the woman in her arms.

Rei's cries had disappeared, though silent tears still ran down her cheeks. She had pulled away from her source of comfort, eyes trained on the sofa.

"You were so much better than I deserved."

"Is that why you left?" The miko snapped back bitterly.

Minako bit her bottom lip. Oh god, this was happening all over again. This was hurting all over again.

"No."

"Then why! Why did you leave me after telling me you loved me? Was it a lie?"

Hotaru strained to hear the last part, though she wished she hadn't. It was the question of a woman whose spirit had broken beyond the state of repair. It was the voice of a soul who had lost its way. And it killed her.

"No!" Minako screamed back, tears running down her cheek. She and Rei were looking at least other now, devastated lavender against tormented blue.

"No… I did love you," the blonde said finally. "None of what I said was a lie. None of what we had was a mistake. I regret nothing."

"Then why?"

Minako leaned against the door, too weak to stand on her own. Hotaru could only watch the scene unfold, feeling her heart being torn in two.

"There were… too many things."

"Name one."

The blonde tasted blood from biting her lip. She had no answer she could provide. The sight of Rei crying was almost enough to push her over the edge and tell her ex-lover everything. But no. Despite the circumstances she had to leave Rei and go to Setsuna, she now truly loved the Guardian of Time. She couldn't tell the miko. She couldn't hurt her girlfriend.

"Rei… it's complicated…"

The miko shook her head, sending raven locks everywhere and she laughed. The chilling and bitter sound echoed in the bathroom, causing goose bumps to appear on the skin of the other two senshi. The laugh was without mirth. It was the laugh of a person who's suffered too much to hold onto all of their sanity.

"Oh god! This is fresh!"

Rei felt the fearful gazes of her friends on her. But she couldn't stop laughing. Oh dear god! This was just too funny.

"So, this is what it's like to be on the other end of those words."

'**She's finally snapped,'** Hotaru thought as she stared at the miko.

Laughter soon disappeared, leaving behind a chilling silence. Ruby lips smiled bitterly and purple met blue for only the second time that night.

"So, even after all these years, that's still the best you can give me?"

Minako opened her mouth, but quickly shut it. No matter how much it hurt Rei and her, she couldn't say anything. Strengthening her resolve, the blonde regained her composure.

'**Do it quickly,'** Minako thought as all emotions in her eyes disappeared. **'Do it before you can't.'**

"I'm sorry," she stated flatly as she turned to leave. As long as she didn't look at Rei…

"I don't know what else to tell you."

The anguish Hotaru felt from Minako did nothing to quench the anger growing within her. Didn't she care at all the grief and pain she was causing Rei? Was she really that heartless?

That's when Rei spoke.

"And to think I still love you."

The blonde froze and Hotaru could see her façade come crumbling down. Blue eyes welled with fresh tears as Minako's face twisted into an expression of regret. But it was gone as fast as it came. The door closed as the blonde walked out, head up high. It took a minute for everything to settle in Hotaru's mind.

'**She still loves Rei, too.'**

And that's the end of that chapter. How was it? I started it by trying to be funny. That soon went downhill when I realized exactly what kind of opportunity I had. I thought for a long time about who Rei and Hotaru would go out to dinner with. It was originally Michiru and Haruka, but I changed it last minute. But I am so very happy with the result.

I was listening to "Hush, Hush, Hush" by Paula Cole when I typed this up. It had NOTHING to do with this fic or even romance. But it was so sad that it seemed to fit pretty well, especially the conversation between Rei and Minako near the end.

Well, here's more on Minako and Rei's past relationship. This will probably be the biggest scene involving both the blonde and the miko when their former relationship is discussed. The other instances will mainly be Rei and Hotaru. Since I personally like Minako a lot and I also felt (I actually did and not because I like the blonde. Heck, I would've made her a complete bitch if I liked that plot better) that this kind of mixed messages thing is better and more entertaining.

Well, next chapter! Hikari gives Hotaru a little advice/reality check while Rei gets to have some fun.


	8. A Little Needed Advice

Fallen From Grace

After several minutes, Rei was still silent, looking at the floor blankly. Hotaru had no idea what to say or do. It was obvious the miko didn't want comfort. But what _did_ she want?

Wordlessly, the miko stood and violet eyes followed her as she walked out. The shorter girl stood, chasing after her friend. The woman stalked towards the hostess, not bothering to even look in the direction of the private room.

As Rei paid for dinner, Hotaru's eyes trailed to the door of the room. There, she found her gaze meeting with her guardian's. She willed the disgust and anger to not show in her eyes. However, the attempt failed miserably as confusion mixed in with the other two emotions. Looking away quickly, she was unable to stand the sight of her "mother."

Rei walked out and Hotaru could only follow behind, however hesitant. Did Rei want her to go back to the apartment?

The miko opened the car door, getting in. After half a second of mental debate, the college student decided it was better if she went with her friend.

When the elevator doors opened, Rei stepped out. She had yet to say a single word or even make a sound. Lavender eyes remained unreadable as she unlocked the door, walked straight into her bedroom and slammed the door shut.

Hotaru sighed softly and made sure everything was fine before heading for her the guestroom.

The next morning, Hotaru sat in the chair near the living room. She was sipping her juice and reading her book when the door to Rei's bedroom opened. To her shock, instead of the miko, a woman with auburn hair and blue eyes walked out, clothes wrinkled and hair a mess.

'**Ignore it,'** she told herself forcefully. **'You _knew_ this would probably happen.'**

The woman saw her and gasped, a blush staining her cheeks. Hotaru looked up from her book, acting nonchalant.

"Good morning," Hotaru said casually as if she saw this every day. "I'm staying with her for a while."

The woman nodded and looked around nervously, embarrassed to have been caught. Hotaru pitied her, the poor thing.

"There's a pad and a pen on the coffee table. Feel free to leave your number."

Hotaru forced herself not to say 'name' as well. Rei most likely wouldn't remember it, and even if she did, wouldn't care. She watched as the older woman scribbled something down on the pad. Blue eyes focused on her, embarrassed and hesitant.

"Can you tell her I had a meeting to attend?"

"Sure thing."

"Thank you. I'll show myself out."

Hotaru didn't bother looking up from her book when Rei's door open again and she heard a stream of curses. She simply continued reading, finding the chair very comfortable.

Rei walked out, holding her head as she suffered from a killer headache. It took her a second to realize there was someone in the room with her. She looked over and gasped when she saw the younger woman.

"Hotaru?"

"G'afternoon."

Rei blinked blankly. Right, the girl was staying with her. She was in the guest bedroom sleeping while she… ah. Embarrassment coursed through her as she wondered if Hotaru saw her… companion.

"She had to leave for a meeting. Her number's on the coffee table."

Rei blushed. That would be a yes.

"Thanks."

Hotaru simply shrugged, eyes never leaving her book. The miko walked to the kitchen, realizing Hotaru had yet to look at her.

'**She's probably disgusted by me,'** Rei thought sadly. **'Not that I'd blame her. I was screwing someone's brains out while she was a room away, sleeping. And especially after what happened last night…'**

The corners of her ruby lips pulled downward, forming a frown. Last night had NOT gone right. She was supposed to enjoy the evening with Hotaru to make up for the botched up lunch. Instead, she found herself sobbing on the couch in the bathroom and then having a very 'interesting' conversation with her ex.

Oh yeah, great way to spend the evening with a woman you might be developing feelings for, sexual or otherwise.

"You want something to eat, Hotaru?"

"No, thank you," the girl called back.

Rei sighed yet again as the coffee machine started making the life-giving substance. She didn't want to make any plans, fearing it'll blow up in her face again.

"Rei! I'm going to meet Hikari for lunch. Do you mind?"

The miko looked at the girl in the doorway. Her heart dropped slightly but she understood. She wouldn't want to be with her all afternoon after last night's disaster either.

"Sure, have fun."

Hotaru didn't miss the disappointed look in those lavender eyes. But it disappeared quickly as the miko put on a cheerful smile.

"It'll give me a chance to take care of a little paperwork."

"Don't overdo yourself."

Rei's smile became genuine at Hotaru's stern look. At least she cared. That was better than nothing.

"Yes, yes. Now, go off to meet Hikari. You don't want to be late."

Lavender eyes watched her friend leave the room. With a tired sigh, Rei headed for her bedroom, determined to clean it up.

Hotaru walked into the restaurant, violet eyes searching for her brunette friend. Hikari waved her over to a booth when she caught sight of the shorter girl.

"Hey!"

Hikari received a much less subdued greeting from her classmate. Blue eyes narrowed, what was wrong now? But it was too early for that.

Hotaru sipped her water and took another bite of her burger. She has been feeling her friend's concerned eyes on her the entire time and was unsure whether or not to spill her guts right there and then. Who else would she tell?

"All right, spill."

At the command, Hotaru almost broke down and confessed everything. The girl was a damn mind reader. But just rambling on and on about what happened would most likely confuse the brunette.

"Well, things have been going downhill since we met you guys for lunch."

Alarms went off in Hikari's head. That didn't sound good.

"How exactly could it go _down_hill?"

The violet-eyed girl was clearly trying to calm herself enough to explain. The brunette waited patiently, though getting more and more anxious by the second.

"Well, that night, we went to dinner with our friend and my guardian."

"Setsuna-san and…?"

"Minako."

"Okay. What happened at dinner?"

"Mina-chan is also Rei's ex."

"Whoa. Back up! You two went to dinner with Rei-san's **ex**!"

"We were all friends even before those two went out. Remember? Minako helped raise me. We're a tight group."

"But dinner with an ex!"

"Yes, I know. Just listen. Rei was really in love with Minako. But Mina broke it off and a while later we learned she was with Setsuna-"

"Oh my god!"

The scream caused everyone in the restaurant to stare at the gaping brunette. Hotaru blushed while Hikari reminded frozen with shock. After a few embarrassing and tense minutes, the tall college student came to back to life.

"R-Rei's ex a-and S-Setsuna-san?"

A nod of confirmation threw Hikari into a black pit of disbelief. Well, she was swimming in a sea of confusion now so it didn't matter.

Poor Rei! To see the woman she loved and her new lover! God, she wouldn't know what to do if that was her.

"I'm afraid to ask, but what happened?"

"We were telling embarrassing moments when Minako brought up something Rei did while they were together."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Rei excused herself and I found her crying in the bathroom."

"She must have loved her a lot. I can't imagine Rei-san crying."

Hotaru sighed, looking years older at this point.

"And while Rei was venting or confessing or whatever it's called, Mina came in. And after a very…. interesting conversation, Minako was walking out and Rei confessed she still loved her."

Hikari sat, rooted to her seat. Poor Rei-san. Hell, poor Hotaru! It was more than obvious her friend was hopelessly in love with the older woman. She'd said so herself. Well, the shorter girl said she _liked_ Rei, but only a complete moron would think it was only _"like."_

And, oh yeah, Hotaru was jealous.

So, Hikari moved over and sat next to her classmate. The violet-eyed girl watched her cautiously but did nothing.

"So, how does this make _you_ feel?"

"What do you mean?"

Hikari sighed and wrapped an arm around Hotaru's slim shoulders.

"You don't have to pretend with me. I'm not Megumi, I won't freak. I know you love her. We _all_ do. Hearing her confess her love for Minako must have been hard for you."

Finally, Hotaru wrapped her arms around Hikari's waist and buried her face in her friend's bosom. The brunette tried to comfort the girl, but it would take a while before Hotaru would calm down. And to top it off, a restaurant was the last place for this.

So, Hikari managed to pay for their food and guide Hotaru out of the restaurant and into a nearby park. She found a secluded area and sat her distressed friend down on the grass.

"Hotaru?"

"That wasn't the worse part."

Hikari pulled the violet-eyed girl closer and ran her fingers through the short, raven hair. That always eased her.

"What else happened?"

"Well… this morning, a woman walked out of Rei's bedroom."

"What-" the realization then settled in the brunette's mind. "Oh."

The taller girl placed a gentle kiss on her friend's brow and just rubbed circles on her neck with her thumb while Hotaru cried on her shoulder. It's hard to know the person you're in love with loved another. She'd been in that situation with her boy- ex-boyfriend. And to know she was sleeping with someone else? That's even worse. The fact that they didn't love that person didn't not help either.

"Hikari?"

"Hmm…?"

"You want to know something else?"

The blue-eyed girl didn't know if she can handle any more information. For god's sake, this was one of the most complicated groups of friends and romances she's ever heard of!

"Yeah?"

"That day, before you guys first met Rei, I almost gave myself to her."

"What!"

Hotaru watched the expression of utter shock on her friend's face. It was even worse than when she told her about Minako and Setsuna. There was a sinking feeling in her stomach. How would Hikari see her now?

"Y-you what?"

The senshi strengthen her resolve. If Hikari didn't accept it, was she really a friend?

"I almost slept with her."

Blue eyes blinked a few times, still having trouble grasping the confession.

"H-how?"

Hotaru arched a brow. The action caused the brunette to blush softly.

"I mean, what happened?"

"Well, we were cooking. And for some reason, I got really close to Rei. Too close. And we were staring into each other's eyes. The spark was there. I saw the lust in her eyes… she wanted me, she wanted me bad."

A gulp interrupted her narration. From the look in Hotaru's eyes, the desire wasn't only one way.

"You're right," came the soft whisper. "It wasn't only one way. I wanted her. But I couldn't. It wasn't love. So, I moved away."

'**One of the hardest things I've ever had to do.'**

As if picking up on Hotaru's train of thought, Hikari squeezed her friend's hand. The pale girl managed a weak smile in return.

"That's very smart of you."

"I know it was the right thing to do, but why do I feel like shit?"

"Most of the time, the right thing is also the hardest."

Silence settled over the two. Hikari wondered just how much she didn't know about Hotaru while the violet-eyed girl allowed her mind to wander. What would she and Rei do now? She couldn't look her in the face without thinking about how close their lips were and how close she was to giving herself completely.

"What will you do now?"

"I don't know…"

Hikari placed her hand over Hotaru's. Violet eyes met firm gray.

"Hotaru, I don't know Rei-san well, I admit. But…" the tall brunette took a deep breath, trying to make the words in her head come out with the sincerity and reassurance her friend needed. "But from what I saw, the attraction _isn't_ only one way."

Hotaru opened her mouth when Hikari raised a hand to silence her. Seeing the seriousness in her classmate's eyes, the senshi wisely remained silent.

"I'm not talking about physical, though from your description, that's certainly there. I can see why, you're both very beautiful."

Hotaru blushed, looking down slightly. Hikari, however, forced her to look up again.

"The other day when I saw Rei-san, I realized she likes you too. It wasn't the friendly or family kind of love. She cares for you in a way that's beyond those kinds of ways. You can see it in the way she looked at you, the way she smiled at you. It was even more obvious when she touched you."

Violet eyes stared at the grim but comforting expression of her friend.

"For people like you and Rei-san, it's all in your eyes. And when I look into her eyes, I find myself looking into a reflection of yours. The same eyes, wise with experience and hiding powerful emotions for one another."

Hikari cupped Hotaru's face with her hand, eyes softening as she smiled.

"The fires I see are not only the hot blazes of lust, but the passionate flames of something deeper."

Hotaru was stunned to silence. She said Rei felt something for her. But… but… she wasn't someone anyone could love. Especially not Rei! Rei had forgotten all about love.

"H-Hikari, I appreciate what you're doing and all, but-"

"Shut up."

The dark-haired girl gaped. Her friend was a very refined young woman, being the heiress to a small fortune. Anything remotely vulgar has never passed through those pink lips!

The woman in question blushed softly. She just told Hotaru to shut up!

"Hotaru, I didn't mean-"

"It's fine. I understand."

Hikari smiled weakly at Hotaru's reassurance. Taking a deep breath, her expression became serious again.

"I know what you're thinking. I'm telling you that the person you're in love with has feelings for you too. And you deny it."

The brunette sighed before continuing. Hotaru wished she wouldn't.

"She's afraid to love because she's been hurt before. You can't be afraid too. Or else you'll never know what might have been. You _need_ to be the strong one."

Hotaru was silent and motionless. Her friend prayed she had not overstepped her bounds.

"You're right."

Hikari looked up, completely shocked. Violet eyes looked at her, an expression of both determination and fatigue on her young face.

"But, Hikari, her strength is one of the things I love about her. I-I don't want to be strong. I want to be weak. I don't want to fight anymore."

"Hotaru, I understand. But before Rei can be your champion and protect you, you must be hers. You have to. She needs you."

"I know you're right. But is it right for me to decide it for her? That I should be her champion?"

Hikari reached over and squeezed Hotaru's hand. Their eyes met as the brunette smiled.

"If she didn't choose you, why would she have feelings for you?"


	9. Wishing On The Stars

Fallen From Grace

After they finished lunch, Hotaru and Hikari decided that in order to help Hotaru deal with the situation, shopping was needed. So, six hours, fifteen shopping bags and forty-nine stores later, Hotaru walked tiredly into Rei's apartment. There had been no answer when asked the front desk to ring up, but she had been given the extra key.

The room was completely dark when she walked in. The blinds were all open, lighting the room by the silver light of the stars and moon.

Hotaru's first thought was that Rei went clubbing. So, she probably won't be home until three in the morning, and it was only eight. Better put the bags away.

As she walked across the living room, Hotaru realized something was on the couch. Curious, the young woman put down her bags and approached the motionless bundle.

To her surprise, a beautiful head covered by raven hair stuck out from the blankets. The sight of Rei sleeping on the couch, bundled up with blankets struck the college student to the core. She was just so damn beautiful. Especially when completely relaxed like that, curled up and using her arm as a pillow. The collected business woman looked like a kid waiting for Santa Clause.

'**Waiting?'** Hotaru thought, her eyes widening slightly. **'Was she waiting for me?'**

Excitement coursed through the young woman, a shiver going down her spine. If she was waiting for her, that means what Hikari said might be right. She does care, obviously, but perhaps in that way? Hope swelled in her heart, all doubts fleeting.

"Hotaru?"

Violet eyes blinked a few times, clearing her mind of her excited thoughts. Realizing the object of her affections was staring at her with a sleepy but concerned expression, Hotaru smiled softly,

"Hey, Rei. Nice nap?"

The miko stretched, giving Hotaru the perfect view of her muscles contracting and relaxing as the blanket slipped off her body and onto the floor. The young woman ripped her eyes away from the cat-like grace and the lean muscles of the miko before bending down and picking up the blanket.

Lavender eyes blinked a few times, clearing herself of the last remnants of sleep as her guest covered her once more with the fleece. Despite the messy hair and oversized Tee, Hotaru found her to be breath-takingly beautiful.

"Hm… yeah, it was good. I tried waiting for you but I guess I fell asleep."

Watching Rei rub her eyes tiredly made Hotaru both hot with excitement and guilty. She was overjoyed the miko had waited but hated the fact she was the reason the poor thing fell asleep on the couch.

"I'm sorry, I should have called."

The miko waved it off with her hand while snuggling deeper into the blankets.

"It's fine. No big deal. You're young, you should go out and have fun."

"Yeah, but-"

Rei grabbed Hotaru's hand, forcing the girl to quiet down. Her lavender eyes were exceptionally soft with understanding. It was rare to see the quick-tempered woman have such a look and Hotaru appreciated every second of it, drinking it in.

"If anyone understands the need to cut loose and just do whatever, it's me."

Getting a nod, the miko smiled softly and relaxed again. The other woman couldn't help but return the gesture.

"Hm… this is comfortable."

Hotaru smiled and bent down to brush some hair from the woman's eyes.

"You have to get up to go to bed."

A dark look passed over the serene features of the business woman. She looked out the window.

"I don't want to sleep in my bed."

The disgust in her voice shocked Hotaru. Did even Rei herself mind her lifestyle that much?

"Oh."

The miko brightened, seeing the downcast look on her companion's face. A hand reached up and grasped the other woman's hand.

"The couch is comfy. Besides, the stars are pretty tonight."

One thing Hotaru loved about this couch was that it faced the wall of the apartment that was completely glass. Even part of the roof was glass, giving them the perfect view of the city and the sky. Hotaru smiled and absentmindedly sat down.

"Yes, they are."

Hotaru leaned back, using Rei's mid-section as a back rest and the back of the couch as a pillow. She could feel Rei's chest rise and fall with each breath as the miko wrapped an arm over her stomach. The younger girl said nothing, though she was shocked by the gesture.

"Have you ever made a wish on the stars?"

It became quite clear to Hotaru that she was going to be continuously surprised by the miko tonight. She never expected to hear that question from Rei. Usagi-hime seemed like the type to believe in that kind of stuff.

"No, I can't say I have."

Rei looked curiously at Hotaru, lifting her head slightly to inspect the odd expression on the younger girl's face.

"Well, when I was little, I had everything I wanted, I didn't desire anything."

A dark look passed over Hotaru's peaceful features. "When I remembered everything, I realized it's pointless wishing for things. They don't often come true, if ever. It's just wishful thinking."

Hotaru fell silent, much to Rei's concern. She never knew just how dark the seemingly normal girl's life was. Fate has given her a terrible destiny.

"Besides," Hotaru whispered, looking in Rei's lavender eyes, "everything I would wish for can never come true."

The miko was shocked and could only stare dumbly at her friend. She had seen a brief ray of hope that dwelled in the girl's heart. Sure, reality and experience had dampened it greatly, but there was still something there. A shred of humanity, if you will. One who lived without hope lived in complete darkness. And one who lived in complete darkness was as good as dead. Like her.

"Well, I wished on the stars many times."

Hotaru arched a brow as she turned her eyes to the woman lying beneath her. Rei's eyes, however, were on the stars.

"Most of them were trivial. You know, like a bike, a dog and even to grow a few inches."

The memories brought a smile to both women's faces. The fiery miko sounded like such an innocent and normal child.

"But I wished for many other things too, especially as I grew older."

It didn't take a rocket scientist to deduct that the wishes involved two blondes. It was yet another blow to Hotaru's gut. No matter what happened or who stepped into the miko's life, the two blondes would always dominate her heart. And what she wouldn't do to change that.

"But there was always one thing I'd always wish for, no matter how old I was."

Rei turned her head and Hotaru was met by one of the most intense gazes Rei's ever given her. Considering the miko's sixth sense always managed to inform her of what everyone's deepest feelings and thoughts were, this was no easy accomplishment.

"What," Hotaru managed to force out, "was it?"

A sad smile replaced the serious and thoughtful grin as the amethyst orbs darkened with pain. Rei sighed, looking tired and defeated.

"To get married… and raise a family."

Hotaru sat, staring at Rei, completely speechless. The passionate and elusive Rei Hino wanted to settle down? To have a family? To get married? A quiet life did not seem appropriate for the spitfire. But it was what she wanted. It caused more questions to surface in the younger woman's mind. Just who _was_ the woman she thought she knew?

"Shocking, isn't it?" Rei asked mirthlessly. "You'd never guess it with what I'm doing."

Still, no words came from the senshi of Death. What was she supposed to say? What was she supposed to think? Nonetheless, she desperate yearned to say something… anything. The self-loathing and bitterness in Rei's voice was almost too much for her bear.

"Who would want me now?"

That snapped Hotaru from her stupor. Violet eyes bore into the miko's lighter ones, burning with an unusual passion.

"Don't ever say that."

"But it's true. Who would want me? I'm so tainted. A woman unable to let go of her love for her two best friends. A pathetic idiot who let their rejection crush her spirit and destroy any self-worth."

"Stop," Hotaru whispered. She had moved to face Rei, violet eyes dark with anger and sorrow. "Stop saying these things about yourself."

Unable to meet her friend's gaze, Rei turned away sadly.

"It's true."

A slim had reached over and took the miko's chin, forcing her to look back at that serious expression on the beautiful face. For once, Rei felt fear. Not fear of being hurt physically, Hotaru would never do that. No, this was another kind of fear.

Fear that someone would destroy the illusion she had created. The illusion that no one loved for her and no one will ever love her. This belief was what made Rei soil herself over and over again. She needed to believe no one would love her so she wouldn't fall again. Fall in love only to have her heart torn out and crushed.

No, she feared Hotaru in a way much deeper than physical pain. Hotaru threatened to destroy what she thought of herself, a pitiful creature unworthy of love. She knew her too well, cared for her too much.

'**No! She'll leave you too!'**

Rei squeezed her eyes shut. God, no. She couldn't stand the thought. But it'll come true. Hotaru will leave her soon. She will show her compassion and love only to take it away.

That is what Rei feared.

Why?

Because it's already begun.

She's begun to fall for her friend.

The one who gave up on love was starting to fall into its dangerous clutches again.

And this time, she would not be able to escape with her sanity. She was barely able to last time.

"Rei?"

Hotaru's voice broke through her thoughts, shattering the darkness in which she was surrounded. Strange wasn't it? A child that dwelled in darkness had become her light.

She felt two hands take hold of her face. The voice called her name again, firmer this time. Still, she did not open her eyes.

"Rei, listen to me. Open your eyes."

Even though she was completely panicked, Hotaru didn't allow her voice to show it. She was too busy being afraid that she'd lost Rei for forever.

Before she's ever had her.

"Rei, open your eyes. Please."

The plea seemed to reach the miko, seeing as how her eyes fluttered open.

"Rei."

Lavender eyes only stared back, unblinking. The fear returned, stronger than before. But there was no way Hotaru would let it control her. Not at a moment like this.

"Rei… how could you?"

The desperate question shook Rei was her self-pity. How could she? What was Hotaru asking her?

"How could you think so lowly of yourself?"

Ruby lips parted to answer the question, but froze at the hurt look in the other's violet eyes.

"How can you say I'm beautiful… when you hate yourself so? How dare you lecture me about how my self-disgust is unfounded when you can not do the same for yourself?"

Rei had no answer. For once, she was speechless… and guilty.

"Was it a lie then?"

Hotaru closed her eyes, hiding the tears. No, she wouldn't cry. Self-worth. How can she be worth anything if Rei thought herself worth nothing? How can the miko tell her she was beautiful when she had lost the ability to see her own beauty?

Warm arms pulled Hotaru into an even warmer body. The young woman molded perfectly into her companion's form. Unconsciously, she grabbed the front of Rei's shirt, holding onto for dear life.

"How can you know what beautiful is if you don't see it within yourself? You liar! How can you honestly say that to me without being able to see it in yourself?"

The anger in the younger woman's voice shocked Rei. The small body in her arms trembled.

"How dare you? How dare you not see how beautiful you are? How dare you think you're worthless? How dare you?"

Tears fell freely from Hotaru's eyes, dampening Rei's shirt. At the realization that the violet eyes shed tears for her, the miko allowed her own to fall,

"You have no right. You idiot… you idiot…"

The arms around the small frame tightened. Raven locks covered the small body as Rei buried her face in Hotaru's black hair. And they wept, Rei for her own pain and Hotaru for the knowledge that she couldn't help the miko out of this one.


	10. Parents Know Best

Fallen From Grace

The first rays of the sun crept through the quiet apartment. They made their ways to the two bodies on the couch. Lavender eyes fluttered open tiredly, looking around.

They fell on the small body nestled against her and a mop of black hair. The events of last night and the identity of the person struck her at the same time. Somehow, she managed not to move in fear of waking her friend.

Friend. Was that still right?

Yes, as friends they talked and cried last night.

But there was something new. Something… indescribable.

Mumbling came from the prone body half on top of her and half next to her. With an adoring smile, Rei took in the sight of a relaxed Hotaru Tomoe. She was beautiful.

The word brought back unwanted memories of last night. She didn't have enough energy to think about what had occurred and what Hotaru revealed to her.

'**Speaking of Hotaru,'** Rei thought suddenly, **'I should get her to her bed.'**

Carefully, the miko managed to stand without waking the dark haired youth. She then gathered the small body into her arms and headed for the guest room.

Once Hotaru was placed on the bed, Rei tucked her in.

'**So peaceful…'**

With a tired sigh and a goofy smile on her face, the miko walked towards the door.

"Rei?"

The woman turned back to the sleepy girl. With messy hair and barely open violet eyes, Hotaru looked too cute for words.

"Yeah?"

"Are you going back to the couch?"

Whoever thought Hotaru Tomoe had a habit of pouting? But the point was she did and she was certainly doing it now. The cuteness factor increased.

"Yeah, I am."

"Hmm…"

When Hotaru remained silent, Rei turned to leave. She was stopped when a quiet voice called her name again. Facing the girl in bed again, she discovered her moving over on the large bed. A hand lifted the covers.

"Y-you can join me if you'd like."

The offer was completely unexpected. Lavender eyes blinked several times, trying to decide whether or not she was hallucinating.

"I mean, the couch is pretty hard and can't be THAT comfortable, despite the fact we fell asleep on it last night."

The college student was trying frantically to decide if it had been a bad choice asking Rei to join her. What had possessed her to do it in the first place? She had no idea whatsoever.

The miko approached the bed slowly, looking at the girl already occupying it.

"Are you sure?"

A nod and a sleepy smile were her responses. Hotaru shifted over some more when she felt the bed sink under the additional weight. As Rei settled in, they both tried to avoid touching the other. Despite the tension and hesitation they felt, it took no time at all for them to fall asleep.

* * *

Rei awoke to the all too familiar sensation of a warm body next to hers. She wondered why the hell she'd be in bed with someone after that very interesting morning when Hotaru saw her… 'friend'.

Her nose detected faintly the smell of vanilla and cherries. Only one person smelled like vanilla and cherries…

Hotaru.

Sleep disappeared from Rei's system as she looked down at the body pressed against hers.

Hotaru was lying on her side, one arm draped over her stomach while burying her face in Rei's shoulder. The miko had one arm around the frail girl's shoulders and the other resting on the hand on her stomach.

A blush tainted the pale cheeks. This position was not at all new or unusual for her. But with Hotaru, it felt so…

Comfortable. And right. Never had she felt so relaxed in someone's arms. The warm body beside her made her feel all… _fuzzy_… inside. She felt… safe.

A murmur informed Rei of Hotaru's waking. Quickly, she closed her eyes and timed her breathing. Better let her guest move. _She_ didn't want to.

Hotaru snuggled closer to the body next to her.

Wait. BODY next to her?

Violet eyes snapped open. Rei was holding her close against the miko's body, a strong arm wrapped around her own petite waist.

Oh god! How did THIS happen? Sleeping in the same bed was so stupid!

And comfortable. She couldn't deny it. It felt very good to just lie in her arms and cuddle against Rei's warm body.

But she loved Minako and Usagi.

'**She's asleep,'** Hotaru thought with a smile. **'She'll never know.'**

Feeling brave and perhaps a bit stupid, the small girl raised her head and rested it on the miko's chest. She could fear her heart beating…

Rei was shocked when Hotaru didn't move away but got closer. The jet-black locks tickled her nose and neck, the feeling almost too much to bear.

"Why do you love them so?"

The breathless whisper was enough to shut down the miko's mind, and if she hadn't caught herself in time, her mouth would've opened in disbelief.

Hotaru sighed softly. Might as well ask, even if she won't receive an answer. She'd wanted to for so long now…

"What did they do to deserve your love? Why do you love them after they've hurt you so badly?"

Questions Rei has often asked herself. They have hurt her, yet she still cared for hem. Was she stupid? Or did she just have a thing for heartache?

"Is it for the same reason as me? Then… I guess we have something in common."

Everything came to a screeching halt in Rei's mind and if she wasn't already lying down, a feather would have knocked her onto her ass. What did Hotaru just say? She did love someone. Disappointment coursed through the miko, making her body burn while sucking all the energy from her at the same time.

"You'll awake soon, it's almost ten."

Hotaru gazed at Rei's peaceful face, half on top of her.

"You'll never know what I've said. But I almost wish you would… somehow."

A soft hand caressed Rei's cheek with utmost, and almost frightened, care. With another sigh, Hotaru climbed out of bed. Once she left the room, the miko's eyes snapped open and she gasped for breath.

* * *

Hotaru made her way tiredly over to the kitchen. The miko had left the apartment sometime in the afternoon and has yet to return. After calling Hikari and updating her on last night, the college student has been wandering around aimlessly. The internet had become dull and boring quite a few hours ago.

So, that's why she was blasting music and writing. Usually, she'd be overjoyed to have a moment to herself and simply write. But something was in the air today, unsettling her.

She was sure it had nothing to do with youma trying to destroy the world. It concerned Rei. And why the hell her guardians won't pick up their cell phones!

So, now the petite girl sat before an empty page, the fourth glass of water she's had in the past ten minutes beside her. A pen was tucked behind her ear, since she had no use for it at this point. Where was inspiration when you need it?

"I'll love you for tonight, then we're never to meet again. A thousand wishes, a million regrets and a billion nights filled with desire for you. But never again shall I stray down that road…"

With an annoyed growl, Hotaru crumpled the paper and chucked it across the room. Everything she wrote related to Rei and her damn feelings for her. The college student's inner desires were starting to make themselves known. She wanted the miko, no doubts about it. But one night of passion will lead to years of regret and wondering if it was just lust or something deeper that caused the miko to be with her for that night. And she had no desire to spend the next couple of hundred years with Rei wondering.

Well, maybe she could patrol the galaxy while Rei stayed on Earth with Neo-Serenity. But no, she couldn't stand to be away from the rest of them for too long.

Besides, it would ruin the relationship they had. How do you look your friend in the face after a night resulting in uncontrolled passion and lust?

You don't. At least, Hotaru wouldn't be able to. She'd be thinking of Rei's touch, her kisses and of the miko in ways she shouldn't. She would want Rei all the time.

And this is BEFORE they've even do anything? Like kiss? She was thinking way too much, about things that probably didn't even need to be thought about. Because she will never lose herself to her lust.

"I'll love you for tonight, then we are never to meet again… Geez Hotaru, this is a little depressing, isn't it?"

The violet-eyed girl knew who it was without having to look up. She stood quickly and all but flew into the waiting arms.

"Haruka-papa!"

"Hey, kid."

The tall blonde knew something was up when there was no protest from the shorter woman at the nickname. Instead, the small girl remained in her embrace while her own arms tightened around her "Papa."

'**This might take a while,'** Haruka thought, steering Hotaru back to the chair.

"All right, what's wrong?"

"Everything."

The urge to groan out-loud was crushed by the blonde's concern. The concern then caused the urge to throttle Rei into the ground to strengthen. They let Hotaru stay with her for just a few days and the young woman's now a total mess.

"All right, tell me."

Silence was the response for a while as Hotaru attempted to collect her thoughts. The guardian before her wasn't the best to discuss this with. How she wished Michiru-mama was here.

"Hotaru, Setsuna told us what happened that night during dinner."

The wince was unable to be suppressed, causing Haruka's anger to grow. Why couldn't Hotaru fall for a nice young man or woman without all the baggage Rei carried? What was it about the miko that intrigued her daughter so? Why did she love the lavender-eyed one with such a passion?

"The same reason you love me and I, you. She just does."

The serene voice caused both of them to look up, though it wasn't needed. Michiru Kaioh sat on the couch across the large office, knowing eyes trained on her family.

"Michiru-mama…"

At the sound of the soft whimper, the regal woman stood and made her way to her daughter. The dark-haired girl willingly fell into the violinist's arms, burying her face in the woman's bosom. Aquamarine eyes spared a look at her angry lover before returning to focus on the confused girl in her arms.

"It's okay, Hotaru. Everything will be fine."

Violet eyes suddenly glared accusingly at the two as the college student pulled away.

"Why didn't either of you answer your phones?"

An apologetic expression appeared on Haruka's face as she reached over to run her long fingers through her daughter's hair.

"Setsuna told us not to."

At the mention of the third parent, Hotaru's eyes narrowed, her body stiffening. The two older women shared a look.

"As angry as you are at Setsuna," Michiru murmured softly, "you have to remember that she loves you."

"I know that. I also know she loves another, and _that_ is the problem."

The tall racer sighed, love made people think and say the craziest things.

"Hotaru-chan, it's not Setsuna's fault she loves Minako. You can't help who you love. You just do."

The youngest Senshi was not going to be persuaded that easily. She needed someone to blame, and Setsuna was the perfect target. She knew the blame was misplaced, but couldn't seem to care.

"Hotaru, things happen for a reason. Believe it or not, there's a reason Rei loved Usagi-chan only to be rejected. And there _is_ a reason why things with Minako happened the way they did."

A soft growl came from the confused girl. A reason? Was there one besides to torment her love and make her unable to love? She'll give a shiny penny to whoever tells her what that reason was.

"Whatever the reason, it bites," she said instead.

The guardians of the petite girl shared a look, both amused, despite the situation. Love did always bring out the worse and best in people.

"So, are you going to stick at it or give up?"

The question struck Hotaru, silencing her as her brows furrowed. She loved Rei, that much was obvious. The miko had feelings for her, as Hikari pointed it, whether lust or otherwise, she didn't know. But she knew she couldn't walk away from the lavender-eyed business woman. Not now. On the other hand, could she continue to love a woman who, perhaps, did not have the ability to love anymore?

Michiru bent down and pulled a thoughtful Hotaru into another hug. Pulling away, her twinkling eyes gazed firmly into her daughter's darker ones, a smile on the older woman's lips.

"Don't give up."

Hotaru could only blink as Michiru walked over to Haruka, who stood in the middle of the room and wrapped her arms around her lover's neck. Then, as if to prove a point, the woman pulled her confused partner down and fixed upon her lips a passionate kiss.

"I didn't."

Before a comment could be made by either of the two other women in the room, the couple disappeared. Hotaru sat, silent while she contemplated her situation. After several minutes, she stood and walked out of the office. But not before smiling and looking up. She knew who was responsible for calling on her parents.

"Thanks, Setsuna-mama."

She really needed that.


	11. Take All Of Me

Fallen From Grace

That evening, when Rei Hino walked through the door of her apartment, the aroma of food reached her nose. This was especially strange for her, like she'd walked into another dimension or something. Whenever she came home, the only things that greeted her were darkness and silence. The emptiness of her apartment usually forced her to leave again.

But tonight, it was different. There was a… warmth she felt when she entered. Her lights were on and the sound of music brought life to her lonely home.

As usual, Rei left her bag by the door and quickly rid herself of her jacket. Anticipation like she's never known before coursed through her veins. True, it was obvious who was responsible, yet there was no way she'd believe it until she saw it.

A petite figure was swaying her hips to the beat of the music while bustling around the kitchen. Shocked, Rei leaned against the wall, staring at the young woman, mesmerized.

- Crawling in my skin,

These wounds they will not heal.

Fear is how I fall,

Confusing what is real. -

Well, not exactly something one can dance or shake that pretty ass of hers to, but who cares. As long as Hotaru kept shaking it, that's all that mattered. She seemed so much like a normal girl, dancing while making dinner and humming to herself. It also helped that the song was by one of Rei's favorite bands.

- There is something inside me that pulls

Beneath the surface, consuming, confusing.

This lack of self control

I fear is never ending, controlling

I can't seem, to find myself again. -

And now Rei remembered why. It struck too close to home. It reminded her that she couldn't control herself, her lust. Who was she beneath the desire to bed one person after another? Was there anyone left under the lust at all?

They seemed to go hand in hand. You couldn't say the name 'Rei Hino' without think of her many lovers. And you couldn't think 'sleeping around' without a picture of her to accompany it. After stripping her of her reputation, there was nothing left to see.

- My walls are closing.

Without a sense of confidence I'm convinced,

That it's just too much pressure to take.

I've felt this way before, so insecure.-

Rei's hands gripped the handle of the refrigerator. Oh god, no. Please, not now.

Images of Usagi flashed through her mind. The innocence, the light and the love she gave so unconditionally. To the blonde, a person was not plain good or evil. Everyone deserved to be loved, to have someone care for them.

Even the insufferable bitch. Rei Hino knew she was a complete bitch in junior high. She took great pride in the reputation she built. She was perfect. She had the brains, the looks, the attitude, the confidence and even the money, thanks to her so-called father. As a teenager, she was untouchable. No one could approach her, they weren't worthy. At least not in their own eyes. People surrounded her day in and day out. Of course, she was in no short supple of friends.

But none of them had really been friends. They had been fans of hers. Fans of the image she created. So, wasn't it surprising when Usagi Tsukino came around?

She was the opposite of everything Rei was: a cry baby, bad student, loud, whiny, a push over and yes, a blonde. So, why shouldn't she have the only thing Rei Hino didn't have?

Love.

No, not just the love of others. She had plenty of that. Everyone loved the blonde. _No_ one could resist her innocence. _No_ one could ignore her light. They were like moths to a flame. And for once, Rei Hino became a follower.

And the result shocked her. For the first time, someone loved Rei Hino. Yes, someone loved her. Loved her despite her temper, cruel teasing, arrogance and even her pride. Usagi even told her once that she loved Rei BECAUSE of her faults. She had said they made her who she was. And who she was, was a person more than deserving of love.

With that, Rei Hino's shields cracked. Her walls came tumbling down. For the first time, someone was allowed into her heart. And what could she do but love the blonde back?

Well, it wasn't that simple in the beginning. Before Usagi's world shattering, or mask shattering, confession, the miko tormented her to no end. Hell, she even went out with Mamoru just to spite Usagi. She even tried to turn against Sailor Moon.

It was natural. It was her self-defense mechanism. You see, all of them had one. Each of the senshi.

Ami buried herself in her studies, computer and books, making herself undesirable to most people. Makoto kept them away by fighting- who would want to be friends with someone that can snap you in two? They were all touched and loved by Usagi. And they all loved the blonde in return.

Until Rei began to love her in a way _deeper_ than friendship. It nearly drove her mad. And it only got worse after Mamoru was revealed to be Usagi's prince. Damn, shut down in two ways. First it was her boyfriend. Second, he was the one destined to be with the one she loved. Oh god, life bites.

But she continued to love Usagi. Then ChibiUsa appeared.

The cursed Moon brat. Well, case closed. It was one thing to know your beloved was _destined_ to be with another, it was _another_ to see proof.

In the form of a daughter.

There was no one that could understand how she felt. She was completely broken hearted.

But as always, she pieced herself together. True, she couldn't be the same, but nonetheless she forged on.

Then came "The Talk."

Usagi told the miko she knew of her love. But, as they both knew, it could never be. The blonde simply didn't love her that way, and would never love her that way.

Dear Mother Earth, that would have been the perfect time to open up and swallow her. But it didn't. And Rei was forced to continue living on.

"Rei?"

Hotaru's voice brought the miko from her thoughts.

- There is something inside me that pulls

Beneath the surface.

Confusing what is real. -

A whimper caused Hotaru to freeze. She was pretty sure _she_ wasn't the one that whimpered. And the only other person that would be in the house was Rei.

After taking a deep breath, she turned. Please, she hoped the whimper wasn't because she thought her dancing was horrible!

One look at Rei banished that thought from her mind. Actually, it banished **all** thought from Hotaru's mind.

The woman stood at the refrigerator, her knuckles white from the death grip on the handle. Her brows were furrowed, something Rei always did when in deep thought. But it was her eyes that caused Hotaru to freeze.

Her lavender eyes were dark, a pained expression etched on her face. But they were twinkling at the same time… with unshed tears.

The motionless figure whimpered yet again.

Despite not knowing what was wrong, Hotaru knew she had to do _something_. First, snap her the hell out of her stupor.

Walking closer to Rei, a list of things to say raced through her mind. None, however, seemed appropriate. So, stick with what you know.

"Rei?"

Glazed eyes blinked several times as Hotaru saw the miko return. Slowly, Hotaru reached over and touched the other's cheek. Large eyes, shocked by the sudden touch, widened further when a single tear held on the tip of the younger girl's finger was brought to her attention.

'**She doesn't even know she's crying.'**

Rei quickly wiped away the tears, smiling in attempt to throw Hotaru off.

"What smells so good?"

Pink lips parted to speak when violet eyes caught sight of the pleading look in the eyes of her beloved. The question died as Hotaru stood and pulled Rei to her feet. The former turned, giving the other a chance to regain her composure. The miko smiled softly. Only Hotaru.

"I'm making fish soup."

At the mention of fish, the taller woman paled. Hotaru was a good cook when it came to noodles and rice. But was she capable of making something like fish soup?

"Try this."

A long, wooden spoon was held in front of the miko. Seeing the expression on the younger girl's face, ruby lips parted as the tip of the spoon was placed in her mouth.

Light colored eyes widened as the taste of the soup danced on her taste buds. It was not only edible, it was absolutely delicious! Who knew Hotaru could cook this well?

Hotaru laughed at the bewildered expression on Rei's face. Thank god she took cooking lessons from Michiru and Makoto. It was true they resulted when Michiru-mama saw the state of the kitchen when Haruka-papa tried to cook. But thank god none of the sea nymph's threats came true and Haruka had been, for the most part, unharmed.

"Surprised I can cook?"

As much as Rei longed to wipe that annoying and cocky smile off Hotaru's face, she couldn't help but think of how annoyingly cute she looked. Better stick with instincts.

"Considering Haruka raised you, yes."

Hotaru was more than prepared for Rei's comment. She knew the miko would say something like that. Her pink lips curled into a mocking smile. It was amusing to see the fiery woman pale.

"At least mine is edible. More than I can say about the curry and rice you made for ChibiUsa-"

A single finger pressed against the moving lips, silencing the younger woman. To say the action shocked her was putting it lightly. As she stood there, eyes wide, Rei was struck again by her beauty. She looked like an innocent angel, frozen with disbelief. For once, Hotaru's violet eyes reflected everything she was feeling. Pale cheeks were tainted with a rosy blush, making the powerful senshi look like a love stuck school girl.

Hotaru's brain was utter mush. Rei was NOT touching her lips with her finger. This was like the other day all over again and they were in the kitchen… again. One difference, her secret love held all the cards this time. She could do whatever she wanted and Hotaru knew she'd go along with it, no complaints. After all, who could say no to those eyes?

Rei knew she had Hotaru's undivided attention. Her violet eyes were trained on the miko, unblinking. For the first time, the senshi of fire felt uncomfortable under another's gaze. She's always known exactly how to play the game to keep all eyes on her. She loved attention.

But Hotaru's intense eyes were something different. They paralyzed her, all thoughts fleeing her mind. It would be so simply to take her right there and then. A simple kiss and she'd be in her arms. Her guest would not resist.

The look in her eyes told her so. She trusted Rei completely. She was so innocent, so pure. The senshi of Death and Destruction, not to mention Rebirth, stared at her, eyes unguarded. She was the miko's to take.

Hotaru's breath caught in her throat when Rei leaned closer to her. Anticipation pumped through her veins. So the businesswoman has decided. This time, she wouldn't resist.

Rei saw the excitement in the shorter girl's eyes as she removed her finger. She continued moving closer, the girl's scent both intoxicating her and bringing her to the edge of her sanity.

Seconds stretched into years as Hotaru felt Rei's body move closer and closer. All she could focus on were those full lips. The lips she's dreamed of for years. And they were getting closer to her own. She could practically feel them on hers. Sweet sin.

Rei needed not move too much farther to claim her friend's pink lips. Hotaru's ragged breath fell on her neck, charging her. This was it.

The college student wondered if Rei could hear her pounding heart. Their lips were separated by a single layer of molecules. Finally.

The ruby lips touched Hotaru's cheek.

Rei drew away from the kiss, noting Hotaru's wide eyes. They turned to her, confused.

The miko barely controlled her own need, crushing to urge to kiss Hotaru's pouty lips.

There were no words to describe how the violet-eyed girl felt at that point. She was snapped back to reality and felt as if she's been slapped.

The darkening of Hotaru's eyes almost sent Rei's self control out the window. But no, she couldn't.

A hand caressed the shorter girl's pale cheek, causing their eyes to meet. The miko smiled weakly and opened her mouth to speak.

'**Tell her!'** She shouted mentally, **'Tell her you don't want to hurt her! Tell her you don't want to do something just because you were caught up in the moment. Tell her you don't want her to do something she'll regret later! Tell her, damn it…'**

"Let's eat."

Hotaru could only stare at the woman she loved. 'Let's eat?'

For once, Rei wished she had Makoto's power over nature and earth. That way, she could arrange for a nice hole to appear beneath her and swallow her whole.

'Let's eat!' Was she insane? That was NOT what she meant to say.

"Hotaru-"

"Sure, you must be hungry."

Hotaru turned around, afraid to let Rei see the tears collecting in her eyes. So, the miko didn't care for her like that. Why else wouldn't she take the opportunity to kiss her? She was clearly giving her permission to. What went wrong?

* * *

Hotaru moved silently, her destination in sight. Despite being one in the morning, light came from the open door. It had been shut almost completely to keep the light pouring from it at a minimum.

Stepping in, violet eyes soon found the woman behind the desk. Raven hair was pulled back in a sloppy ponytail to prevent it from getting in the way of the focused, dark eyes.

Hotaru didn't know whether to scold Rei for staying up so late or admire her work ethic. Settling for somewhere in the middle, she knocked on the door.

"Huh?"

Rei looked up, blinking in surprise. Her glasses perched on the tip of her nose, giving her a very scholarly look. A smile graced her features at the sight of the girl waiting in the doorway.

"Oh, hey! What are you still doing up?"

Hotaru crossed the distance between them and handed the miko the cup in her hands. She was given an appreciative smile and watched the older woman cradle the tea in her hands.

"I should be asking you that question."

The miko smiled sheepishly and looked at the clock.

"I need to get these reports done and these papers signed. Besides, I didn't even notice the time."

Hotaru let her annoyance show as she sat down on Rei's desk at a clean spot. The other woman seemed to back away slightly, though she never looked away from the violet orbs of the girl perched on her desk.

"Then why did you ask me why I'm still up?"

"Simple, you said you were going to bed a while ago."

The answer and the cocky smirk were the classic Rei Hino retort. Letting it slide, silence settled over them. Yet again, it was an awkward silence. What with the situation they were in only a few hours ago. However, neither dared to talk about it.

"So, how much longer are you going to take?"

Rei's eyes browsed over the papers on her desk.

"Another hour or two."

"I hope you don't plan on going to work tomorrow."

Rei smiled softly at Hotaru's protective tone. She will never get used to being scolded by the young woman. It was touching, of course. Everyone gave up on trying to get her to listen.

"I have to," Rei said and seeing her friend's protest, she quickly cut the younger girl off. "But only for a short while."

Hotaru considered the woman's words. The taller woman was the founder of one of the fastest growing businesses. Already, she hasn't been to work for three days. The work must be piling up, like the ones on her desk.

"Hotaru, why don't you go sleep? I'll be done in a while. No use waiting up for me."

The girl considered this and nodded. Bidding her long time crush goodnight for the second time, she walked out. The miko smiled adoringly before going back to work.


	12. Numb and Blind

Fallen From Grace

A pair of sleepy eyes opened when the alarm clock blared. She needed to get a quieter one. Promising herself coffee, Rei crawled out of bed and into the bathroom. After a nice, long shower, she walked into the kitchen, ready to grab some coffee and leave.

But a plate of eggs, bacon and toast was waiting for her, along with the liquid she so needed. Any signs of sleep left her as she stared at the food.

"G'morning."

Slowly, she turned to the sink, spotting Hotaru cleaning. She didn't return the customary greeting, still in a state of complete shock. No one's ever made her breakfast. Something in the miko stirred.

"Hurry and eat. I don't know _how_ you get to work on time."

At the mention of work, Rei snapped out of her reverie and walked over to the plate of breakfast. Hotaru watched as the taller woman slowly brought some of the eggs to her lips before taking a bite.

"You don't like it? I can cook something else," the college student said, reaching over to take the plate.

Rei grabbed the plate, shaking her head furiously.

"It's not that. It's just that no one's ever made me breakfast before, I'm surprised."

Hotaru smiled softly as Rei ate her breakfast. She was happy that she was the first to do something as simple as cook breakfast for her love. Very happy. But sad at the same time.

As Hotaru washed the dishes, Rei walked into her room to change. Before she left the kitchen, however, she paused and looked back at her friend.

"Taru?"

"Yea?"

Rei hesitated, but seeing Hotaru's expression of anticipation, she smiled.

"Want to come to work with me?"

* * *

The receptionist at the entrance of the large office building gawked as Rei Hino walked in, a young woman following behind her. The entrepreneur walked over to the shocked blonde, taking a newspaper and wishing her a good morning. The other dark-haired woman bowed politely, which the receptionist returned in her shocked state. As Rei and Hotaru stepped toward the elevator, the young blonde's eyes never left them. She vaguely wondered how the workers at Rei's company would react.

All eyes turned to the elevator as the doors opened. They all knew their other boss would be coming to work today.

As Rei Hino stepped out of the elevator, all jaws dropped to the floor.

Hotaru fidgeted slightly under all the intense and surprised looks she received. The woman beside her mumbled something before walking down the aisle of offices and cubicles. The youngest senshi followed quietly.

The entire office was, for lack of a better word, stupefied. Though all knew of their boss' lifestyle, never has she brought anyone to the office. And damn, was she a looker.

The girl was clearly younger than Rei, but not by too much. She seemed to be the complete opposite of the long-haired business woman. While the miko wore a black skirt suit with a red blouse, the other girl sported a simple white Tee with low rise jeans and a dark blue vest.

The girl walked with an air of confidence, though she didn't radiate it like her counterpart. Whereas Rei held herself with a 'kiss my feet, I'm superior and you know it' attitude, her companion was reserved and shy. She was charming in her own kind of way.

All in all, they looked like a very strange but cute couple.

Hotaru walked leisurely down the aisle, though making sure to keep up with her friend. She ignored the looks, focusing on the woman ahead of her. Already there were five people around the miko, with papers and palm pilots. All of them looked at her in curiosity, but returned to talking to their boss.

The popular woman made her way to her office. She's barely here for a minute and already she's had mountains of work piled on top of her. A pang of regret struck, making her wonder if bringing Hotaru was a good idea. Leaving in a few hours was impossible.

Hotaru found the enraged woman's plight amusing, to be honest. True, part of her wanted to have them leave her be, but this was business. Rei stormed into her office and slammed the door shut in everyone's face, including her friend's.

The young woman stood outside the door, smiling. She wondered how long it would take Rei to realize she was the only one in her office and open the door to pull her ins-

At that point, the wooden door flew open and a strong hand grabbed Hotaru wrist.

'**Not long,'** Hotaru thought as she was pulled into the large office and the door slammed shut once again.

Everyone in the office smiled and shook their heads. This would be amusing indeed.

* * *

"Oh god."

The college student could only smile as the woman collapsed into her chair, face buried in her arms.

"Oh Rei, quit exaggerating."

"Hmph ma magh baetin!"

"What did you say?"

Rei looked up, lavender eyes glaring at her amused friend. "I said I'm not exaggerating!"

This earned a soft chuckle from the college student. The miko groaned again.

"So much work."

Unable to resist, Hotaru rolled her eyes. The miko stood to get some files in the attached room.

"Mind if I use your phone?"

"Sure thing, Taru."

A slender finger dialed a familiar number. No one was picking up, where could Sarah be?

Suddenly, a pair of arms wrapped around Hotaru from behind. Pulling her to a strong chest, a male and very happy voice spoke.

"Rei! You're finally back in the office!"

Rei walked into her office and then froze. From the look on Hotaru's face, she could tell her friend was very, very confused.

"Kenji! Let her go!"

Brown eyes blinked as they focused on the angry woman. If she was there, then who-

"Gah! Sorry, Miss!"

The blonde man started to bow repeatedly, a blush appearing on his tanned cheeks. Rei walked over to them, ready to pound Kenji into the ground.

"Baka! What was that about!"

"I thought she was you! You're usually the only one in the office, so I didn't bother checking!"

Lavender eyes flared as the miko advanced. How dare he touch Hotaru? A hand was placed on her arm, calming the raging businesswoman immediately.

"It's all right, Rei. No harm done. He didn't mean anything, right… uh…"

The blonde man took this chance to bow, seeing his partner's temper cooling at the touch of the short woman.

"Kenji, Kenji Parker."

Hotaru bowed in return. "Pleasure to meet you, Mr. Parker."

"Just Kenji, please. Any friend of Rei's is a friend of mine, Miss…"

"Tomoe, Hotaru Tomoe."

"The-"

"What did you want?" Rei snapped. Hotaru might have forgiven him, but she sure as hell hasn't.

"I was just here to tell you that the Osborn Brothers Incorporated meeting has been moved up to tomorrow and-"

"Tomorrow? It was _supposed_ to be next week! I haven't even gotten a chance to review everything yet. Heck, I know almost _nothing_ about the merger."

Kenji back away from the enraged woman, though his voice showed no fear. When dealing with Rei Hino, showing fear was not a very smart idea.

"I'm sorry, I know. But they called this morning, saying an emergency has come up and the senior presidents are leaving the day after tomorrow. This merger is a big deal for them so they don't want anyone else handling it."

Rei sank into her seat, losing her composure for a second. Then, as if shocked back into reality by the deadline, she stood.

"I want all the files regarding the merger on my desk in five minutes. I want our people in the conference room in an hour. Is that understood?"

The young man nodded and sped out of the large office. The miko took off her jacket and tossed it on the couch. Then, as if realizing Hotaru was still in the room, she calmed.

"Sorry, Hotaru. I won't be able to have lunch with you today."

The younger woman just smiled. "It's fine, I have to take care of some things anyway. See you later?"

Lavender eyes focused on the smile on the young woman's face, unable to resist flashing her one of her own in response.

"Of course."

* * *

The receptionist smiled when the girl with Rei Hino walked back into the building. When she left in the morning, the woman had thought the dark-haired business woman had screwed up the relationship. Though it was none of her business, she was glad to see the short woman return.

People once again stared when they saw Hotaru step out of the elevator.

"Hey! Miss Hotaru!"

Violet eyes scanned the office, landing on Kenji. The young woman smiled.

"Hello, Mr.-"

"Just Kenji."

"Then you must call me Hotaru, no Miss."

Kenji nodded, grinning like a fool. This girl was so meant for Rei. Heck, if she and his partner didn't work out, maybe he had a chance.

"Sure thing. Rei's going to be in the meeting for a few more hours, but they should be taking a lunch break soon."

Hotaru looked at her watch and sighed. She handed Kenji the white bag she held.

"Give this to Rei? It's her favorite. It'll probably still be warm by the time you give it to her. I have to go meet someone. Can you tell her I'll be back at six?"

Kenji could only nod as Hotaru thanked him and left. He stared at the bag, the grin widening.

"Yup, she's the one for Rei."

* * *

The miko sighed in frustration as she ran a hand through her hair. It was already midnight, and she _still_ didn't know everything necessary for the Jasmine Corps and Osborn Brothers Incorporated merger. Kenji and their other partner, Utena Takahashi, were still in the office as well, along with all the employees working on this deal.

Rei took a sip of her coffee and looked at the document before her. This sucked. She's been working on it for 14 hours straight. Well, thirteen and a half since she had to eat lunch.

Lunch.

Hotaru.

A smile touched her lips at the thought of the raven-haired college student. When Kenji brought in the food and told Rei it was from her house guest, she just froze, jaw somewhere on the other side of the world. It must have amused and shocked the employees to see their fast talking, confident and somewhat arrogant boss completely shocked (not to mention speechless) because someone brought her lunch.

'**Oh well,'** she thought, her smile widening into a goofy grin**. 'Hotaru delivering lunch is worth a crack in my poker face.'**

She called an immediate lunch break, though it lasted only half an hour. She was planning on staying in there without bothering to eat lunch. But how could she ignore Hotaru's gesture of affection? It touched her even more that the girl knew what her favorite was.

"Pye."

Lavender eyes looked up, glaring at the one who interrupted her thoughts. When they settled on the shy-looking, black-haired woman, they softened.

"Yeah, Utena?"

Her short partner walked in. If her eyes were violet instead of brown, she'd look like Hotaru. The thought of the college student caused her to smile.

"Thinking about your girl?"

The glare returned full force. Shy-looking was far from the truth. Utena teased Rei mercilessly, though it was obviously the woman's form of caring. Well, obvious for those that knew Utena.

"She's not my girl."

The brown-eyed woman saw the sadness in her partner and friend's eyes, though it disappeared in a flash. Rei turned her attention back to the documents before her.

"She's nice."

The statement caused the miko to look up sharply. As monotonous and indifferent as it sounded, it was Utena's approval. That was the first time the woman's ever said something positive about someone Rei associated with. Her friend was highly protective and disapproved of the miko's lifestyle.

'**Funny,'** Rei thought dryly, **'she approves of the _one_ person that I'm not involved with. The one I don't have a chance in _hell_ with.'**

"That's a first," she said simply.

Utena shrugged. "I've spent most of the night with her. She _is_ nice."

"Most of the night?"

Utena rolled her eyes and turned, motioning for Rei to follow her. Despite her better judgment, the miko did.

The cinnamon-eyed woman opened her office door. Lavender eyes widened, shocked.

Hotaru was curled up on Utena's leather couch, a blanket draped over her petite form. Her violet eyes were closed as her chest rose and fell rhythmically.

"She's been wanting for you since six. Poor thing fell asleep half an hour ago."

Rei walked over, running her hand through Hotaru's hair. The young woman shifted to get closer to the touch, smiling.

Utena watched her partner. She had it bad for the sleeping girl. Her eyes openly twinkled with adoration. Did _she_ know it though? She would fall in love with Hotaru Tomoe soon, if she hasn't already.

No words could describe what Rei felt. Hotaru waited for her. It's been a long time since anyone's done that. She also brought her lunch and cooked for her. All the small things affected Rei as much as the fact that the senshi stayed with her when she was hurt and after the incident with Minako.

In four short days, she's come to care for the girl like for no other. And the most amazing thing was Hotaru cared for her as well. That was the most beautiful thing she's had for what seemed like forever.

The feelings developing were not unfamiliar. She thought she'd never feel them again and it both scared her and excited her.

Looking at the peaceful girl, she knew it was pointless to fight it, because Hotaru already made her way into her cold heart.

"I'm leaving."

Rei effortlessly scooped the small girl into her arms, making sure her head rested comfortably against her shoulder as she stood.

"Can you get my briefcase and the papers from my office?"

Utena didn't bother hiding her grin as she hurried into Rei's office. The miko walked through the hallway, ready to go home.

Everyone still left in the office turned when the miko walked by. They all stood, staring as she carried Hotaru through the office. Most of them bad bet that Hotaru was more than a friend in the betting pool they started earlier that day. Others, believing in Rei's lack of commitment and ice cold heart, decided differently. And they were losing miserably at that point.

Kenji was smiling like a madman. Oh yeah, he knew it. Now, time to start collecting bets on the wedding date.

Utena walked over to the elevator to find a very annoyed Rei standing there. It seemed that no one would help her push the button, wanting to keep staring at the adorable sight their boss made.

Utena herself almost stopped just to stare. The glare her partner gave her, however, convinced her to do otherwise.

Without saying anything, Rei knew Utena would follow her to the garage as they stepped into the elevator. After all, how else would she be able to open the car door without putting Hotaru down?

"Rei, do you like her?"

The question was almost enough to send the miko off balance. Her hold on the precious woman in her arms tightened.

"W-what?"

"Do you? Really. Is she another fling?"

Rei swallowed, suppressing the urge to punch her mentor and long-time friend. Fling? Hotaru? First off, they weren't even dating or romantically/sexually involved, they were just friends. Second, even if they were together, she would never to that to Hotaru. Anyone else, yes, she'd do so without a thought, but Hotaru was too special.

"Because if it is, break it off," Utena continued, ignoring the murderous look being thrown at her. "Your flings are exactly that, flings. You never consider that the person you just took to bed has feelings. You never care. I should know, **I** was just a fling."

Ruby lips parted, an apology on the tip of her tongue. Utena, however, bulldozed right along. She couldn't afford to give Rei a second to regain her composure or a second to think. If she did, whatever she was about to say would fall on deaf ears.

"That's why I disapprove of your lifestyle. Not only is it hurtful to yourself but to others as well. Most might be looking for a one night stand, but some are not."

Brown eyes captured the confused lavender orbs in a gaze so intense it almost made Rei flinch. There was a hint of sadness in the caramel spheres and even, though as little there was, a bit of hatred.

"You pretend you care about them, that you're interested with the little flirting games you play. But you're not. You lure them in, only wanting their bodies."

The elevator doors opened. Rei shot out quickly, hoping to escape from Utena's words. But the woman would not let her. Could not let her this time.

"**That's** why I disapprove of your girlfriends and boyfriends. Because they're not _smart_ enough to realize the truth. Because they're not strong enough to deal with you, Hino."

They were in front of Rei's car, the intense speech making the short stroll across the parking lot seem like an eternity. Rei kept her eyes lowered, grip on Hotaru tight. She hoped Utena would stop, prayed that she would.

"That's why when I saw her, I almost killed you. How _dare_ you? How can you lead her on, Hino? She's not some stranger you met in a club! She's a friend you've known for _eleven_ years. And to make it worse, she obviously loves you!"

A choked gasp was all the raven-haired girl could get out. The statement was a wake up call, a slap in the face. Rei desperately fought to keep standing, knowing her embrace was keeping Hotaru off the ground. Without the precious weight, the miko would be on her knees.

Hotaru loved her? But that wasn't possible.

Utena watched the emotions play out on Rei's face, it was the first time she's ever seen her feelings so clearly displayed. She looked away with a sad smile, no longer able to stand the sight of the woman she once loved.

"Are you so numb that you don't even realize her love for you?"

Complete silence. Utena walked over to the car and opened the passenger side door, throwing Rei's briefcase onto the backseat. The raven-haired woman stood still as her friend turned away from her.

"If you're still human, then think this through. Don't hurt her like you did the others. She deserves better than to be thrown away carelessly like trash after you have your way with her."

The clicking of Utena's heels echoed in the empty parking lot. After several minutes of just standing there, Rei placed Hotaru into the passenger side seat and buckled her up. But she couldn't pull away. Lavender eyes stared at the peaceful features… at the pink lips that curved softly into a content smile.

And she felt her heart break.


	13. Advice For The Disillusioned

Fallen From Grace

Hotaru was surprised to find herself in her bed. Well, her bed at Rei's, anyhow. Nor was she in her clothes from yesterday, but a pair of blue shorts and a white tank top.

What was she doing yesterday anyway? Oh yes, talking to Utena Takahashi. And then… falling asleep.

Hotaru's face heated once she realized she hadn't been awoken last night. So that meant…

Ah! Why hadn't she been awake when Rei carried and changed her? The idea of Rei's hands on her caused a blush to form on her cheeks. The miko wouldn't let anyone else carry her either, she knew.

Speaking of the business woman, Hotaru slipped out of bed to look for her. Nothing.

"Where is s-"

That's when the college student noticed a piece of paper on the fridge with Rei's neat but tiny handwriting.

_Hotaru,_

_I'm sorry, but I have a really important meeting today. I'll most likely be back pretty late. There's some food in the fridge, but feel free to order something, there's money under the cookie jar. Call the office if you need to reach me. Have a nice day!_

_-Rei_

A soft sigh broke the silence of the apartment as Hotaru grabbed the juice and popped two waffles into the toaster from the fridge. Of course Rei wasn't home. It'd be too easy if she was.

A pale hand grabbed two waffles from the toaster once they were done and tossed them onto a plate. Juice and waffles with maple syrup will just have to do. She didn't have much of an appetite. She was too busy thinking about Utena Takahashi.

-Flashback-

Hotaru giggled as Kenji told her about the time he spilled coffee all over Rei. The blonde was hilarious! Handsome, nice and funny. There must be plenty of girls chasing him.

"So, then Rei goes, 'I know you want to see my body, but coffee? Can you just use water next time?' If I wasn't such a nice guy and completely embarrassed, I would've creamed her!"

Raven locks flew in the air as the young woman shook her head. No one can cream Rei. The two of them were standing in front of the miko's office and Kenji moved to knock when a cold voice stopped him.

"You can never cream Rei. And I wouldn't go in there if I were you."

Both turned around to find a young woman standing behind them. Unlike most people in the office, who dressed very casually for the most part, she wore a black business skirt suit and a white blouse. Her classic Asian beauty shocked Hotaru almost as much as her cold brown eyes. She stood there, unmoving, eyes boring into the college student's.

"Hey! Hotaru, meet Utena Takahashi. Utena, this is Hotaru Tomoe, Rei's friend. Utena here's the genius of the merger world. It was her idea to start this company."

"It's a pleasure to meet you," Hotaru said with a polite bow.

Utena was much less enthusiastic and bowed her head slightly. The youngest senshi tried not to feel insulted when the woman ignored her.

"Where have you been?" the harsh tone was enough to make Hotaru wince inwardly. This woman was obvious not as kind and cheerful as the blonde man besides her. She wanted to say something, but Kenji only smiled.

"Sorry, Tena, I went out for lunch and fell asleep at the park."

Violet eyes narrowed in preparation for the verbal beating of the blonde young man. To her surprise, Utena's expression softened slightly, though her tone did not.

"Don't do it again. Pye wants to talk to you. Bring in the stock reports."

Firm brown eyes then turned to Hotaru. Anyone else would have shrunk away in fear, especially when Kenji ran off. But, she was Hotaru Tomoe, the one that invented cold and impassive masks. After several minutes of staring into each other's indifferent eyes, Utena surprised Hotaru again by smiling softly. The woman was clearly impressed by her show of guts.

"It'll be a while before they're done. And even longer until Rei's finished. You can wait in my office, seeing as how Kenji can barely fit himself in his and finding a place for you will be next to impossible."

Hotaru felt herself smiling back at the strict woman. Despite what she appeared to be, Utena Takahashi was a very nice person, from what she could tell.

Hotaru soon found herself in a very neat and comfortable office. The couches were not leather, but soft cloth, brown to go with the very natural and wooden look of her office. Two huge bookcases sandwiched a large, mahogany desk in front of a black leather chair.

"Sit, please."

Hotaru complied and smiled at her hostess.

"Is tea all right? I don't have any coffee right now."

The slight annoyance in Utena's voice was amusing, not insulting. That's because both women knew the businesswoman was annoyed at herself for not having coffee, in case that's what her guest wanted rather than annoyed at her guest for being a nuisance.

"Tea's perfect. I'm not a big coffee person."

Utena walked over to the coffee table with a silver tray and placed a cup of tea before her guest. Much to Hotaru's pleasure, Utena sat to her right in a plush chair and not behind her desk. A fine brow was raised at the younger girl's confession.

"Really? Neither am I, to be honest. I don't see _how_ Rei can practically inhale the stuff."

Brown eyes watched in amusement as the tension faded at the mention of a certain miko. A small and tender smile touched the college student's lips.

"Neither do I. And before she gets it in the morning-"

"She's a _living_ hell. Cranky is a major understatement."

The comment earned a soft giggle from the short-haired girl. Utena herself relaxed visibly.

"So, tell me about yourself Tomoe-sa-"

"Hotaru, please."

Purple eyes watched in fascination as Utena nodded slowly. Utena Takahashi was a beautiful woman and Rei seemed to love surrounding herself with beautiful women. Hotaru didn't mind that her hostess didn't ask her to call her by her first name. Utena looked like the kind of person who didn't just allowed anyone to be on friendly terms with her.

"May I ask how old you are?"

"Of course, I'm nineteen."

Utena furrowed her brows at the new piece of information and shifted uncomfortably. Nineteen. Rei _really _loved pushing the age limit.

"Did you meet Rei at a club?"

Hotaru frowned despite herself. So, Utena was familiar with the miko's lifestyle. And judging by the brown eyes staring at her intently, the woman was ready to kick her out of her office if the answer is 'yes.'

"No, we've been friends for years."

The older woman arched a brow, the only piece of evidence of the shock and disbelief she felt. Friends? Years? So this girl wasn't one of Rei's many flings. Then what was she? Because it was obvious _'friend' _wasn't the way to classify Hotaru. More like, 'Rei's work in progress.'

"Really? How many years?"

Hotaru didn't mind being interrogated. Actually, it was touching how much Utena cared about Rei. At that point, she came to a conclusion. Kenji was the one that 'felt' out Rei's many flings just by interaction while Utena had a more direct approach.

"Eleven years."

Flabbergasted was too weak a word. So, Hotaru Tomoe was one of "The Nine," the people most important to Rei Hino. She spoke highly of them but never bothered with names. Utena's never even met one of them until now, and she's known Rei for a good 7 years.

So, could this mean Rei _wasn't_ interested in Hotaru in a way more than friendship?

"Oh? What do you do?"

"I'm a student at Tokyo University. A sophomore."

Not only was she a student still, but she was a year ahead. About time Hino associated with someone whose brain larger than a **peanut**. Although, Hotaru's body wasn't that bad either.

"What do you study?"

"Writing and photography."

Utena's brow rose again and Hotaru determined that was the only way to really know what the woman was thinking since her expression and eyes remained blank.

Tokyo University was a hard school to get into, especially for the arts. So, she was smart, pretty and artistic. Geez, perfect isn't she?

"Do you live at home?"

The question caused Hotaru to smile sadly. Utena didn't know whether to be happy she found a potential fault in the girl or disappointed.

"Yes, with my guardians."

Utena leaned back in her chair, eyes twinkling briefly with curiosity. Hotaru caught it none the less.

"My parents passed away when I was young so I was raised by my guardians. And although I'm legally old enough now to be on my own, I don't know how else to refer to them as other than my guardians… my parents."

Utena nodded, eyes focusing on the tea cup in her hand. She opened her mouth to say something, but shut it after a second. Something tugged at Hotaru. Her life story always depressed others or made them feel awkward.

"I was an orphan since I was a few month old, so I never had to worry about that. I'm sorry for your loss."

Violet eyes blinked at the confession. She said it like she meant it, not in pity like others. Utena seemed to catch her confusion.

"Can't miss what you never knew."

The two fell silent at Utena's statement. It was a semi-comfortable silence, but not as bad as either of them had suspected it would be. After a few minutes, Utena stood.

"I'm afraid there isn't much here to do. I'm sure Rei will understand if you wish to leave."

The brown-eyed woman expected the girl to bolt at the chance. But instead, she smiled.

"Yes, she would."

An approving nod was all Hotaru got. If only it were that easy to receive such a response hours later.

* * *

"Hotaru, I'm sure you know of Rei's flings."

The statement shattered the relaxed silence of the room. Hotaru looked up from the book Utena lent her, surprised by the out-of-no-where comment.

"Y-yes, I do."

Damn her voice for quivering. Damn Utena for not looking nervous or awkward at all.

"Why did you come with her today?"

"Because she asked me to."

"You must have been up pretty early to meet her."

Well, at least Utena knew where this was going, because Hotaru sure as hell didn't.

"I'm staying at her apartment."

"What?"

Hotaru's staying at the miko's apartment? Didn't that mean that the two of them… oh dear lord.

"Can I ask why?" Utena asked instead, preventing herself from jumping to conclusions, though she already had.

The younger girl allowed herself to frown. What was up with Utena all of a sudden?

"Because my guardians are out of town and Rei offered me a place to stay until they get back."

The lawyer nodded, sitting down. The look on her face, however, informed the other woman that there were more questions.

"Hotaru, I'm sure you've never slept with her."

Violet eyes became the size of saucers at the blunt statement. What was everyone and asking her about her nonexistent love-life with Rei? Hotaru's mind refused to grasp that even Rei's business partner was giving her advice.

"And it's obvious you like Rei, as more than a friend."

The shock was quickly replaced by embarrassment. A woman she hasn't known for a day already figured out her crush. Oh god.

"And Rei cares about you."

The maddening blush did nothing to hide Hotaru's curiosity. It might be obvious that she cared for Rei, but how does Utena know that the feelings are reciprocated?

The older woman couldn't decide whether the girl's reddening face was due to embarrassment or anger. She was sure she wanted to stay on Hotaru's good side, if only for avoiding Rei's wrath.

"I don't want to see you hurt. Rei sleeps with people recklessly. I don't want to see you becoming another one of her victims. Too many women and men alike have been flung aside after a night of wild partying and sex. It doesn't feel good, believe me, I know."

"Utena-san, I've had moments where I've just wanted to give myself to her."

Hotaru closed her eyes. The look of disappointment and sorrow in the other woman's eyes was almost enough to make her stop. But no, she had to explain herself. For her own sake.

"But I never have. Because I want_ more _than just sex. I love her. And if she and I," Hotaru blushed and looked away, "ever _do_ have sex, I want it to be because she _loves_ me."

"Hotaru," Utena said, sighing softly, "she might love you, but she'll _never_ change. There's still a very large chance that she will hurt you."

Hotaru smiled sadly. "There's _always_ a chance of getting hurt when it comes to love. And I'm sorry, but you're wrong. If Rei wants to, she can change. It'll just take time." **And I have all the time in the world.**

The phone started to ring. With one last sigh, Utena moved to answer it. The college student released the breath she didn't know she had been holding as the conversation came to a close.

-End Flashback-

Hotaru finished her waffles and leaned back in the large, plush chair. Utena's words only sent her mind further into overdrive. She doubted her love for Rei more and more as the days wore on. Was it really worth it?

She loved the miko to the point it hurt. She just had to choose a woman that's given up on the emotion but hey, if _she_ could start over with life, why can't Rei have another chance?

Problem was: did the raven-haired beauty _want_ a chance?

'**Hi Rei, how was your day? Say, you want to stop having sex with every man and woman you see and consider loving me?'**

Right, that'll go over well. There were only three results from that. One: Rei laughs at her and tells her she must be delusional. Two: she would smile apologetically and ask Hotaru to go home since that would be best for them both. Or third and the worse by far: Rei would pity her and take her to bed.

Why isn't there a scenario of the miko returning her feelings? Simple, there was no way in _hell_ Rei would love her back.

A growl escaped as Hotaru swept her arms over the table, causing everything to crash to the floor. Silence followed the harsh sound of the plate and cup breaking while her cell phone battery popped out from the impact. Napkins and newspapers littered the floor.

Hotaru gasped for breath, chest heaving as her eyes stared at the empty tabletop.

She was losing it all: hope, patience and her sanity. Why did loving someone have to hurt so much? Was love really worth all this pain?

There was no way she could keep it up for much longer. _'Fight for what you believe in,'_ they say. How can she fight if she doesn't even know if she believed anymore? What _was_ there to believe in? Rei's strength? The hope that the miko would change? Was she to believe in the power of love?

That might work well for Usagi and the other senshi, but not for her. Darkness knows no light. No hope. Hotaru Tomoe can't be someone's savior is she herself hasn't been saved yet.

So, there's only one conclusion.

She's been delusional.


	14. First Date

Fallen From Grace

The door to the apartment opened. She stiffened immediately, her blood running cold in her veins. There was no delicious aroma… no warmth. Only darkness.

The fear and panic she felt was different from that of battle. Those feelings stemmed from physical danger. This was… far worse.

"Hotaru?"

When she was met with silence, Rei broke into a run, searching the apartment. Burning eyes peered into every room, checking and rechecking. Still, no signs of the girl. A shaky hand found its way to a messy mane of raven locks as the miko chewed on her bottom lip. Damn it, where the hell was she? Did she leave?

At the thought, a new wave of panic struck her. No, no. Hotaru would never leave her.

'_Are you so numb that you don't even realize her love for you?'_

Rei collapsed in a heap on the couch. Did Hotaru think the same as Utena? That she doesn't know?

She did. Not always, but after a while, she figured it out. Everyone's been dropping her hints, from Makoto to Setsuna. No, she wasn't that numb.

At first Rei thought it was a silly, school girl crush, though Hotaru was by no means a silly school girl. She was very flattered, to be honest. She could remember the exact moment she figured it out.

It was after that dinner from hell. She was sitting on her bed, staring at the wall while replaying the whole conversation with Minako in her head. She remembered the fire in Hotaru's eyes when the college student yelled at her for degrading herself. How could she forget the hate and contempt in those violet eyes as they gazed at Minako? And the way Hotaru held her, as if she'd break if she tightened her hold. And the love, falling into an ocean of unconditional love every time Hotaru looked at her.

She was numb, but not that numb.

And Rei went out immediately after that and got laid. Great, just… _great_.

She couldn't handle the knowledge she gained. It needed to be forgotten, drowned out by mindless pleasure. Love brought pain and confusion, emotions that has surrounded her for many years.

And the other night, after her realization… when they were in the kitchen. The kiss that, once again, almost happened. What scared her was how much she wanted to kiss Hotaru. It wasn't t like this the first time. The first time, she realized Hotaru deserved more than a one night stand. She deserved a person who loved her, who would take care of her. But she still lusted for her, pure lust.

The second time, she knew Hotaru loved her. If she kissed her, she would break the girl's heart. It wasn't just a kiss or sex with the college student. It was about what the girl deserved and what she could give.

And what she could give was far less than what her friend deserved.

There was also more than lust. It was… a want and not a need. Rei wanted Hotaru, wanted to kiss her and hold her. And not just for one night. It was… for eternity.

It was the same feeling she got when she realized Usagi was truly her friend. It was the same feeling she experienced when Minako first told her to give the blonde a chance.

It was the same feeling when Rei realized she loved Usagi. And it was the same feeling she had when she gave Minako that chance… and fell in love.

So, did this mean what she thinks it means?

Is that why the thought that Hotaru left without saying goodbye hurt almost as much as Usagi's rejection? Why her heart feels like it's breaking the same way it did when Minako broke up with her?

"Rei?"

Her head snapped up at the sound of her name. Her eyes found the figure who said her name. It was her. And the miko felt true joy for the first time in years.

"H-Hotaru?"

She almost winced at how hoarse her voice sounded. The college student approached her, taking in the miko's defeated and crushed appearance. Her business suit was wrinkled, her hair a mess and her eyes hesitant.

"What are you doing in the dark?"

Hotaru found herself pulled to a warm body, slender arms wrapped tightly around her. She opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a quivering voice.

"I-I thought you left… without saying anything."

The shorter girl blinked, Rei's fear-filled voice reaching her ears. She smiled sadly in response, arms reaching out to embrace the miko. One hand found its way into the mane of long hair.

"It's all right. I'm right here."

Rei's arms tightened around her friend's body, eyes closing. A tear made its way down her cheeks. She didn't leave. She stayed.

She stayed.

Hotaru just held Rei, the barely there smile still on her face. The miko wanted her to stay, needed her to stay. The emotions she felt were indescribable. She was needed.

She felt Rei bury her face into her shoulder and her own eyes began to tear up.

She was needed, here… now. By the woman she loved.

She'd never tell Rei she did leave. All that matters is that she came back. And she was here.

She was here.

* * *

Rei opened her eyes, taking a deep breath. She felt so alive, so energized. The sun poured in through the open windows, the morning breeze waking her.

"It's so early."

Her eyes softened when they fell on the body snuggling against her, the same one that had mumbled. A smile touched her lips before she shifted slightly to block the sun for Hotaru.

After a while of holding each other last night, they both laid down on the couch. Hotaru held her the entire night and fell asleep sometime at five in the morning. She, however, stayed up a while longer to watch Hotaru sleep.

She loved the feeling of the younger girl's arms around her and her own around the petite body. They molded together perfectly, just as she and Minako had.

The miko watched Hotaru, just like she was doing now. The way the girl pouted slightly in her sleep was adorable. The way her long lashes brushed against her pale cheeks was mesmerizing. The way she looked, so peaceful, was utterly beautiful.

Rei buried her face in Hotaru's hair for a split second. As always, the smell of vanilla and cherries invaded her senses.

She cared for Hotaru, obviously. But was it love?

"Rei?"

The miko's attention turned to the body beside her. Hotaru's eyes opened sleepily to see Rei's smiling face. The sight made her smile in return. It was a sight to behold- one she wished could be the first thing she saw everyday for the rest of her life.

"Morning. Sleep well?"

A yawn was the only response the miko got. Her smile grew.

"Go back to sleep."

Hotaru didn't need to be told twice and fell back to sleep instantly. Her friend's smile became a goofy and very large grin.

"Sleep tight."

Detaching herself from the younger girl's arms was harder than she'd thought. And to let go of the petite body was even harder. But at last, Rei managed to get off the couch with one last, affectionate look at the girl. With a sigh, her lean form disappeared into the bathroom.

* * *

Hotaru blinked lazily, trying to get rid of the last remnants of sleep. The first thing she noticed was Rei was no where to be seen. She sat up and looked around, hearing music coming from the study.

Pausing by the doorway, Hotaru was greeted by the same sight as two nights ago. The businesswoman sat behind her desk, long hair in a messy bun while a pair of black rimmed glasses perched on her nose.

"Hey."

The businesswoman looked up at the sound of the sleep-filled drawl.

"Hey yourself."

"Aren't you going to be late for work?"

Rei looked amused as she leaned back in her chair.

"It's past noon, so yes, I'm be late for work."

Violet eyes widened in surprise. Past noon? She slept for that long? A blush darkened her pale cheeks.

"Then what are you doing home?"

Rei stood, walking over to her guest. The smile on her lips reached her eyes, the sight making the short college student's heart hammer in her chest. She barely managed to speak.

"W-well?"

The miko ignored the flutter in her chest when Hotaru said 'home.' It was uncalled for since this _was_ her home, but just maybe her guest meant it was her own home as well.

"Well," the taller woman started in a low whisper, "you've been here for over a week and we haven't done much. What with me being sick and then work. So, I took the day off."

"Y-you what?"

The low and sensual laugh echoed in the room at the incredulous look on the younger girl's face.

"I took the day off."

"Really?"

"Yes."

Hotaru stared at her friend in disbelief. This earned a sigh from the other woman, who wore an expression of mock-disappointment.

"If you don't want me to, I'll-"

"No! That's not what I meant at all! I'm just surprised."

Rei smiled and tapped Hotaru's nose with a finger. "Good. Why don't you find something to eat while I finish these reports? Then we'll go the Laundromat. I'm sure you have clothes to wash too."

Hotaru nodded and all but skipped out of Rei's office. The miko sat back down at her desk. Was she supposed to get a warm feeling when she was going to do laundry?

Rei smiled at the doorman as she and Hotaru walked out of the apartment building, a large laundry bag on her back. Usually, most of her clothes would be dry-clean only, but since she hasn't been to work that often, there wasn't that much. Whatever dry cleaning there was, Hotaru was carrying.

"You sure you don't want me to hold it?"

"Hotaru, this bag is as tall as you are."

Hotaru glared at her friend, but remained quiet. Whether Rei knew it or not, they were going to clean up that huge and very messy apartment.

It was adoring to see the miko in a pair of gray sweats and a simple, white T-shirt. No black, red, tight clothing or anything that showed a great amount of cleavage.

Actually, she was even more beautiful like this. Completely relaxed, the long mane was pulled back in a high ponytail. Lavender eyes were completely unguarded, the smug smirk replaced by a small smile.

"So, how often do you do laundry?"

Rei looked over at the girl walking beside her. Hotaru was looking at her with a curious but very motherly expression. She sighed inwardly. The girl was a damn neat freak while she, well, wasn't.

"Once or twice a month."

Hotaru's jaw dropped at the answer. Rei continued, not wanting to be scolded.

"Most of my work or clubbing clothes are dry-clean only. I rarely wear anything but one of those two, so there isn't that much laundry to do. I drop of my dry-cleaning every few days."

The younger woman seemed to accept this answer, much to the poor miko's relief.

The two stepped into the large Laundromat and first dropped off the dry-cleaning. The woman behind the counter seemed surprised Rei wasn't leaving the rest of her laundry, though she had enough time to stare at Hotaru approvingly.

The two senshi looked around the empty place. With a shrug, Rei set down the large bag and opened the door to three machines. Without a thought, she started throwing things in.

"Rei!"

The miko looked up to see Hotaru scowling at her. Lavender eyes blinked, confused.

"Don't you separate your colors?"

Hotaru watched as Rei stared at her with a cute, puzzled look on her face. The college student groaned and shook her head.

"Light colors, dark colors and jeans?"

Rei straightened as her houseguest set to work, separating the loads and throwing them into the appropriate machine.

"You know, most people just do light and dark."

"Yeah, but you have three machines and a lot of clothes."

The taller woman shook her head in disbelief at Hotaru's level of neatness. The other girl only glared.

"Make yourself useful and get the detergent!"

"Yes, master," Rei answer, doing an Igor impression by dragging one leg behind her and making one eye smaller than the other.

Hotaru growled and threw a white shirt at the woman mocking her. The miko grabbed it off her face and tossed it into a machine… the one for dark colors.

"REI!"

The two sat in the plastic chairs, watching the machines spin the clothes around and around. Hotaru sipped her soda.

"Waiting is so much fun."

The miko rolled her eyes at the comment and took a bite of her ice cream sandwich.

"Want to play video games?"

Hotaru looked over as a mischievous smile formed on her lips.

"Thought you'd never ask."

Rei rolled her eyes again as they headed for the machines. One of them caught their attention at the same time. Sharing a look, they approached the game, inserting two coins each into the slots. It only took them seconds to select their characters. Next thing they knew…

Sailor Saturn and Sailor Mars stared at each other in font of a forest backdrop.

"Oh… my… god…"

Hotaru blushed at the comment from Rei, who was openly gawking at Sailor Saturn on the screen. The creators had gotten Mars right, but Saturn?

For one, Saturn did NOT have the measurements: 42", 26", 42".

Also, she did NOT wear purple short shorts.

And she most _definitely_ didn't have a plunging neckline as part of her fuku.

"Guys made this."

The comment caused Hotaru to blush even more. All right, they went way too overboard.

"Mars isn't exactly flat-chested either."

Rei just gave her that cocky smile. "At least she's around a 38" and not a 46" like Saturn!"

"Hino!"

The miko laughed, the indignant and embarrassed expression on Hotaru's face too cute to resist.

"All right, I'm sorry. Let's just fight."

And fight they did. Hotaru started laughing when Mar's kick was basically a split in midair. And after that attack, 'Mars' paused and fanned herself, giving the players a wink.

"I do **NOT** do that!"

Hotaru smirked, revenge was fun. But the smirk faded when one of Saturn's attacks involved the already tight outfit to rip in several places. Rei snickered, but said nothing.

"I'm going to cream you," the college student mumbled.

The miko didn't reply, but grinned when she reached the MAX on her power bar. Mars unleashed her most powerful attack and… Rei gawked.

Wind surrounded the miko's alter-ego, causing her skirt to blow upwards, revealing a red thong. Hotaru was laughing hysterically, until Mars grabbed Saturn and kissed her.

Two pairs of purple eyes stared at the screen, shocked to say the least. After the light died down, Mars stood triumphantly over Saturn's prone body.

Neither could look at each other after that very… interesting attack.

'**Why am I blushing?'**they both thought to themselves.

Rei licked her lips. The move only reminded her of the times she could have kissed Hotaru, but didn't. Damn, where was the urge coming from now?

'**Well,'**Hotaru thought bitterly, _'_**if you can't kiss her in real life, video games come close.'**

She couldn't deny she wanted to kiss Rei, never could actually. But the desire was becoming harder to ignore as each day passed. They were so close yet light years apart from each other. To be honest, she envied her video game counterpart.

"Interesting attack, eh?"

Both snapped out of their thoughts to look at the woman behind the counter. It was then Hotaru noticed that she was not much older than herself. The teller jumped over the counter and approached them.

"Err… yeah," Rei forced out finally.

"I take it you two aren't very open to the idea of homosexuality."

"No, we're not," Hotaru said quickly. Realizing her mistake, the college student smacked her forehead with her hand. "I mean, no, we're not not open. I mean-"

Seeing the guilty expression on Hotaru's face, the young woman laughed.

"It's fine if you're not."

The miko could see how flustered Hotaru was getting. Wait, Hotaru's never nervous. So did this mean she liked the blonde woman before them?

A jealous flame engulfed Rei's heart for a split second. Wait, why was she jealous?

"She's just flustered," the miko offered, staring the blonde down. "We're perfectly fine with it. Most, actually, all of our close friends except one are lesbians."

Hotaru arched a brow at Rei in question. The miko blushed, understanding her friend's gaze.

"We both know far too much to think I'm straight."

The college student only smirked, causing Rei's blush to darken.

"Hey, you're the one raised b the cutest lesbian couple in the world and the woman that's dating my ex-girlfriend."

It was the younger girl's turn to darken and darken she did. The teller watched the exchange with interest.

"How rude of me, I'm Yumi Ono."

Rei took the offered hand, her grip strong.

"Rei Hino. And my blushing friend is Hotaru Tomoe."

Much to the women's amusement, the college student's blush darkened.

"I'm a big girl now, Rei-_san_," Hotaru said instead, clearing her throat. "I can introduce myself, you know."

The miko blinked several times as Hotaru shook hands with Yumi.

"Did you just call me _-san_?"

The shorter girl just smirked smugly.

"Yes, I did."

Rei wiped an imaginary tear from her eye.

"I thought we were beyond that, Hotaru-_chan_."

Violet eyes were rolled upwards as the pale girl gave her friend a playful shove. The businesswoman beamed, causing Hotaru's glare to worsen.

"So, what did you two think of the attack Mars used?"

At Yumi's question, Rei blushed, much to the Laundromat worker's confusion. Hotaru fought the urge to blush herself and took this chance to embarrass her host.

"I thought Venus was the senshi of Love and Beauty."

"Oh, she is," Yumi answered without missing a beat. "But the creators of the game were Saturn/Mars fans."

Rei's lavender eyes blinked in confusion. Hotaru, however, seemed to understand perfectly.

"Sailor Saturn and Sailor Mars coupling fan," Yumi explained to the confused miko, which didn't seem to help any. "Coupling as in fan fiction."

More blinked. Hotaru gave Rei a pat on the head, causing the miko's confused gaze to her.

"Forgive her," the college student said to Yumi, stroking her friend's hair since the taller girl was now sitting. "She works lot and doesn't get out much."

"I play too!" Rei mumbled under her breath. Hotaru missed the comment, but Yumi didn't. She only smiled.

"It's all right. Fanfiction is, just as the name suggests, fiction written by fans. Even though no one knows a lot about the senshi, they're very popular as fanfic characters. There are your straight couples, and then there are the 'shoujo-ai' couples."

Rei nodded, slowly grasping it. Yeah, she'd read Card Captor Sakura fics (Tomoyo is just too damn cute for her not to), Gundam Wing (Noin and Une were just plain hot) and InuYasha (okay, so Sesshoumaru and Kagome is a straight couple but what the hell!). Never did she imagine the senshi being written about! The thought alone caused her to blush. People writing, using her. Well, not her, Mars.

"There are a lot of couples for 'shoujo-ai.'"

The comment was almost enough to send Rei flying to the door. A lot of couples? Damn, she was getting interested.

"There's Uranus and Neptune, they're one of the hottest couples."

Good to know that even in the world of fandom Haruka and Michiru are together. They deserved it.

"Mercury and Jupiter is also a very popular couple."

Rei's blush faded when a grin touched her lips. The memory of disturbing Makoto and Ami resurfaced. Ah, those two.

"Mars and Moon."

Lavender eyes widened as the miko froze. Mars and Moon. She and… Usagi? A-a couple?

Hotaru noticed the dark look passing over her friend's face. Desperate, she scratched Rei's head, right above her right ear. The action seemed to shock the miko back to reality. When she looked up in surprise, the college student only smiled, blushing slightly.

"Well, Mars floats around the most, to be honest. Sure, there's a few Uranus and Moon fics out there."

A shiver went down Rei's spine at the new information. The Princess of Wind and of Light?

Hotaru once again noticed how Rei trembled. This time, she paused her stroking of the long mane. The miko looked up as Yumi continued.

"Neptune and Pluto-"

Wow, so many couples she never would've thought of. Well, Setsuna and Michiru did go well together. No, _don't_ think like that.

"And basically anyone and Moon."

Well, they all loved their Princess. It's not surprising people think it actually was that way.

"What about Saturn? Does she ever get paired up with Moon?"

The stiffening of Hotaru's body was ignored by her friend and host. Her and Usagi-hime… whoa.

"I don't think so…"

"Good."

Rei felt the college student's confused gaze on her. To be honest, she didn't know why she said 'good' either. But she knew it _wasn't_ because she didn't want Usagi with anyone else.

"There's Saturn and Pluto."

The businesswoman lost her cool and almost fell off the chair. Saturn and Pluto?

An image of Setsuna and Hotaru kissing flashed in her mind. Her fists clenched. Why did they actually look good together?

Damn Setsuna. Damn her. She got Minako-

"And Pluto and Venus coupling is very popular."

Rei squeezed her eyes shut as Hotaru pulled her back into her seat. Even in the fanfic world, Setsuna gets Minako. And Hotaru too. How was this fair?

"There's Pluto and Mars, on occasion."

Oh, just her luck. She also ends up with the woman she hated with a passion right now.

"Can't forget Jupiter and Venus."

Oh, hell with it. Basically, everyone could get together with anyone. If you think about it, that's 72 possible pairings.

"Mars and Mercy, Mars and Venus."

Wait, back up. Mars and Mercury? Rei shuddered again. That was not right, at least in her opinion. She's never even looked twice at Ami in that way. Not that there was anything wrong with the girl. Actually, she was quite pretty and very smart. Intelligence was a very big turn on-

Did she say Mars and Venus? So, there's _one_ place where they'll be together.

Hotaru grew nervous when Rei sat completely still. Not stiff, just still. She couldn't say anything in front of Yumi. So, she just buried her fingers in the raven mane. The touch seemed enough to get the miko back.

"Wow."

Okay, that was not what she expected her friend to say. Wow? She finds out her alter ego is paired with her love's alter ego and all she have to say is 'wow'?

"Cool, isn't it?"

Rei smiled, one Hotaru couldn't tell whether it was fake or real. Though, it shouldn't be real.

"It's something."

The miko was taking this well. Too well. Hotaru placed a hand on her friend's shoulder. The businesswoman looked at her and smiled. Then, she placed her hand over Hotaru's.

Yumi watched with both amusement and interest. Were these two blind or stupid? They didn't seem to be the latter, though they weren't together yet. So maybe it _was_ the latter.

"I should go, nice talking to you two."

Yumi smiled as the two bid her farewell. She'd give them a week max to get together.

* * *

Hotaru stared at the large bag of clean laundry as Rei continued to stuff clothes in from the machines. Two hours. Two whole hours with the miko after that very _interesting_ conversation. Can any say, 'awkward silence'?

"Well, what's the last of it," Rei announced with a relieved sigh

"Thank god."

The miko chuckled and threw the bag over her shoulder. Wordlessly, the two walked out, still feeling as uncomfortable as can be.

At the apartment, Rei emptied the bag on her bed and sighed. So much laundry to fold.

"Need a hand?"

Rei looked over to Hotaru, who stood in the doorway and smiled.

"Sure, come on in."

The college student walked over and the two started to fold the endless sea of clothes.

"Interesting," Hotaru said, holding up a pink, lacy bra.

"Hey! Gimme that!"

The blush on the miko's cheeks was enough to cause Hotaru to laugh.

"What time is it?"

"Four thirty," Hotaru answered, setting one of her own shirts aside.

"We've leaving in two hours."

"What? Where to?"

Rei smiled at the confused and annoyed expression on Hotaru's face.

"We're going to watch a performance."

"What? When did this happen?"

"This morning while you were still sleeping."

Hotaru blushed at the reminder of being asleep for so long. And… she was going out with Rei. It wasn't a big deal. And the last time they went out, it ended in disaster. But this time… it would be different. It would be her and Rei, at a performance, by themselves. Okay, by themselves in a crowd of people but that's beside the point.

"Do I have to dress up?'

"Nope. I didn't think you'd like the whole 'be a vision of perfection' thing. It's outdoors in a nice field with a stage built especially for this."

At the news, Hotaru felt like she could kiss Rei. Well, she always felt like she could kiss her friend but this time, it was out of appreciation. She always felt so out of place at formal events, even if it was one of Michi-mama's performances. The fact that Rei knew her preferences only made her love the miko more.

"You can go get ready. I don't feel like folding anymore clothes."

Hotaru thanked Rei and raced off to the shower. The miko smiled. It was to know her friend was excited. She certainly was.


	15. Romeo and Juliet

Fallen From Grace

At 6:45, Hotaru Tomoe was sitting on the couch while flipping through a magazine, trying to keep herself calm.

"Sorry, I didn't expect Kenji to call."

She looked up as Rei entered the living room. The college student shrugged, it wasn't the miko's fault that her coworker called, needing help. Thank god their plans hadn't been cancelled.

"What did he need?"

"I don't know," Rei replied, throwing her book bag over her shoulder.

"What do you mean, 'you don't know?'"

The miko smiled at the confused expression on her friend's face. She was so cute sometimes.

"I just don't. I told him I was sure he could handle whatever it was since I have a performance to go to with a lovely young lady."

Hotaru's face darkened with an adorable blush. Cloud nine was where she was right now. Rei cancelled business to spend the evening with her! _That_ said a lot.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see."

* * *

Hotaru watched the city fly by in Rei's car. They were on the outskirts, the _far_ outskirts. And it didn't seem like the miko planned on stopping anytime soon.

"So, what did Kenji say when you told him to take care of it himself?"

Rei turned her head to look at her passenger briefly before turning her attention back on the road. A cocky smirk played on her ruby lips, something that Hotaru thought made her look rather primal. In a good way.

"He was speechless."

"Why?"

"To tell you why, I have to explain the beginning of HTP."

Hotaru settled in her seat. "We have time."

"As you may know, I was working at Heaven Industries even before I graduated from college. Utena was my co-worker, older, more experienced and almost finished with her Masters. A year later, the head of the merger department retired and Utena took over. I was about half way done with my Masters degree when Utena decided to open her own company, specializing in mergers. She asked me to go with her, and I did. We needed a lawyer and that's where Kenji came in. Twenty-three and fresh out of the university with a degree in law, he was a child prodigy. We hired him and then made him a partner a while later."

Hotaru nodded, looking at the trees rush by. "So, he's not really used to handling things by himself?"

"Well, that and the fact that Utena's like the mother hen. She doesn't let him handle too much, afraid he'll make a mistake and blame himself."

"But people learn from their mistakes."

"Yes, true. You may not be able to tell, but Utena likes Kenji."

Hotaru's mouth formed a little "O" at the news. Rei caught her "fish out of water" expression and laughed.

"Shocking, isn't it? She denies it like crazy, though."

"Does he like her?"

"That's also very complicated."

At Hotaru's look, the miko sighed and shook her head. Damn curiosity.

"Kenji used to have a crush on me."

Once again, fish out of water.

"I'm the 'charismatic' front man… or woman, in this case. But Utena's really the brains. Kenji thought it was cool the way I handle things, business dealings and meetings. But after a while, he realized Utena's really the master. I'm still the apprentice."

"Oh."

"So now, he's starting to like Utena,"

"Got ditched for brains?"

Rei's foot slammed onto the breaks and Hotaru thanked the LORD there were no other cars behind them. Or else they'd both be dead.

"What!"

Hotaru was plastered to her seat, her hand over her heart. Slowly, she looked over at the wide-eyed miko.

"H-huh?"

"Hey! What do you mean, 'ditched for brains?'"

Hotaru blinked slowly, still trying to collect her thoughts. Rei shook her head and started driving again. Minutes later, the young writer snapped out of her shocked induced stupor.

"Were you trying to get us killed?"

"Were you trying to give me a heart attack, which would've ended in getting us killed?"

"Oh, you meant my comment?"

The miko kept her attention on the road, though she didn't miss her friend's crimson blush.

"Well, I just thought I'd joke about it. If you don't want me to-"

"Hotaru."

"-stop, I understand. I mean-"

"Hotaru Tomoe."

"-I was completely out of line-"

"Tomoe!"

Violet eyes fixed on the woman smiling at her, lavender orbs dancing with laughter.

"Calm down and stop ranting."

The younger girl just stared at her and blinked. It seemed like the only thing the two of them did was blink. Geez, they really needed to have more facial expressions!

"I don't mind if you crack jokes. It's refreshing, actually. It might take some getting used to, though."

Hotaru smiled and leaned toward the beautiful driver. She reached out and brushed a strand of raven silk behind the miko's ear. Their purples eyes met for the millionth time in less than a week. And for the millionth time, they felt the pull between them, the urge to kiss too strong for comfort. At least they weren't too close for comfort… more like exactly where they both wanted.

Meanwhile they were getting closer… inches, centimeters, millimeters and just a single atom apart…

Honk! Honk, honk, honk!

The two pulled apart and Rei stuck her arm out the window, signaling the driver behind them, though nothing that involved a certain finger (like she wanted). The two looked away, blushes darkening their cheeks. The rest of the ride was in silence.

* * *

Hotaru stepped out of the car, amazed by the sea of people in the large field. There was a temporary stage in the center of the grassy clearing, though many of the spots close to it were already filled.

"We should have come earlier…"

Rei tossed her black book bag at Hotaru and swung a large duffle over her shoulder. Confused but nonetheless curious, she followed the miko, making her way through the crowd.

"Where are we going?"

"Just follow me."

Hotaru felt her annoyance grow at the less than enlightening answer. Rei's been giving her answers that weren't really answers all day!

Finally, after fifteen minutes of walking, Rei set her duffle on the ground.

"What? Here?"

They were at an almost empty spot, save one very sweet looking couple.

Hearing the annoyed tone of her friend's voice, Rei walked over and took Hotaru's face between her hands. Without a word and noting the look of surprise, she turned her friend's head to the left.

They were actually on a hill, quite high compared to the flat field below. The view of the stage was perfect, as if they were in a box seat at a theater.

"Oh."

The miko released Hotaru's face and turned away. The writer however, brought her hands to her face, the skin where Rei had touched tingling.

"What are you doing?"

Violet eyes blinked when Rei pulled out a large blanket from her book bag and placed it on the ground. She gestured for Hotaru to sit.

The college student had no problem obeying the command. Rei joined her, tilting her head slightly to look at her house guest.

"Hungry?"

It was at that moment Hotaru's stomach chose to growl. Flushed with embarrassment, the girl only nodded. Lavender eyes twinkled with amusement as the miko's red lips curved upwards in a grin, but she didn't laugh.

"Good, I was afraid you weren't hungry."

Hotaru watched with interest as Rei unzipped the duffle and offered her a lunch box. Well, a rather large, triple Decker lunch box. The hungry woman took off the first lid to discover fresh sushi! The next was dumplings and the last fried shrimp!

"Wow! Rei, this looks great!"

The miko offered her another lunch box. Practically drooling, Hotaru quickly opened the lids. Fried rice, fish and rice balls!

"Did you make all of this?"

Rei smiled and winked. "I asked Mako to make it. But if anyone asks, I did."

Hotaru rolled her eyes at her friend's antics but grinned nonetheless.

"But Makoto is mad at us right?"

"At you maybe, but not me."

"What! Why me?"

The smile turned devious on the miko's lovely face and lavender eyes twinkled with mischief.

"I sent Ami 100 red roses and said it was from Mako-chan. Ami loved it, a lot. So, Mako owes me!"

"What! You little sneak!"

"I'm guessing Mako will take it all out on you."

"What! Hino!"

The miko only smirked at the indignant expression on her friend's face. After a while of suffering Hotaru's glare and when the change of color on her cheeks became boring, Rei laughed.

"Oh, Hotaru, I was kidding. I told Makoto they were from the both of us. So, she thinks she owes you too."

"What about Ami? Isn't she still pissed at us?"

"Oh, I convinced Mako to throw in a line or two about how she didn't have enough money on her and borrowed most of it from us."

"And how'd you do that?"

"By telling her that I'd tell Ami the truth."

"Wouldn't Ami get mad at us?"

"Oh, no. You see, our favorite blue-haired doctor decided to… _reward_ her girlfriend for the roses. And Makoto said nothing!"

"That's perfect! I was really starting to run out of ideas on how to get on their good graces again."

Despite herself, Hotaru couldn't stop smiling. Rei leaned forward, eyes twinkling.

"I know. That's part of my charm."

Once again, they were so close. Very close. Never too close.

Were they being mocked? To find themselves in this situation every time? Rei could feel her heart pounding, the blood rushing to her ears. She couldn't remember being this excited since she was with Minako.

"Ladies and gentlemen!"

Hotaru growled when the loud voice boomed over the speakers. Perfect, just god damn perfect! Was someone planning these things or something! That's the second time in half an hour! Forget it, she should just accept she'll never kiss Rei.

"Welcome to the HTP charity concert. The profit from tonight will be going to the Children's Fund. Two of the leaders of the company, Rei Hino and Utena Takahashi, are here in this crowd somewhere! Please, sit back and enjoy the show!"

A round of applause sounded as the announcer stepped off the stage. Hotaru, however, was staring at the miko besides her. Feeling the intense gaze. Rei busied herself by pulling out two pillows.

"Make yourself comfortable," she said, handing one to her house guest.

"You didn't tell me your company was responsible for this. And for charity."

Hotaru cursed herself slightly at her flat tone and watched Rei give a nonchalant shrug.

"Yes, well, I guess I didn't."

Rei's eyes softened as Hotaru placed her hand over her own, smiling that beautiful smile of hers. The miko returned the favor and gazed at their touching hands.

"Good job."

Lavender eyes focused on the dark orbs that seemed to shine with pride. A pale blush made its way onto the lovely face, the older woman blushing for the first time in a long time.

"Thanks."

* * *

The concert was quickly coming to an end, four hours, 5 orchestras, 12 singers and an operetta later.

Of course, there had been some very… interesting moments. Such as when an audience member had been chosen for the open mic portion of the concert. The young woman made her way onto the stage, confident in her abilities. So when she opened her mouth, no one expected what came across the speakers.

As she bellowed "I Left My Heart in Texas," several members of the audience promptly fainted. Luckily, Hotaru and Rei were saved by a kind young woman enjoying the show with her girlfriend. Her out of place Trapt T-shirt aside, she was merciful enough to hand them two pairs of earmuffs, which prevented Hotaru and Rei from the falling to the same fate of others: screaming in agony.

Upon realizing that her siblings had fallen unconscious and her young sister was running around screaming, "Hell! Hell!" (Which the young singer swore, rather loudly over the microphone, that she had learned from their father), the young woman decided to spare those still awake (since they couldn't handle her god given gifts).

The teen returned to her seat. Well, she would've if the next open microphone singer, a girl around 15, hadn't started belting out the first few lines of "Come Down" by Hilary Duff. The lack of talent aside, the lyrics sent the first singer into the corner of the stage, curled up and rocking back and forth while mumbling "Not her, not my only weakness!"

Rei and Hotaru blinked in confusion as they heard the young woman that had given them the earmuffs laugh (they had taken them off when the girl that left her heart in Texas stopped singing). When they asked what she was laughing at, the girl simply replied by mumbling about unplugging a TV and something about "Twitch." The pair wisely decided not to speak to her again for the rest of the night.

"It is my pleasure," the announcer exclaimed in that false chirper voice, "to introduce now, Ms. Michiru Kaioh and Ms. Haruka Tenoh!"

Hotaru's eyes widened as she sat up, sending the grapes on her stomach to the ground. Michiru and Haruka? They were performing here! Now!

One look at Rei's expression and she knew the older woman was as shocked as she was. But Rei was acting, right? Her company organized this.

"Thank you," Michiru said in her soft and soothing voice as the applause died down. "We were asked to play tonight by one of our dear friends, Utena Takahashi."

"Utena," Rei mumbled under her breath. So, Michiru and Haruka were the woman's special guests. She didn't bother wondering how they knew each other.

"We were going to play a piece in her honor, but," Michiru's voice acquired an almost teasing drawl, "decided last minute to change the song. This is dedicated, instead, to two of our closest friends."

Aqua and blue eyes turned to the hill the pair of dark-haired senshi were on. The miko now sat up as well, able to see the teasing smirk on the face of the blonde sitting behind the piano.

"They are both here tonight, sharing a lovely picnic."

Murmurs rose from the crowd as everyone looked around, trying to find the friends Michiru spoke of. Fortunately, most brought picnic dinners with them and so they were safe.

"Please enjoy."

Hotaru and Rei blushed when the music started. Due to the careful construction of the temporary stage, the soft melody reached their ears perfectly. As always, Michiru and Haruka were perfectly synchronized, weaving the smooth sound of the violin and the sooth notes of the piano into a piece of Heaven.

"Dear lord, no."

The miko looked at the muttering girl besides her, confused at the embarrassed and shocked expression on the porcelain face. Then it hit her. Tchaikovsky's "Romeo and Juliet," the so-called Love Theme.

Hotaru decided when the piece started that she would kill her guardians. "Romeo and Juliet!" And they said it was dedicated to them. Can they be _any_ more obvious? She did _not_ want Rei to know she loved her. If she hadn't accidentally leaked that out already. But the music?

Or were her guardians trying to tell her something? Yes, Romeo and Juliet is one of the most famous if not _the_ most famous couple in history. But they were also star-crossed lovers. Were they trying to tell her that it'd never work out between her and Rei?

Well, they didn't have to tell her that. She kind of got it figured out already.

Hotaru might be in love but she wasn't stupid. Rei sees her as a friend, maybe even a partner in bed, but never as a person to love. Yes, they've had several opportunities to kiss. But they were always interrupted. It was always an "in the moment" kind of thing, the type of situation where you just feel the pull and you just _have_ to kiss. It wasn't like either of them ever initiates is or anything. The magnetism between them was intense, but was it love?

* * *

Romeo and Juliet. Michiru and Haruka really do have a special sense of humor, don't they? Are they trying to tell her that she and Hotaru were madly in love with each other?

'**I know she loves me, but do I love her?'**

The question that hasn't stopped plaguing her for days. How could Hotaru possibly love her? Was the girl insane? No one could love her, she made sure of that. She was too wild, too unfaithful, too distant and too difficult to love. So what possibly made her friend love her?

'**Perhaps it's just her loneliness.'**

But Hotaru didn't have to be lonely. She was so… her. Pretty, nice body, smart, talented-

'**Oh god, Hino. You sound like a love struck teenager!'**

Well, she's been a love struck teenager for a long time. First Usagi and then Minako. That was what, 4 years of her life? She was the doting, caring and completely senseless admirer and girlfriend. She loved the two girls for different reasons but that didn't lessen what she felt for them. In essence, she loved them equally as much. Usagi was her first love and the one that was never meant to work. And Minako? The person that put her back together.

So did she have room for another?

The loud noise of applause and cheering snapped Rei back to reality. Everyone was on their feet, but the couple on stage remained calm, bowing with grace and poise. Lavender eyes looked over to find Hotaru in a dazed state.

"Come on," Rei mumbled as she began putting everything away, "let's go talk to them"

Hotaru's violet eyes returned to their normal crystal clear state, a frown on her lips.

"Yes, let's."

* * *

Hotaru could see her "Papa" leaning against the table backstage, talking to her "Mama" and Utena. It was the black-haired businesswoman that saw them first, smiling.

"Rei, Hotaru."

The blonde pianist and aquamarine-eyed violinist turned, smiling. Utena's grin, however, faded when she saw Rei's dark eyes.

"Haruka, Michiru," the miko greeted curtly. "I see that you're Utena's special guests."

The two wisely remained silent, seeing the accusing gaze in their friend's eyes and the murderous gleam in their daughter's.

"Pity," Rei drawled casually, "that you vacation was cut short."

Haruka answered, seeming to hesitate for once. "We decided to do this one show."

"Rei-" Utena started, surprised at her friend's behavior.

"Funny," Hotaru growled suddenly, watching the fidgeting guardians, angry Rei and confused Utena through narrowed eyes, "how you decide to do _this_ concert in particular."

"Well," Michiru said smiling, "Utena asked us. We couldn't say no."

"You did to me."

Haruka swallowed, seeing the gleam in Rei's eyes. "We already said yes to Utena."

The miko's eyes narrowed while a frown appeared on her lips. "I asked you first and you said no. After I told Utena my special guests couldn't make it, she asked you guys."

Even Michiru seemed to be at a lost for words at the statement. Utena jumped to her guests' defense.

"Rei, they were kind enough to perform. Isn't that enough?"

The younger businesswoman backed off slightly at the warning tone of her friend and partner. She settled for a weary expression instead of an angry gaze.

"I suppose family doesn't count much."

"Rei."

The warning came from Hotaru this time, who had been studying her parents all this time. The miko calmed almost immediately and seemed to back down at the intense gaze of her house guest. The blonde smirked slightly, seeing how easily her daughter "tamed" their friend. It faded when the violet eyes were turned on her and her lover.

"Is this the end of your vacation?"

Rei's heart stopped. Did this mean Hotaru could be leaving?

"Actually, we were planning to head for China."

Hotaru's expression remained the same at the new information. They were trying to set her up with Rei. And trying very hard.

"Really? Where will you be going?" Rei asked, relieved that Hotaru would not be leaving.

"Beijing, Shanghai, Hong Kong-"

"Hawaii" Hotaru interjected suddenly.

"- Hawaii…" Haruka replied without thinking.

The miko watched in amusement as the blonde squirmed under the gaze of her daughter and her lover.

'**Smooth, Haruka, smooth.'**

"We should get going."

Haruka smiled nervously when Michiru announced their departure. The blonde hugged Hotaru, who hesitated a second before returning the embrace. Rei smiled as Michiru hugged her.

"Take care."

The miko nodded to Michiru before Haruka came over for a hug. The embrace was even tighter than usual, and Rei could guess why.

"Take care of Hotaru."

"I will," Rei whispered as the two older women bid Utena goodbye.

The musicians headed for their car and drove off. Hotaru looked at the miko besides her with a somewhat timid smile.

"Looks like you're stuck with me for a few more days."

Utena, meanwhile, looked on, half amused and half confused. Who cares! Rei and Hotaru were just too cute together.

"Yeah, I guess I am. Pity…"

A slim hand smacked the sighing woman, dark eyes mock-glaring. Rei only grinned.

"Utena, need a lift?"

The Japanese woman did, but she wasn't coming between those two! Hopefully they'll kiss or something.

"No, thank you."

Lavender eyes softened when the businesswoman turned to the college student.

"Let's go home."


	16. And It Begins

Fallen From Grace

Just as Hotaru expected, Rei wasn't home when she awoke. After they got home last night, the miko told her she was going to be at the office all morning and for most of the afternoon.

With a large grin, Hotaru opened the cupboard in the kitchen and took out a box of waffles. It was the only thing she would eat for breakfast, much to Michiru-mama's annoyance when she was growing up. After pouring herself a glass of juice, she waited patiently for the toaster to pop up.

Things were getting more and more complicated with Rei. There's been half a dozen times when they almost kissed and an undeniable and irresistible attraction. She wanted to confess her feelings to the miko, but was far too scared. What if she wasn't ready for another relationship yet? Even though Rei probably knew of her feelings.

Well, she can throw "probably" out the window after last night's little "dedication."

But even with this chaotic mess, Hotaru still felt… happy. Living with Rei was like a dream come true, well, all the emotional turmoil wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind. But even with it, the experience was still so special. She learned that the miko loved bacon, eggs sunny side up and toast for breakfast. Maybe she'll cook Rei something else sometime just for the heck of it.

The businesswoman was still as sarcastic as ever and damn, could she hold her alcohol. Even if she didn't have her love at the end of this stay, she'd have all the memories to keep her from being bitter.

Okay, so the last part was a complete lie but hey, memories were better than nothing. Or was nothing better than memories because memories would remind her of what she could never have?

'**Hold on there, Tomoe, it's way too early in the morning to get yourself this depressed!'**

Her cell phone chose that time to ring, playing the familiar Teletubbies theme.

'**Hey,'** she said to herself in exasperation, **'at least you're not stuck with that Barney song like Megumi. I am _never_ playing Truth or Dare with Hikari again. That girl is _evil.'_**

"Hello?"

"Hey, Hotaru!" Sara's cheerful voice rang out, causing Hotaru to pull the phone away.

"Morning."

"Morning! Are you crazy? It's almost noon!"

Hotaru rolled her eyes and grabbed her waffles as they popped up from the toaster. Rei ran out of maple syrup yesterday and she forgot to tell the miko. Damn.

"It's morning for me."

"Yeah, yeah you lazy bum. Anyhow, where are you?"

The college student rolled her eyes again and took a bite out of her waffle. What Sara meant was, 'Are you still at Rei's?'

"Yes, I'm still at Rei's."

"Ahh! Oh my god! Are you serious!"

"Yes, I'm serious."

"Oh god! You're so lucky! Rei's so hot!"

Hotaru wondered why Sara was the lesbian out of her three friends. Megumi would have a made a great butch and Hikari was so femme it was scary. But Sara? She was the shopaholic valley girl.

'**Sure you're not just worried that Rei might like her better than you? Sara IS the type she goes after.'**

The violet-eyed girl shook her head to clear her thoughts, noticing that Sara was actually speaking.

"What?"

"I said, 'how's living with her?'"

"It's… okay."

"Just okay. Right."

"Sara…"

"Okay, okay. Anyhow, I called to ask what you're doing tonight."

"Hmm? Oh, nothing I guess."

"Really? Rei doesn't have plans for a romantic dinner at The Tower followed by a moonlight stroll on the beach where you two undress each other in a passionate frenzy and have world shattering sex till dawn?"

Hotaru learned long ago how to ignore Sara's perverted fantasies, but this one caused her to almost spray her juice all over the table. She could imagine the huge grin on the blonde's face, brows quirking up and down suggestively. The college student smiled wickedly and lowered her voice to a husky whisper.

"No, but I'd rather be with you than her any day."

Sara's laughter echoed in Rei's empty apartment as Hotaru held her cell away from her ear. She smiled smugly, wishing she had enough guts to do that with the miko and not just her classmate.

"Oh god, Hotaru, you almost had me. But really, you should have tried me first. I was _more_ than a little willing."

Hopping down from the stool, the short girl walked to the sink and washed her glass.

"Sara, I've had a crush on Rei long before I even _met_ you. And besides, you're not my type."

"What? Not tall, dark and sexy enough for you? Would it help if I dyed my hair black?"

"Dear lord, please don't. But it's not only that, anyhow. Rei's-"

"Okay, before you start on that dreamy speech about how perfect your love is…"

'**Rei is far from perfect,'** Hotaru found herself thinking.

"Do you know about that traditional festival tonight?"

"Huh?"

"Figures," Sara drawled. "There's a traditional festival tonight. You game?"

Normally, Hotaru would jump at the chance to go to a traditional festival. But she wasn't at home and bored out of her mind this time. She was at Rei's, living with the person she loved.

"I think I'm going to skip this one."

"What! Hotaru, are you sure? Is Rei trying to keep you locked up but not get horny? If she is, I'll-"

"Join in?"

The expected laughter never came. With a tired sigh, Hotaru sat down on the couch.

"It's not that. I'm sure Rei would want me to go and have fun. But I shouldn't."

"Have fun?"

"No, leave her."

Silence. The youngest senshi played with the frayed hem of her favorite tank top. It was unnerving whenever Sara's quiet. It meant she was thinking hard, a little too hard…

"Are you sure? Hotaru, it's one thing to love someone, it's another to plan your life around them. Especially if they-"

"I know, I know. But it's not even that. I'm her guest, I can't just up and leave."

"So tell her you're going out."

"Sara…"

"Fine. Just make sure you know what you're doing, okay?"

"Yes, mother."

"Shut up. Well, I'm going to go break the news to Hikari and Megumi."

"Thanks. I'll see you around?"

"Yeah, bye Hotaru! Have crazy sex with Rei!"

Before Hotaru could comment, the line went dead. Violet eyes narrowed in annoyance. The blonde was so dead the next time she saw her.

* * *

Hotaru was lying on the couch, counting the imaginary dots on the spotless ceiling. It was so boring, there was _nothing_ to do! She learned a while ago that fan fiction could only provide so much entertainment before you either got tired of it or read everything. Maybe a good Hermione/Draco was up…

For the sixth time in an hour, her cell rang. The girl sat up with a growl, ready to yell at Sara. The question the girl asked the last time she called was still fresh on her mind as she picked up her phone.

"No, I will not have sex with you!"

"Wow, do you answer your cell like this all the time? I'm sure Ruka taught you that one…"

Hotaru felt her cheeks and ears burn with embarrassment as she collapsed on the couch, shocked.

"Ahh… eh-R-Rei?"

"Hello, Ru," came the soft chuckle.

With a groan, the young woman swore that she was going to _kill_ Sara, but _after_ she tortures her. She… Rei…sex… said no…. awww man!

"What are you doing?"

"I… uh… nothing much."

Rei chuckled again. "Right, if your greeting is any indication."

The college student wanted to bury herself in a hole and never come out.

"Anyway, your sex life aside, be ready at six."

"Six? Why? For what?"

"Because it's a surprise."

"Ready as in…?"

"Showered, but not dressed."

Hotaru flushed as Rei hastened to correct herself. With the greeting and sexual tension between them, neither could even mention let such a comment go by without images flashing in their minds.

"Be clothed, but not."

It was the miko's turn to groan as her explanation got her in deeper than she was already. Being eloquent was part of her job description, but she had the speaking abilities of a five-year-old around her house guest!

"Just… yeah."

"Six?"

"Yup."

"It's a-"

Hotaru snapped her mouth shut. She was about to say 'It's a date.' But that would have created even more problems than it's worth. Oh god, Hotaru! THINK before you speak!

"Hotaru, I have to go. See you tonight."

The student sighed in relief at not having to finish her sentence and started thinking about the surprise.

* * *

Rei walked into her apartment with a slight bounce in her step. She threw her jacket on the couch, looking around for any signs of Hotaru.

Hotaru. A week ago, the name would have brought happy memories of a sweet and adorable child. But now… it was a bombardment of feelings, a tingle down her spine with a picture of a mature, not to mention beautiful, young woman. The change frightened her as much as it excited her.

She looked over at the bathroom door as it opened. And out stepped Hotaru… with only a towel wrapped around her slim form.

"Oh god! Rei!"

"Ack! Sorry!"

The miko snapped around, her back facing Hotaru as her she blushed. Did they enjoy torturing her up there!

Hotaru felt her cheeks burn as she hurried into the guest room. Rei just saw her in nothing but a towel…

Her blush intensified as she scrambled to dress, ignoring her hammering heart.

The miko sat on the couch, staring straight ahead. Her house guest was far more pleasing to the eye than expected. Even the tightest clothing couldn't show off her modest but gorgeous curves. And the way those dark tresses plastered to the ivory skin, framing her face. Let's not forget the water droplets dripping from her chin, over her throat, moving across the silky skin with painful slowness and then disappearing under the towel and touching her friend's breas-

"Dear lord, stop! Hino, breathe! Don't think!"

Rei buried her face into a nearby cushion, pulling on her hair. Hotaru was her friend. Not a bed partner. Friend. Friends deserve love. Not just sex. Don't think sex. Don't think sex. Think safe things. Like boobs. No, non-sex related. Whip cream. Non-sex related. Chocolate syrup. NON-sex related. Handcuffs. NON-SEX RELATED, DAMN IT!

"Rei?"

The businesswoman sat up and saw her blushing friend standing by the entrance of the living room in a Tee and shorts. But she looked so cute!

"Umm… hey."

"Hi."

Awkward silence settled over the two. Hotaru willed herself to forget the way Rei's eyes raked over her body. Wanting her. She could feel it as the miko did it again now. Love, not sex. Love, not sex.

"So… where are we going?"

"Huh? Right, the traditional festival."

The tension faded from Hotaru's mind as she leaned forward slightly, smiling. The miko felt her heart skip a beat. Damn, she looked so beautiful like that.

"Really?"

"Yeah, there's one in town."

The college student's face suddenly fell, causing Rei to stand.

"What's wrong?"

"I don't have a kimono to wear."

Hotaru watched as her love's face blossomed into a grin, a real, happy, unforced grin. The miko walked over to the door and picked up a box. Hotaru felt her throat close, staring at the long, white box intently. No, she couldn't have… right?

"Yes," Rei whispered softly, afraid of ruining the moment, "you do."

As the businesswoman took off the top of the box, Hotaru tensed with anticipation. Her eyes widened as she saw the kimono sitting inside.

Violet eyes gazed into lavender ones, conveying everything that needed to be said without words. Rei only gave her a small smile, pushing the box into Hotaru's hands.

"Go change."

A few minutes later, Hotaru stepped out, blushing softly. It darkened when she saw Rei gaping at her.

The kimono fit her perfect, made from the finest white silk. Beautiful jasmines (which were what Rei smelled like, Hotaru realized) decorated the bottom in a lovely shade of cream, reaching a little past her knees. The silky obi was, remarkably, the same shade of lavender as Rei's eyes, causing the younger woman to smile fondly when she saw it. She had done her hair in a bun with two tendrils framing her lovely face. With a rosy blush, Hotaru looked…

'**Absolutely gorgeous,'** Rei thought, eyeing her friend, despite her best efforts not to.

"So, what do you think?"

Their eyes met as Rei smiled, the first affectionate gleam in her lavender orbs in years.

"I think you're going to get at least 100 numbers tonight."

Hotaru held a hand to her cheeks, hoping to hide her blush. The miko just grinned at the cuteness of the gesture.

"Well, I should go change, though I can't even begin to compete with you in that."

As the taller woman disappeared into her room, the short-haired girl closed her eyes. This was going to be perfect.

* * *

Hotaru stayed close to Rei as they walked through the crowd. People were rushing from one place to another on all sides, children laughing and couples kissing. The hundreds of lanterns that lit the festival from above gave everything a golden glow.

Rei, unsurprisingly, wore a red kimono with a violet obi. An orange phoenix was embroidered on the bottom, head raised proudly, much like the woman that wore it. She looked stunning, the wind playing with her hair and a smile on her lips. A smile that reached her eyes, causing them to twinkle.

"What do you want to do first?"

Hotaru looked into the eyes of her love, paralyzed by the unguarded orbs.

"I don't know, everything?"

The miko laughed, sending a shiver of pleasure down the short girl's spine.

"Hold your horses. How about one thing at a time?"

Rei was entranced as her companion shook her head, sighing dramatically. How can such a simple action affect her so?

"Fine, if we have to."

Rei rolled her eyes at the childish tone but couldn't suppress her affectionate smile. The first thing she saw was the food stands.

"Have you eaten yet?"

"Nope."

"Good, neither have I."

Without a word, Rei grabbed her friend's hand and dragged her toward the source of the delicious aroma. Hotaru stared at their touching hands, smiling.


	17. Carnival

Fallen From Grace

Rei stood outside the bathroom, waiting patiently for Hotaru to come out. They've been to eating contests, concerts, magic shows and Hotaru even dunked a guy into the pool. Who knew that girl had such a good arm?

Then again, there were booths she wished they _hadn't_ visited. Like this one with a crazy woman who made coffee bean dolls. As in she bought cans of coffee beans and made arms and legs with plastic. The young, but obviously insane, woman then dressed them up in, believe it or not, specially made DKNY, Armani, and even Versace outfits. She was a very rich woman since she had been the top editor of some magazine. But she quit her job to pursue her true passion. Needless to say, Rei pulled Hotaru the _hell_ away from there when she saw the little army of beans with torches and pitchforks…

After that, the wooden coaster caught the shorter girl's eye and Rei obliged… five times.

Ruby lips formed a smile at the memory of when Hotaru came off the ride the first time. Her cheeks were flushed, her hair slightly messy and a bewildered look on her pretty face. But seconds later, it bloomed into the most joyous excitement the miko had ever seen from Hotaru. She wanted to see it again, so much it frightened her.

So she told her houseguest that they could go on again. And time after time, that look of pure contentment and amazement appeared, causing Rei's heart to race.

And then the fifth time…

The look of joy disappeared suddenly, sending Rei into a minor panic. The shorter girl sped for the nearest garbage can… and threw up.

Caught between amusement and concern, the miko patted her back and then handed her a bottle of water when she was done. Hotaru's embarrassment was enough to make Rei feel guilty for being even half-amused. That's why she was now waiting outside the bathroom while Hotaru freshened up. But other than that, it's been fun.

Actually, the miko hasn't had this much fun in years, minus Hotaru losing her dinner. When Minako broke up with her, she buried herself in her work. It was then that she had her first taste of the habit that so disgusted her friends. She went to a club one night and ended up completely drunk. The next morning, she woke up with a hell of a hangover and in bed with a very handsome man. She forgot about it and went on with her life.

And then _it_ happened.

Minako announced she and Setsuna had been together for years.

She could remember Usagi's gasp of joy when she learned of the relationship between the leader of her court and the lonely senshi of time. Makoto and Ami were staring at the anxious couple in complete shock. Haruka and Michiru, on the other hand, stared at her.

The miko remembered the feeling of her heart breaking all over again. She felt her life being sucked out of her and falling into the despair and darkness she fell into when the blonde first broke up with her. She remembered hating Minako at that moment, hating her for finding someone new so easily.

For three years Rei had been mourning and healing from their break up. Meanwhile, the blonde was kissing, hugging, touching and loving someone else. While the miko tried to climb out of the pit of despair, Minako was happy with someone else.

She was angry. She was angry at Setsuna, her friend… one of the few people she could go to for guidance. How could she?

All eyes then turned to her. She could feel the pity oozing from their gazes. She didn't need to look to know Setsuna and Minako had guilt in their eyes. Nor did she have to look to know that there were tears threatening to fall from her Princess' eyes. And she knew that Setsuna was cautious and alert, ready to protect her girlfriend should the miko lose her temper.

And Rei stood there, blinking dumbly, trying to find something to say. Something to do. But she couldn't. It took her a few minutes just to realize her cell phone was ringing.

She fumbled for the phone in her jacket pocket, the jacket she refused to take off when they first entered Makoto's apartment. Her hands shook furiously as she flipped open the phone and, thank the lord, was met by Utena's voice. Never had she been so glad to hear from the older woman.

The soft but commanding voice snapped her back to reality. She was Rei Hino, a young and already feared business woman. She had to keep a façade of strength. Breakdowns could happen once she was away from everyone else.

Rei remembered the relief that flooded her when Utena told her she had to go to Hong Kong. Their business client was delayed there and wouldn't be able to return on time. So, she had to fly out.

The miko remembered telling Utena to book her the flight leaving in two hours. She remembered mumbling a "Goodbye" to the others, explaining the situation. She didn't look back when she walked out. But she knew their eyes were on her.

……..Flashback…….

Rei maneuvered around the tightly packed club with the grace of a lioness stalking her prey. But she wasn't hunting, not for a prey at least. Unless you considered alcohol an animal and the bar its den.

Bodies pressed against hers as the crowd moved rhythmically to the pounding beat that shook the floor, blasted from the speakers. A club in Hong Kong was no different than one in Japan, America or England. There was music, people and alcohol. That was pretty much all she needed.

As she reached the bustling bar, she asked for a beer, using the Chinese she had picked up from Utena. It would have been better to have used English, but she didn't want to attract any attention. Not tonight anyhow.

Rei picked up the beer and walked back onto the dance floor, swaying her hips and moving along the perimeter of the mass of bodies. She did this a lot, just watch people dance but try not to stick out like a sore thumb at the same time. It helped her think.

"**_Guys… we… I… I've been with Setsuna for the past few years…" _**

The blonde's words cut through her again and again, widening the gaping wound. Minako had had no problems moving on, giving the promises of love and forever to another. But she foolishly held onto what once was. She foolishly loved and she foolishly _still_ loved.

But now that her ex has announced her relationship with her friend, she should be able to move on. Right? Rei Hino was not a love sick puppy that clung to the love for a person that forgot her so easily. Rei Hino was strong and in control.

If only. She spent the past year slowly piecing together her life after two years of wallowing in self-pity. She was working on her Master's Degree, she had her own company with two good friends as partners. Then Minako comes and destroys everything again.

It was one thing if they just told her they were together. It's another to say they were together for that long. Were they together even _before_ she and Minako broke up?

Lavender eyes narrowed when she drained the last drop of beer from the bottle. Slowly, the lean body maneuvered through the maze of tangled limbs. She knew that several heads turned to look at her. But no, they would not be allowed anything but a glance.

"Another beer please."

Her English was slightly accented, though that didn't matter much in this city. She didn't even notice she had switched from Chinese to English, too preoccupied to even care if she had. The young bartender brought over her drink while Rei took a seat at the bar.

She always knew Minako would find another. After all, she was gorgeous. Not to mention kind, nice and just fucking perfect.

But it was the fact that the blonde saved her from a world of darkness that Rei clung to the memories. After Usagi's rejection, no matter how gentle it was, the miko felt herself sinking into a pit of loneliness and hurt. It wasn't a surprise, her Princess' rejection that was, but it didn't lessen the pain.

Then Minako came to her when everyone else wanted to 'give her space'. She pushed and refused to leave her be. She even asked Rei to give her a chance, so persistent that the miko had no choice _but_ to agree. And when Minako broke up with her, it was the end of a dream, the end of a fairytale. Her fairytale.

"Miss?"

In the blink of an eye, literally, the tumble of emotions disappeared as lavender orbs focused on the woman sitting besides her. Her English was close to perfect, short black hair framing a tanned face, bringing out the pale honey eyes.

"I'm not usually this bold, but may I buy you a drink?"

Rei's mouth opened instinctively to say no. She was in a time of "mourning" and other depressing stuff. But the woman before her _was_ very beautiful and she _did_ need a way to get her mind off the whole ordeal.

"I just ordered my drink," she said simply, watching the woman's face crumble with disappointment. The reaction sent a shiver down her spine and a coy smile appeared on her lips. "But, you can stick around and buy me one when I'm finished with this one…"

The other woman smiled as she made herself comfortable. She gazed at Rei with half-closed eyes, her smile one of the sexiest things the miko's ever seen.

"What's your name, gorgeous?"

"Rei. Yours?"

"Xiao."

"Pleasure," the Japanese woman drawled.

"You're not from around here. Japanese or Korean?"

"Japanese."

A seductive gleam appeared in Xiao's eyes and Rei felt a buzz go through her. And it wasn't the beer…

"Are you here for business or pleasure?"

The senshi could hear the bait in the woman's voice. But she nonchalantly sipped her drink, letting the question hang in the air. After a few seconds, she turned to the expectant woman and smiled, eyes hooded by her long lashes.

"Both."

………..End ………..

And from that day on, she started the whole sleeping around thing. It made her forget that she wasn't loved, wasn't perfect anymore, but _was_ a completely mess. But the deeper she got, the more it took to numb out of the world.

And so when she found herself standing in the park for a festival and the last time she'd slept with someone was almost a week ago, it was… unbelievable. She never knew she could be this relaxed without sex or alcohol.

"Hino-san?"

Rei looked up at the sound of her name, finding Sara, Hikari, Megumi and a handsome young man she didn't know standing only a few feet away. She smiled as they approached.

"Good evening. What are you guys doing here?"

Sara smiled brightly. "Enjoying the festivities. You?"

"Same."

"Where's Hotaru?"

Hikari elbowed Megumi for her rudeness but neither Rei nor Megumi paid it any heed.

"Hotaru? In the Ladies' Room."

Just then, the woman in question walked out of the bathroom, hair in disarray and face paler than usual. Megumi stepped forward at the sight of the girl, glare trained on Rei.

"Oh, guys, hey."

The miko watched as the four crowded around Hotaru. She wanted to make sure her houseguest was okay as well, but with the looks they were shooting her, approaching the younger girl was a bad idea.

"Hotaru," Sara whispered, stroking her friend's hair, "you don't look so good. Do you want something to eat?"

The senshi groaned and buried her face in her hands. Megumi turned, ready to launch herself at Rei. The rage in her eyes caused the miko's own anger to grow. She'd never hurt Hotaru, contrary to what her friends thought. But for the younger senshi's sake, she didn't let her anger show and stared Megumi down.

"Ru," the miko said, using the nickname in public for the first time, "wanted to go on the coaster. We should have stopped the fourth time we were on it, but we didn't."

The guy winced while Hikari and Sara began comforting the sick girl. Megumi, however, didn't back down.

"Why didn't you go into the bathroom with her?"

The miko's eyes flared to life with rage, not bothering to hide her feelings. She was ready to speak when Hotaru's soft and obviously uncomfortable voice stopped her.

"I asked Rei not to and told her that if she did I was going to walk home."

Megumi calmed but her glare didn't waver. She turned to comfort Hotaru, keeping the businesswoman away from her houseguest.

Rei's anger flared even more at the action. She cared about Hotaru just as much, no, more than Megumi did. How dare she keep her from the girl?

Hotaru was pale and quite a bit sweaty. She rested her head on Sara's shoulder, who sat besides her, wiping the sweat from her friend's brow. Hikari stroked her black hair while Megumi knelt before her, holding her small hands. Rage was pushed aside by concern. The college student looked worse than she had expected. Perhaps she_ should _take her home.

Rei detached herself from the group only to come back minutes later with a bottle of water. She walked past the guy, ignored Megumi's accusing glare and brushed off Hikari's cautious look.

Hotaru looked up, feeling the miko approach. She could see Rei's concern, but the indifferent expression made it hard for even her to find it. The miko handed her the bottle, which she took appreciatively. The bottle was soon uncapped and drained. Once done, the girl felt much better.

Gentle fingers lifted her chin up to stare into the mesmerizing lavender eyes that gazed at her affectionately. The businesswoman's expression softened.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Hotaru whispered, smiling softly, "much better."

"Are you sure?"

Megumi's exclamation destroyed the sweet moment, something that almost everyone glared at her for. Hotaru smiled and reassured her friend. She then introduced Rei to Henry, Megumi's boyfriend. Despite the poor guy's best attempts, he couldn't help but ogle the miko. _That_ annoyed his girlfriend to no end.

"Rei-san?"

The woman turned at the sound of the voice to find an old man standing nearby, a grin on his wrinkled face.

"Kajiura-san," she greeted, bowing deeply.

"Are these your friends?"

The miko introduced the five youths standing around her and them to Kajiura-san, the priest at a nearby shrine.

"Hino-san, I haven't seen you at a festival for years."

Rei bowed her head slightly. "I haven't attended one in a while."

"Since your grandfather's death, correct?"

"Yes, sir."

"He was a good man and an excellent priest. You would have been a great head priestess, Rei-san."

Rei smiled wistfully. "Things don't always turn out the way one hopes."

The old man smiled kindly. "Yes, I know that. Rei-san, if I may, I know you feel guilty about not taking over the shrine over your grandfather's death. But he would be proud of how successful as you are."

The words cut through Rei, guilt filling her. No, her grandfather would not be proud. With what she does, who would be?

"Rei-san, will you be entering the-"

"Onji-chan!"

A young girl ran up to the old man, pulling on his hand. The Shinto priest bid them farewell and left to satisfy his granddaughter's craving for funnel cake.

"You're a miko?" Henry blurted.

"I used to be."

"Oh, look!" Sara yelled suddenly. "Goldfish!"

The blonde ran over to the booth where goldfish could be won by catching them with a paper net, dragging Hikari with her. Megumi and Henry followed, curiosity forcing the brunette woman to leave Hotaru's side. Rei took this chance to sit down on the bench.

"Are you feeling better?"

The shorter girl looked at her friend, smiling. This caused the miko to swallow, eyes focusing on the pale, but no less beautiful, face.

"Yes, I am. Honestly, you guys baby me."

Lavender eyes twinkled as the woman leaned forward, a small smile on her ruby lips.

"What's wrong with being babied?"

The smirk looked almost predatory… like Rei wanted to eat her up. Hotaru looked away quickly to hide her blush.

"Hotaru! Hotaru! Look what Hikari won for me!"

A goldfish in a plastic bag was shoved in front of Hotaru's face, the hand holding it connected to a very happy Sara. Hikari stood on the side, blushing softly.

"That's great," Hotaru said beaming. Being with Sara was like being with a child sometimes.

"Good job," Rei said smirking, looking at Hikari, whose blush darkened.

"Hold it while I go get something to eat?"

Hotaru took the bag from Sara and watched as the girl dragged Hikari with her. She heard Rei laugh besides her and gave her an inquisitive look.

"What? They make an adorable couple."

Hotaru smiled back and gazed at the goldfish. "Yes, they do."

"A very unlikely couple."

Violet met lavender as the unspoken message hung in the air. Hotaru looked away first.

"Hotaru! Rei-san! Cotton candy!"

The blonde came running back while Hikari followed behind calmly. Sara offered the two on the bench a bag of pink cotton candy while Hikari offered the blue one to Megumi and Henry, who were still by the goldfish stand.

"Thanks, Sara."

"Don't thank me, Hotaru! Thank Hikari! I forgot to bring money again."

Hotaru sweatdropped as Sara began eating the green cotton candy in her hand. The blonde loved to shop but often forgot to bring money. And she doubted carnival booths took credit cards.

"Hikari, have some."

"It's okay, Sara. I don't want any."

"But, it's so good."

"Really, I-"

Before Hikari could protest, Sara shoved some into her mouth. Rei and Hotaru smiled as the brunette blushed.

"Hey, let's go to the game stands."

Megumi suddenly reappeared besides Hikari with her boyfriend, smiling at the thought of games. They all stood and started walking, looking at the different booths that caught their attention.

* * *

"Guys, I have to use the bathroom."

The group collectively groaned as Sara bounced from one foot to another. This was the fifth time in an hour! Did she have a tiny bladder or something!

"Come on, Sara, I have to as well," Rei said smiling, seeing the grateful look on everyone's face.

As they headed for the bathroom, they noticed a grassy area with bleachers and targets under a tiled, sloping roof.

"It's the archery contest," Sara said. "Every year there's a great prize. Look at this year's!"

A large poster was placed by the bleachers. The blonde besides the miko gasped.

"That's the necklace Hotaru wanted!"

Rei perked up upon hearing the comment and looked at the poster quickly. It was a pair of silver rings, each formed by a pair of wings touching tip to tip and worn on a simple, silver chain.

"She wanted to buy it but the store said they only made one and that it was already sold. I guess the city bought it to use as the prize. Shame, she really liked it too."

Sara sighed and headed for the bathroom. Rei followed.

* * *

"Where did you say Rei was?"

Megumi tried to stay calm at the sight of Hotaru's anxious expression. That was the third time she's asked since Sara came back from the bathroom alone five minutes ago.

The brunette didn't understand her friend. She told Sara to stay away but obviously wants the woman. She told the blonde how bad Hino was but didn't seem to pay attention to her own warnings.

"She saw a friend and wanted to catch up."

"Okay."

Despite the acceptance and smile, everyone could tell Hotaru was a bit upset. Megumi didn't know who she wanted to kill more: Rei for being the cause of her friend's bad mood or Hotaru for letting the miko have that effect on her.

"Ladies and gentlemen, the archery contest will start in ten minutes."

Sara jumped at the announcement, blue eyes turning to Hotaru.

"That's what I forgot to tell you! Do you remember the necklace with the rings you wanted?"

Hotaru frowned at being reminded of the one of the few pieces of jewelry she's really, really wanted. Pity it was one of a kind though.

"Yeah, I remember. What about it?"

"That's this year's grand prize for the archery contest!"

Violet eyes blinked, surprise plain on the student's face.

"Really?"

"Yeah!"

Megumi looked at the curious expression on her young friend's face. Now would be the perfect time to get her mind off of Hino.

"Let's go then."

Hotaru opened her mouth to agree but stopped. A torn look appeared on her face as she bit her lip.

"What around Rei?"

Hikari needed only one look at Megumi's face to tell the other brunette was getting more pissed by the minute. To avoid any trouble, she jumped in quickly.

"You have your cell right? Just call her."

The youngest senshi contemplated her friend's suggestion. She really wanted to wait for Rei, but the others looked really eager to see the contest. With a soft sigh, she relented and took out her cell.

A smirk appeared on her features when she hit five on the speed dial. One was for Michiru and Haruka, since the two were joined at the hip like the other couples. Two was Ami, but if you could get through to Ami, Makoto was probably with her. Three was for Minako's cell, but also the number to contact for Setsuna. Four was Usagi's cell. Five was Rei, the only one without someone…

The smirk disappeared when Rei's voice mail picked up. Doing the only thing she could, Hotaru left a message.

"All right," she mumbled to her friends, "let's go."

* * *

The stands were packed, not surprisingly. They managed, somehow, to snag seats in the middle of the fourth row. Sara was happily munching on popcorn, much to the amusement of Hotaru but the exasperation of Megumi. Hikari, of course, bought the snack for her but wisely refused to buy her something to drink.

"Ladies and gentlemen," the voice boomed over the speakers. Everyone silenced immediately. "Welcome to the 11th annual Spring Festival. As a yearly tradition, the archery contest is the main event. Please, welcome our contestants."

The audience applauded as the participants filed in and there were both men and women. Five pairs of eyes widened when Rei filed out behind a muscular blonde man.

"Is that Hino-san!" Henry practically screamed.

"Oh!" Sara cried. "Now it makes sense! Rei-san disappeared after I told her Hotaru wanted the necklace!"

Hotaru felt her heart hammer in her chest. Rei entered the contest for her? She knew better than to make assumptions, but what else can it be?

Megumi frowned. Did Hino know what she was doing? Some of the contestants were amateurs but a few were skilled professionals.

"First in the short range competition is Kaoru Hiroshi."

The petite woman detached herself from the line and approached the shooting line, her movements graceful and completely at ease. With well practiced movements, she let her first arrow fly.

Sara jumped to her feet and clapped like crazy when the arrow hit the bull's-eye. Megumi groaned while Hikari pulled the blonde back down.

"Sara!" she whispered heatedly. "Archery isn't like football or basketball! You don't cheer like that!"

"Why not?"

Hikari sighed. "Because kyudo is a way of meditation and self-control. You have to tone down a bit."

"But I cheered after she hit the bull's-eye."

Hotaru smiled softly as Hikari explained kyudo, a patient smile on her face. Sara's head bobbed up and down, listening intently to the brunette.

Several archers later, Rei's name was called. Violet eyes stared at the woman as she stood, gracefully walking over to honza or starting position and followed hassetsu. The positions and movements of her friend, dressed in a white keiko-gi and black hakama, mesmerized Hotaru as she watched. Her hair was braided loosely, a few strands framing her face. Her face, calm and tranquil, was one of the most beautiful things the college student had ever seen.

As the arrow sped through the air, Hotaru felt her breath catch in her throat. The wind encircled Rei, tugging on her robs and playing with her raven locks. The arrow hit the bull's-eye and Hotaru breathed a sigh of relief.

* * *

Rei could feel everyone's eyes on her. But the only ones that mattered were Hotaru's, and how could she not feel that intense gaze? When her arrow hit its mark, she barely stopped herself from grinning like a maniac. It's been so long since she's been in a tournament, after all. She only allowed herself a small, satisfy smile.

As she walked back to her spot, she gazed at the bow in her hand.

.…. Flashback …..

Rei walked to the group of people nearby. She was more than pleased that Sara bought her story. Rearranging her kimono just in time, Kajiura-san looked up as if sensing her approach. The old man beamed and all eyes turned to watch her.

"Kajiura-san."

"Hino-san."

Rei swallowed and gathered her courage. Don't back out.

"How can I help you, Rei-san?"

"I need to borrow a bow-"

"-and arrows? I was hoping you'd change your mind."

Kajiura smiled at the blush on the woman's face. He wondered if the decision had something to do with the beautiful girl he saw gazing at Rei affectionately.

.….. End …….

Hotaru waited anxiously while the last of the archers went. The short range round was over and it was time for the long range…

A handsome blonde man stood, the first to shoot for the long range. Only three of his five arrows reached the target. The college student was on edge as the other ten competitors went. Rei was, again, last.

The miko stepped up, a bit nervous for the first time. Not only was she horrifically out of practice, but she had never been particularly good at long range.

"Do this for Hotaru," she whispered softly under her breath.

With that, she took a deep breath and prepared herself, letting the worry and stress leave her.

"Come on, Rei," Hotaru urged, fists clenched.

The miko opened her eyes and went through the steps, finally letting the first arrow fly. It hit the target, to her amazement. She released three more arrows, all three of them hitting the target though she couldn't see where they hit exactly. An image of Hotaru flashed through her mind as she went through the steps, ready to fire the last arrow.

"For Hotaru," she whispered as the arrow flew across the grassy field and hit the target.

She sighed and finished the steps by lowering her bow. She couldn't see where the arrow had hit, but she prayed it was a bull's-eye. She turned and walked back to her spot.

Hotaru waited anxiously as the judges talked amongst themselves. She didn't know about Rei, but she was sure as hell nervous. It probably wouldn't help her nerves to know the miko was just as anxious anyhow. After a few tense moments, the winner was announced.

"Rei Hino."

Sara went crazy with applause. Hotaru didn't care anymore and joined in, glad Hikari was doing the same. Megumi sighed, throwing her hands up in the air and stood as well.


	18. By the Stars

Fallen From Grace

Rei knew she had a goofy grin on her face, she knew that people were staring at her and she also knew Kajiura-san was laughing at her silently somewhere. But that didn't matter.

She got it.

She got the necklace Hotaru wanted. No one else would have been able to get it for her, not Haruka, not Setsuna, not Usagi, not Hikari and not Megumi. Sure they could just duplicate it, but it wasn't the same thing.

A warm body tackled her, arms wrapping around her neck the second she walked out of the changing room. She didn't have to look or to even think to know who it was.

Only one person smelled like vanilla and cherries. Only one person could make her feel all fluffy inside from a simple hug. And only one person whose presence alone could make her mind shut down instantly.

"Hey, Hotaru."

The girl pulled back and their eyes met. For once, Rei's were calm and peaceful while Hotaru's were an explosion of emotions.

"You were great."

That single sentence made up for the embarrassment of having to go to Kajiura-san. She couldn't believe the way those violet eyes twinkled with adoration or the way those pretty lips smiled for her. For _her_.

"Thanks."

"You really were quite spectacular."

Rei's attention turned to the quiet brunette smiling at her. Sara exclaimed her agreement enthusiastically at Hikari's side. Megumi reluctantly nodded and Henry just smiled. Normally, Rei would be annoyed at someone like Megumi but since she was only concerned for Hotaru, she'd let it slide.

"Thanks."

Hotaru stood by Rei's side as the miko smiled. She was so beautiful when she was relaxed…

"Let's go ride the Ferris wheel!"

Everyone turned to the handsome man who had remained silent for most of the night. They then turned to the ride in question, which was quite the sight to behold with its array of glowing lights. Somehow they all understood Henry's desire to go on, the night sky creating the perfect contrast against the bright lights.

"Let's," was all Rei said.

As the group walked toward the Ferris wheel, Hotaru stayed by her fellow senshi. Occasionally, she'd take a peek at the beautiful face, but remained quiet for the most part.

Her mind still spun from the events of the day. Actually, the past hour to be honest.

Seeing Rei stand there, competing to win the necklace for her awakened the hope she thought she had subdued. The miko did it not to make Usagi happy, not for Minako and not because it was the right thing to do, but for her. Just to make her happy and for no other reason.

It was possible, of course, that the miko wanted it for herself. After all, Rei loved fashion almost as much as Minako. Damn, she was getting ahead of herself, but the joy refused to be suppressed and the warm feeling refused to be banished. Though that was fine since she didn't want them to be gone, she wanted them to stay with her always.

When they stood on line for tickets, Megumi realized that there was room for four people per cabin. So _that _meant they couldn't all be together. She and Henry would be with Hotaru and Rei to make sure the miko kept her hands off of her friend.

Sara elbowed Henry and proceeded to explain, in a hushed whisper, to the tall youth what Megumi was planning. Thank god the protective brunette's boyfriend was more reasonable and logical than she was.

Megumi snapped from her thoughts of killing the older woman when Henry's familiar arms wrapped around her waist. She suppressed a moan when he nuzzled her neck.

"Finally, a chance to be alone."

The brunette felt her knees go weak. He was right, a chance to be alone. But Hotaru-

She felt her boyfriend's lips place a soft kiss on her neck.

Eh… Hikari and Sara could watch Hino.

* * *

Hotaru sat across from Rei as the cabin began to rise from the ground. She tried to calm her nerves, not knowing exactly why she was anxious at all.

Rei stared at the girl across from her. She looked marvelous in that kimono. As they rose higher, she could see the entire city of Tokyo with its tall skyscrapers and millions of lights behind Hotaru. They gave the shorter girl a heavenly, golden glow and her hair melted into the dark blue tapestry of the sky and the stars seemed to twinkle in her silky locks…

Hotaru turned her attention from the beautiful view to look at the woman with her. The nervousness disappeared and left behind a tranquility that comforted her confused mind and soothed her hammering heart.

Rei leaned forward, eyes focusing on Hotaru's face and the city lights that seemed to blend into one giant yellow orb. There was nothing else, there would never _be_ anything else.

The college student blushed softly when the miko leaned forward. Her closeness, her mouth and the gentle look in her eyes caused both excitement to run rampant in her veins and peace to course through her body. Was love always such a contradiction? Or was it just her?

The miko licked her lips as she took out the necklace from the small box. Hotaru's eyes left hers for a brief second to gaze at the prize Rei earned and the warm, fuzzy feeling returned.

Rei watched the emotions flicker in the purples orbs she gazed into as they stared at the necklace in her hands. Those captivating eyes abruptly met hers, and the world melted away.

Hotaru opened herself to the miko completely, letting her see her gratitude and appreciation. Rei opened her mouth to say "You're welcome" when she saw it… Hotaru's limitless love for her. The college student loved her, regardless of who she was and what she's done.

At that moment, Rei was on top of the world.

Violet eyes never blinked as the archer unclasped the chain. Their eyes never left one another as skilled hands brushed Hotaru's silky skin. The college student never shivered, not wanting to destroy the moment. Once the necklace was securely around the younger woman's neck, Rei let her fingers release the chain.

Hotaru felt the weight and yearned to look down, but she couldn't break the gaze. Not now… and maybe not ever.

Rei's finger caressed the necklace and the silky skin, starting from the back of her companion's neck. As her finger approached the two rings, she tore her eyes away from the intense violet eyes to look at them. Entranced, she caressed the flawless metal.

Hotaru's breathing hitched as she felt Rei's touch through the silk of the kimono. She watched the gentle and loving expression on the miko's face in amazement, the small smile that told her exactly what her love felt. The pride in the piercing eyes for having placed the chain around her neck, the happiness and the satisfaction she saw caused her to lean forward unconsciously.

Rei looked up at the movement, feeling the inspecting gaze. Her smile grew at the sight of the bright eyes that awaited her. She didn't know anyone's eyes could shine so bright, but she did now.

They stayed like that for what seemed like eternity, eyes meeting, basking in the silence and the calm that surrounded them both. Neither of them moved to kiss the other, neither spoke nor did they profess their feelings. All they needed was the beating of their hearts, the peace that engulfed them and their eyes, which spoke volumes more than words ever could.

* * *

Hotaru and Rei were still silent when the cabin door opened and four pairs of curious eyes studied them intently. The miko stepped out first, offering her hand to help her companion out. Megumi's eyes darted from the touching scene to the necklace around her friend's neck. The other three followed her gaze and gawked. So, Rei _did_ give it to Hotaru.

"Hotaru, the necklace looks wonderful on you," Hikari complimented quietly.

"Yeah," Sara added as she grinned, "I'm jealous."

To everyone's amusement, Hikari blushed slightly, looking a bit distracted. Rei smiled softly, touching Sara on the shoulder.

"I'm sure Hikari would gladly win a teddy bear for you."

The brunette's eyes widened, and she was about to protest when the blonde turned to her with the most adorable brown eyes she'd ever seen. The tall woman felt her insides melt.

"Of course, Sara-chan."

As the college student jumped up and down, Hikari turned to glare at the smiling miko.

"Rei-san, I'm horrible at these games!"

The older woman just smiled, ignoring the fact that the glare worsened.

"I have a game you'll be great at."

* * *

Hikari sat in front of an arcade style piano, blushing like mad. She had no idea how Rei knew she played, but she wished the miko didn't.

"Hikari," Rei whispered in her ear, "you'll be fine. These songs are easy and your fellow contestants don't look like they're experts."

The brunette looked down the line of seats and keyboards. This was very much like those games where you fire the water gun at the spinning target, but for piano playing. There were six kids, five teenagers but most of them looked like airheads. Then there was this guy that seemed a bit older than her who looked like competition. Maybe if she left now…

"Thanks, Hikari."

The cheerful voice and arms around her neck appeared out of nowhere, destroying the idea. She could feel the warmth radiating from Sara's body, sending her into a state of complete bliss.

"Everyone ready?"

At the sound of the carnival worker's voice, Sara stepped back and Hikari gulped. This was it.

"On your mark, get set… PLAY!"

The notes flashed across the screen as Hikari's fingers flew across the keys. Unfortunately, it wasn't as easy as Rei had predicted, but then again, Hikari _had_ been playing since she was a toddler so she kept up with ease. By the mumbled curses around her, her opponents weren't fairing as well.

At the end of the minute, Hikari leaned back. Thank god it was over! But nervousness engulfed her. What if she didn't win Sara that giant teddy bear?

"And the winner is… number eight!"

The scream and the warm arms that reappeared around her neck told her that she had won. Sara didn't move away, an act that the brunette was very thankful for. It felt right, with her crush's arms around her.

Crush. There, she'd said finally said it. Finally admitted it. She had a crush on Sara.

"Which bear would you like, Miss?"

Hikari looked at the Sara. Their cheeks touched and she felt the blonde's lips brush against her skin, sending shivers down her spine.

"Which one would you like, Sara-chan?"

The shorter girl stood, releasing her hold on her friend. The brunette sighed softly. It was good while it lasted.

"That one."

Hikari didn't look up as she stood. She was sure Sara had chosen the black one with the purple bow. That was just the way the blonde was. Black like Hotaru's hair and purple like her eyes.

Sara felt hurt when Hikari walked towards the others without saying anything to her. Was she tired of dealing with the bubbly side of her?

With a soft sigh, she walked back to everyone. She didn't know what was up with herself tonight. Something about being at the festival, the lights, the Ferris wheel ride or maybe being with everyone. It brought out the innocent side of her that the others rarely saw. She was always the cheerful, perverted and blonde, but she was far from innocent.

"Come on, Sara," Hotaru called. "We're getting ready to leave."

"Already?"

"Yeah, Hikari wants to go home."

The comment brought another wave of hurt through the girl. They were having fun. So, why would the brunette want to go home? Was it because she's been hanging onto her all night?

* * *

Rei opened the car window as she drove. Soft music played in the background as she snuck a glance at the beauty sitting in the passenger's side.

"Rei," Hotaru whispered, "do you think something upset Hikari?"

The question brought the miko's thoughts back to the brunette and the blonde she liked. Something was definitely off.

"Yeah, Sara as well."

"What do you think it is?"

"Well, Sara was probably bothered by how Hikari was acting."

"Why was Hikari acting like that?"

Rei sighed as she stopped at the red light. She debated whether to be honest or not.

"Well…"

"Rei, if you know something…"

The pleading look in Hotaru's eyes basically destroyed any chance that she'd do the latter. She just wasn't sure how Hotaru would take it.

"Hikari thinks she doesn't have a chance with Sara."

"Oh."

Hotaru knew there was more. Rei wouldn't hesitate so much if it was just that.

"And… she knows Sara has a crush on you."

Violet eyes blinked once… twice… thrice… What! Sara had a crush on her? Oh… dear… lord!

Rei couldn't help but smile bitterly. She loved Minako so much it made her miss Hotaru's love for her. Meanwhile, Hotaru loved her and was oblivious to Sara's crush on her. Ironic, wasn't it?

"How… how do you know?"

Lavender eyes gazed sympathetically at the shocked girl. It's hard when you first find out that someone likes you, especially someone close to you. She should know…

"It's in her eyes."

"Ah."

Hotaru looked out the window, mind reeling from the news. Sara, blonde, beautiful and sexy Sara liked her.

"What should I do?"

"Nothing."

The miko ignored the look of shock on her companion's face. She met the younger senshi's eyes with her own for a second, displaying her sympathy in the gaze.

"If you get involved in this, it'll get even more complex."

"But-"

"Things happen for a reason, Hotaru. Even when something happens that doesn't seem to have a purpose, it always does in the end. Don't rush into this thinking you have to save them both. Let them save themselves."

Hotaru felt as if the words were a slap in the face. Don't go rushing into someone's life thinking you can save them. That was in essence what she tried to do. But Rei saved her first, that was the difference here.

Did Rei not want to be saved? Not by her, at least?

* * *

Rei found herself gripping the steering wheel tighter and tighter. Everything happens for a reason. That's it Hino, give her advice you yourself never listened to. Everything happens for a reason.

All right, let's put that to the test.

Her mother died when she was young so that she could be independent. Acceptable, kind of, at least.

Her father left her so she could live with her Grandpa at the shrine. And because she was a miko, she was more in tuned with the supernatural and could help fight the forces of evil better. Once again, she didn't like it, but it was acceptable.

She fell in love with Usagi to awaken her frozen heart. Acceptable.

Usagi didn't love her back so that Minako could come into her life and bring her to new levels of happiness. Easy one.

Minako left her because…

What was the reason for that?

From the corner of her eyes, Rei looked over at the girl sitting beside her and her features softened.

Hotaru's lips formed a slight pout as she tried to listen to the miko's advice. Her long lashes brushed against her pale cheeks as her beautiful eyes stayed half-closed. Rei wanted to reach over and run her fingers through the silky hair Hotaru had let down, which now brushed against her cheeks.

Rei slammed on the breaks, sending the car, herself and Hotaru jerking forward. The college student let out a soft yelp as Rei was snapped from her thoughts.

"Rei!"

"Sorry," the miko answer half-heartedly as she started driving again.

Was that it? Was Hotaru the reason that Minako left her? So that the college student could find her way into her heart?

Well, Hotaru has always been in Rei's heart. They were friends and the miko used to see the girl as a sort of daughter. And now…

Now she was something more. Someone that made Rei's heart do crazy things that only Usagi made it do. She was someone that the miko trusted, in ways that she trusted only Minako. And Hotaru was there when she needed her. She offered and showed her love when everyone else was tired of doing so.

Rei looked at Hotaru discretely, managing to keep her eyes somewhat on the road. The most unlikely woman has broken her shields.

Was that it?

* * *

Rei opened the apartment doors and let Hotaru in first. The college student took off her shoes and quickly entered her room to change. The miko did the same, reemerging in sweats and a tank.

"Rei, are you going to shower?"

And there she stood, dressed in a pair of cut off sweats and an oversize T-shirt. Her hair was still down, raven locks teasing her red cheeks and neck. Pink lips were parted slightly as Hotaru cocked her head to one side, an incredibly innocent expression on her face. Dark eyes studied the miko, waiting patiently for an answer.

Waiting patiently for an answer.

Waiting patiently for an answer…

Oh! That would be her turn.

"Ummm… no, I'm too tired."

Hotaru paused and seemed to contemplate the idea herself. To shower, or not to shower, that was the question. She certainly didn't have the energy. But she didn't want to offend Rei with her smell either.

"Take one tomorrow," the miko drawled as she walked over to the dining table and sat down.

"Good idea."

The comment caused a smile to appear on both their faces as the college student plopped down on the couch. Rei looked up at the stars, watching them twinkle against the dark blue velvet of the night sky. She closed her eyes for a second, remembering how it felt to stand on the moon in her past life and look out at the universe, uninhibited by the Earth's atmosphere.

The feeling of being surrounded by infinite burning stars, each lighting the cold and dark universe. Even if you couldn't feel it, heat radiated from all of them, engulfing her in a world of warmth and color.

Her mother told her once that she was a star. Hot with an untamable fire, her spirit strong and blinding once she set her mind to something. A star was just itself, neither evil nor good. But it was how the people viewed it that made it one or the other. So she wasn't good or evil, nice or snobby. It was the way that people chose to view her that made her either one thing or another.

How wrong her mother was.

Warmth enveloped her as silky skin brushed against her own while a pair of arms wrapped around her neck, hugging her from behind. Lavender eyes opened but didn't look at her companion since she felt their cheeks press together.

"Hmm…?"

"I just thought you looked like you were in deep thought."

Rei smiled, leaning back into the embrace.

"I was."

"Really?" Hotaru whispered, her breath tickling Rei like invisible fingers on her skin. "What about?"

The miko looked up at the glass ceiling and leaned her head back against her friend's shoulder.

"The stars."

The college student mimicked her. It was such a clear night, the crescent moon shining brightly.

"They're beautiful."

"They always are."

Hotaru smiled at Rei's answer, leaning her head against the miko's. The businesswoman closed her eyes, relishing the contact.

"Rei?"

"Hm?"

Hotaru took the miko's hand and placed in it the necklace. Lavender eyes met violet in confusion.

"I don't deserve it."

"What are you talking about?"

The college student stood, walking away quickly. The chair made a shrill sound when Rei hastily stood, pushing it back.

"Give it to someone special."

"But you are special."

Hotaru turned, eyes meeting with Rei's. They were across the room from one another, yet closer than they've ever been. Rei's heated whisper held both in place, one from shock and the other in disbelief at voicing her thoughts. But she had already said it, without thinking first, true, but that didn't mean she was lying. She wasn't.

"Rei-"

"Hotaru," the miko interrupted firmly. Normally, she would approach her guest but she realized that moving now was impossible.

"I won this for you."

The statement transported the younger girl to a new level of bliss. There. It was out. It had been done for her. Thank the gods.

"I wouldn't have entered if I hadn't found out you wanted it. Sure, it's pretty, but I haven't entered an archery contest in seven years."

The confession caused Hotaru to float even higher in her newly found heaven. But the hesitation in the miko's voice kept her grounded.

"So, when you tell me to let someone special have it, you don't know that's already true."

Rei swallowed. She had to do it now. Any longer and she'd hide, letting the courage fade.

"You are special to me, more than you thought… more than _I_ thought."

That's it, Hotaru could have died then and there, and she would have done so as the happiest person in the world. She was special to Rei. She, Hotaru Tomoe, little nobody, was a somebody to Rei Hino.

"So, this is for you. This…" lavender eyes traveled to the necklace in her hand. "This is my way of saying 'thank you.' Because I can't say it any other way."

Rei brought her eyes back up to meet Hotaru's. The emotions swimming in both were enough to drown them.

"This belongs to you."

The miko placed the necklace on the table and walked out the room. Hotaru stood still for a moment, trying to grasp what it all meant. She approached the table and picked up the necklace, fingering the rings as she smiled.

It didn't matter what it all meant. Only that it was.


	19. Dancing With An Angel

Fallen From Grace

Smoking was very bad for you. Everyone knew that. She didn't even do it that often. Only when the need arose. And **damn**, did she need it now.

The cigarette bud was flicked to the ground, then crushed by the heel of a black boot. Another was whipped out from the pack by a shaking hand and brought to a pair of ruby lips. The hands then fumbled for a lighter, drawing a curse from the beauty when none was found.

A hand holding a lighted match appeared in her line of vision and provided the fire needed. Without thinking, the woman took a long drag, feeling the toxins enter her system.

"That's your seventh one in ten minutes."

Purple eyes turned to the stoic woman beside her, then returned to their study of the streets below.

"Okay, let's try it this way. What the hell is wrong with you?"

"Guess. Take a long, hard guess."

"You're so transparent."

"Well?" the dark-haired woman snapped.

"Hotaru."

Silence. Utena Takahashi sighed and massaged her temple. Why did her friend have to make everything so complicated?

"What happened now?"

Rei glared at her partner from the corner of her eyes but didn't give her the satisfaction of turning to her.

"I went to the fair yesterday."

"I saw."

Utena caught Rei's "tell me now or die" look and sighed again.

"Don't you read the paper anymore or is Hotaru the only thing that can catch your interest nowadays?"

The miko was silent, though her glare worsened.

"It's in the papers, Rei."

"What?"

"Entertainment section. Haven't you noticed the looks you've been getting all day?"

Rei did notice the looks of the employees and heard the whispers. But they always did that. Why should today be any special?

Wait, she was in the papers? Damn, there goes her attempt at staying out of the media.

"The necklace is pretty,"

"Hotaru wanted it."

Utena silently mouthed "oh" as a look of understanding appeared on her face.

"So, you won it for her."

"Yes."

"Was she grateful?"

"Yes."

"So, the problem is…?"

Rei remained silent and stared at the streets below. Her partner waited patiently, but she wasn't _that_ patient when it came to something potentially important.

"Well?"

"I don't know what to do."

"What to do as in…?"

"I… I have feelings for her, and they're not like before."

**'THANK YOU!'** Utena mentally screamed to every deity known to man. Finally, Hino has acknowledged her feelings for the girl. About damn time!

"And the problem is?"

Rei took another long drag and turned to Utena. The older woman was immediately struck by the jumble of emotions in those lavender eyes.

"I don't know what to do."

Desperation. Fear. Hesitation. Things Utena was not used to seeing from Rei.

"I don't know if I love her or if I'm just lusting for her. Can I _ever_ love her?"

"Rei-"

"I don't want to lead her on, Utena. I can't. I know how it feels to be dumped and given, 'it's not you, it's me.' I don't want to do that to her. I _can't_ do that to her."

The older woman stared at her partner. The miko's eyes were closed, her face contorted in pain. Pale arms wrapped around her own slender body in an attempt to protect herself. The cigarette lay forgotten on the floor.

"If I can't love her, ever, then it's better to let her forget whatever she's feeling for me. I don't want to hurt her."

Brown eyes closed slowly, feeling the wind play with her black hair. What should she tell Rei? Try to love her? Let her go?

"Can you love her?"

The miko opened her eyes, slowly turning to look at the woman beside her. Was Utena deaf? Hasn't she been talking about how she didn't know whether or not she could love Hotaru?

"I'm serious, Rei. Forget about how you might hurt her, forget about the consequences. Can you love her? Are you _capable_ of loving anyone?"

Utena watched as the other woman braced herself on the railing, her shoulders slumping as she seemed to curl up. Her lavender eyes stared at the ground. There she was, the real Rei Hino, a woman broken by love…

"More importantly…"

Rei felt her partner kneel beside her, a hand taking hold of her chin. She suddenly found herself staring into Utena's grave brown eyes.

"Will you let yourself take the chance of loving and maybe getting hurt again?"

* * *

Hotaru sat on the couch, fingering the rings around her neck.

Rei…

'**What are you thinking? What are you _feeling_?'**

She gripped the rings tightly in her hand, eyes closing as her head tipped back.

Special.

Special as in what? A best friend? A daughter? A fellow senshi? A little sister?

A lover?

Without opening her eyes, Hotaru rolled off the couch and stood, hand still clenching the necklace.

So many days. She's been at Rei's for so long. The most intense two weeks of her life. And she has yet to know her _exact_ place in the miko's life.

Who was she to Rei? Just a companion to go to a concert or a fair with?

- "You are special to me, more than you thought… more than I thought…" -

Hotaru spun around and threw the cell phone in her other hand at the wall with a growl.

Why did she have to give the necklace to her? Didn't Rei know she's just making things so much more complicated?

* * *

Kenji was surprised when he saw Hotaru Tomoe walk out of the elevator. Rei hadn't mentioned that the girl was coming over. With a large grin, he headed to meet her.

When Utena stepped forward, however, he stopped. Both women seemed a bit… too serious… as they spoke. His partner nodded curtly and led the younger woman down the hallway, leaving him confused.

………..

Rei frowned as she heard her door open, but didn't look up. Probably someone dropping off more paper work. The person approached her desk and stood there for a long time.

"Just set them down and lea-"

The sentence hung in the air as lavender eyes meet violet. The miko closed her mouth, trying not to show her shock, and failing miserably.

"Hotaru?"

"I came to tell you something."

Rei's heart sank at the flat tone and expressionless face. She could imagine all the possible things her friend would say. And she didn't like any of them, quite honestly.

"Yeah?"

"I'm leaving."

Shocked eyes widened as Rei's ruby lips parted to protest.

But she couldn't. She had no right.

What could _possibly_ be said now?

'Stay, please. I can't offer you anything, I don't even know if I can ever love you, but stay.'

Rei closed her mouth.

'**Idiot, did you really think Hotaru would wait forever? Wait for you to get over yourself and love her?'**

'**Say something!'** Hotaru's mind screamed. **'Anything! Tell me you love me! Tell me you like my company! Just tell me to stay…'**

'**It was fun while it lasted,' **Rei thought bitterly.** 'It was fun feeling loved again. It was fun knowing someone cared. But it had to end sometime.'**

Hotaru's eyes bore into Rei's. Neither of them moved.

'**Say it, Rei. Just _say_ it.'**

Nothing.

Violet eyes looked away first and Hotaru cleared her throat. She smoothed her skirt, looking down as Rei seemed to break from the trance.

"Haruka and Michiru came home this morning."

"I see."

Silence.

Hotaru turned, prepared to walk out. So, this is the end. The confusion, the complications, the bond, the excitement, the rush… the emotions…

"Wait."

Rei watched as the girl stopped but didn't turn. Part of her clung desperately to the last two weeks. She couldn't just let it go like this.

"Let's go have a drink somewhere."

…………

Hotaru followed Rei into the club. The bouncer recognized the miko and let her in without a word. The place was packed, throngs of people dancing happily and drinking. No wonder the club was called "Ecstasy."

"What do you want?"

Rei watched as her companion turned to her, memorizing every detail. This would be her last opportunity to do so.

"Just a beer."

Minutes later, Hotaru found herself in the VIP section, sitting on a comfortable sofa while Rei sat in an armchair across from her. The room was dimly lit, but the flashing lights below were more than enough to make up for that.

Rei sipped her wine, eyes focused on Hotaru's boots. No matter how much she wanted to look into those violet eyes, she knew she couldn't.

"So, how was work?"

"Good."

The silence rang in their ears more than the pounding music and the shouts of the dancers below combined. Rei looked up, a deadly mistake.

She was at once struck by Hotaru's beauty, a different one from usual. Her hair appeared even darker than usual, pure black in the light, or lack there of, contrasting with her pale, ivory skin. She blended into the darkness with her black turtleneck and black skirt. Hotaru was half lounging on the couch; a bent arm resting on the armrest supported her head while seemingly bored eyes stared at the bottle in her hand.

So this is what Hotaru looked like in her world. The slight part of her pink lips was almost enough to send Rei off the chair and into the college student's lap.

"So, did Haruka and Michiru enjoy their trip?"

"Yes, I suppose so,"

'**That's why they left me alone with you for so long,'** the younger woman added mentally.

"Good."

Silence once again. The tension in the air was almost pallable.

"Hotaru."

"Yes?"

"Do you love me?"

The beer bottle stopped in its journey to the eager pink lips. The younger senshi just sat there, frozen.

Rei had _no_ idea what possessed her to ask that question. Not a single clue. The answer was obvious and yet… she wanted to hear it from Hotaru's lips.

No, no, it was stupid. Stupid to ask. What if she said no? What if Hotaru finally came to her senses? Rei shifted.

"Do you want to dance?"

Hotaru nodded silently, willing to do just about anything to get out of answering. She couldn't believe the miko actually asked her. Wasn't it obvious? The college student hated to admit it, but her love went from a secret to practically the top story on the six o'clock news.

The two made their way downstairs and onto the dance floor. Rei's racing heart calmed at the beat of the music. Her mind cleared once she saw the flashing lights. This was where she belonged.

Hotaru was thankful the miko managed to squeeze them into a good place. It was close enough to the speakers to eliminate all chances of conversation but far enough not to pop their eardrums.

Rei tipped her head back and finished her wine, an action Hotaru took in greedily. The way the raven hair brushed against the white fabric of the miko's blouse and the way her elegant neck stretched and revealed more of the creamy skin was far more intoxicating than the beer she had left upstairs. Even the simple movement of placing the wine glass on one of the speakers gave the younger woman an excellent view of the miko's bosom, already showing since she had left the first few buttons of her blouse undone.

The first song was an intense fast song. To Rei's surprise, her companion moved with ease, keeping up with the beat and cutting loose. Seeing the contentment of the other woman, the miko decided to throw caution to the wind, though she was still careful not to touch Hotaru too much.

The two danced, blending into the crowd yet always staying one step ahead of everyone else. They predicted the next note, the next rhythm and the other's next move. It was their own little world, where when their eyes were open they saw the object of their desire and when they were closed they saw only their fantasies.

Pretty soon, they were both sweating. Rei loved the way Hotaru closed her eyes when she threw her head back and let the smoke-filled air caress her fine locks. She loved the way her friend managed to sway her hips hypnotically to even the fastest beat. And she loved the sight of her friend free, loose and all too sexy.

_- Dancing with an angel,_

_Baby I need you close to me,_

_For just another day -_

Damn, dancing was supposed to take her mind _off_ of Hotaru, not remind her of the current situation. Stupid DJ.

_- Is there a reason I don't know,_

_For you to run away- Destiny of Love. -_

Rei bit her lip, eyes squeezing shut. Hotaru _was_ running away. Away from their muddy relationship, from the confusing emotions and from her. But why?

That was the dumbest question Rei Hino has ever asked herself. Why? Who in their right mind would stay? Has she ever professed any feelings or even offered the chance of a relationship?

Oh, yeah, and she also flat out asked Hotaru if she loved her.

Very sensitive.

_- Is there nothing I can do_

_To make you change your way? -_

A question Hotaru's often asked Rei, though never out loud. She used to believe that love could fix everything. But it can't. That was just a misconception, nothing but the dreams of a dazed fool, crazed and intoxicated by love.

But she knew better now. Love can't conquer all. It can't make all the pain and demons go away. And despite certain couples she knew, it _wasn't_ always perfect.

But you'd expect her to know that. After all, she was Hotaru Tomoe, Sailor Saturn and the most depressed and cynical of the bunch.

She did know, but she never accepted it. Part of her burned with the childish hope that love was perfect and without its bumps and bruises. At least, when it came to true love.

_- Is it love when you want somebody near you? -_

If that was love, then Rei loved Hotaru. More than she thought. Because she wanted the smaller woman in her arms, her lips bruising those luscious cherries and her hands all over that petite body. She wanted to feel Hotaru pressed against her, feel her heat and have her scent fill her senses.

_- Can't you stay? -_

'**Can't you stay, Hotaru? Just stay with me. Wipe away all the pain with your eyes and replace the icy caress of the loneliness consuming me with the fires left in the wake of your touch. Just let me feel loved again.'**

_- Dancing with an angel,_

_standing by my side, talking with me._

_Dancing with an angel_

_And I hear that voice inside._

_Dancing with an angel. -_

Their bodies moved to the music, hearts pumping to the beat and their minds trying their best to make sense of what they shared.

Angels, beings so pure that it hurt to gaze at them.

And it did hurt the when they looked at each other. Hurt them to the very core of their existence, filling their souls with grief. The miko knew the angel before her was reluctant to save her. Maybe not consciously, but in the end it was all the same. It left her exactly where she'd started.

And Hotaru couldn't gaze at her love, because it hurt too much to know that she couldn't save the fallen angel.

_- Baby, I love you,_

_But I can't follow you. -_

'**I can't follow you, Rei,'** Hotaru screamed in her mind. **'I want to be with you, but I can never walk down that path with you. I can't let myself fall as well. It's selfish, but it would tear me apart.'**

_- So walk away. -_

Rei gazed at the beauty beside her, seeing the doubt and grief in those violet eyes. She already knew what Hotaru wanted. She wanted to get away as quickly as possible.

And Rei will let her. She will let the angel slip between her fingers. Because she deserved better. Better than a broken woman with an empty soul and a frozen heart. Better than being dragged down to her level. So, she will perform one last act of good: she will let her go.

The song continued but neither paid attention to the lyrics. The screams of pain in their hearts blocked out everything else. But they never stopped moving. Stopping meant ending. Ending meant walking away, from each other and everything they've shared. That was one type of hell neither one could bear just yet.

After a few more songs, the two headed for the bar, the tension and dread destroying the relaxed atmosphere they had shared at the beginning of the dance. As Hotaru jumped onto an empty stool, Rei stood behind her, unable to squeeze into the throng of people crowded around the bar.

"What do you want?" the smaller girl tossed over her shoulder.

The noise in the club caused the soft voice to die out long before it could reach Rei, but the miko nevertheless knew what her companion asked. She leaned forward, a hand resting on Hotaru's shoulder.

"Gin and Tonic."

Rei's breath tickled Hotaru's skin, sending electric pulses up and down her already sensitive body. Her hands itched to reach back and pull those lips to hers but she crushed the desire. She was leaving Rei, not making out with her.

"Two Gin and Tonics."

The bartender nodded, casting a lustful glance at the two women. They were both sweaty and slightly disheveled, but still beautiful. Hotaru unconsciously leaned against Rei as the exhaustion of dancing that long with the seductive woman began to take its toll. Rei responded by wrapping the arm on the smaller woman's shoulder around her, pulling her closer.

The drinks soon arrived, something Hotaru was thankful for as she downed it, so fast Rei barely caught the movement. The miko stared at her in concern, but shrugged as she sipped her drink from the highball glass with controlled grace.

The woman to Hotaru's right stood up abruptly, leaving the bar and bringing her crowd of admirers with her as she left. The miko moved from her position behind her friend, somewhat regretfully to be honest, and slid into the vacant seat. She crossed her legs and leaned against the bar in a motion so fluid Hotaru had to restrain herself from licking her lips.

'**Damn, it must be the atmosphere,' **the smaller woman thought.** 'That or the liquor's starting to work its magic already.'**

'**Who are you joking? You've always wanted to jump her,'** came the annoying little voice in the back of Hotaru's mind.

Lavender eyes read the distress from the expression on the college student's face and understood her turmoil. She herself was trying to resist the lustful urges that engulfed her body in bursts of passionate flames.

'**Down, Hino,'** she chastised herself before sipping her drink. **'You've already lost all chances of having a relationship with her. Don't screw up your friendship too.'**

The miko looked over and groaned softly, a throaty sound that would've driven Hotaru to the edge if she had heard it. But the girl was currently in her own little world, staring at one of the more colorful bottles behind the bar. Her violet eyes were hooded by her bangs as she leaned forward, causing the bartender to stare a little harder halfway down the bar. Her small hand reached into her empty glass, long fingers extracting a piece of ice.

Then, in what seemed like slow motion for Rei, she brought the ice to her lips, her tongue darting out to lick the frozen treat. Her eyes closed blissfully as the exquisite taste lingering from the liquor hit her senses and the ice cooled her.

Rei groaned again, burying her face in her arms. How was she supposed to resist _that_? Or _her_ for that matter? She was fighting a losing battle and for once, she didn't even have the strength to put up a decent fight.

Hotaru looked over at the motionless figure of her friend with her head in her arms. A frown marred the smaller woman's delicate features, the sensory explosion she experienced seconds ago forgotten.

"Rei, are you okay?"

The raven-haired woman's head snapped up, amethyst eyes refocusing on the concerned woman.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"Are you sure? You look a little sick."

"I'm fine. You look a little flushed though."

Hotaru shrugged and took off her turtleneck sweater. Not the smartest thing to do. The second Rei saw those pale shoulders and that flawless skin, she downed the rest of her drink. Bad. Very bad.

"Rei-"

Hotaru was cut off when a man stumbled to the bar, bumping into her and sending a few drops of his wine onto her shoulder. The pale girl frowned in annoyance and reached for a napkin as the man rudely stumbled away without apologizing. She cursed under her breath as she finally managed to get her hand on a napkin.

But there was no need when Rei suddenly leaned forward, ruby lips kissing away the first drop. Hotaru froze, staring wide-eyed at the woman she was trying to leave.

Instead of moving away, Rei wrapped her arms around her friend's waist, pulling the petite body to her.

Hotaru couldn't tell if this was real or some crazy dream. Rei would never kiss her, much less on her neck. And she would never press her body against her own with such need. And Rei would _definitely_ never lick her neck…

Wait.

A groan escaped her pink lips at the miko's touch. The older woman was now standing, forcing her friend against the bar. Her tongue darted out, licking the drops of liquor and teasing Hotaru relentlessly.

Rei had no idea what the hell she was doing as she trailed butterfly kisses along Hotaru's shoulder and neck. The dams broke and all control went flying out the window. Consequences be damned, she wanted Hotaru. She _needed_ Hotaru.

The college student placed a hand on the miko's shoulder as a moan made its way out of her mouth from deep within her chest. The other hand ran through the dark purple hair of her seducer, caressing the strands with both fondness and raw desire.

Rei almost went crazy at Hotaru's touch, her legs growing weak as she grabbed the bar with her right hand to support herself. She couldn't stay here with Hotaru, she would do something. So, without a word, she stepped back and pulled her companion to her feet, her arm never leaving the petite waist.

Violet eyes blinked in confusion and longed for the ruby lips on her skin. But she wouldn't question Rei. One look at the smoky lavender eyes reassured her more than words ever would.

The two made their way back onto the dance floor just as a song with a tantalizingly slow tempo and the most hypnotic allure started. The two moved to the music, though not as far apart as before.

_- Turn around and smell what you don't see_

_Turn around… it's so clear -_

The two pressed against each other, hands everywhere, finally getting a chance to touch. Rei buried her face in the short hair she adored so much, moaning when she felt Hotaru's hand caress her back. She returned the favor by trailing kisses up the younger girl's neck, causing the woman's knees to buckle.

- Don't think twice before you listen to your heart -

Hotaru felt Rei's arms catch her and with sadistic pleasure the miko began nibbling on her ear. The desire in her rose and she gripped the woman's shoulders tightly.

Rei pulled back, looking at her friend's face with fear. Did she want to stop?

The shorter girl stared into the miko's eyes, slightly out of breath and her own violet eyes smoky with need. Rei couldn't look away and sure as hell couldn't think. She bent down and captured her friend's lips.

_- Follow the trace for a new start. -_

The action, as cliché as it sounds, caused the entire world around them to slip away. They heard neither the pounding music nor felt the sweaty bodies pressing against them. They were only aware of their lips touching and their own hearts pounding in their ears.

Despite the ferocity at which they tugged and touched each other before, the kiss was gentle, slow and tender. They managed to keep out the lust and passion that consumed them, leaving behind only the pure form of their feelings for each other.

_- What you need,_

_And everything you feel_

_Is just a question of the deal. -_

The two broke away, out of breath and stunned. Hotaru brought a hand to her lips, shocked that she had finally kissed Rei. After all the ruined chances and untimely interruptions, they finally kissed.

And it was like Heaven. That was the only way to describe it. Nothing else did it justice.

Rei licked her lips, Hotaru's taste lingering. She craved another kiss, to touch those lips with her unworthy ones and to feel the soft rose petals again…

Before Hotaru could catch her breath, Rei's ruby lips claimed hers once again. The miko pulled her small body to her own lean one, arms wrapped tightly around the petite waist. The younger girl moaned softly while her arms snaked around her love's neck, fingers leaving feather-light kisses on the nape of Rei's neck.

The action only caused the miko to increase the passion of what started as a tender caress of lips. She nibbled on Hotaru's bottom lip, effectively causing the girl to part her sweet lips.

_- The experience of survival is the key_

_To the gravity of love. -_

Hotaru met the miko's eager tongue with her own, creating a dance only the two of them could ever partake in. Her small hands traveled along the woman's neck, burying themselves in the miko's thick mane and leaving the same airy touches there as she did on her neck.

Rei moaned, feeling her desire grow. She was fully aware of Hotaru smiling smugly against her lips as they kissed, something she intended to change. Without breaking the kiss, her hand slipped under the smaller woman's shirt, pressing it against the sweaty skin with loving force. She caressed her right shoulder blade before raking her nails down the dark-eyed girl's back.

The action caused the shorter girl to tremble and break the kiss, panting as she buried her face in the crook of the older woman's neck. Just as Rei began to smirk in triumph, she felt moist kisses on her skin.

'**Oh dear gods, she _is_ a little temptress isn't she?'**

The kisses moved up the miko's graceful neck before they stopped all together. Rei opened her mouth to protest when she felt a sharp tug on her left earlobe.

"Oh god, Hotaru…"

Violet eyes opened, twinkling deviously. Oh… how much she was enjoying this…

Rei knew they couldn't stay here much longer. She was ready to throw Hotaru onto the bar and take her right in this damn club. But no, not here.

The college student squealed when the miko suddenly gathered her in her arms and lifted her off her feet before stalking towards the exit. She felt the impatience and aggravation rise in her companion and smiled in triumph.

The cool night air calmed Rei a bit, though not by much. The feel of Hotaru pressed against her and those pink lips on her shoulder was enough to counter any affect the crisp air was having on her.

Hotaru felt herself being placed on the hood of Rei's car as she searched her pockets for her keys. Where the Hell were they?

One look at the violet eyes of Hotaru Tomoe clouded with lust caused the miko to stop her search and lean over to capture the tantalizing lips. Before either of them knew it, the smaller girl was lying on the hood, tank top on the ground.

"Fuck the rules," Rei growled as light surrounded them both.

The silence and darkness of the miko's apartment surround them, replacing the chilled air of the parking lot. Hotaru felt herself pressed against the door to Rei's room while their lips remained locked in a heated kiss. Her hand frantically searched for the doorknob and turned it forcefully when she found it. The two stumbled into the room… and never made it to the bed.

* * *

Rei groaned softly as she was released from sleep. She was sore… very sore… but incredibly happy. She felt light and all warm inside.

Hotaru…

The thought forced her to open her eyes and greedily sought out the beautiful girl.

But she found nothing.

The indentation beside her on the bed was cold. Rei snapped to a sitting position, eyes searching frantically for any sight of the girl. Only her own clothes, haphazardly thrown on the floor, met her.

'**Maybe she's in the shower…'**

The miko fanned out her senses, searching her apartment for any sign of the younger girl's aura.

Nothing.

Rei's mouth parted slightly, wide eyes staring unblinkingly at the sheets tangled around her legs.

Hotaru left.

She didn't even hope that the girl went out and would be back soon. She knew Hotaru was gone. And she was not coming back.

The woman curled into a tiny ball, ignoring the cold biting her as the tears fell.

She was alone.

* * *

The first song is "Dancing With An Angel" from Ayashi no Ceres. The second one is "Gravity of Love" by Enigma. Neither, of course, belong to me. But do check them out if you have a chance. The latter is especially amazing.

- Twitch


	20. Wait & See

Fallen From Grace

Haruka opened the door, smiling widely when she saw her daughter's face.

The raven-haired girl's expression, however, caused the smile to disappear. Her clothes were a mess, her hair sticking up in all directions and her arms wrapped tightly around herself.

But the worse were her eyes.

They were cold and dull with pain. She brushed past the tall blonde without a word and rushed upstairs.

"Hotaru-"

"I don't want to talk about it," the younger girl said softly, her voice hoarse.

Michiru came out just in time to see Hotaru race up the stairs. She stared worriedly at her lover, whose blue eyes narrowed.

"Hino."

* * *

. 

Hotaru lay on the bed, curled up while her unfocused eyes stared at the wall.

She wore the skirt she had on last night but a different shirt. The one from last night was on the ground of the parking lot and her turtleneck somewhere in the club.

She was vaguely aware that it had been her favorite sweater and most comfortable shirt, but that didn't matter now.

What _did_ matter?

Perhaps the fact that she had finally kissed Rei last night. Maybe it was the two of them making love until after the sun came up. Or was it her leaving?

Violet eyes closed painfully at the memory.

….. Flashback …..

Hotaru moaned softly as she opened her eyes. The first thing she saw was Rei's face close to hers. Her long lashes brushed against her silky skin and a smile rested peacefully on her red lips.

The beauty that greeted Hotaru was enough for her to forget everything else. She first noticed the fact that Rei was holding her tightly, pressing their bodies together. She shifted a little, realizing that one arm was curled against Rei's heart and the other was draped over the miko's waist possessively.

Hotaru could smell the proof of last night's activities mixing with Rei's scent of jasmine and vanilla, with a hint of burnt spices.

'**She smokes,'** Hotaru finally realized.

Her nose always detected a faint scent of herbs, burnt herbs to be precise, but never quite placed it. Now that she has, she wasn't annoyed or disgusted. The smell was faint and oddly reassuring… even pleasant.

Hotaru snuggled deeper into the woman's embrace, feeling more content now than all the happy moments in all three of her lives combined. It just seemed so right, lying in bed with Rei, wrapped in her arms and her scent.

"Hmmm… Mina…"

Cloud nine crashed to the ground as violet eyes snapped open, her blood running cold. Did Rei just say…

Oh god. It was a cruel joke. All of it. She was happy, so damn happy. But the miko had to…

Hotaru tore herself from the embrace of the one she loved, not caring if it would wake her. It didn't.

The college student collapsed on the floor, her body numb to the cold morning air. Her eyes filled with tears as they gazed at the floor.

It was a lie. All of it. The dancing, the kissing, the touching… the love making.

'**It wasn't love making!'** Hotaru screamed in her mind as she sobs tore through her throat. **'It was sex! Face it, Tomoe, you got played. You let your fucking lust control you. And you did the only thing you didn't want to, you had mindless sex with her.'**

Hotaru scrambled to her feet, hands shaking as she gathered her clothes.

She wanted to have meaningless sex before, she thought it wouldn't matter as long as she had Rei.

She must have been insane. It hurt… so much. To know Rei had slept with her but it meant nothing…

She was just another Minako replacement.

The thought caused more tears to well up in the dark orbs already filled with evidence of her pain.

Hotaru ran out of Rei's bedroom and into the living room of the apartment that she had come to see as another home. But now it seemed so foreign and too painful to bear.

The college student ran to the door, grabbing a shirt she had left on the couch, pulling it on. She slammed the door of the apartment shut… and never looked back.

….. End …..

The pain intensified as she lay on the bed, alone while the memories washed over her. The best night of her life had meant nothing. She had just been a doll, a replacement for the one Rei really wanted. It was just sex.

The tears started anew.

* * *

. 

Rei sat on the cold, hardwood floor of her living room, back against a wall. She ignored the bitter cold biting her tank top clad form as her hand moved gracefully to give her lips access to the bottle. Taking a long drink, she stopped only when the contents of the bottle were emptied.

The miko staggered to her feet, making her way to the bar.

"Hino! Open this fucking door! I know you're in there, damn it!"

Lavender eyes didn't even blink at the pounding on her door, which had been going on for half an hour already. She moved the cigarette from her fingers to her mouth in order to open the bottle of wine in her hand.

The door slammed open and she could feel the intense glare coming from the blue eyes of Haruka Tenoh. But she ignored it. Without acknowledging the blonde's presence, Rei made her way back to where she's been sitting for the past six hours. Or was it seven? It seemed like much longer.

Haruka took in the sight of the businesswoman taking a drag of her cigarette, empty boxes of Rei's favorite smokes and bottles of alcohol littering the floor. The smell of smoke hung heavily in the air as did the smell of alcohol, reminding Haruka of a trashy bar. The woman's hair was dull and a complete mess, her tank top crumpled. Despite how utterly horrible she looked, it did nothing to hide the grace the miko possessed, seen every time she pressed the bottle to her lips.

And the blonde wondered why she's never seen it before. How she never saw what a mess her friend had become. How she was in too deep for them not to do anything. And that made the guilt in her heart intensify. She's always known Rei needed help, but she never did anything.

She wondered why she didn't notice how beautiful Rei was before. She was too busy convincing herself that Hotaru could do better to see why her daughter would love the woman.

Regardless of her drunken stupor, ignoring the mess in her appearance and the darkness of her eyes, she was gorgeous. The pale, creamy skin, the long black hair, the grace that she possessed, similar to Haruka's own lover, and the strong but battered aura she had made Rei Hino a very tempting woman.

Haruka's anger weakened slightly at the miserable sight the woman made.

"What did you do?"

Rei didn't seem to hear the question and took another drink of wine. Haruka growled.

"Hino."

Yet again, there was no response.

"Damn it, answer me!"

When still there was no acknowledgement, Haruka grabbed the miko by the shoulders, raising her to her feet then harshly slamming her into the wall.

"Answer me! What the hell did you do!"

Rei tilted her head back back, trembling. The blonde panicked, wondering if she'd made her friend cry. But she was wrong. The sound of bitter and insane laughter filled the silent apartment. Haruka released the miko and stepped back.

Rei crumbled to the ground, her body shaking furiously as she laughed.

"What I did, Haruka?" She screamed in half-desperation, half-insanity. "What I did was take her to a bar last night. What I did was dance with her until I felt my restraint break. What I did was take her to bed."

At the confirmation of her fears, Haruka's fists shook and her jaw clenched. How dare she? How dare she take Hotaru's innocence away?

The pitiful woman's body was then wracked with sobs as tears fell from the dead lavender eyes. But the laughter never stopped.

"What I did was let myself get lost in the passion and the excitement of being loved again. What I did… I _believed_, Haruka… I let myself feel safe… oh gods, I left myself _feel_."

The heartbroken sobs coming from the miko rooted Haruka to her spot after the confession. No, this couldn't be right. She did something to Hotaru, that's why her daughter was locked in her room, crying. Hino had no right to shed tears.

"Gods, Haruka, what did I do wrong? Why did she leave? I thought she'd be the one to never leave. Tell me… what did I do?"

The tall woman had no answer as she watched the broken woman curl into a ball, tears flowing from her eyes. And the desperation and the pain there reminded her of what she had seen in Hotaru's eyes that morning.

And once again, she could do nothing but watch.

* * *

. 

Haruka stood outside Hotaru's door anxiously. Seconds later, Michiru stepped out, holding an empty tray. The blonde sighed in relief.

"Did she eat it?"

"She was finally asleep, so I left it on the table."

The blonde woman nodded and followed her lover back down to the living room. The two sat down on the couch, Michiru snuggling against her girlfriend.

"What are we going to do?"

"Nothing."

The response shocked the musician, causing her to look up sharply.

"What?"

"I mean it, Michi. Rei… you should have seen her. She was miserable. I don't know what happened and quite honestly, neither does she."

Michiru buried her face in her girlfriend's shoulder.

"What went wrong?"

"I don't know. Should we ask Setsuna?"

"No, you know her answer. Only Minako can get anything out of her."

Haruka's face hardened at the name. It wasn't Minako's fault… but it kind of was, at the same time.

"You don't think they're not meant to be… do you?"

The violinist felt the strong arms around her tighten at her question.

"I don't know anything, Michi, except they love each other."

* * *

. 

Utena cursed as she continued pounding on the door. Where the fuck was she?

Two days of no calls, not picking up her phone or her cell, not responding to emails and not showing up for work. Where the hell was that idiot?

"Rei! Open up, damn it, or help me god, I'll break down this door!"

The businesswoman prepared to ram the door when it opened. She heard soft footsteps moving away and pushed the door open.

It was a complete mess. Cigarette boxes, empty bottles of vodka, wine, scotch, whiskey and cans of beer littered the floor.

The shocked brown eyes then turned to Rei, who grabbed another can of beer from the fridge. She popped the lid open and downed the can in a single gulp. When she was done, the can was thrown over her shoulder.

"What the hell happened?"

Rei turned around, the bags under her eyes accenting her dull eyes, pale skin and messy hair.

"Why does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Have you taken a look around lately?"

The miko shrugged and walked over to the coffee table, picking up a box of her smokes.

"Rei… what happened?"

Lavender eyes flashed with annoyance as they gazed at the older woman for asking the question that was just shot down seconds ago. Utena watched as the weary woman sat down on the couch.

"Don't you ever shut up, Utena?"

The woman smiled sadly and took a seat next to her pitiful looking friend. The friend she at one point loved.

"If I shut up, who would talk some sense into you?"

Rei grunted and took a drag from her cigarette. Her business partner shook her head.

"Why do this to yourself?"

Inmoveable brown clashed with burning purple when the younger woman snapped to look at her. The dark orbs flickered with a hint of the anger the woman felt, returning them to their rightful lavender color for a second.

"Do you think I like feeling like this? Do you think I did this on purpose? Do you?"

Rei looked away when she felt the tears come again. Damn it, not now. She thought she cried all her tears years ago.

"Rei…"

The woman addressed squeezed her eyes shut, her friend's sympathetic tone cutting her like Hotaru's departure had. It shouldn't, but she was too fragile now to even stand the pity that should have disgusted her.

"Oh, my poor, poor Pye."

Utena drew the shaking woman into her arms, rubbing calming circles on her back. She felt her tears dampening her shirt, but paid it no heed.

"Rei, let it all out. There's always tomorrow."

* * *

. 

Hikari, Megumi and Sara sat nervously in the living room, wondering why Haruka and Michiru had called them here.

"Well, sorry to keep you waiting."

They all looked at the blonde that came downstairs just as her counterpart entered with a tray of tea.

"It's quite all right, Tenoh-san."

"Please, Hikari, Haruka will do fine."

"Haruka-san…"

The three college students froze, the familiarity of the situation returning. Only it was with Rei and not the blonde before them.

Michiru placed the tea before her guests, taking in the collective dark expressions as she sat down next to her lover.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why we called you here."

The three nodded.

"It's about Hotaru, as I'm sure you've all figured out," Michiru said continuing.

More nods.

"Where is she?" Sara said, finally voicing the question on all three college students' minds.

Haruka sighed and ran a hand through her short hair.

"Upstairs."

Hikari placed a hand on Sara's knee, preventing the blonde from standing. If not for the grim situation, Haruka would've smiled at the act.

"May we see her?" The tall brunette asked, ever the polite one.

"I'm afraid not. She finally fell asleep again an hour ago."

Sara arched a brow at the new information. Hikari decided they needed to be calm, so that's what she'll be.

"What do you mean, 'finally fell asleep again'? Is something troubling her?"

"She hasn't really slept these past two days…"

"Why not?" Megumi asked, rather harshly.

Haruka usually didn't tolerate rude behavior, but seeing as how this stems from concern for her daughter, she'd let it slide.

"She's been," Michiru started, unsure of what to say, "crying."

Megumi stood, ready to run up to her friend's room, but Hikari reached over and tugged on her arm, forcing her to sit. The taller girl didn't look much calmer, though.

"Why?" Megumi demanded, angry.

Both Haruka and Michiru hesitated. How much should they tell?

"Rei."

Everyone looked at Hikari, who had a wistful look in her eyes. Sara nodded.

"That's what I thought. The happiness from the fair couldn't last for long, no matter how much we wish it could."

"Hino? I'm going to kill her."

"Megumi," Hikari called firmly, "sit."

The brunette opened her mouth to argue, but in the end obeyed her friend. Hikari was usually right.

"Are we correct, Michiru-san?" Sara asked, regarding the aqua-haired woman.

The senshi of the sea wondered why the blonde asked her. Haruka was a far worse liar. Michiru was a master of the craft, though she rarely used it.

Sara was very much like her, actually, personality aside. A balance between Megumi and Haruka's impulsiveness and Setsuna and Hikari's rational thought process. So, the girl felt she could read her better. Very well.

"Yes, you are."

Megumi stood again, this time to pace the living room while mumbling darkly under her breath.

"How do you know about Rei?" Haruka asked.

Hikari calmly explained how they had first met the miko at the college and then the fair. Both of the guardians looked surprised when they heard the source of the necklace they saw on their daughter's neck.

A few seconds after the explanation, the ranting Megumi calmed enough to sit back down, though still grumbling occasionally. Silence drifted over the five women like a thick veil.

"What happened?" Sara finally asked. Seeing the two women hesitate, she continued. "We need to know so we can help."

Haruka looked unconvinced but explained nonetheless.

"Hotaru came home two days ago, looking like a mess. She went up to her room and never came out. She didn't tell us anything at all."

Hikari nodded. There was no need to guess what had happened. Unresolved sexual tension covered Rei and Hotaru like the plague. From the look in her blonde friend's eyes, she thought the same.

"Haruka went to Rei's apartment for answer to find her…"

"A complete mess," Haruka finished with a sigh.

The three younger women soaked this in. Megumi was the first to speak, strangely calm.

"They slept together."

Everyone was shocked at how indifferent and flat she sounded. They figured she'd be bouncing off the walls.

"I figured as much," she said dryly. "The two are in love, no doubt about it. Despite how innocent Hotaru appears, she's not a virgin, even before Hino."

Haruka visibly struggled with the news while Hikari and Sara groaned inwardly.

'**Smooth, Megumi,'** they both thought. **'Drop another bomb on them.'**

"She… she what?"

Megumi snapped her mouth shut. Crap, did she just let that slip? Oh… man…

Michiru saw her lover rise and decided to calm the blonde before she blew up. Besides, judging by the nervous look on Sara's face, she had something to do with it.

"Haruka, we'll handle this later."

The racer calmed and sat back down, but glared at the coffee table, pretending it was whoever stole her little girl's innocence.

"Why did you call us here, exactly? What do you wish for us to do?"

"Whatever you can, Hikari," Michiru said, shaking her head. "Whatever you can."

Te three determined college students nodded. All right, time for operation "Cheer up Hotaru."

"Would you like to stay for dinner?"

Sara nodded quickly at the sea nymph's question. This was one woman that could cook! Hikari and Megumi agreed as well. Michiru stood, moving to the kitchen. Hikari and Sara went with her to help, leaving Megumi alone with a brooding Haruka. Finally, the motorcyclist turned to the brunette with a smile the younger girl did not like.

"So," Haruka purred as she leaned forward, "tell me about Hotaru's first."


	21. Sometimes It Hurts

Fallen From Grace

Rei brought the wine glass to her lips, eyes scanning the crowd. They found Utena easily enough, she was the one surrounded by four women. Her business partner was gorgeous tonight, dressed all in black from her halter-top to her boots. She remembered why she took the older woman to bed all too well.

"Hey, beautiful. Can I buy you another drink?"

Rei turned to the blonde woman smiling at her. Only three days ago she would've accepted the offer and gladly taken it to the next level. But that was three days ago. Scary how much can change in three days. How much a single _night_ can change a person.

"Still drinking I see."

The blonde's eyes moved to Utena as the brunette approached the miko. The older woman's arm draped casually over Rei's shoulders, a clear warning to back off.

Utena smirked as the woman slipped back into the crowd, searching for a new victim. It disappeared when she saw the expressionless face of her friend.

"So," the merger goddess, as some called her, said, "was that the fourth offer?"

"Sixth," Rei said flatly, staring at the red liquid in her glass.

The reply effectively shut down any chance Utena had of having an actually discussion with Rei. The older woman slumped forward uncharacteristically as she flagged down the bartender, ordering a beer.

Lavender eyes watched her partner's downcast expression with a pang of guilt. Utena was doing everything possible to cheer her up, or at least get her out of this damn funk. But it wasn't working. All she could see was Hotaru's flushed face as they molded together, all she could hear was the college student's groans, all she could taste was Hotaru as their tongues danced, the only smell was her scent of vanilla and cherries, and she could only feel the soft skin against hers.

Sweet misery. If this were Hell, she would gladly sin if it meant she could remember it all.

But she already sinned.

"This obviously isn't working."

"Obviously," Rei heard herself agree.

"So, what will work?"

The miko tilted her head back as she downed the last of her wine. She turned to regard her friend with a mix of desperate hope and aloft acceptance.

"Let's go to your place."

-------------------------------

Rei slipped off her jacket as Utena turned on the lights. The older woman tossed her sweater onto the back of couch before collapsing on it. The miko smiled faintly as she walked over to the window and looked out at the twinkling lights of the city.

"Something to drink?"

Utena asked before standing. When her guest shook her head, she walked off to fetch herself a glass of wine. Rei's senses followed the woman's exit. Utena always managed to move so silently.

The woman returned a few minutes later with a glass and seated herself on the couch. Her brown eyes watched the elegant figure by the window with interest. So, how will she play this? The possibilities. When there were no words exchanged nor any movement made, Utena rose gracefully to her feet, heading for the TV.

"What do you want to watch?"

No answer. Lips pulled into an annoyed frown, the woman turned.

Only to find a pair of soft lips against hers in a bruising kiss. Utena quickly wrapped her arms around Rei's neck and pushed one foot back to balance herself.

The miko's lips used to be rough and passionate, the fire in her burning its way through her victim's soul. Now, they were desperate and pleading for something. Anything.

Rei hated what she was doing. She was using Utena for a quick release, a handy pleasure source. But she needed this. Needed this like flowers needed the sun. This hurt inside of her… she couldn't handle it. The throb of loneliness she could deal with, but the heartbreak… it was swallowing her, filling every crevice in her body. Every cell. It was like quick sand; every breath pulled her in deeper into the pain.

Utena was breathless when Rei pulled away. Now she remembered how she fell for the woman the first time. Those goddamn lips…

Rei leaned down for another kiss, not wanting to give her body time to calm down or her brain time to think. Their lips met, fighting for control. Shy on the outside, a bobcat in the sack, that's Utena. Just like Hotaru…

The miko broke the kiss suddenly and pulled Utena's top off, throwing it somewhere across the room. Her hands roamed the familiar back as her teeth attacked the woman's neck almost viciously. Utena groaned softly as her arms clamped around the miko's neck. Rei growled and lifted her partner quickly off the floor. As long legs wrapped around her waist, only one thing ran through her mind: Don't think about Hotaru.

The older woman's fingers danced across her skin at the nape of her neck. The miko made easy work of carrying Utena to the bedroom. But before she could place her on the bed, brown eyes snapped open.

Rei was surprised when her friend's legs released her waist. She found herself pinned against the wall by Utena with strength she didn't know the brown-eyed woman had, her lips attacked by the surprising woman. Bobcat.

Utena quickly unbuttoned Rei's blouse, her tongue an attack on everything sacred as it fought with the taller woman's. That's it Takahashi…

It wasn't long before Rei had enough of the submissive role and Utena found herself pinned to the wall instead. That was what she expected from her, to be dominant.

Rei pulled her own blouse off. Her hands danced across her friend's body, feeling the warmth of the smooth skin under her fingers. Just forget. Just let go.

Utena found herself suddenly pulled from the wall and thrown onto her bed. Before she could collect herself, she felt Rei's firm body against hers as the miko's lips attacked her with an urgent desperation. The older woman brought her hands up, roaming her partner's back.

Rei pulled away from Utena's lips to trail wet kisses down her neck. She felt long fingers in her hair and growled. This was what she knew…

An image of Hotaru's flushed face flashed in her mind's eyes. She recoiled from her business partner's skin as if burned before throwing herself off. Lying on her back, Rei panted while she tried to calm her speeding heart. She felt the bed shift as Utena forced herself up on her elbows and looked at her.

"I'm sorry," the miko forced out, voice wavering. "I can't… I just… can't."

When Utena sighed, Rei was sure she was upset for the sudden halt and hesitation, especially since _she_ had been the one to start it. The bed shifted again as the brown-eyed woman laid back down.

"I was wondering when you'd realize that."

It was the miko's turn to look at her friend, lavender eyes narrowed in confusion.

"What?"

With yet anther sigh, the older woman sat up and turned her head to look at the puzzled girl.

"I knew you wouldn't go through with it the second you suggested we come back to my place."

The sheets rustled and black silk moved across the whiteness of the bed as the younger woman forced herself to sit up, ignoring the protest of her tired body.

"How?"

Utena sighed softly as she closed her brown eyes.

"You can't."

"Are you doubting my stamina?"

The shocked and offended tone caused the older woman to giggle. Oh, Rei, that pride of hers, ever present.

"No, I'm not. Dear lord, how can you even think that?"

Rei ignored the blush on her cheeks as she gave her full attention to the laughing woman.

"Then what do you mean?"

The miko was suddenly pulled back onto the bed as her friend rolled on top of her, brown eyes twinkling with amusement.

"You're too hung up over Hotaru."

"What?"

Utena rolled off and took in the wide lavender eyes with pity.

"Oh, Rei… she left you."

The miko frowned at the reminder. She knew _perfectly_ well that Hotaru left. But the question was why? And why would Utena remind her?

"That wasn't like all the other nights of sex. No one's ever left you before, especially not someone you care about."

"Min-"

"Minako broke up with you, face to face. Hotaru upped and just left. You used sex to keep your mind off of the blonde. But sex reminds you of Hotaru. Humans, my dear, avoid pain. So, you avoid sex.

Rei's brow knitted at the revelation. If it was true, that means-

"I can't have sex until I figure this out?"

Utena smirked at the shocked expression on Rei's face. Well, Hotaru got her to stop sleeping around. Maybe not the way she wanted, but still.

"Damn it."

"Rei, don't you want to know why Hotaru left?"

"Of course, I do!"

"Go talk to her."

"I can't."

"Can't or won't?"

Silence. Utena shook her head and kissed the forehead of the woman she once loved.

"You need to go see her."

"Utena-"

"For both your sakes."

Rei couldn't argue with that.

-------------------------------

Hotaru opened her eyes slowly, unaccustomed to the light of the setting sun. Who the hell-

"It was as dark as a crypt in here."

Violet eyes snapped to the right towards the source of the familiar voice. Sure enough, Megumi sat in the chair by her desk, a small smile on her lips.

"M-Megumi?"

The college student winced at the sound of her own voice, hoarse, since the last time she had spoken was to tell Michiru-mama to… fuck off.

"Hey, we're here too."

Hotaru looked to her right, where Sara sat on the couch with Hikari's head in her lap. The youngest senshi watched in amazement as the blonde stroked the brunette hair of their friend, whose brown eyes were closed.

"She fell asleep a few minutes ago," Megumi explained quietly.

Pink lips parted to ask a question that wasn't quite worded yet in Hotaru's still groggy mind. Sara smiled as she gazed at her friend warmly.

"We've been waiting here since about two in the afternoon."

The alarm clock on the nightstand read 7:50 PM.

"Oh."

Megumi winced at what her usually eloquent friend had been reduced to. When she'd get her hands on Hino…

"Are you hungry?"

The girl in bed started to shake her head but her traitorous stomach growled. Loudly.

This seemed to be enough to wake Hikari as her brown eyes opened sleepily. Neither Hotaru nor Megumi missed Sara's affectionate smile as the brunette sat up, rubbing her eyes. The tall girl's hair was sticking up a little, making their blonde classmate smile fondly as she reached over to fix it.

"What's goi- oh, hey Hotaru."

Violet eyes softened as she nodded at her friend, unable to resist neither the sleepy smile on the pretty face nor how absolutely adorable her friend looked as she rubbed her eyes. What was surprising, though, was Hikari sleeping and Sara being used as a pillow. It was usually the other way around. But it doesn't really matter, as long as they're happy and keep acting so cute together. Though, they'd never admit they liked each other.

Rei popped up in her head and a frown marred her delicate features. Damn it, not now.

Her friends all seemed to notice her suddenly mood shift and rushed over to her bed. Megumi enveloped her in a hug as the first tears came.

Sara stroked her hair while Hikari rubbed her back. Hotaru was suddenly very grateful to have them as friends. They cared. They were here.

After a few minutes, the girl pulled away from her friend's embrace reluctantly, quickly wiping her cheeks and eyes. All three girls were gazing at her in concern and she tried to smile, failing miserably.

Sara pulled the small girl into her arms and Hotaru stayed there, basking in the feel of the blonde's arms around her. She was lean and feminine but still strong, just like Rei. And only a little bit shorter than the miko too. But she smelled like chocolate and not jasmine…

The tears came again as the miserable girl buried her face in her friend's chest. She felt Sara placed a kiss on the top of her head, just as Rei had before they fell asleep…

Hotaru quickly pulled away and sought shelter in Hikari's arms. Guilt seized her when she saw the hurt look on the blonde's face.

"I-I'm sorry, Sara. B-But you're… you're too much like R… Rei."

Megumi's face darkened at the mention of the woman's name. Fortunately, the distressed girl was too busy to notice and Sara shot her brunette friend an angry glare.

"It's all right," Sara said, smiling softly while she stroked her friend's hair. "I understand."

The crying girl nodded, burying herself in Hikari's embrace. The only sounds in the room were the sobs coming from the youngest senshi for several minutes. When she finally calmed, Sara slipped out of the room, only to return moments later with a tray.

"Michiru-san told you to drink this."

Puffy violet eyes, red from crying, looked at the steaming soup. Slowly, shaking hands reached out to take the spoon, only to have another hand snatch it away.

Confused, Hotaru looked up to find Megumi with the spoon in her hand and blowing on the soup to cool it. Once she was satisfied, she held the spoon to her blushing friend's lips.

"Come on, Hotaru. Drink this. Don't make me use the airplane on you."

Hikari and Sara giggled while Hotaru's blush deepened as she allowed the short brunette to feed her. In the presence of her friends, knowing they cared, with Hikari's arms around her and hot soup in her stomach, Hotaru calmed.

After the soup (and lots of cooing from Megumi), the youngest senshi was a lot more comfortable. She hadn't even thought of Rei once.

The sudden reminder of the miko caused her to stiffen and the tears returned. Hikari's hold on her tightened.

"What's wrong, Hotaru?" Sara whispered softly,

"I-I just thought about Rei…"

Hikari pulled her friend to her, effectively blocking the enraged Megumi from view. When the short brunette spoke, she sounded amazingly calm.

"What did Hino do?"

Hotaru clung to her friend's shirt as Sara rubbed her back.

"Talking about it might help," the blonde suggested.

Despite the pain it caused, the violet-eyed girl nodded. Her friends moved closer and braced themselves.

"Rei… she whispered Minako's name after… the morning after…"

The short girl broke off as a sob found its way from her throat. She felt Sara come from behind and hug her as well, trapping her between Hikari's reassuring silence and the blonde's soothing warmth. She also heard Megumi's mumbled curses before her grounding presence and strong arms surrounded her.

Hotaru felt the tears roll down her cheek and the pain in her chest intensify, but didn't care as her friends' presences and Hikari's soothing whispers lulled her to sleep.

-------------------------------

Rei looked out the window of her office, the twinkling city lights enough to knock her sleepy mind back into focus. With a weary sigh, she rubbed her eyes before turning back to her desk.

Four days away has caused the paperwork to multiply like rabbits, covering her desk and the surrounding area. As hard as Utena and Kenji tried to cover for her, they couldn't do that much more work considering their own loads.

So, she had no choice but to come in and pull her weight. They were partners, after all.

Besides, work was her escape now that sex was off the list. She had to keep herself busy. Had to keep herself from thinking.

Seeing most of the office dark, the miko walked sluggishly to the cabinet on her right. She opened the door and pulled out a bottle of Scotch. The minifridge below provided the ice she needed.

Sitting behind her desk again, the businesswoman poured herself a glass and lit a cigarette. At the rate she was going, she'd be dead in week from alcohol poisoning. She wouldn't mind that much. The only thing she would regret is not being able to help make Crystal Tokyo a reality.

Rei shook her head to clear her mind. Nope, no one was dying. She was stuck here, in this Hell on Earth. She couldn't be selfish and leave her friends and princess.

'**Get over yourself, Hino,'** she thought with a soft growl. **'No one _needs_ you. They're better off without your fucked up ass.'**

The miko shrugged as she poured herself another glass. Nothing she didn't already know. So wait, why _hasn't_ she tried to kill herself?

'**Face it. You're a coward. Too scared to end this shit. You're scared-'**

"Shitless."

The miko's voice echoed in the silent office.

Yeah, she was scared. Scared of what was on the other side.

'**You're a miko, you moron. There is no fucking Heaven. No Hell.'**

Rei had to laugh at her own slip. That's right, there was no Heaven or Hell. She wasn't Christian or Catholic.

'**Those years at the Catholic school rubbed off, after all.'**

She snarled at the thought. The good Sisters must be proud they pounded something into her poor, misguided pagan head.

'**Misguided is right.'**

"Misguided, fucked up, screwed, hopeless, beyond help…"

And the list went on and on. For quite a long time, too. She didn't have the next week to waste, though.

Her lavender eyes trailed down to the paperwork before she took another sip. She was going to be here all night.

'**Perhaps music will sooth the lost soul…'**

Rei groped for the remote to her stereo, the buzz from the Scotch making it a bit harder than usual. Surprising what two weeks can do to your tolerance. Just another souvenir from two weeks with-

'**Don't go that way, Hino. You're trying to avoid pain, remember?'**

The miko finally found the remote and turned on the stereo. She started to relax, thinking it would play the station she had kept it on the last time she was in the office. But it had been over a week since then, and her partners have been in her office several times.

--Sometimes it hurts

So much to lose the one you love. --

Rei cursed and drank straight from the bottle. This fucking song was the god-forsaking soundtrack of her life. She heard it when she tried to get over Usagi, then almost every month after the breakup with Minako and now after Hotaru.

Damn it, someone loved to mock her. This song over and over again.

--I tried so hard to hate you,

But it only makes it all worse.

I only end up hating myself. –

Did she ever. After Minako broke up with her, she tried to hate the blonde. Hate her with all her soul. Hate her to make the pain go away.

But it was different with Hotaru. She couldn't even make herself hate the violet-eyed girl, even if the young woman _had_ given her hope and abandoned her. She had a good reason to leave, she just knew it. But then again, why would she have stayed? All she was good for now was sex and more sex, she couldn't promise anything… couldn't give anything.

And she hated herself for that. Hated the fact that she had let herself become so empty. So disgusting. There was no reason to blame Minako. Relationships come and go, but what determined a person's worth wasn't whether the relationship lasted, but how one deals should it end. And boy, did she fail _that_ test.

Rei has always been bad with losing. Losing in any shape or form, whether it be games, competitions, contests or even love.

Winning was how she made herself feel like she was worth something, as pitiful as that was. She's never had a reason to feel good about herself and her father leaving had a lot to do with that.

But she couldn't blame it all on him. After all, has she not become exactly like the man who abandoned her when she needed him the most? She's always been a coward, just like him. She's always walked away.

--I only think about myself,

And it's driving you away. –

'**It's already driven you away.'**

Her selfishness drove Hotaru away. And now will she be a fool like her father and be a coward? Will she let the woman go so easily?

'**You were going to at the club.'**

But that was before their night together. Before Rei realized that she needed the woman more than she needed air. Before she realized that Hotaru filled that hole in her soul, melted her heart and chased away the demons. Being with Hotaru was like being with Minako. Only better.

Better. Something the miko thought would never happen. Because she thought Minako _was_ her happiness. She was. But Hotaru was her _Heaven_.

Because Hotaru needed her too. The college student needed her to be the roaring fire that only she could calm. She needed Rei to be the yin to her yang, the storm to her tranquility. But most importantly, she needed Rei to need her because she has never _been_ needed.

And the miko finally realized it after losing her. She needed Hotaru. She wanted Hotaru.

And for the first time in her life, she'll be damned if she'll be like her father and walk away.

-------------------------------

Haruka didn't bother checking the peephole to see who it was. It could only be Megumi, Hikari or Sara, who dropped by everyday. She was not prepared to see Rei Hino standing on the other side of the door. Nor did she want to see her.

The miko was rocking back and forth on the balls of her feet. Her back was to the tall blonde, raven hair brushing against her black three-piece suit.

Haruka stood frozen for a few seconds, trying to decide whether or not she should slam the door close right that instant. What the hell was she doing here?

"Rei."

The racer didn't have to decide when her lover called out the miko's name. The woman in question turned, her smile too tired and weary for Haruka to jump her. The bags under her eyes and the dull lavender orbs themselves didn't help either. All in all, she looked as bad as Hotaru.

"Haruka. Michiru."

The senshi of wind felt her lover grasp her arm tightly to prevent her from doing something. She didn't have to look to know Michiru's smile was forced and that her aqua eyes were narrowed.

Rei sighed and ran a hand through her hair, eyes staring at the floor. Unconsciously, she reached into her pocket for a smoke and had it almost at her lips before realizing that it would be best _NOT_ to smoke before the couple. The miko returned it to her pocket quickly and smiled sheepishly, though it came across as more of a wince.

Haruka straightened, torn inside. Hotaru was her daughter and she'd do anything to protect her since she had failed already. But Rei was her friend. They weren't best friends, but they were kindred spirits at least. Wild and passionate, but as free as trapped animals in the cages created for them by society and destiny.

They both knew love would tame their ferocity, sooth their anxiety and give them true freedom in their forced imprisonment. Difference was, Haruka found it while Rei was still searching.

The blonde senshi knew how it feels to discover that freedom but be too foolish, or too frightened, to take it. Their salvation can only chase _them_ for so long before they, the wild and untamed beasts, had to chase their peace of mind. It seemed like the time had come for Rei to chase. And she had accepted.

But that did nothing to solve the tall woman's problem. Will she let this _panther_ hunt down her daughter? Will she give her a chance to potentially hurt her Firefly again?

"Haruka… Michiru…"

Seems like the miko was trying to solve the problem for her. Out of respect for her friend and out of understanding of her situation, she listened. Out of love for her daughter, she did not step aside to let Rei enter.

"I don't deserve another chance with Ru- I mean, Hotaru."

'**Not the best way to start the argument,'** Haruka thought with a hint of pity.

"I didn't, still don't… nor will I ever deserve her love. I-I don't even know _why_ she loves a fool like me."

Michiru felt her lover stiffen. She knew the blonde was affected by these words. After all, Haruka had told her the same thing years ago.

"But she _does_ love me, and I consider myself blessed. And so, _so_ very lucky."

Rei paused, still not looking her friends in the eyes.

"I messed up. God, I don't even know _how_ I messed up, but I did. After all, how can an angel like her just leave without reason?"

Haruka sighed inwardly. The choice had been made the day she walked into Rei's apartment to beat the miko into oblivion. It was stupid to even think she had a choice to _make_.

"I know I don't deserve a chance to see her again. But, I need to talk to her."

The miko bit her lip and raised her eyes, pleading with the two silently since she could never beg out loud.

"I _have_ to know."

Michiru and Haruka stared at each other before the former turned. The blonde eyed the raven-haired woman evenly.

"Michi will tell Hotaru you're in the garden."

-------------------------------

Rei walked back and forth on the path between the red roses and the morning glories. She paused and stared at the flowers before growling and going back to her pacing.

Damn it, everything's a mess. Perhaps it would have been better if Hotaru had never stayed to take care of her in the first place.

'**No, Hino. Stop thinking like that. You're not going to be able to do anything if you believe that.'**

The miko cursed as she sat down, burying her face in her hands. She wanted another chance with Hotaru, but what if the college student denies her the chance?

'**Fuck a _chance_. The problem is whether or not she'd even _speak_ to you.'**

The woman cursed again and stood. She looked down at the purple morning glories. Hotaru…

The leaves behind her rustled and Rei spun around. Dread and anticipation filled her. Well, here goes nothing… and everything.

Her heart lurched at the sight of Hotaru. Her eyes were red and bloodshot, bags under the unusually dark orbs. She looked tired and utterly spent as she leaned against the tree for support. Worse of all, she refused to look at Rei.

The businesswoman felt her mouth go dry and stuffed her hands into her pockets.

"Hotaru."

The girl cringed and the miko winced at the raspy sound of her voice. The youngest senshi took a tiny step back.

This was not a good start.

"How've you been?"

Hotaru wanted to break down and cry when she heard the question. How's she been? Horrible? Wasn't it obvious from her disastrous appearance?

Rei looked at the ground. Of all the time to lose her nerves. She really was _just_ a coward.

"Okay," the college student responded softly, her voice hoarse. "You?"

The miko instinctively opened her mouth to say she was great but couldn't. If she were to have a chance with Hotaru, she had to be honest. Even if she hated the truth.

"I've been better."

Hotaru nodded, biting her lip as the voice of the woman she loved threatened to break her. No, she was already broken.

Silence settled over the two as Rei continued to stare at the ground. She's never felt this far from Hotaru before and the physical distance didn't help either. But she doubted approaching the girl was a smart idea.

"I…"

The college student looked up when the taller woman spoke, a grave mistake. She took in the sight of the woman, despite herself, greedily. Rei had become a drug for her. For three weeks the miko was all she saw and all she's come to love. These past few days, even without the emotional suffering, has been hell for her just because she couldn't see the woman.

Rei was just as beautiful as she remembered. The long, raven hair was pulled back in a braid, the first time Hotaru's seen it like that. It turned her attention fully on the miko's face, those full red lips parted ever so slightly. She was paler than she remembered, though, the healthy glow of her skin gone. The blouse looked a bit big on her slender form as well. Her lavender eyes were half-closed with obvious fatigue while the orbs themselves were dull with regret and hurt.

'**Don't, Tomoe. Don't.'**

Rei felt her heart drop when Hotaru looked away. No, please, no.

'**Please, tell me you haven't given up on me. Please, still believe in me… still love me.'**

Hotaru squeezed her eyes shut, feeling the tears start. She couldn't do this. She couldn't be in her presence and not want to touch her, kiss her and love her. But she didn't love her back. She still loved Minako. She shouldn't feel this way for the miko. The woman she had given all of herself to whispered Minako's name after they…

Rei felt her heart break when Hotaru turned her back to her. The last bit of hope died in her and her eyes closed, tears threatening to escape.

So, it was really over. It was over before it could really begin. Pity. They could've been great together.

Hotaru tightened her hold on the sweatshirt she wore, her hand over her heart. She could feel both her pain and Rei's. It's like nothing she ever felt before. It was like someone stabbing her everywhere while her heart threatened to explode. It hurt so much it almost made her numb.

But being almost numb was as good as almost being loved. It just made it worse.

The miko's eyes opened just in time to see Hotaru walk away. A tear slid down her cheek when the girl was gone from her sight.

"Goodbye, Ru."

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The song used is "Sometimes It Hurts" by Stabbing Westward. A wonderful song. Check it out.

Anyone get the bobcat reference?

Thanks for reading. There's more coming soon.


	22. Ticket to Heaven

Fallen From Grace

Rei stared at the smooth, wooden surface of her desk, attention obviously elsewhere.

It was over. _They_ were over.

Did it ever really start? There can't be an end if there was no beginning. Just like there can't be an end with Hotaru if she didn't know when they started to exist. So, she'll carry these feelings for the girl for the rest of her life.

Just another one to add to the list.

God, it hurt. Hurt like a bitch. Love only brought pain, but she knew that already. She was just too stupid to remember and heed the warning. Stupid enough to fall again.

"Hino-san?"

The businesswoman shook herself from her reverie and looked up to find a young woman standing at her door. She forced the pain to disappear from her eyes, using her mask, perfected through the years, to hide her turmoil.

"Yes, Chiharu?"

"There's a young lady here to see you-"

"Let me in! Let me talk to Hino! I'm going to kill her!"

Rei frowned and stood, the voice strangely familiar. She walked to her door, Chiharu looking quite shocked as she stared in the direction of the elevator. Lavender eyes followed her gaze to find…

Megumi, surrounded by five security guards, fuming while Kenji tried to calm her in vain. The entire office was staring at the raging girl with interest.

Rei felt a sigh escape her lips, causing her secretary to look at her in concern.

"Chiharu, please show her into my office."

"H-Hino-san?"

"Please," the tired woman said before re-entering her office.

A short while later, the door opened and in stepped Megumi, whose eyes narrowed upon seeing the businesswoman making tea.

"You may go, Chiharu. Hold all my calls."

"Yes, ma'am."

Rei heard the door close and turned to the college student, her face the epitome of confidence and stoicism.

"Would you like some tea?"

Megumi's eyes narrowed some more when she heard the cool and polite tone. Did it really not matter to Hino that she broke Hotaru's heart? The anger within her grew.

"No, thank you."

The businesswoman was surprised at how professional, though forced, the young woman sounded. She even managed to hide most of her anger. Most.

"Very well. Please, sit."

The college student complied, as reluctant as she was. Rei walked over to the couch, facing her guest as she sat down and crossed her legs.

Silence descended over the pair, the older woman having no problem with it, though. Ten years has given her ample time to rid herself of her hatred of awkward silences. Being in the business world has helped, also.

"How could you?" Megumi whispered heatedly.

Pleased that the brunette broke the silence first, Rei arched a fine brow in question.

'**That's it, Hino, pretend your heart isn't breaking. Pretend you don't feel this hurt.'**

"What do you mean?" she asked instead.

Megumi stood, blue eyes coming to life as the flame of anger danced within her.

"What do I mean? What do I _mean_! Why you heartless bitc-"

"I suggest you watch your language. If we can not conduct this in a civilized manner, we won't at all."

The miko only seemed to inflame the younger girl more. Her fists clenched at her sides as her eyes narrowed.

"In a civilized manner? After what you did to Hotaru?"

The hurt inside Rei stirred to life at those words. What she did to Hotaru? Was she the one that left? No, it wasn't.

"And what exactly did I do to her?"

Before the businesswoman could blink, Megumi had made her way over to her and pulled the miko to her feet by her collar. Lavender eyes danced at the threat.

"You little bitch. What did you do? What did you do? You cried out your ex-girlfriend's name after having sex with Hotaru!"

Megumi watched as Rei's eyes widened with disbelief and the anger in the lavender orbs disappeared. The businesswoman's expression turned from one of controlled annoyance to complete shock as her body stiffened. The brunette's mouth went dry as she released the woman's shirt.

"Oh my god, you didn't know."

Rei collapsed into the chair she occupied seconds ago. No, she couldn't have… she wouldn't have…

The college student shook her head. She pitied Hino. She had what she wanted, better than she deserved, and she screwed it up. She hadn't even known _how,_ until now.

God, she fucked up. Beyond her wildest imagination. It all made so much sense now. Why Haruka was so mad, why Hotaru had left. She'd hate her too if she were the college student.

But Rei didn't even know _why_ she whispered Minako's name. It had been the only night she didn't dream about the blonde. She didn't dream at _all_, to be honest.

All that she remembered was pulling Hotaru close to her after their… activities. They were both exhausted, panting as sweat cloaked their bodies. Hotaru's arms were wrapped around her waist while hers were instinctively snaked around her slim shoulders.

She had nuzzled the younger girl's neck, kissing the marks she made before. Hot breath caressed her skin as her lover sighed contently, causing a goofy grin to touch her lips.

Next thing she knew, Hotaru's breathing evened, informing her that the girl had fallen asleep. She couldn't help but smile. She was hers. She didn't know how long she stared at the beautiful and peaceful face before falling asleep herself.

How could she have screwed up between then and waking up? It was impossible. Well, not for her, it seemed.

Hotaru. _Her_ Hotaru was hurting far more than she was. Was she even hers anymore? No, no she wasn't. But she had to get her back.

Megumi watched the older woman as she sat perfectly still, as if debating within herself. She hated the pity she felt for the miko, since she was loyal to Hotaru, but she did feel it and didn't ever want to be in her position.

The lavender eyes slowly refocused, the fire burning within then flaring to life. They turned to the college student, forcing the brunette to take a step back from their intensity.

"How is she?"

The cool tone shocked Megumi, causing her anger to rise again. What the hell was up with Hino? Was she made of stone? The angry student opened her mouth to retort when she saw the flicker of concern in the intense purple eyes.

'**Damn it, Hino, if you don't start showing your feelings, you'll never get her back.'**

Megumi didn't know when she started rooting for Hino. She used to hate her, and still do, but she couldn't help but feel that the two belonged together. Like they were meant to be or something. And as much as she disliked the businesswoman, she made Hotaru happy. Truly happy, in a way that not even Sara did.

"She's in pretty bad shape."

Rei closed her eyes and nodded. She remembered how Hotaru looked yesterday. God, she fucked up.

"She threw away the necklace, you know," Megumi whispered softly.

Rei stiffened and she stopped breathing for a moment. She threw away the necklace. That was the symbol of what they had. Did she really want to end it all? Did she even have the right to try to get back what they had? Did Hotaru want it back?

"She needs you, Hino, as much as I hate to admit it."

Megumi started for the door, her hair standing on end when she felt the other woman's eyes on her but kept walking. She tried to keep her tone neutral.

"Sara, Hikari and I all know it. You don't deserve her, but for some reason, you make her happy. You make her smile, make her laugh, make her nervous and make her feel everything a person feels when they're in love. No one but you do that to her. She deserves to feel love, to know what it's like to love."

The brunette paused at the door.

"We'll do what we can. But you better come up with something, Hino. And fast."

----------------------------------

Rei put out her cigarette before rubbing her tired eyes. The clock at the bottom of her computer screen read 3:45 AM.

'**All right, Hino. Time to catch four hours of sleep. You don't want to be a zombie tomorrow, now do you?'**

The woman shut off her computer and rose to her feet, her neck sore and her back stiff beyond description. She groaned softly before stretching, bones cracking loudly and muscles protesting the movements.

She was getting old, no doubt about it. Even her senshi healing couldn't reverse all the damage she's done to her body in the past couple of years. Let her current state be a lesson to the youth: drugs, alcohol and smoking combined with irregular amounts of sleep, overworking and clubbing wreaks havoc on your health, even _if_ your body is supposed to have one of the best counter measurements, like magical healing.

Chuckling to herself, the miko made her way over to the large couch in the middle of the room. She grabbed a blanket from under the cushion of the armchair before sitting down.

As she took off her boots, her tired mind told her she really did owe Utena one for buying such a comfortable couch for her. The one she had before was gorgeous, but about as comfortable as a rock.

The miko lay down, covering herself with the blanket and sighing softly. Without meaning to, her mind drifted back to when Megumi stormed into her office and told her what she had done.

She didn't have a clue why she whispered Minako's name then and she still didn't now.

But she knew how Hotaru felt: betrayed and stupid. Betrayed by a woman she cared for deeply, to whom their relationship seemingly meant nothing.

Stupid for believing in love, for loving so much. Stupid for taking a chance and leaping when you knew there was no solid ground to land on.

She knew how it felt better than she wanted to. Minako… God, why was she always the source of her troubles? She knew she was putting blame on the blonde she didn't deserve, but damn it, she _was_ the Goddess of Love. Why hadn't she known her own heart better? Well, at least she found Hotaru-

Rei sat up suddenly, eyes wide. That's it. It had to be.

Without another thought, the woman put on her boots, grabbed her purse and ran out of the dark office.

----------------------------------

The second the door opened and lavender eyes caught sight of blonde hair, Rei walked in without an invitation. She walked straight into the living room, ignoring the surprised look on Minako's face.

"Minako, thank god you're home. I fucked up this time, God did I ever. But then again, you probably knew that because you're the only one that can get anything out of Setsuna, so I'll skip the details. But damn it, I'm so stupid. No, stupid doesn't sum it up. I'm a moron, a complete retard, the biggest idiot in the world and I really need your help-"

The rambling woman came to a screeching halt when she saw Setsuna standing by the entrance of the living room. It wasn't seeing her that shocked Rei, she knew the two had been living together for a few years now.

No, it was the fact that the senshi of Time looked anything _but_ sleepy, her eyes smoky with anger and something Rei was very familiar with and her usually perfect hair was a mess.

Oh, that the fact that she only had a sheet wrapped around her.

Slowly, Rei turned to inspect her ex-girlfriend, who was pretty much in the same condition, except she was trying to tie her robe. Her nose detected a familiar scent.

The miko looked away and blinked a few times before looking up at the ceiling. She covered her face with both hands before groaning and shaking her head in frustration. _Nothing_ was going her way.

She then removed her hands and let out a groan/growl that conveyed her annoyance. Her gaze wandered over the tall, silent beauty to her right, who stared at her with those intense, red eyes of hers. Rei smiled apologetically and waved, to which the other woman responded with a nod.

The nervous smile disappeared and the businesswoman's expression twisted to betray her embarrassment and guilt.

"God, I am _so_ sorry, you two. I figured you'd be asleep since it's… 4:30 in the morning, so I'd be waking you two up instead of interrupting- um… yeah."

The miko started making gestures at the door while she looked back and forth between the two women.

"I'll just be going now. Very, very sorry. Just forget I ever came and return to-"

She was practically at the door when the oldest senshi's calm voice spoke.

"Rei, sit."

The bad-tempered woman turned to find the other woman's red eyes glittering faintly with annoyance and curiosity. Setsuna then turned and disappeared while her lover shrugged and shut the door, effectively trapping her ex.

As her blonde host took a seat, the miko relented and sat down on the large couch. There was silence for a few minutes before Minako, understandably annoyed, spoke.

"So, why are you here this early in the morning?"

"Don't you know?" Rei retorted bitterly before she could stop herself.

"No, she doesn't," came the Guardian of Time's slightly annoyed voice as she re-entered with a tray of tea. "Neither do I, actually."

The dark-haired businesswoman bit her tongue to prevent a sarcastic response from escaping. She was here to ask the two for help, not a time to mock Setsuna.

"Oh?"

"Yes, I've been trying to keep myself from seeing everything lately."

Rei arched a brow as she sipped the tea she was handed.

"So, the omniscient Pluto _isn't_ omniscient anymore. The things you do for the one you love…"

The red-eyed woman felt her lover tense beside her and saw her open her mouth to comment on the miko's rude remark when she stopped her. The playful smirk on the younger senshi's lips told her it was just a friendly jab, but her girlfriend obviously took it otherwise.

"I'm sorry, that was uncalled for," the lavender-eyed woman apologized with a soft sigh. "It just hasn't been my week."

Minako once again opened her mouth, this time to say that her ex has been this way to her lover ever since she found out about the two of them but stopped herself. After all, Rei must be in pretty bad shape to come to them, of all people.

"It's all right," Setsuna said dismissively. "I knew something was going to happen tonight, but not what exactly… or when."

The miko blushed softly.

"I really am sorry…"

"Don't worry about it, there's always after you leave."

The Guardian of Time tried to hide her blush by drink her tea. Rei just rolled her eyes at the Goddess of Love.

"Aye, you love your sex."

It was getting harder and harder for the oldest of the three women to keep her composure. She did _not_ image herself sitting in her living room at 5 in the morning while her lover's ex commented on her girlfriend's… ah, hobbies.

"You shouldn't be talking," the blonde singer responded.

"No," Rei responded wistfully. "I suppose not. Actually, that's part of the reason I came to talk to you two."

Minako arched a brow but didn't comment as her friend fidgeted. She knew her girlfriend was just as confused as to why their friend was here at 5 in the morning.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You see, I kinda… slept with Hotaru."

Setsuna started to cough furiously when the tea she was drinking went down the wrong way. Minako, though shocked, still had enough of her senses to pat her lover on the back.

"You what?" the blonde asked, a dumbfound expression on her pretty face.

"I slept with Hotaru."

"When?" the oldest senshi forced out.

"Six days ago."

"Wow."

The three fell silent after Minako's "comment." Rei shifted in her seat. What if Setsuna decided to kill her? Maybe she should have thought this through.

"Okay, what exactly do you need help with?"

"I uh…" the miko gulped, "kind of whispered your name the next morning."

"You what?"

The miko winced at Setsuna's angry and shocked tone. She didn't blame the older woman. Not only did she sleep with her adoptive daughter, but she whispered her lover's name as well. This was getting more than a little awkward.

"But I don't know why," Rei said as she stood and began to pace. "I _wasn't_ thinking about Minako. I wasn't really _thinking_ period! I mean, I had no reason to whisper Mina's name."

The miko walked over to the shocked blonde, took her face into her hands and kissed her. Kissed her long and rough.

"See?" Rei exclaimed when she pulled away and continued to rant, leaving a breathless Minako and a rather enraged Setsuna. "Nothing. I felt absolutely nothing. No fireworks, no thunder, no life altering feelings and no goose bumps! N-O-T-H-I-N-G! Nothing."

The miko slumped onto the couch, the hysteria in her voice gone, leaving her looking lost and confused.

"Not a single thing."

Lavender eyes turned to look at her blonde ex, burning with a desperation the other woman's rarely seen.

"I've loved you for 10 years. That's 3652 days. That's 87648 hours."

Rei stood as the silent couple watched her, unsure of what to say or do. She walked over to the window, looking out as her fists clenched at her sides. Her strained voice was barely a whisper when she spoke again.

"And suddenly I realize I care for, even love, someone else. God, can you imagine what that's like? She made her way into my heart without my notice, showed me love when I thought I'd feel it again and then bam! I care about her, I love her- love her when I thought I'd given up."

Minako looked over at her beautiful lover and squeezed her hand. Did she ever know that feeling, better than Rei thought.

"And then I fucked it up," the miko added, slamming her fist into the wall as the frustration returned to her voice. "I fucked up bad. God, how could I? I thought I was ready to give Hotaru a chance, but… but I obviously wasn't."

The frenzy the lavender-eyed woman worked herself into left her, leaving her tired as she looked down at her hands.

"I suppose there's one thing I have to do before I can move on. Before I can give Hotaru all of myself."

Rei turned to look at Minako, her eyes burning with an intensity that swallowed the blonde whole. Setsuna squeezed her lover's hand, telling her she was right next to her. The miko walked over, knelt down and took her friend's other hand in her own, voice soft and eyes pleading.

"When you left me… did you still love me?"

The blonde closed her eyes and shook her head in disbelief, her voice trembling.

"Oh… Rei…"

"No, really," the miko begged. "Did you?"

The senshi of Love gazed adoringly at her friend, whose need to know reflected in her face and the hurt she still felt in her eyes. She turned to Setsuna, who just smiled and nodded.

"God, Rei," the blonde whispered softly, caressing her ex's cheek. "Of course, I did."

The miko let out a breath she hadn't known she was holding and smiled, tears running down her face as she leaned into the touch.

"Then thank you."

Minako felt tears welling up in her eyes.

"For what?"

"For letting me go when you still loved me."

Rei looked up to find both the leader of the Inner Senshi and the Guardian of Time staring at her in shock. She smiled.

"Because you knew I was destined to be with Hotaru."

The blonde singer opened her mouth when her lover asked the question on both their minds.

"How did you know?"

The miko just grinned.

"I know Minako better than everyone thinks."

Her expression turned desperate, the frustration back in her eyes.

"Will you two please help me get Hotaru back? Please?"

The blue-eyed woman smiled down at the anxious woman and placed a loving kiss on her friend's brow.

"Of course."

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That was fast, wasn't it? You can thank Sailor Doc. Why? Because Sailor Doc reviewed. Now go read "Echoes of a Distant Demon" if you haven't already.

Oh, bobcat reference was from "Two Weeks' Notice" starring Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant. Not the world's best movie, but I liked it.

Title for the chapter comes from "Ticket to Heaven" by 3 Doors Down. I think it fits how Rei feels at this point.


	23. Sweet Surrender

Fallen From Grace

Hotaru looked around the crowded ballroom before straightening her black dress. Where was she?

"Hey! Hotaru!"

With a smile on her lips, the young woman turned to find Megumi making her way over to her, dressed in a cute black skirt and white blouse.

"Megumi, what took you so long?"

The brunette flashed her friend a winning smile before pulling the shorter girl into a tight hug. Hotaru paused, surprised, before wrapping her arms around the other girl.

"It's nice to see you out."

"I have you, Sara and Hikari to thank."

Megumi pulled back, her eyes unusually soft and a smile on her lips. It faded when she saw a black choker around her friend's neck and felt the gravity of the situation of that night hit her.

"Hotaru…"

The violet-eyed girl followed her friend's gaze and a hand moved instinctively to her neck. Her eyes glazed over at the reminder of a certain woman as she sobered.

"Why?"

Hotaru shook her head, clearing her mind of the painful memories before focusing o the confused expression on her friend's pretty face. She plastered on a grin.

"Hey, you've known for a while now. Besides, I thought you of all people would support my decision. You never did seem to like her."

"Hey! Megumi and Hotaru, over here!"

The two turned to the sound of Sara's voice to find her and Hikari making their way over. The blonde wore an off the shoulder white dress that fell just above her knees, summer sandals on her feet and a white purse on her arm. The other arm was wrapped around Hikari's waist.

Hotaru had to say they looked great together, her tall brunette friend looking adorable and a bit butch in a silk, black men's suit vest and a pair of black pinstriped dress pants. Her crisp white blouse made it seem like she and Sara had planned the whole thing.

"What took you two so long?"

Sara giggled as she hugged her black-haired friend, an excuse dying on her lips when she saw the black choker. She never expected Hotaru to actually have taken it off. Megumi shook her head meaningfully.

"Well, Sara didn't like what I was going to wear," Hikari said softly with a blush.

"She did a good job correcting you," Hotaru teased, smiling when her tall friend's blush deepened.

"Enough with the yapping," Megumi drawled. "Where have you two been?"

"Getting Sara's stuff, she's sleeping over tonight."

The violet-eyed girl grinned wickedly. Sleep, right.

"The school's never had the spring benefit here," the blonde of the group said suddenly, looking around the huge ballroom.

"I wonder who booked it," Hotaru murmured.

Hikari noticed the guilty look on Megumi's face, but knew better than to ask. Maybe later.

"So, when's this thing officially starting?"

The taller of the two brunettes looked at the program in her hand, blushing softly when her crush placed a hand over hers to angle it so that she could see as well.

"At nine, with a song performed by… it doesn't say, actually."

"Weird," Sara mumbled.

Megumi shrugged and herded the group over to the refreshment table.

"I need a drink."

Hotaru stuck close to her friends, feeling self-conscious in her dress. The spaghetti straps that held up her dress showed off her ivory skin and slim shoulders while the velvet hugged her curves. A few crystals dotted her bosom, drawing the attention of a couple of guys as she walked by. She was glad the dress went all the way down to the floor, bellowing out at the knees.

"Megumi, don't get drunk," Sara warned with a sigh as the shorter girl grabbed a flute of champagne.

"No worries, I don't get drunk, remember?"

Hotaru snorted softly while Hikari just smiled wearily and shook her head.

"Where are Haruka-san and Michiru-san, by the way?" the quietest of the four asked, looking around.

"They're here… somewhere."

Sara handed Hotaru and Hikari each a flute, but not before taking a sip of the tall brunette's since the blonde didn't take one for herself. The violet-eyed woman smiled at the cuteness of the sight.

Suddenly, the lights dimmed and everyone looked around in confusion. A familiar sound floated through the ballroom, a piano. A spotlight was shone on the stage and Hotaru turned to find Haruka sitting behind a grand piano.

"What the-"

That's when Hotaru saw her.

Rei stood on stage, the spotlight making her hair gleam like silk as the long locks cascaded down her back. A black dress, similar to her own, clung to her curvy body. Hotaru swallowed, her mind instantly comparing the miko to the beautiful lounge singers popular in the 40's and 50's. The dress was elegant, though sexy on Rei, baring her shoulders and elegant neck.

She was absolutely breathtaking as she stood there, tall and confident with that smug little smile on her full lips.

The college student snapped out of her daze when she remembered that she was currently at the annual fundraiser for her school, a place where the beautiful woman should _not_ be. What _was_ she doing here? And what was Haruka doing up there with her.

"Good evening, ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to the Annual Spring Fundraiser for Tokyo University."

Applause sounded around the room. Hotaru looked around to find her three friends by her and a very nervous Megumi fidgeting.

"I was given the honor of opening the festivities tonight, because my partners and I were able to contribute by providing this ballroom for the night, and I thank the University for giving me this chance."

Another round of applause. Well, that certainly answers the violet-eyed girl's question from earlier. But what exactly was Rei doing here anyway?

"I would like to begin by performing a piece that was written for me by a good friend of mine, Minako Aino."

The students that were present went crazy with applause and Hotaru felt her chest tighten. The blonde that was the root of the problem.

"I am very lucky to have the talented Haruka Tenoh and Michiru Kaioh accompany me tonight."

Rei swallowed and snuck a glance at the woman she was trying to win back, who was searching the room for, she guessed, her mentioned guardian.

"I'd like to dedicate this song to a lovely young woman, whom I've hurt deeply."

Purple eyes met and Hotaru was swallowed by the sincerity she saw in her love's lavender orbs. The miko didn't break their eye contact as she spoke, afraid that she'd lose the young woman again.

"I hope this song tells you just how sorry I am… and just how I feel about you."

Rei took a step back, and nodded to Haruka, who started playing at the cue. The raven-haired woman tried to calm her speeding heart and took a deep breath, preparing herself. This would be her last chance at winning Hotaru back. She licked her lips, placing a hand to steady the microphone as she sent up a silent prayer to her gods.

_"Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry._

_You don't know how lovely you are."_

The miko tried not to stare at the young woman whom she'd wronged, though it was taking a far greater effort than she had energy for at the moment. It was taking all her self-control not to jump off the stage, run to the stunning girl and hold her till the world came undone.

But she couldn't. Because she knew by the betrayed look in those beautiful violet eyes that she wasn't ready for that and maybe never be. It all depended on this and Rei felt her palms sweat at the thought.

_"I had to find you,_

_Tell you I need you,_

_Tell you I set you apart."_

Hotaru could neither believe her eyes nor her ears. Was Rei really saying what she thinks she's saying? If so, the young woman couldn't be sure whether or not she believed the miko.

It's hard not to remember what had happened, to ignore how hurt she felt. She had given everything she had to offer to the woman on the stage, who took it all with what seemed to her like love at the time. She had thought that everything would be all right once the miko responded, but she was wrong. She never expected Minako's name to be whispered after they had made love.

But it had, which meant Rei hadn't been ready for a new relationship. She turned out to be just another girl to replace of the blonde in Rei's bed. So, could she believe these words now? Could that much change in so little time?

_"Tell me your secrets,_

_And ask me your questions._

_Oh, let's go back to the start."_

'**I'm sorry,' **Rei whispered in her mind, eyes pleading with Hotaru**. 'I'm sorry for everything I've done. I'm sorry for not telling you everything, for never showing you what I'm really like on the inside. I've never allowed you to see into me, not the way that you let me see you.**

'**I'm ready now. Ready to tell you and show you everything that I keep inside. Can't we start over, Hotaru? Won't you give me another chance to show you who I am?'**

Another light illuminated the stage, letting the audience see Minako Aino's personal guitar player. He played a few chords before another light came on beside him to reveal Michiru Kaioh herself playing the bass.

_"Running in circles,_

_Coming up tails,_

_Heads on a silence apart."_

It was true, Hotaru realized dimly. It always turned out to be the same in the end. One of them would offer up their heart for the other to see what would happen. Up to now, it had always been her. She was the one to bare her soul, to open up her entire being. This time, it was Rei, the woman she loved, and knew she will always love. A part of her thought that it was about time.

She had always been the one with everything to lose while Rei remained perfectly safe. She had taken a leap of faith, only to have the miko let her fall. This time, it was the older woman's turn to take a leap and her turn to decide.

_"Nobody said it was easy._

_It's such a shame for us to part."_

Rei knew that love was never perfect. It had its ups and downs, its problems and its pain. It didn't always work out, but she hoped desperately this time it would.

The miko smiled as she recalled their little "adventure" in cleaning. She had been woken early in the morning, though fortunately not at dawn, to start the complicated task. Hotaru had assigned her to kitchen duty while she cleaned and organized the living room. Needless to say, it had taken the owner of the apartment almost two hours to clean out her refrigerator, wash a month worth of dishes and to get all the dust off the many plates that she hadn't touched in ages.

By the time she was done and ready to take a well-deserved rest, she entered the living room to find it absolutely spotless, with a coffee table that she hadn't see the glass of in days clean enough to eat off of. Her little slave driver was standing smugly at the balcony doors with a huge grin on her pretty face and a gleam in her eyes. Before she could even sit down, she was ordered to clean her room.

Feeling like a five year old again and grumbling under her breath, Rei remember trudging into the room and taking a look around. It hadn't been that messy, since she rarely did anything beside sleep, sometimes with other people, in the room. All she needed to do was sweep the floor and tidy up a bit here or there.

By the time she was done, Hotaru had already cleaned the bathroom, placed all her magazines in a bookshelf she kept especially for that purpose and organized her study. The miko remember being in utter shock, trying to figure out if her houseguest was even human. She finally figured the cleaning obsession came from living with Setsuna and Michiru. Actually, she knew a bit like Haruka, forced to clean.

At the end of the day, they were both, or at least Rei was, utterly exhausted. Being exhausted and lazy made eating out an easy choice. So the two of them showered and changed before heading to a nice little restaurant nearby that the miko visited if she had a night to herself.

They sat in a booth in the back, away from prying eyes, and shared a simple, but delicious dinner. They had talked about anything that came to mind, from music to movies to embarrassing moments. Rei couldn't remember enjoying any of her dates as much as those few hours with Hotaru.

_"Nobody said it was easy,_

_No one ever said it would be this hard."_

Hotaru could remember all those fairytales and bedtime stories from her childhood where the prince would ride in on a beautiful white horse and rescue the damsel. Then, of course they'd live happily ever after. But happily ever after didn't exist in the real world. The reality was… love came with pain, grief, hurt and betrayal as much as rainbows, giggling and that warm fuzzy feeling you get whenever you're with that special someone.

Only with heartache can one know what good times are, and tears made the worth of laughter all the greater. Love was meant to be bumpy, meant to be difficult, or else it wouldn't be special.

_"Oh, take me back to the start."_

Perhaps they could just wipe the slate clean and start all over again. Start over without the secrets and be open with each other. But that all depended on one thing, whether or not Hotaru could forgive and forget.

_"I was just guessing,_

_At numbers and figures,_

_Pulling your puzzles apart."_

Rei Hino could deny it all she wanted, but what she felt for Hotaru was greater than anything she'd ever felt for Minako. The star had rescued her from hopelessness while Hotaru had rescued her from her worse enemy, herself.

She used to wonder, years ago, back when Hotaru was still a little girl, what she would be like when she grew up. She wondered if she'd be quiet like before. Or maybe outgoing under Haruka's tutelage. It was even possible that Hotaru would be like Usagi.

But she also wondered what kind of person she would love. Rei had picked a handsome, quiet but brilliant young man for the toddler's perfect partner. Surprisingly, she fell for her. And Rei Hino possessed none of those three qualities. And she was definitely not a man.

_"Questions of science,_

_Science and progress,_

_Do not speak as loud as my heart."_

Hotaru Tomoe grew up to be somewhat of an enigma. She hadn't changed much, though she was more outgoing. She wasn't as shy as before, willing to stand up for her beliefs and convictions. She was intelligent and observant. She knew when to listen and exactly what to say.

She was also the last type of person the miko thought would be a good partner for her. Hotaru was too quiet, too sweet and far too introverted for her tastes. Ru seemed like she needed someone that could protect her. Someone that would understand her needs without saying a single word… someone that knew when to let her fly free.

Rei Hino could do none of the above and was the opposite in almost every way. She was overprotective but too broken to look out for someone else when it came down to the important things. She was intuitive, which being a miko trained her to be, but she always needed to be told what someone needed after her fallout with Minako. And being as overprotective as she was, she would always want to keep her safe.

But Hotaru was exactly what she needed.

Hotaru Tomoe was loving without being overbearing, knowing exactly when to express her feelings and when to let them speak for themselves. She was caring and kind, nursing her (even if she was tricked into it) when she was sick and confronting her about her habits, in her own way. She was a good listener but always knew the right things to say to sooth a tattered pride or calm a raging storm. She never judged and was fair to everyone about everything.

Then there were the little insignificant things. Like the way she'd brush her hand against Rei's when the miko was upset. Then there's how her smiles reminded Rei of sunshine after the rain. There were also the looks Hotaru gave her when their eyes met… a brief twinkle in those violet depths or a gleam of mischief. And let's not forget the most important thing, her secretive and innocent laugh, determined to be such after having a few drinks and calling a certain couple while they were otherwise engaged.

_"Tell me you love me._

_Come back and haunt me._

_Oh, and I rush to the start."_

Rei wanted nothing more than to have the young woman in her arms again, to feel her small body mold perfectly into hers and to feel her warmth wrap her in a blanket of security. She wanted to hear Hotaru whisper that she loved her again, even if it'd be the last time.

If it didn't work out, if the violet-eyed woman didn't forgive her, the miko would accept it without a word. She didn't have the right to do anything more than to beg for a chance and if she's rejected, then she'd done all she was entitled to do and nothing more. She refused to cling this time to something that would never be. Something that she' lost because of her own stupidity.

But she'll always remember the times they shared. The weeks she spent with Hotaru Tomoe were some of the best in her life, as important to her as her years with Minako. She didn't want to forget them and if she could, she would to carry them with her to the grave.

She may need Hotaru back, but she wouldn't force her. If the young woman does forgive her, then she'd be the lucky person on Earth. If not, then she deserved as much.

_"Running in circles,_

_Chasing our tails,_

_Coming back as we are."_

Rei Hino was baring her soul on stage and Hotaru understood it all. In essence, she had done the same thing in front of her, but for two very different reasons.

She had revealed her feelings on her own accord, because she needed to get it off her chest. Rei was doing it because she had to in order to get something she wanted. Her.

Only problem was, did she believe her? What could have caused the miko to change her mind so quickly? She still wanted Minako only a week before and now was telling Hotaru that she wanted _her_? Needed her even?

Could she trust Rei again?

_"Nobody said it was easy._

_Oh, it's such a shame for us to part._

_Nobody said it was easy._

_No one ever said it would be so hard."_

'**Fool me once,' **Hotaru thought as she closed her eyes,** 'shame on me. Fool me twice…'**

"Shame on me."

_"I'm going back to the start..."_

Rei closed her eyes as the spotlight on her dimmed and the ballroom echoed with applause. When the lights turned back on, the miko's lavender eyes searched for Hotaru. But found the spot where she stood only seconds ago empty. Her heart wrenched painfully in her chest. She'd failed. She'd lost what was most important to her.

Haruka stood and placed an arm around her friend's slim waist. She wasn't surprised when the defeated looking woman leaned against her for support as she led her off the stage.

Rei was shocked when she felt tears well up in he eyes. She thought she had no more to shed. She thought she'd cried them all when Minako left her and then Hotaru had done the same. Looked like she was wrong, as she has been so many times.

The blonde pianist looked desperately at Minako, who shrugged helplessly from the balcony as her eyes scanned for a sign of the missing girl.

The tears fell as the miko buried her face in her friend's tuxedo jacket, which caused a pair of strong arms to wrap tightly around her trembling form. She didn't hear the hurried steps that approached them.

"H-Haruka-san! Rei-san!"

The racer looked up to see Sara run up to them, panting and wheezing. She arched a brow.

"Rei! Hotaru wants you to meet her in the garden!"

Lavender eyes snapped open as the businesswoman turned to stare at the grinning college student. The tears stopped.

"Are… are you serious?"

"Yes!"

Rei stood still, unable to believe what she'd just been told. Hotaru wanted to see her? There was still a chance then! It wasn't too late.

"What are you waiting for?" Haruka asked, wiping the tears from the miko's cheek with a handkerchief.

Rei smiled and ran off in the direction of the garden, but not before pulling the two blondes with her into a tight hug. Then, she was gone.

Sara smiled as she walked back to where Hikari waited for her. Together, the two watched the exit through the double doors.

"Hopefully this will have a happy ending," the taller of the two said quietly.

"Of course it will. Hotaru and Rei-san deserve to be together."

"What about you?"

The blonde looked at her friend in confusion.

"What?"

"I know you like Hotaru."

"What!" exclaimed a very alarmed Sara.

"No use denying it. You've liked her for ages. I… I like you a lot, Sara. But I knew you'd never go out with me if Hotaru were still available. Now will you consider it?"

The blonde shook her head, looking angrier than Hikari expected. She also looked quite shocked, to say the least.

"You idiot," she whispered before storming off.

The brunette, left behind, stared at Megumi, who was standing nearby. She was surprised when her shorter friend shook her head as well, a look of disbelief and exasperation on her face.

"You idiot," Megumi echoed before walking away.

-------------------

Rei was nervous as she stepped into the garden. For good reason, though. She was given another chance to fix her huge mistake.

Her eyes looked around, trying to find the young woman whom she knew she loved. Her nose detected her before she saw her. Without hesitation, she walked in the direction of the familiar scent.

Hotaru stared at the small waterfall before her, hands fidgeting. She could feel the miko approach and her anxiety grew.

The lavender-eyed woman stopped when she saw her friend's back. She said nothing nor did she make a noise, waiting patiently for the other woman to acknowledge her presence.

Hotaru took a deep breath and turned around, a small smile on her lips. Rei blew her away again with how divine she looked in that dress. Her hair faded into the darkness, as did her outfit, leaving only creamy skin where exposed and her face easily seen in the surrounding darkness.

"You look beautiful."

The compliment brought the shorter girl back to the present and the moment at hand. Once the statement was processed, she blushed.

"Thank you. You look great, too."

The two fell silent. The night air was alive with the calls of insects and buzzing with promises of what could be. But at the same time, it was strangely tranquil. No matter how the night ended, it was a few beginning for the both of them. For two people that at one point thought they even had futures, this knowledge was Rei steeled her nerves. She was the one that made a mess of things, she should be the one to start talking. But seeing Hotaru, being only a few feet away from her… all the words left her.

"Rei…"

"I'm sorry."

The college student stiffened, not expecting that of all things.

"I know I messed up," continued the miko softly. "I messed up bad and I didn't even know it. I would not have done it if I had been conscious."

Hotaru felt her heart sink. If she had been conscious. Damn it, that meant she really did still love Minako. Her heart broke a little bit more.

"But maybe it was a good thing I whispered Minako's name."

Shock and hurt coursed through the younger girl, forcing her to look at the woman speaking. Rei had a wistful smile on her lips, her eyes dim with regret and a kind of bitterness.

"It meant I wasn't as ready to love you as I thought."

Hotaru felt the familiar feeling of heartache return. Why was she doing this to her all over again? Hadn't she hurt her enough? She turned around, unable to deal with that the woman she loved was telling her.

"I thought I severed all ties with Minako. I was wrong. After you left, I thought long and hard about who I was. And I realized there was one bit of unfinished business I had to attend to before I gave myself completely to you."

Rei wrapped her arms around the violet-eyed girl's waist from behind after closing the distance in a few strides. At first, the youngest senshi's body was stiff, but it soon relaxed under the warmth that came from the businesswoman. Both of them relished in how perfect this felt, the two of them touching and the beauty of the night.

Then, as if by magic, one by one glowing lights surrounded them. The two stared at the fireflies in a daze as they hovered above the trees, on the flowers and in the air.

"I finally get it, Hotaru. You can love more than one person in your life. The past doesn't matter, it's the past. The memories Minako and I made when we were together were some of the best in life, but that's all they are… memories."

The smaller of the two placed a hand over the one resting on her stomach. God, this felt so right.

"I messed up, badly. But I can never forget Minako and I don't want to. I can't expect you to forget those that you've been with and I don't want you to either. All that matters is who you're with in the present."

Rei turned Hotaru around to find tears in her large, violet eyes. She took the woman's face in her hands, her voice as soft as a lover's caress and as sweet as a first kiss.

"Give me another chance? Please? Because you're the one I want to be with, I get that now. You're the one I love."

The question lingered in the air, the fireflies stopped flying, landing all around the two with their lights ablaze. Everything stopped for that single moment and all the world hushed as she awaited the answer.

Rei tried to ignore the dread bubbling inside of her. She prayed to every deity she knew of. Please, just this once.

Without a single word, Hotaru leaned up and touched her lips to the awaiting miko's. She stared into the shocked lavender eyes for a split second, happy beyond words that the eyes she loved brightened and filled with love. Her own closed as she smiled, only one thought on her mind.

Rei's eyes were filled with love for her, and that's all that mattered.

* * *

The song used in this chapter, as you may well recognize, is Coldplay's "The Scientist." 


	24. Epilogue

Fallen From Grace

Hikari pulled her shirt over her head just as the doorbell started ringing. It was impossible that Megumi was here already for the movie.

With a puzzled look, she opened the door to find Sara standing there with a large box. The blonde thrust it into her hands.

"Here's the bear you got for me back."

With that, she spun on her heels and left. The brunette stared at her disappearing back before shutting the door with a soft sigh.

She and her crush had been on bad terms since the party three weeks ago. She didn't know why Sara was so upset with her. Her hands lifted the lid of the box and placed it on the side.

Instead of the black bear with the violet ribbon she'd been expecting nestled in it, it was a coffee brown bear with a gray ribbon. Her jaw dropped as she looked into the mirror by the door, where a pair of gray eyes stared back at her.

Holy shit.

Hikari raced out the room and pressed the down button of the elevator furiously. The number six was highlighted above the doors. She cursed under her breath and pulled open the door to the stairs and ran down all fourteen flights. When she arrived in the lobby, she found it empty and half threw herself out of the building, scaring the security guards.

Her gray eyes searched the crowded street both ways for a hint of a golden mane. She found it just as the bobbing head turned the corner.

The brunette sped down the street, running faster than she ever had before. For the first time, she wished she was the captain of the track team rather than the captain of the chess club.

She closed in on Sara as the blonde was in the middle of the street. Her hand reached out and grabbed her arm. She saw brown eyes widen with shock as she pulled the shorter girl to sweaty body. The shocked college student opened her mouth to question her friend before Hikari pressed their lips together.

Sara stilled for a second, then wrapped her arms around her friend's neck, lips fighting back to express all that she felt for the taller girl.

The two didn't hear the cars honking at them as the traffic light turned green.

----------------------------------

Rei sighed softly as she massaged her temples and moved the phone away from her ear for a second. She took a deep breath and braced herself for the conversation that would follow.

"And what am I going to wear? I mean, it's one thing to go clubbing, I know what to wear for that. But a casual date? Help me, I mean I have so much clothes but they're either too formal or really not appropriate and none of it seems to fit the occass-"

"Utena, stop."

The older woman did as the miko shifted into a more comfortable position.

"You're going to be fine. You can wear rags and Kenji will still think you look amazing. It's not like anything you have on will _stay_ on."

"Rei Hino! I'm going to kill you! I don't know what you're implyin-"

"Oh, come on Utena, you've liked him for ages."

"He was always too infatuated with you."

The lavender-eyed woman felt a pang of guilt when she heard the whisper.

"I'm sorry, Utena."

The older woman sighed softly and then chuckled.

"It's not your fault."

"Yes, yes it is."

There was a slight pause.

"Hino, I thought you were supposed to calm my nerves, not send both of us into a guilt trip."

Rei chuckled softly; glad to have Utena as a friend and confidant for the millionth time that month.

"Yes, I'm sorry. Where should I begin?"

"You can try with, 'don't worry, whatever you wear will look stunning since you're so beautiful.'"

"Don't worry, whatever you wear will look stunning since you're so beautiful. What next?"

"How about, 'Kenji was the one that asked you out, so don't panic. He's probably as nervous as you are, knowing him.'"

"Kenji was the one that asked you out, so don't panic. He's probably as nervous as you are, knowing him."

"Okay, guess I'll go and get ready now."

"Hey," Rei said with a pout. "Don't I get a thank you?"

"Why? I did everything for you!"

"Yes, but you'd never have believed any if it if you said it yourself."

Utena made a growling noise that she always did when she was exasperated and annoyed but relented anyway.

"Thank you," she grumbled.

Rei grinned. "No problem. My pleasure."

"You ass."

Both women laughed softly before Utena sighed softly, relieved and more relaxed than she was when she called the miko half an hour ago.

"I really should go get ready now."

"Okay. Have a good time."

"Thanks."

Rei hung up and grinned, shaking her head.

----------------------------------

Hotaru sighed softly as she fixed her dress. The neckline was cut too low and there was a danger she'd flash the entire room every time she moved. It's the last time she wore one of Setsuna's designs. They were all meant for women with bosoms like her adoptive mother's favorite model, aka Minako Aino.

"Quit fussing with it, will you? We'll be late."

The annoyed young woman turned to her lover, who was leaning against the wall with her arms crossed, a black dress clinging to her.

"Not my fault my boobs aren't big enough for this thing."

Rei laughed as she glided over to the pouting girl, hands reaching out to fix the dress. Within seconds, the folds of the violet colored fabric clung to the woman's chest. The miko smirked while her girlfriend glared at her.

"All right, all right, quit glaring and let's go."

Hotaru didn't stop.

"If it makes you feel better, I think your boobs are great."

With a deep blush, the shorter girl turned and opened her jewelry box, taking out a bracelet and a watch that looked great with the dress she wore. The fiery-tempered girlfriend couldn't help but lean over and kiss her neck.

"Where's the necklace I gave you?"

Hotaru pulled back, doe eyes sad and somewhat scared.

"I threw it away after you whispered Minako's name."

Rei laughed at the sorrowful and guilty expression on the shorter woman's face and took a box out from a jacket that was hanging close by.

"I know. Here."

The younger woman took the box, the excitement and surprising on her face making her seem adorably innocent. Her lover laughed again and motioned for her to open it.

Hotaru gasped when she did, staring in shock at the necklace that lay within. It was the very same one she had thrown away.

"How…?"

"I dug through the junkyard."

The short girl's jaw dropped as she snapped to look at her lover. The look of disgust on the miko's lovely face was enough to tell her it was true.

"Oh, Rei!"

"It was rather nasty, as you may have guessed. Fortunately, Megumi told me pretty quickly so they knew which area it was in."

At the pitying, shocked and guilty look on Hotaru's face, the businesswoman burst into giggles.

"No, I didn't dig through the junkyard. Megumi snatched it when you weren't looking from the trash."

There was an indignant scream followed by a punch, a couple of slaps and a few curses thrown in here and there. Rei laughed at the anger her girlfriend was displaying, as well as the temper. She vaguely wonder how Megumi and her boyfriend were enjoying that all-inclusive cruise. She did owe the girl big.

"All right, I'm sorry!"

Hotaru stopped, huffing in indignation before stalking out of the room. The miko grinned and ran after her. Hopefully they won't be late for Usagi and Mamoru's engagement party. She did _not_ want to have their Princess mad at them.

As the two stepped into the elevator, Rei pulled a still angry Hotaru into her arms. She relaxed almost immediately, smiling softly. The miko grinned and buried her face in her lover's jet-black locks.

The impossible had been accomplished because of Hotaru Tomoe's love.

Rei Hino had returned to grace.

---------------

Ladies and gentlemen, that's the end of "Fallen From Grace."

I was really annoyed when this was taken off the first time. This was the first piece of shoujo-ai that I completed. For them to take it off seemed like a bad omen.

But it did give me a chance to reread everything and edit it. While I can't say this is my proudest piece, I am extremely proud of it.

Thanks for reading. You guys have been amazing. Thanks for all the support and reminders to get off my ass. I sincerely hope you've enjoyed this.


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